A Most Unlikely Berserker
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: He'd lived a good life. A long one. A happy one. The war was won. He saved his friend. Triumphed over darkness. Was hailed as a hero. He became Hokage. He expected that to be the end of it, to die in his sleep and pass on. Fate had other plans. In the end, he's a Most Unlikely Berserker. Fate Apocrypha! Inspired by RedhathackerSin's story "Lucid Berserker"! Narutoxharem!
1. Rebirth

**A/N:** **So.**

 **Apologies, but this'll be the last new story for awhile.** **At this time I've completed and updated a LOT of stuff, and gosh darn it I aim to finish the rest! Not a Machine turned out nicely in that regard. Keeper of the Heart's going to be wrapped up soon as well. Daddy Won't You Please Come Home is nearing its conclusion as well, with an update planned for tomorrow. I'm also teaching others how to write if anyone is interested...?** **Now then, Major props to** **RedhathackerSin and his** **story "Lucid Berserker" for giving me this idea in the first place!**

 **Go check it out!**

 **I decided to take things a step further, however.** **A tale of Fate Apocrypha; in that Naruto is the Berserker of Red, replacing Spartacus. With his own Master.**

 **This is literally the Naruto from cannon.**

 **One who lived himself a full life.**

 **One who raised his children.**

 **One who died of old age.**

 **One who lives again.**

 **Also, Naruto's going to have a Master in this, because let's face it; none of us like the idea of him dancing to Shirou's merry tune. We all know he's not the type to just follow orders blindly without question. No, he would shout and snarl and rail against them all the while.** **Furthermore the matter of the Red Masters is a murky one at that itself; in that we never clearly see who summoned who with the exception of Mordred and Semiramis. Add to that the fact that Shirou all but undercut said Masters and stole their Command Seals and you have a very confusing situation.** **Not here.**

 **Now, with that aside, I proudly present...**

 **...A Most Unlikely Berserker!**

 **And who knows?**

 **We might see others from the Naruto cast...**

 **...depending how well this is received!**

 _"Ha? What's that? I don't look like a Berserker?"_

 _"No! You don't! Not a bit! Not at all!"_

 _"Well excuse me, princess!"_

 _~?_

 **Rebirth**

 _It was a good life._

 _I have no regrets. None worth mentioning at any rate. I had a good time. Won the war. Saved my friend. Got married. Became Hokage. Started a family. Raised plenty of kids. I outlived them all in the end, but still, I died happy. I got to see my grandchildren grow up and have kids of their own. That's the vaunted Uzumaki vitality for you. If you don't die in battle, you're going to get older. Nope, it wasn't a bad life. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Because of that I was able to see the world grow into a peaceful utopia. No more madmen. No risk of war breaking out._ _I can rest easy now._

 _Maybe I should just do that._

 _Leave it to the younger generations._

 _T_ _here's a few young upstarts in that lot of course-there always are-but I have faith that cooler heads will prevail._

 _Yeah._

 _I've done enough._

 _Everyone's waiting for me._

 _Still...is it wrong that I don't want to rest?_

 _These old bones of mine don't want to lay down just yet. I may be the only left of my generation but going out like this just feels wrong somehow. Ha? Why the long face? Its not like me to just die quietly, ya know! I may be old but I'm not that old. I don't want to die in my sleep like the others. No, I want to go out with a bang. With laughter in my ears and a smile on my face. One last hurrah._

 _What?_

 _Another adventure?_

 _I wouldn't mind that at all._

 _Not like I got anything better to do..._

* * *

 _(...?...)_

* * *

 _At last!_

Jean Rum watched the circle before her burn scarlet and felt her heart burn with pride.

At last!

Success!

Her preparations had been excruciating, her timing painstakingly precise. She'd acted at the exact moment the winds were at their highest, when her magic stood at its peak. All her calculations were precise. She didn't care which class she summoned-if she managed to avoid the unpredictable Berserker stigma!-so long as she whose talents complimented hers, that was all that mattered. A Servant with a _wind_ affinity would be perfect, given the nature of her abilities. Yes, that would suit her expectations indeed.

"Arise!" she finished her lengthy incantation with a triumphant shout, "Guardian of the heavenly scales!"

Sparked by her command, the wind picked up, blasting her hair backward.

Such phenomena was within Jean's expected calculations, of course.

A moment of silence passed as she waited with bated breath.

 _Then came the explosion._

A pillar of golden-crimson radiance erupted from the circle all at once, throwing Jean on her rear and dashing her glasses from her face.

 _'What in the world?!'_

If the mere summoning of her Servant could create a storm of this magnitude, then she'd truly chosen very well indeed. Most would have balked as the skies darkened overhead; others would cringed as the mighty gale spawned a towering tornado that sundered nearby trees and plunged the clearing into darkness. Jean did not fear the shadows. Nor the storm. She had seen far worse in her career as a magi. The darkness in humanity's heart put any form of nature to shame. Still, there was a certain savage beauty to be seen in the storm. A distant, detached part of her wondered if it would consume her. Even now she felt her feet dragging, threatening to lift her into the air at any moment-

And then, as abruptly as the storm had come, so too did it fade.

Steeling her very soul, Jean awaited a response.

Bleary eyes trained into the thick smoke.

Slowly, something stirred within.

These next few moments were crucial for Jean; not only would they determine the nature of her relationship with her Servant, but they may well affect her chances of success in the battles to come. This Holy Grail War would be most unlike the others after all; perhaps the first and last of its kind if Yggdmillennia had their way. Trifas was a large place indeed and she'd have to work with others magi at that. Although the idea of mutual cooperation toward a goal rankled Jean somewhat, she knew that it must be put aside until the Black Faction was dealt with.

Then, perhaps, there would be time for her wish.

Doubtless they would all turn on one another in time once the goal was within their grasp. Still, the Association had its expectations of her and she aimed to fulfill them. She was being paid handsomely for this endeavor after all. No doubt her efforts would prove fruitful. For now, it was critical that she'd summoned a strong contender for the war to come. For now, she would hold her tongue, await a response, and try not to look like an utter idiot in the face of her new companion. Yes, companion. Anyone who viewed such a fantastical being as a familiar was a fool in her eyes-

 _Aha!_

Movement!

A blurred figure in bright colors stepped out of the haze and shifted into her field of vision.

"Well, now!" a loud, boyish voice exclaimed. "What do we have here?!"

Jean's face flushed with a thousand shades of shame.

If only she had her glasses to see them...!

Perhaps her Servant could...

"Here." the newcomer rumbled abruptly. "I'm guessing these are yours."

Thus, it came as something of a surprise when her lost spectacles were inexplicably returned to her. As she looked, still squinting against the dust and grit in her eyes, the figure extended an arm and pressed her lost frames onto her face. Rough, callused fingers brushed her face. Jean's mind blanked to white. She no longer had it in her to move in that moment. With infinite gentleness her Servant adjusted her glasses in swift yet deft movements and then, apparently satisfied with their work, stepped back with a satisfied grunt.

Almost immediately, their own visage swam into crystal clear clarity.

"There." he bobbed his head. That should do, Master."

"I...you...ah!"

The sound reactivated Jean's frazzled psyche and she hastened to correct the battered rims as best she could. Frantic, the magus scrambled back to her feet. Dirtied hands palmed her dress with needless haste, desperate to focus on anything, anything, _anything_ but that surreal experience she'd just endured. She almost couldn't bear to look at the being who was _clearly_ her Servant. How...how could he?! She'd never been touched like that before! Ever! By anyone! It might seem strange for an accomplished magus and killer to be flustered so, but therein lay the truth.

Jean Rum was embarrassed, right and proper.

More-so when she finally mustered up the resolve to look at him.

With a jaw popping yawn, her Servant stretched his arms to the heavens.

"Ah, much better! Feels good to be young again!"

Bright blue eyes the color of endless skies gazed back at her, framed by whiskered cheeks, wild saffron hair and a smile like sunshine. A cloak the color of dark honey hung over their shoulders, sheltering the dark crimson and black vestments worn beneath it. Upon his back lay a giant scroll of unknown origin, secured by a single strap to his shoulders. Jean felt her hopes plummet at the sight of him. Her first thought was that she'd made a mistake and summoned Assassin rather than one of the top tier classes. Oh, this was just the worst...! She silently prayed she was wrong.

"If its about your wish, don't worry; I've got the gist of it thngs to the Throne." he hummed, folding both arms behind his head before she could speak up. "I don't really have a wish of my own. I'm just in this for fun."

That didn't reassure Jean.

Not at all.

Not.

One.

Bit.

"And you are...?" she managed through clenched teeth.

"Eh? Oh, you mean me. Right, right. Sorry, this is still kinda new to me." he grinned, knuckling his forehead like a churlish child. "Lets see...what were the words? Aha! There they are. Ahem," laughing, he coughed into a fist to clear his voice, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Class, Berserker. At your service. I ask of you, are you my master~?"

...damn.

His simple remark innocent smile-as well as those words-knifed straight through Jean's heart. That look, that smile, that expression of absolute trust...it was more deadly than a poisoned knife. Too good! Too pure! But he was a Berserker?! This was the worst possible match-up for her! Just how young was he?! He barely looked to be out of his teens! Was he even?! She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She wanted to shake him and all but demand her catalyst back. Of course, she could do none of these, so she was left with only one option.

In the end, slumped.

"Urk." she managed eloquently.

Really, it was all she could think to do.

"Did you not hear me, Master?" Naruto blinked, confused. "I said my name is-

"No, no," she groaned, "I heard you, its just...you don't look like one...

Naruto's right eye twitched at her offhand remark, ever so slightly.

"Ha? What's that? You mean I don't look like a Berserker?"

"No!" Jean exploded! "You don't! Not a bit! Not at all!"

 _"Well excuse me, princess!"_

 **A/N: And there we go. An older, more experienced Naruto summoned in his prime and youth. That is to say, at his peak. Furthermore, I know its obvious by now, but YEs** **Naruto's Master for this war is Jean Rum. I wasn't about to swipe Mordred's master from her. Those two jive too well together.** **Yes, Jean is an actual character in Apocrypha-but not well known.** **Go look her up on the Type Moon Wiki if you're at all confused.** **She wields the wind element and chakrams as her weapons, making her a capable magus of the Association.**

 **And there we have it.**

 **Naruto as Berserker of Red.**

 **I can easily see him being paired with Atalanta or Morder so TELL ME WHO YOU WANT in a review. Hell, I'd even be down with a female iteration of Astolfo in this. That little trap's just too amusing to ignore...**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Yes, the last one is intentional~!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **(Previews)**

 _'This one...is dangerous!'_

 _Shirou paid his Servant's concern no heed._

 _"Ah. Its a pleasure to finally meet you, Berserker of Red."_

 _Naruto eyed the extended hand with vague interest._

 _Almost imperceptibly, his gaze narrowed._

 _...noted. We're leaving, Jean."_

 _"Huh!? Wait a second-_

* * *

 _"Hmm...I think I like you."_

 _Atalanta sputtered in surprise._

 _"W-What?! What nonsense is this?!"_

* * *

 _"Enough! You're going to pay for everything you said about me and my Master..._

 _Lancer frowned._

 _"You can't possibly win."_

 _Berserker grinned._

 _Turned his head, slowly._

 ** _"You're missing the point."_**

 _His entire body seemed to pulse with otherworldly radiance, as though lit from within. Gold vied with crimson, wild prana warring for a dominance within his body. While neither triumphed, the tension continued to rise. Veins throbbed in his forehead and neck, his appearance becoming more and more feral as Lancer looked on. Indeed, those once gentle red eyes held a decidedly slitted look to them now, wide and nearly euphoric with demented glee. Not just that, his very presence felt unstable, cracks of energy bursting beneath the skin with wild abandon. Surely he wouldn't continue this. Not unless he intended to..._

 _Too late, he realized._

 _"No!"_

 ** _"YES!"_**

 _The explosion hit a heartbeat later._

 **R &R~!**


	2. Butting Heads

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS THE ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **Ahem.** **Sorry about that.** **But in other news...**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MANY REVIEWS~!**

 **OVER ONE HUNDRED FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER ALONE!** **0_0**

 **I didn't anticipate this much support, ya know!** **And okay, okay, someone pointed out the Masters of Red, but seeing as they got next to NO screen-time, one should let that slide. Furthermore, a few of Naruto's fans have asked if this is going to be a stomp fic. IT IS NOT.**

 **A LOT of the Apocrypha servants could give him one hell of a fight if it comes to it. More than you might think, given the unique circumstances surrounding their summoning.**

 **Karna, for one. Frankly, I'm amazed Sieg beat him. A pissed-off Atalanta with Madness Enhancement would make him work for it too** **.** **Semiramis's poison is deadly.** **Of course, there are others as well** **Need I say more?** **Also, I have questions for the lot of you, dear readers!**

 **Does Caules not deserve Frankenstein?**

 **Does Shirou not deserve Semiramis?**

 **Does Sieg not deserve Jeanne?**

 **I don't want to just swoop in and take their girls without a damn good reason, ya know? I can easily find some leeway in regards to Fran, but the other two...that'd be tricky. If any of you can give me a reason, that's fine. I'm not opposed to it. However, I don't want to do add to the harem for the sake of adding to the harem, if that makes any sense. Naruto's going to be establishing genuine bonds with people/Servants here, not meaningless flings that he'll never give a second thought to. In Atalanta's case that means a LOT of bonding time. She swore a vow of chastity after all, and its going to take a LOT of effort on Naruto's part to make her even consider breaking it.** **But with the above questions asked, I humbly await your answers and reviews!**

 **And no, I'm not at all opposed to gender-bending Astolfo.**

 **As the title suggests, there's a lot of chaos to be had!**

 **Now, with that aside, I proudly present...**

 **...A Most Unlikely Berserker!**

 **Minor time skip here!**

 **From evening...**

 **...to morn~!**

 **Mordred and Atalanta gets their chance to shine in this chapter and shine they does~!**

 **I also feel I should point out that Naruto's hair is slightly longer in this form-think Menma's length-due to him being summoned as a Berserker.**

 **I'm sure you're all wondering just what kind of Bersrker he is at that~!**

 _"That's no servant she's summoned. That **thing** is a monster."_

 _"Ho? You sound as if you know him personally."_

 _"I know his legend well enough."_

 _"Can you kill him?"_

 _...not alone."_

 _~?_

 **Butting Heads**

 _Atalanta felt her ears twitch._

From her perch in the trees, she sensed Berserker's approach long before she saw him; heard him crashing through the undergrowth toward her position. One had but to listen. It had to be Berserker, or Saber at the very least. No other class exuded that kind of raw power. No one else could light up the night merely by being _summoned_ to this plane of existence. With her superior senses she didn't need to search for them. She intrinsically knew that they, whomever they were, would come for her. She wasn't making any effort to hide after all. Part of her was silently grateful. She could've easily been summoned as Berserker herself thanks to her Phantasm _Agrius Metamorphosis: Boar of Divine Punishment,_ yet she'd lucked out and manifested as Archer instead.

Perhaps it was just her own wayward curiosity, but she wanted to see who had been inflicted with such a cruel fate.

Trifas certainly didn't lack for vantage points in that regard.

The trees provided perfect cover, allowing her to see-

A bolt of gold shot past, shattering her reverie.

"Found you~!" a triumphant voice cried from just behind her flank. "I thought I sensed someone lurking about out here."

Years of honed instinct had her knocking an arrow in the voice's direction-one couldn't be sure if this was a Servant of Black after all-but in the end, she needn't have bothered. A young man with wild blue eyes and a mop of messy golden hair lay crouched on the branch beside her; a red cloak thrown over his orange-and-black vestments. A scroll of massive proportions hung over his shoulders. As she looked on in quiet disbelief, he struck up a pose, rolled his head in a full circle, and thrust one hand forward. Had she been familiar with the hijinks of a certain perverted sage, she would've recognized the absurd stance and skewered him full of arrows.

Thankfully, she did not.

"Berserker of Red, Uzumaki Naruto, at your service!" the young man declared boisterously, grinning at her. "Judging by your bow, I'm guessing you're Archer? No, you're _definitely_ Archer, right?"

What was this strange eagerness of his?!

It was like talking to a puppy!

Straightening from her crouch, Archer frowned.

"You would abandon your Master so easily, Berserker?"

"Rest assured, my adorable little magus is sound asleep, so I decided to step out and investigate." his smile didn't lessen in the slightest, if anything it seemed to burn even brighter at her pointed remark. "Trust me, she's perfectly safe. So! Now that I've shown you mine, how about you show me yours, eh?"

It wasn't as if the oaf was being terribly subtle about it.

In the end, she replied.

...Archer of Red, Atalanta."

"Nice to meet you!" Naruto beamed.

She didn't expect him to leap over to her.

Much less to extend a hand to her in friendship.

"Why take me at my word so easily?" warily, she eyed the offered limb. "I could be lying."

"Its not like me to be so suspicious of people." pearly white teeth flashed in a roguish grin, exposing sharpened canine teeth. "There's really only one person I'm suspicious of, and you're nothing like him. So if you claim to be Archer of Red, then you must be Archer of Red. And if by some chance you're actually lying to me, I'll kill ya. Problem solved." For a fleeting moment, the peerless huntress saw a beast stir in those blue eyes. Or were they red? She blinked and like an errant shadow fleeing before the dawn, that brief glimmer of darkness vanished. Despite that faint glimpse of madness she'd experienced, Atalanta felt no fear.

There could be little room for confusion in such a way of being.

Indeed, part of her respected his line of thinking.

 _'What a simple way to live.'_

"What's your wish?"

Again, that sudden line of questioning!

"My wish?" the huntress turned her head to regard the unlikely Berserker. "Don't you have one of your own?"

"Nope! Not at all~!" the blond grinned. "I'm just happy to have a second chance at life after losing mine. You could even say that simply behind here is my wish. And yours?"

This time, the follower of Artemis didn't hesitate.

"I wish for the salvation of all children." Seeing his baffled expression, she sighed and banished her bow, forsaking combat in her haste to explain her dream. "That is to say, for them to be loved. That they might never know the pans of loneliness. For them to never to hungry. To be loved and cherished. If the Grail can gran this, then I would have no regrets."

Naruto actually blinked at that.

"Save them all, huh?"

"Yes!" the intensity of her response and expression nearly floored him. "What's wrong with that?!"

Sighing, the Berserker scratched at his metal headband with finger.

"I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but...hmm."

A sad smile adorned those whiskered cheeks.

"It'll be difficult, ya know?"

"Even so, I must!"

"Hmm...

There hadn't been so much as a glimmer of hesitation in her response; indeed, how could there be? For her to state something so unreasonable might sound childish to most, but for one such as Atalanta, there could be no greater calling. If the Grail had the power to grant such a wish, then how could it not? It was a pure wish, distorted perhaps, but pure in its intentions nevertheless. She had no desire for fame, wealth, power, or even a second chance at life like him. Her sole desire was to save others. Even if it meant being mocked. Ridiculed. Disdained. Abhorred. They weren't so different, she and him.

For a boy who'd experienced the hell that was loneliness, he knew better than most.

You couldn't save everyone even if they were children; one was always suffering, somewhere in this world.

Yet here Atalanta was, trying to overturn that very reality with her own hands. Did that make her an idealist? Or a fool?

Was such a wish possible? He supposed it might well be. From what he knew of the Holy Grail, it could indeed grant such a wish. Perhaps this was something to fight for. A better goal, a destination, rather than living for the sake of living, or fighting for entertainment. Even if it wasn't something that could be achieved by one or two people, surely an all-powerful wish granting device could.

Regardless, her words lit a fire in him.

 _"Atalanta!"_

Archer nearly fell off the bough and tumbled to the forest below, such was the vehemence with which Berserker had spoken. Before she could snap at him in recompense for his temerity, the blond clamped both hands on her shoulders and drew her into a firm embrace. Squirming in discomforted embarrassment, the huntress could only flail mutely, to no avail. His grip was iron, and she hadn't the strength to break free, let alone escape a firm hold like his. Still! What manner of madness was this?! Why was he shouting and hugging her out of the blue? Had he lost his mind?!

"Hmm...I think I like you."

Pulling away, Naruto gave her a gentle shake and laughed.

Yosh! I've decided! That dream of yours! I'm going to help you achieve it!"

Atalanta sputtered in surprise.

"W-What?! What nonsense is this?! Just who are you to say such a thing?!"

"Who, me?" the doppelganger grinned. "I'm just a clone."

Verdant green eyes narrowed.

"A...clone?"

"Oops! Shouldn't have said that! Bye-bye~!"

With a grin, "Berserker" went up in a plume of smoke.

Leaving poor Atalanta to ponder what on earth just happened.

* * *

 _(...Early the Next Morning...)_

* * *

 _"...alright, I give up. What the hell are ya taking me to church for, Master?"_

It was the first thing he'd said to her all afternoon.

Jean staunchly ignored the voice in her head and kept walking; resuming her brisk pace toward the building in question. Even in astral form, he continued to rile her. Not with words, but silence. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her eye twitch. The bastard was just trying to get a rise out of her after last night. Yes, that was it. He wouldn't succeed. Jean Rum could be called many things as a magus; she was a killer, a bibliomaniac, and secretly a hopeless romantic at heart, but she had her pride. In the war to come, the latter seemed a small, petty thing indeed. Yet Berserker had wounded it all the same. Perhaps it was petty of her to withhold the reason for their presence here but after their little spat, she was feeling a tad bit cross with her Servant.

 _Well excuse me, princess!_

Where did he get off calling her that?! How dare he!

"You'll just have to wait and see, Berserker."

 _"You're not still mad are you?"_

She turned up her nose.

 _"Is that a yes?"_

"..."

 _"Oh, for the love of_...what did I do wrong?"

A swirl of wild golden dust swam around Jean's shoulders and rapidly assumed the shape of her Servant even as he finished speaking. Naruto's manifestation proved so abrupt that she wasn't able to stop in time; when he abruptly barred her path she tripped over her own two feet and slammed headlong in his chest. A dark-sleeved arm shot out and steadied her by the waist, cradling her closer. Far closer than necessary. _Aha!_ There it was. That smile again. An infuriating gleam of white that brooked no trespass and she found her resolve faltering at the sight of it.

"Will you stop?!"

Batting his hand aside, Jean wriggled out of his grasp and stormed past him.

"Alright, princess, mind telling me what I did to upset you?"

 _"Stop calling me princess!"_

"Eh? But it kinda suits you, ya know?" the young man drawled, trailing after her. "Besides, I'm boooooooored~! When're we gonna see some action?!"

"If you're that restless, use your Noble Phantasm and scout out the city." she retorted waspishly, pausing to face her churlish Servant fully. "I don't need you for this." In truth, she didn't. She only needed to register the two of them as participants in the ward and _potentially_ cooperate with the other Masters of the Red Faction. Naruto's presence wasn't needed. He was better suited to combat in that regard. Spirits, she hoped he'd finally give in and listen to her...!

Instead he grinned and trotted after her with an impish laugh.

"How do you know I'm not using it now-oomph!"

He grunted as her elbow slammed his gut.

 _"Because you're still solid."_

Laughter greeted her.

"Jeez! I felt that!"

One of his supposed Noble Phantasms involved the use of duplication, or so he claimed. A technique like that could be used to devastating effect if utilized properly. Assuming she could ever get him to do so without use of a Command Spell. Why did she feel as though _he_ was the Master and she, the Servant? Ugh, she wasn't getting anywhere like this. Indeed, it felt as though she were the one losing ground here. Perhaps she ought to give him an order; tell him to shut his mouth for the duration of the war-no. If things continued at this rate, she risked damaging her relationship with Berserker. To use them on frivolous things would be the height of fallacy.

If he turned on her and she didn't have anything to hold him back...

...the thought sent a small shudder through her.

Perhaps reconciliation was best after all.

"Perhaps that was childish of me." she sighed, shaking her head. "You're forgiven. Just be on your best behavior in there. The last thing we want to do is make foes of the Church. I have enough enemies already. No tricks from you. No pranks. Nothing. Understand?"

Naruto blinked.

"Why the long face?" he beamed." I'm always on my best behavior, Master."

Cheeky _little...!_

"You are aware that I still have THREE Command spells I can use." she held up her marked hand for emphasis. "Don't push your luck."

Before her eyes, the whiskered warrior's face lost all color.

"Eh?" he took half a step back. "Master? Master-san? Jean? Wait, you wouldn't really use those on me, would you? For such a petty reason?"

A muscle jumped in Jean's jaw.

"Berserker, by the power of my Command Seal, I hereby order you to-

"Fine, fine!" her Servant flung up his arms in exasperation as they cleared the path to the church. "Kill all the fun. Put the fun in camps why don't you?! I won't do anything! Jeez...

Why did she feel like she'd just kicked an innocent puppy?

...although I make no promises for later events!"

 _Nevermind!_

She wanted to strangle him!

With a groan, the magus pinched the brow of her nose in a vain attempt to stave off an impending migraine. In the same vein she understood Naruto wasn't acting this way towards her out of spite; if anything her Servant was simply being lively. He didn't seem to understand why she was so angry with him in the first place, let alone hauling him off to Church first thing in the morning. It wasn't even the inquiries that had annoyed her in the first place rather, her lot in life. Such misfortune! She still couldn't believe she'd summoned such an unlikely Berserker as her ally in this War. A different one mind you-with his sanity apparently well in hand and several Noble Phantasms besides-but a Berserker still. One with seemingly no end of prana and a mouth to match.

After witnessing the sheer, overwhelming presence accompanying his summoning, well...

...she didn't want to see what set off his Madness Enhancement.

And now she was bringing him into an enclosed space.

Oh, this could only end poorly...

"Oi, Master."

"Hmm?"

"WHAT?!"

A finger thrust past her towards the church.

"We've got company, ya know."

Jean followed his gaze.

And froze.

Now, she was a monster specialized in combat, someone who removed the opposition without mercy. Yet in the shadow of this individual-this man-an icy shard of fear raced down her spine. A rough and fearsome-looking man awaited them near the entrance to the Church, and the sight of him momentarily brought Jean up short. His mere presence carried with it a thick stench of blood and gunpowder emanating from his entire body. Dark sunglasses concealed his eyes. Not so his wild brown hair. It spilled behind him in an unruly mane that he made no attempt to tame. He didn't flinch away from their approach. If anything, the sight of them seemed to intrigue him, and he turned openly to face them. Even if he hadn't, Jean would've recognized that distinctive scar on his visage. This face belonged to one of the few magi she genuinely respected, if not pitied for the strange hand fate had thrown him.

One she'd worked with before at that.

His was a face you didn't forget.

 _Kairi Sisigou._

"Yo." the gruff man raised a hand, a small smile plucking at his weathered features. "Long time no see, Jean. I heard you were part of the Red Faction too, but-

Then his gaze settled upon Naruto.

"So? This is your Servant?"

Jean expected a scene.

As such, she found herself almost pleasantly surprised when her normally recalcitrant Servant nudged past her. Blue eyes traveled up and down, sizing the formidable necromancer up from head to toe. Whatever he found there must've pleased him; because he barked out a laugh.

"Nice ta meetcha!" the blond beamed expressively, extending a hand. "The name's Naruto!"

 _'Why the hell did he just use his true name?!'_

Jean's head whipped around with such force that she nearly smacked herself in the face with her own ponytail.

"Berserker!"

"What?" the blond pouted. "We're on the same side, aren't we? 'Sides, he smells trustworthy."

"Berserker, huh?"

Sisigou actually blinked at that.

After a moment's consideration, he accepted Naruto's hand and shook it.

...hmm. This is honestly the first time I've had someone call me something like that."

"Ha?" a new voice intruded. "Whaddya mean, Master? He doesn't look like a Berserker to me."

A swirl of agitated prana heralded his Servant's arrival and releasing Sisigou, Naruto turned to face the newcomer.

"Ho?"

Unlike Berserker this one stood clad entirely in gleaming silver armor with crimson accents. From head to toe, not a single piece of skin could be seen by the naked eye. A fearsome helmet concealed their face; that horned facade regarding them with frightening dispassion. This was Saber, then. It had to be, Jean reasoned. No other class save that could be so magnificently adorned or exude such...majesty. Perhaps had she been able to see into her Servants mind, she would've seen the gears turning. Naruto, for one, immediately found himself fascinated by the armored warrior. That blank, featureless helm regarded them with a hint of annoyance.

So much so that he momentarily forsook his place by his Master's side and approached his fellow warrior.

"Are ya sure you're not Assassin?" they repeated, deadpanning. "Yer scrawny-looking. _Weak."_

In the corner of Jean's peripherals, Berserker stiffened imperceptibly at the slight.

"Oi, now." Sisigou sighed. "Saber. Don't go picking unnecessary fights."

Alas, his admonishment proved itself too little too late.

"But, Master-

"Kukukuku," Naruto laughed suddenly, drawing all eyes to him. Indeed, he cackled like an old man, concealing his mouth with a curled hand. "Saber, was it? That's funny, coming from one such as you."

Oh, no.

Jean knew that look.

That look meant nothing good!

"Eh?" the warrior tilted their head. "What's so funny?"

"You say I'm Assassin, yet _you're_ the one hiding her face." Naruto retorted, still chuckling. "I just find it funny. Are you that afraid of me, Saber-chan?"

Now it was Jean's turn to tilt her head.

 _'Chan?'_

Sisigou swore.

 _Shit._

Saber twitched, just so.

"Oi. Wanna say that again, bastard?"

"Oh, dear." Berserker replied with an impish grin, thumbing at his nose. "Did you not hear me, Saber- _chaaaaan~?"_ he let his syllables drag over the last word. "I may be an old man at heart, but my senses are still sharp." to drive the point home, he sniffed once for emphasis. "Whomever you are under that helmet of yers, you're definitely a girl. I don't know why you're trying to hide it, really. I've known plenty of strong women in my day and none of them concealed their identities. And yet you've made every effort to hide yours. Which means you have something you don't want anyone to see; yes, something to be ashamed of-

 _CRUNCH._

A muffled grunt heralded Naruto's abrupt departure from Jean's side; in the same instant a distant building imploded upon itself.

Throughout his little tirade the Saber of Red had continued to twitch with increasing frequency.

Within moments, she'd been outright quivering with rage.

No one had seen her move until just now.

Quiet suddenly, she'd snapped.

 _ **"THAT DOES IT!"**_

Before Jean's very eyes, Saber's menacing helmet inexplicably folded inward upon itself to reveal her concealed face. Aqua green eyes burned with fury, framed by flaxen hair bound back behind her head, and a full mouth set in a dangerous snarl. Jean had but a moment to behold the young woman's savage beauty before the now-unmasked warrior loosed a bestial snarl, gathered both legs beneath her, and _leaped._ The subsequent wave of pressure shattered the street and launched Saber forward at near explosive speeds, though admittedly far slower than her last punch had proven. As both Masters looked on in silent exasperation, a distant cloud of smoke heralded her own landing near where she'd launched him.

"Damn." Sisigou muttered. "Shoulda warned him about that."

Jean sweatdropped slightly. "Warned him about what?"

"Saber...isn't very fond of being called a girl."

A distant explosion echoed his words.

"Aren't you going to stop her?"

"Eh," the necromancer shrugged. "It'd be a waste of a Command Seal. She'll calm down soon enough. If your Berserker is half the servant I think he is, he'll be fine."

For a fleeting sliver of a second, Jean wondered if Saber had actually managed to kill Berserker with that attack. Indeed, she shivered at the thought. Anyone who wielded such power couldn't be called human. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Such was the unknowable existence that was as a Servant. A faint crackle of thunder followed by a distant streak of scarlet and gold told otherwise; as she looked on, a bolt of light arced across the sky like a thunderbolt thrown by Zeus himself, wild and arcing in its path.

Was this a Noble Phantasm, or...?

With a faint flicker of golden light, Berserker reappeared, his coat slightly singed, but otherwise relatively unharmed. A black eye and a red stain on his shoulder revealed where he'd been struck by Saber, yet even as she looked on, those wounds healed; as though time itslef were being undone.

"Oi, Maaaaaaaster~! I'd step back, if I were you!" he cat-called. "I'm pretty sure she's right behind me-oops!"

"Damn trickster! Hold STILL!"

Scarce had he spoken than Saber crashed down behind him, brandishing her bloodied blade like a lance.

"Hey, that last attack tickled!" Naruto grinned, idly dusting his coat down. "Wanna try again?"

He immediately ducked as she lobbed her blade at his head.

"Oi! Say that shit again!" Mordred snarled. "I dare ya!"

 _"Again."_ Berserker mimicked darkly. "I dare ya."

Snarling, the two blond's butted heads.

"You wanna go for real, whiskers?!"

"Bring it on, ponytail!"

"Fine by me!"

"Great!"

"HA!"

Naruto was already in motion by the time she struck out again.

"Careful! You'll poke an eye out~!"

Rather than twist out of the blade's path, he grabbed the edge of her weapon and heaved it toward the center of his body mass. A fraction of a second later and Mordred's momentum caught up with her arm, tugging her helplessly along behind it. Aqua eyes narrowed as she realized what he intended. The bastard was pulling her forward by the blade with the intent to slug her in the face, thereby forcing her to either release said hilt and strike out at him, or hold on tight and risk a debilitating blow. Well, she'd show him! See how the bastard liked a headbutt when he tried to yank her weapon out of her-

Wrong.

The Knight of Rebellion had time for a single startled yelp before Naruto _ignored her blade completely;_ forsaking defense andallowing the blade to bite deep into his stomach then emerge out his back in a grisly red spray. If Naruto was at all fazed by the towering blade jutting from his stomach, he did little to show it. With his free hand he lunged forward _-past her?!-_ and seized a fistful of her hair. Blue eyes burned before her vision-no, not blue she realized without mounting disbelief, they'd turned red when she wasn't looking and-

 _Ground._

Breath burst out of her lungs as Berserker whipped her face first into the earth by the hair. The sheer force of it ripped the air out of her lungs and she coughed, momentarily winded. Instead of finishing her off however, a booted foot filled her vision. Nudged her side. Rolled her over. A grunt echoed, punctuated by a wet squelching sound as her opponent tore her blade free. Moments later it clattered to the floor, just out of her reach. Even as she grasped at her blade, aqua eyes regarded the wound; that gaping hole staring down at Mordred in crimson relief. No, not a hole. To her dismay, the wound simply unwound itself, revealing healthy pink skin.

"Okay, okay! I get the point. Ha! Point! That's rich!"

Her boot caught him in the chest and he stumbled back, laughing.

"What are you, a zombie?" Mordred snarled. "How the hell're ya still standing, oi?!"

"Ah, just like a lover whose blood is boiling with passion!" a stark, cultured voice interjected before he could finish. "Yes, yes, yes! That's the way! Fight to your heart's content! This will make a fine prologue!"

All eyes, Master and Servant alike, turned toward this fesh voice.

"A horse!" they cried! "A horse! My kingdom for a horse!"

Groaning, Mordred clamored wearily upright.

In the end, Berserker beat her to it.

...who the hell are you?"

"Please, my lord! Your words break my heart! Continue as you were!"

Instead of another warrior, they found themselves staring at a foppishly dressed man. A bearded fellow, clad in extravagant clothes to match. With quill in hand, he hastily scrawled into a book, documenting everything, all that he saw and reproducing it as a grand play. He cared not a wit for the weapons leveled at him; indeed, he appeared ignorant to their very existence. In his mind, all that existed was the story. The pen. The play. A true tragedy was even now being slavishly written as all words must be wrought.

Mordred's eye twitched.

"Oi, who the hell gave you permission to write about us, you damned hack!"

"To write...Nay! How can you spout such drivel?! You wound me!" the man staggered back as though he'd been physically struck. "I am merely recording this grand tale as it unfolds! An affront to my works is an affront to myself, Shakespeare!"

Jean's eye twitched.

"This is...I don't even know how to respond to that. Why are you here?"

"To observe, of course!" the now-named Servant sketched an extravagant bow. "Such wit! Such drama! How could I, as Caster of Red, resist recording such an opportunity?! Please, continue as you were-URK?!"

A brick sailed out of Naruto's hand and collided with the poet's skull.

With that, the last of the tension drained out of the street and those inhabiting it.

"I think that's enough, don't you, Saber?" Sisigou sighed. "He's learned his lesson by now."

"Oi, Master! Whiskers started it!"

"Want me to finish it?"

"Why, you?!"

"We're on the same side," the necromancer drawled. "Don't go killing your allies."

"Berserker, the same applies to you," Jean quipped. "That's an order."

Naruto and Mordred exchanged a terse, angry glance.

For a moment, just a moment, Jean worried.

Then, to the dismay and disbelief of all parties present, both blond burst into laughter. Naruto extended a hand and this time, Mordred firmly grasped it. Hauling herself to her feet, the battered knight used his body as a pillar to stand. Upon doing so, she immediately slapped an armored hand against the ninja's unarmed back, staggering him. For his part, the Berserker laughed the blow off and returned her blade to her. Saber accepted it gladly, planting it tip first in the street for support.

"What the hell was that punch back there, whiskers?! That shit hurt!"

"I could say the same thing about that kick! You're crazy!"

"We've gotta do this shit again, later. No holding back!"

"You read my mind! Name the time and place!"

"That aside, how the hell are you alive?!"

"Well, I've got crazy regeneration...

"No kidding?! So, about Caster...

Berserker offered a grin.

"Well, we could...

As the unlikely allies continued their equally unlikely conversation, both their Masters could only gawp. Mere moments ago, Saber and Berserker had, for all intensive purposes, tried to kill one another. That they were now squabbling over the time and place of their rematch as well as trading friendly insults was a tad...disconcerting all things considered. An unstoppable force had met an immovable object and in the end, neither had yielded. Indeed, it seemed both parties were better off for their little spar besides!

In the end, Sisigou was the one to recovere his voice first.

"Wait...did...did they just become friends, now?"

Jean palmed her face in a fit of bleak dismay.

 _"He's an unlikely Berserker, after all."_

Sisigou shrugged.

"Might as well go in together, then."

With a grunt the scarred man turned and wrested the doors to the church open.

The sudden sound of rusted hinges immediately captured their attention.

"Oi, Berserker! Saber!" he called. "Stop tying up Caster. We're going!"

"Wait a minute!"

"Don't get ahead of us!"

A humble cathedral awaited them within, its candles unlit, its many pews empty. Before the altar a lone man knelt, his head bowed in benediction. Naruto clicked his tongue softly at the sight. Churches had never sat well with him, nor did the idea of a higher power. He'd fought one goddess already, he didn't relish the idea of charging headlong facing another. Less so the sight of the man clad in dark robes at the foot of the altar. With his back to him, he couldn't see his face, but that crop of unruly white hair stilled stirred something in him.

Anxiety.

"This is the designated place." Sisigou began roughly. "Were you the one who called us?"

Silently, the kneeling man rose.

Turned to face them.

"Greetings." he welcomed them with a small smile. "I am the supervisor of this war, Shiro Kotomine."

Humbly, the priest sketched a small bow towards each of them and shook their hands.

Towards one individual above all the others and the rest.

 _"Its a pleasure to finally meet you, Berserker of Red."_

Naruto eyed the extended hand with vague interest.

Almost imperceptibly, his gaze narrowed.

Looking back, he couldn't say what it was that made him distrust the Priest. Perhaps it was his smile. Maybe it had something to do with his eyes. It might even have been the hair. Who knew? Regardless of the case, he didn't believe the young man. Nor did he trust him. There was just an "air" about him, a curious aloofness behind his smile that reminded him of an old enemy he'd once fought in the past. This "priest" radiated the same sensation as that one. Ah, so this was what it felt like to experience fear again. He'd almost forgotten after all these years.

In the end, it saved both their lives.

...noted. We're leaving, Jean."

"Huh!? Wait a second-

 **A/N: Yeah, the confrontation with Lancer got pushed back to the next chapter. Note that I haven't named Lancer. That may or may not be deliberate. Though whether it will be the tried and true Vlad or someone else remains to be seen...and depends on you, the readers.**

 **And there we go. An older, more experienced Naruto summoned in his prime and youth. That is to say, at his peak. Furthermore, I know its obvious by now, but YEs** **Naruto's Master for this war is Jean Rum. I wasn't about to swipe Mordred's master from her. Those two jive too well together.** **Yes, Jean is an actual character in Apocrypha-but not well known.** **Go look her up on the Type Moon Wiki if you're at all confused.** **She wields the wind element and chakrams as her weapons, making her a capable magus of the Association.**

 **And there we have it.**

 **Naruto as Berserker of Red.**

 **I can easily see him being paired with Atalanta or Mordred so TELL ME WHO YOU WANT in a review. Hell, I'd even be down with a female iteration of Astolfo in this. That little trap's just too amusing to ignore...**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _"Whatcha doin'?"_

 _"Rrrngh?!"_

 _Berserker bolted to her feet and spun around, the motion scattering the flowers at her feet. Enemy!_

 _Destroy!_

 _Crush!_

 _Kill!_

 _"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! STOPU!" the Berserker of Red flung up his hands as she leveled her weapon._ _"I'm not here to fight today. I come bearing gifts!"_

 _...hrrngh?"  
_

 _Fran tilted her head._

 _A hand shot out, presenting a bouquet of flowers._

 _"For you!"_

* * *

 _"The two of you are more alike than you know."_

 _Atalanta's ears twitched._

 _"Berserker."_

 _"Hmm?" the blond stirred from his meditative crouch, a gold eye creaking open. "Need something?"_

 _...may I join you?"_

 _"Sure. Plenty of room."_

 _After a moments consideration, Archer claimed the space beside him._

* * *

 _"Oi! Don't pull my hair, Berserker!"_

 _"Aw, but your ponytail's just so fluffy! I can't resist! And yet you get so mad when anyone calls you a-_

 _Mordred growled._

 ** _"I WILL GUT YOU!"_**

* * *

 _"I'm never alone."_

 _Jean smiled softly._

 _"BANZAI, DATTEBAYO!"_

 _That was all Caster heard before a cackling Berserker dropped out of the sky and hammered him into the ground feet-first._

* * *

 _"Oh, hell no. I'm not killing a kid!"_

 _Jack blinked._

 _"Mommy?"_

 _"Eh...I'd prefer big brother, honestly."_

 _A wide, beatific smile blossomed on her face._

 _"...really? We've never had a big brother before."_

 **R &R~!**


	3. The Best Laid Plans

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **Here! Over NINE thousand words of blood, sweat and tears for you all!**

 **Ahem.**

 **Fighting a nasty bout of depression to write this, so there's that.**

 **But in other news...**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MANY REVIEWS~!**

 **MORE THAN TWO HUNDRED FOR TWO CHAPTERS!** **0_0**

 **Alright, lets get right into the meat of the matter, the issue that everyone wants.** **There is a LOT of debate on the eventual pairing. I hear all your concerns and am listening. I'll do my best not to let you all down.** **In that regard, please keep telling me what you all think, and enjoy watching the characters grow and evolve. Not sure how to feel about Sieg though. I mean, I was never attached to him like the others, but I don't want to kill the poor bastard just because of that...**

 **Which brings us to the next question:**

 **How do you all feel about other Naruto characters in this story?**

 **Mind you, I have no intention of copying RedhathackerSin's shtick in that regard. If _I_ do it, its gotta be unique and with different characters. Hashirama for example. Imagine the chaos if he was somehow summoned instead of another servant. Good lord, he'd give everyone a run for their money. Naruto included. Now, I'm not going to do it unless you guys and gals are on board. I don't want to flood this story with Naruto characters. That would sour the story, I think, and it blurs the lines a little too much.**

 **So let me know what you think in your reviews...**

 **...and get ready to smile.**

 **Furthermore, this chapter reveals some of the "restrictions" placed upon Naruto due to being summoned as Berserker class, rather than Assassin as he expected. Speaking of assassins, I'm taking a few minor liberties in regard to the summoning of Jack the Ripper, considering we never "see" the place she's been summoned at in any real detail.**

 **And let's face it, she got dealt a BAD hand in Apocrypha.**

 **Also, bit of word play regarding Sisigou and Saber's dialogue after they've left the church. Don't mind that!**

 **Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm going to say it right now...**

 **...Apocrypha girls can be fucking terrifying when they want to be.**

 _...impressive. might I ask your name?"_

 _"Uzumaki Naruto! Berserker of Red! Have at thee, Lancer!"_

 _~?_

 **The Best Laid Plans**

 _She had his scent._

It had taken her a fair amount of time-many an hour even-to track, but she'd finally succeeded here, in the late hours of the morning. Credit where it was due, Berserker had done well to elude her for so long. Against any other Servant he might've eliminated any and all traces of his presence. But she was above all things a huntress. A tracker without peer. No one could equal her in the art. For all his caution he'd failed to take into account the matter of his scent. Even now it lingered in the air, a heady scent of prana leading east, mixed with something she couldn't quite identify. No matter. With her speed, it was only a matter of time now.

She supposed it wasn't fair of her to use such a method to find him, yet she had no other recourse.

Shards of light burst through the clouds ahead of her and she avoided them, choosing to stay to the shade of the trees. The sanctity of the earth and soil. It was here that she was most at home, not sprinting about in the open or racing headlong through the sky. Unlike a pair of men she knew.

For someone who should have been a "Berserker", Naruto was very good when it came to concealing his presence.

At first, she'd nearly followed the second source.

Faint to be sure, but also him.

Another "clone" of his?

A challenge?

Somehow, the thrown gauntlet only made Atalanta all the more determined to succeed. If this were a race, then she wanted to be the one to triumph. To come out on top. To snatch victory, like the victory she had been so cruelly denied so long ago. She _would_ have the final say this time. Regardless of what Rider said. That damn fool of a man. Who did he think he was butting his nose into matters that didn't concern him? The thought irritated her with every leap, each stride only serving to further exasperate the huntress. She wouldn't put it past him to race her there just to annoy her.

He'd teased her of course, but this time there had been an edge to it.

 _"The two of you are more alike than you know."_

What did that mean?

More than that, Berserker's own words lingered.

 _"I want to help you achieve that dream."_

In the end, she'd set out for the city.

Towards that stronger, roaring presence.

Atalanta had many questions, and she suspected he held the answers.

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

 _The clone's journey was finally coming to an end._

With the incessant heat of the afternoon sun beating relentlessly down on its head, it was almost grateful.

It had traveled far across Romania; indeed, much further than one might expected of a simple kage bunshin. Leagues upon leagues spanned its journey, from Trifas to Sighisoara, then finally Bucharest. Burgeoned with far more chakra than its lesser brethren, the blond doppelganger had covered these great distances in a single day, uncaring of what-or who-saw, all in search of a single goal. Its mission was of paramount importance, and its severity could not be understated. The very outcome of the Holy Grail War might hinge on its actions here tonight. After all, this was the task assigned it by the original.

To wander.

To search.

 _To see._

This world was wonderful and wide and so very new; and they knew next to nothing about it. For a ninja, such a crippling lack of intelligence could easily prove fatal. But he wasn't here to gather intel on the enemy-though any sliver of information would be gladly welcomed-that task fell to another clone. His purpose was far more mundane by comparison, though no less vita. It was here to record potential fall back points, set up safehouses, observe then report back, and the like. This might be little more than a game for Naruto, but for his Master the risks were terribly, horribly real.

She only had one life, after all.

Any enemies it encountered were to be reasoned with of course-where was the fun in leaping into a fight unprepared?-but if it came to blows it had been given a very specific set of seals. Seals which would cause the rich chakra/prana in its veins to violently self-destruct and take the enemy with it. One might call it a suicide mission, but the clone was content with that. This was its purpose after all. If it perished in the outing then it would simply return to the original and be recreated again. Its thoughts, its memories, the very essence that made it "him" would live on in the original.

The clone was content with that.

At any rate, it had completed its task and surveyed the whole of Romania. Several fall back positions had been "marked" in case of an emergency. Stockpiles of food and water were safely stored underground or secreted away by hired hands. People were happy to follow orders, so long as they were being paid for their services. What did it matter where the coin came from? If it weren't for that damn _class penalty,_ the original would have simply summoned a small army and been done with it, but alas it was not to be.

This was they hand they'd been dealt by the Throne and they would just have to work around it.

Perhaps if they'd been summoned as Assassin, they'd be able to use Hiraishin more reliably. As it stood, his father's infamous jutsu was going to do him precious little good as Berserker. Any use he might have gotten out of it was negated by another annoying penalty. A single use would break each of the nine kunai he held. Sunder them, beyond all hope of repair. He'd had to be terribly selective about seeding them. One had been planted near the distant road in case of emergencies, but the others...

Frankly, it was more than a little annoying.

Indeed, the clone was preparing to dispel itself when a spike of prana caught its attention.

 _Help._

The word stabbed at him, twisting in his mind.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Did I get spotted or something?"

Like a sharp knife thrust through its gut, so too did the clone lurch to the side, its back slamming against a nearby wall. Almost painfully close in its proximity, the sudden swell of energy lit up his senses in a blazing storm of light, only to fail and fade just as quickly. As though someone had pulled the plug on an exceptionally powerful spell and left the remnants to gutter out and die. Or they'd been interrupted. Violently. Neither should have been impossible. Improbable, at the very least. The odds of someone summoning less than a block away were impossible. Absurd.

And yet...!

His body didn't hesitate.

Uncaring for the scene it made, the clone flung itself out of the alley and into broad daylight. A single leap carried him upward toward one of the taller buildings, bringing him within reach of what he sought. His good hand locked around a weather vane, using the momentum to swing himself upwards to safety, both feet alighting on a rusted fire escape. Ah. This was the place, then. Kicking off the metal rail, he propelled himself forward and through the nearest window he found. Bits of broken glass and metal lashed at his crossed arms as he crashed through, landing in a pointed crouch.

Hmm.

The room was larger than he thought.

A sprawling expanse with a towering bed to match, it reeked of luxury, the kind most would kill to attain in a single lifetime alone, never mind several. Gilded curtains twisted under his boots as he stood, crushing glass underfoot. Someone's workshop no doubt, and a rather gaudy one at that. Yet something was off. The scent of blood filled his nose when he inhaled, a coppery tang both everywhere, and yet nowhere. Lives had been taken here. Many of them. A tang of despair filled his lungs when he breathed, the bitter grudges of the slain and the departed assaulting his senses.

He'd expected to find the enemy waiting for him within, or a magus.

Someone or something _resembling_ a threat to his person, at the very least.

Not...this.

Instead he found bloodied walls alongside a man missing both his jaw and an arm, as well a woman with her guts torn out. A cursory glance confirmed that the former was still alive, if only just. Alas, the same could not be said for the woman. She'd gone down hard and lay sprawled over what he could only assume was a summoning apparatus of some sort; a circle carved using her own blood as an inscription. Strewn haphazardly over the floor, her innards hung about in grisly relief. Whomever she was, she hadn't died well. Had she managed to maim the other before she died? No, there was something else in here, rather, someone _...oh._

This time it wasn't the blood that made Naruto balk.

 _'Gah! Stop, stop, stop! Avert thine eyes!'_

Curled between them in the fetal position lay a bloodstained wisp of a girl...clad in attire _entirely_ too scandalous given her age. Despite all the original had seen and remembered in his many years, this easily exceeded the bounds of reason. Just what in blazes was she wearing?! What kind of Loli exposition was this?! Sputtering, he hastily wrapped his cloak around her shoulders without a second thought. A tiny, muffled whimper greeted his noble efforts and a small hand felt its way around his. As he looked on, a pair of faded golden eyes peeked out of the tented fabric, framed by a mess mop of ashen hair. Particles of fresh mana wafted from a deep wound in her thin frame in fading relief, vanishing into the air as she gazed up at him.

In that instant, he became frightfully aware of what she was.

She had no presence.

Not at all.

None.

 _Assassin!_

His hackles rose and the fingers of his right hand twisted into taut claws at his side, forming an edge harder than steel. A single twitch would drive that hand through her heart and end her life. At least, in theory. Maybe someone like Sasuke could've done that. Killed a child in cold blood. Without pause. With no remorse. But Naruto? He couldn't and his clone quickly came to the same conclusion. To strike at someone who looked so pitiful, so helpless...someone who'd done nothing to him...

"Oh, hell no." he muttered. "Sorry, boss. I can't do it. I'm not killing a kid."

Stirred by his words, the girl blinked up at him blearily.

"Mommy?"

 _Urk._

In his youth he'd been horribly awkward with children. Now? He was an old hand at it. Having great grandchildren did that to a man. Careful not to expose his flank, he crouched down beside the bloodied girl, ready to spring away if she attacked. She didn't _appear_ to have any weaponry on her person, but he'd learned that lesson well with Atalanta. Any Servant could someone their weapon in an instant. Even a dying one. He wasn't about to take her lightly. Pity her perhaps, and stay by her side until she died, of course, but underestimate her? Never. He'd seen too many friends nearly die to vindictive enemies on their last legs. If this little one tried anything, anything at all, she'd regret it. But until then...

"Hey, there." he hummed, stroking the small of her back. "What's your name, kiddo?"

...Jack." she rasped weakly. "I'm cold. I want to go where its warm."

"Where its warm?" Naruto blinked.

"Mhmm."

Her hands fisted around the lapels of his coat, tugging weakly at first but with surprising strength. Abruptly they pushed inward, seeking the skin beneath _. Sharp nails dug into his flesh. Eh? Wait, just a second there!_ Blue eyes took in their bloody surroundings and a ghastly pall of realization dawned on him. _Where its warm?!_ A flicker of danger warned him of her intent and he batted her questing palms away with firm gentleness. Servant or not, the strength of "Jack" was many tiers below his own and he overpowered her with ease. Something dangerous flickered in the wounded Servant's eyes and the sight of it made him clamp down hard on her wrists in spite of her struggle.

"No, no!" he admonished her, wagging a finger. "None of that. I'd like to keep my guts where they are."

She tilted her head at him in silent confusion.

 _"But I'm cold."_

"Then I'll warm you up another way. Here."

With a grunt he scooped the dangerous girl up in his arms and led her to the bed-not like that!-in a series of quick strides. Nimbly evading the worst of the gore, he plopped her down on the mattress and began to bundle her up in the low-hanging sheets. The rest he tore fee to create an impromptu cloak of sorts for the silent Servant. All the while, those golden eyes never left him. Berserker suspected she was watching him just as much as he was watching her; each waiting for the slightest sign of of hostility. If he knew she was a Servant, she likely knew the same about him.

"Jack, huh?" he hummed as he worked, as much to distract himself as her. "That sounds kinda familiar-

"Why don't you feel real?" she asked abruptly.

The clone tittered softly at her inquiry.

"Because I'm not. Just a clone."

 _"But you're Berserker."_

"Hmm?"

Her sudden statement elicited a slight pause in him, nothing more. With age came experience after all. He might be somewhat restrained in this form than he'd like, but with his youth restored none of that mattered. With his current level of strength he could fight for days without rest, and his own reserves of chakra were pleasantly topped off by his Master's bountiful supply of prana. Even he, a mere clone, could give any enemy a run for their money. In the unlikely even that things devolved into a battle between him and Assassin, he remained confident in his victory.

Of course, his pleasant smile reflected absolutely none of the inner machinations of his mind. Nope. Not at all.

"That's right." he supplied. "I'm Berserker, but you can call me Naruto. And you're Assassin, aren't you?"

"Mmm." her head bobbed in agreement. "I'm Jack. Jack the Ripper."

This time, the Throne supplied the rest.

Naruto hissed out a breath.

 _Jack the Ripper._

He'd just struck up a conversation-an acquaintance at the very least-with one of the most prolific serial killers in history. Might just be easier to let her disappear. Safer, certainly. Clearly _something_ had gone wrong during her summoning and she'd attacked her summoner. The sacrifice he'd used-potentially as a catalyst?-appeared to have perished during the ritual as well. Recently at that, judging by the warmth of her body. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume she was a sacrifice mean to empower the ritual. Clearly, Jack had taken issue with that and maimed her "Master" to the point where he would both be unable to speak or otherwise issue orders to her for the duration of the war. The thought made Naruto shake his head. It was pure chance that he'd even been in the area at all during her summoning. A few seconds later and he would've been gone, dispelled and sent back to the original without so much as a second thought for any of this.

The irony wasn't lost on him.

"Don't suppose you'd be down for a truce?" he posited, watching her carefully. If she was a Servant of Black...

"Sure. You're nice." her soft reply nearly floored him outright. "Are you sure you're not my mommy?"

Naruto's jaw nearly struck the floor.

 _'That was easy!'_

 _Urk._

"Eh...I'd prefer big brother, honestly." he admitted, recovering with a small shrug. "No matter which was you slice it, definitely not mother material."

'Kay."

Jack hopped off the bed, shaking off the sheets to expose herself. Idly, he noticed her wound was no longer visible. Strange. Did she have Independent Acton or had she simply healed? He was fairly certain she didn't. He knew full well _he_ had a passive healing skill thanks to that mark of his, but did that extend to those he considered allies? Perhaps it did. Regardless, he didn't have to worry about the girl fading away now. Of course, that still left the matter of her mangled master lying in the corner, slowly bleeding out. He supposed he could tend to the man's injuries and save his life, but regenerating a jaw? That would be-

...we can call you that?" Assassin lilted, commanding his attention, "We've never had a big brother before."

She touched a finger to her chin, considering the word, rolling it on her tongue.

"Hmm. Brother." she spoke slowly, frowning to herself. "Naruto-Onii-chan."

The blond in question bit back a small smile at her childish behavior.

Odd. Why was she referring to herself as we? Strange, that.

"First time for everything, I suppose. So, we good?"

A wide, beatific smile blossomed on her face.

"Yay! Onii-chan!"

With a startling burst of speed, Jackie slammed into him. The clone tensed, expecting an assault of some sort, only to realize his mistake. She hadn't attacked. Not in the least. _She was hugging him._ Crushing her face into his stomach, little arms squeezing his back for all she was worth. An old memory flicked through the annals of the clone's mind. Ah. He remembered being embraced like this before. First by his children-then grandchildren and great grandchildren thereafter. Old memories. Good memories.

A strange, warm feeling blossomed in his chest.

"There, there." he sighed, mussing her hair. "Good girl."

Jack hummed happily and nuzzled her head deeper into his cloak.

Presumptuous though it might be for one leading such a fleeting existence as this, the clone decided to take pity on Assassin. He knew a lost soul when he saw one and this girl...no, it wouldn't be a stretch to say she was several. Countless souls coalesced into one body with one mind, one purpose, one drive. The desire to live. He could understand that. Sympathize with it, even. What was wrong with living? It wasn't a sin to be alive, after all. What you _did_ with your life, well...that determined your worth in life. This one, Jack, he reminded himself, had been denied even that. She didn't need to rest. She needed a purpose. A reason to live. Pity he couldn't think to give her one.

Honestly he almost felt sorry for the poor thing; her luck was even worse than his...

"Here, Onii-chan." Jack piped up, distracting. "You can have these."

At first Naruto-the clone-didn't understand her.

"Wait a minute, what do you mean-

 _Until his hand roared in pain._

"What in blazes...?!"

He looked down.

Oh, hell.

In disbelief he gaped at the crimson mark now staining the back of his hand. Etched in the twisted shape of a dagger, pommel, hilt and blade. A strange, eldritch tattoo, in the shape he'd never seen before yet was terribly familiar with all the same. After all, he'd seen a similar mark on Jean's hand. He knew what it meant, but he didn't understand how. By rights, it should've been impossible. His eyes didn't deceive him. Though he squinted and scrubbed furiously at his face, the same mark remained. The mark, and all the power that came with it.

As he looked on it pulsed red.

Ordinarily a clone couldn't sustain any sort of real injury, but he had been reinforced with that very idea in mind. He could endure at least three life-threatening blows before the chakra comprising and sustaining his body evaporated. Theoretically, such an act would render him smoke. His experiences and memories would then be transferred to the original. The process of transferring _Command Seals_ to him hadn't been painful, but at the same time it'd put undue stress on his already failing body. Ordinarily, that wouldn't have bothered him, but unfortunately the damn spells had recognized him as a temporary being being and thus raced right through his link the Original and latched on for all they were worth. Sure enough, the clone experienced a beat of incredulous surprise from its creator. Damnit, he hadn't known she could do that!

Jack tilted her head.

...did I do something bad?"

The clone palmed his face, groaning.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong...

Yes, _yes_ she had! Terribly bad! Horribly bad!

The Original was going to utterly _murder_ him for this!

Never had the shadow clone been so thankful for his ability to dispel.

As far as it was concerned, this wasn't his problem anymore. Nope! Let him deal with it!

Pivoting to face the petite Assassin, the clone sighed and raised his freshly marked hand in command.

"Right then, Jack-chan. I need you to listen very carefully to what I'm about to say. By the power of this command spell I order you to...

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile, Leagues Away...)_

* * *

 _'They're not following.'_

"Seems like it."

Kairi Sisigou risked a wary glance over his shoulder and found himself somewhat relieved to find that his Servant had spoken true. Relieved, and moderately concerned. Neither that damn priest or his Servant had made any attempt to trail them after they'd gone and refused their offer of alliance, but he couldn't say the same of Jean with any certainty. After the grand scene Berserker had made back there, he expected Kotomine would likely retaliate against him and his Master sometime in the near future.

And that just wouldn't do.

Sisigou was admittedly rather fond of Jean; the woman took absolutely no nonsense from anyone and they'd worked well together in the past. She could be a bit of a recluse at times, but she took great pride in her work ethic and always saw a job through to the end. It just wasn't in her to make rash decisions without thinking things through, it was in part the reason she'd survived where others failed. If someone made the monumental mistake of riling her they faced long, exacting vengeance. A bibliophile though she might be, the woman packed a mean punch.

 _She was going to get herself killed in this war if she wasn't careful._

Berserker seemed skilled to be sure, but if that woman was who he thought she was...he'd be in for a bad time.

Still, Mordred had told him the truth, after all. Of course she had. Saber wasn't the sort to lie. It wasn't that she lacked the moral fiber to do so; rather, she was simply too proud to ever consider a deception. Even now her rough voice echoed through their bond, words buzzing about in his head like a swarm of irritated hornets as he left the church behind and entered alley.

"They haven't left the church?"

 _'Even an Assassin would have to materialize to attack.'_ she growled. _'I'm too good to let that happen. And that Berserker guy doesn't seem the type.'_

"Fair enough," he relented.

 _'Master, why wouldn't you work with them?'_

"You didn't want to, either." Sisigou pointed out.

 _'That was just a gut feeling.'_ Saber retorted petulantly, he could almost see her crossing her arms in a fit of righteous indignation. _'That Semiramis woman smelled like my mother. Women like that must never be trusted, not ever. Besides...that bitch was watching him.'_

"Watching who?"

 _'Ha? Whiskers, of course.'_

Sisigou nearly missed a step.

This was a trap. Yes. Definitely a trap. A landmine he absolutely refused to step on. To suggest otherwise meant doom. To even _imply_ that Saber was fond of the blond or experiencing such sentiment was just asking for a knuckle sandwich. No, he might even lose his life if his tongue slipped right now. Wisely, he chose to ignore her brief bout of jealousy and press on as if nothing had happened. Yes! Ignorance was the key! He'd seen what she had done to Shakespeare and that poor bastard was still _alive_. So long as he pretended nothing had transpired between the two of them, he would keep his head...maybe.

"Then it was the right decision." he amended. "I trust your intuition."

A beat of awkward silence passed between Master and Servant.

 _'Well, thanks. I'm glad my Master's not some boot-licking sucker. Ah! But not too glad. Medium glad-AHA!'_

Mordred manifested beside him in a swirl of mana, her abrupt arrival momentarily taking him back. As did her crazed grin. Without pause or preamble-nor an explanation-the Knight of Rebellion bounded straight past him and rounded the nearest corner at near impossible speed. Then she hit something. Or perhaps someone hit her. Tackled, more like.A startled grunt greeted Sisigou's ears, punctuated by a brief struggle as someone flung a rough curse and crashed into a wall. The ruckus almost made the old necromancers smile. Mordred must've bitten off more than she could chew; because she started squawking immediately.

"Oi! Don't pull my hair, Berserker! I'm sorry I jumped you, aright?!"

"Aw, but your ponytail's just so fluffy!" a familiar voice cooed. "I can't resist! And yet you get so mad when anyone calls you a-

Mordred growled.

 **"I WILL GUT YOU!"**

Berserker was waiting for Sisigou when he finally found them.

Indeed, he was treated to an almost comical sight. Somehow the whiskered warrior had managed to pin Saber against the ground, trapping both arms behind her back, and was now batting at her hair with his good hand while the other held her down. Probably best that he'd intervened. Mordred looked like she was about to bring the entire block down on their heads if he didn't get off her soo-oh, wait. As he approached Berserker grinned and clamored off the enraged knight, nimbly leaping onto an adjacent rooftop out of her reach before her blade found something...tender.

"Hey! Leave my bits alone, Saber! I need those, ya know!"

Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to stop Mordred.

"Get down here and I'll chop 'em, bastard!"

Berserker's body wriggled playfully.

"Ahh, scary! I don't wanna~!"

"Why ya little-

 _"Saber!"_

Mordred didn't quite flinch when Sisigou barked at her, but she did growl. For a fleeting moment, Sisigou wondered if she'd disobey. Berserker certainly excelled at getting under her skin. Tenuous friendship or no, she was looking more than a little irked.

"Oi, Master! That's not fair! He started it!"

"So did you by sneaking up on him." the necromancer admonished her. "Let it go. You can stick him full of holes if he does it again."

Mordred managed a murderous mewl.

"Promise?"

"EH?!" Berserker squawked from his precarious perch. "What are you, a sadist?! I'm not immortal! That'll kill me!"

"Tch." Saber folded both arms across her breastplate. "Fine, spoilsport. On one condition. I want clothes."

"Clothes?"

Naruto and Sisigou blinked as one.

...ha?"

"Don't give me that look! It's not my fault! I just can't stand walking around in my armor all day! It doesn't feel comfortable! So!" Mordred sulked, stomping a booted foot against the ground for emphasis. "Either man up and buy me something else to wear or I'll make ya use a command seal." the knight threatened. "Your choice, Master!"

...he really did have a troublesome servant.

"Fine, fine. Just put your sword away before someone sees."

With a pleased hum, the warrior knight did as she'd been commanded.

"Right, you can come down now, zombie! I promise I won't murder ya...yet."

"Always nice to see cooler heads prevail." Berserker snarked down at them, snapping off a faux salute before dropping back down off the roof to slide down the wall. "I'm glad you made it out of that place in one piece."

Sisigou heaved a silent sigh of relief.

These two...they just might be the most dangerous Servants in the entire war. If they ever fought seriously, their surroundings-as well as anyone unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire-would be utterly annihilated in the blink of an eye. In that aspect alone, it was critical to keep them from fighting in a populated area. Should they unleash their Noble Phantasms in broad daylight for everyone to see...well, that wasn't something the Association would be able to sweep under the rug easily. Yes, it was absolutely imperative he kept the peace between these two...

...even if it threatened to tear him apart.

"So why'd you run out of there like the anyway?" Mordred muttered, flushing. "Were ya scared or something?"

"No." a sour look flashed across his face, "I just don't trust that shitty priest. He reminds me of Uchiha Madara. So I got my Master the hell out of there."

Mordred tilted her head, a questing note in her tone.

"Madara?"

"Eh, someone who died a long time ago. No one you need to concern yourself with. Anyhow!" grinning, the blond berserker smacked a clenched fist into an open palm, "As much as I'd like to finish what we started back there, I'm here on official business this time around. Ahem." A pause followed as he coughed into a fist and shifted his weight to his right leg, allowing the true weight of his words to sink in. "To put it bluntly, my Master would like to request an alliance. With the two of you. Frankly, I'm all for it." his hand rose, palm offered in friendship. "Whaddya say?"

A beat of silence passed between the three of them.

"She probably wants information, considering you dragged her out of there in a huff before she learned anything." Sisigou amended with a small smile. "Regretting that now, aren't you?"

The blond's expression turned sheepish.

He made a pinching motion.

"Just a little~!"

 _"Ha?"_

Mordred growled aloud, suddenly peering the blond's outstretched intensely. When the blond didn't reply she seized his outstretched limb and hauled him close. For his part Berserker didn't resist, only uttering a soft noise of confusion when his fellow blond hauled off and grabbed him. Those aqua orbs weren't focused on his face. Indeed, it didn't exist to her in that moment. Her fierce gaze was focused firmly upon his extended hand with a laser-like intensity, ignoring all else. Sisigou followed his gaze and felt his heart still.

He knew those markings.

"Oi." frowning, Saber drew him closer still. "Since when did you have friggin' _Command Seals_ on your hand? Those weren't there back at the church!"

Naruto sighed.

"Bit of a story, there...ah fuck it. If we're going to be allies, we shouldn't keep secrets."

Turning his head to a vacant rooftop, he snapped his fingers.

"Jig's up, Jack! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

A faint breeze registered behind Sisigou's flank.

And then, quite suddenly, _she_ was there.

Mordred's loud squawk spoke for him.

 _"Where'd the chibi come from?!"_

* * *

 _(...One Brief Explanation Later...)_

* * *

"So that's the long and short of it. Say hello, Jackie."

"'ello!" Assassin waved happily.

Naruto drooped like a kicked puppy as Jean leveled a dark glower on his back. One didn't need telepathy to know she was put out with her Servant. Of course, she had every right to be. He'd gone off and done something incredibly foolish. Rather, his clone had. It could've easily backfired and wiped him out. That it hadn't was something of a miracle. He knew he should argue. Put up a fight at the very least. After all, he wasn't at fault here. Jack had been the one to transfer her command seals to him. Such a feat should have been impossible, and it _would_ have been had her master lived. Yet that didn't change the outcome. Besides, he simply didn't have the will to try and argue semantics with his allies. That was neither here nor there.

Actions have consequences.

One of those "consequences" was currently squeezing his hand for all she was worth.

Which was rather considerable, know that he thought about it.

"Onii-chan," she whispered, "I'm _really_ hungry."

"Hmm? Don't you have enough mana?"

Golden eyes gazed up at him.

"But I'm _hungry."_

As if to punctuate that statement, her stomach growled.

"Ah. Don't worry, I'll get you some hamburger or something before we head out, okay?"

"Yay!"

Having relocated to a more secluded location, they were relatively safe from prying eyes. Berserker didn't mind that. If they were going to have a gathering at all then it was best done in secret, away from the prying eyes of the Black Faction or those of a certain priest. With only one entrance, this location was relatively well guarded and had the added benefit of restoring their mana at a healthy rate. This was all well and good, considering he burned a fair bit of mana merely by supporting Jack's existence, and that was handicap enough on its own. Multiple bounded fields also prevented anyone from ambushing them.

 _But did it have to be a crypt?_

If there was one weakness he still hadn't parted with from his youth, it was his fear of ghosts. Graveyards just didn't sit well with him.

Judging by Mordred's sullen expression, she felt the same.

"In regards to the alliance," Jean made of a show of adjusting her glasses, "Do we have an accord?"

"I don't see why not." Sisigou shrugged. "You've been up front with us so far."

A flicker of torchlight momentarily rendered her glasses opaque.

"And the Grail?" she pressed.

 _'Geh. Scary woman..._

...we'll burn that bridge when we come to it."

"So we're in agreement that the zombie did the right thing?" Mordred chimed.

Naruto's head whipped around with such force that those nearby _felt_ his neck crack by proximity alone. A beat of silence passed between the two servants. Followed by another. The another still. Another. Just when Saber was beginning to wonder if she ought to take back those words her fellow blond _blitzed_ her. Not an attack, she realized too late. Seizing her in a crushing embrace, Berserker sighed in contentment and rougly nuzzled her face like a happy cat. A crimson flush all but crawled up the knight's neck, rapidly rising in her cheeks and flooding her face. His scent filled her nose when she breathed and for a moment, just a moment, she was taken back.

 _"Mordred!"_ he wailed! "I knew I liked you! You're alright!"

His words reactivated her in a rush.

"B-Baka! Get offa me! Now!"

With a demented smile, the rejuvenated blond spun away and hid behind his Master. For her part, Jean silently palmed her face and weathered Saber's glower as a flush burned her ears. This. This was her Servant. The one she was supposed to entrust her well-being to. Why had the gods forsaken her...?"

"Berserker, behave yourself. Now, Sisigou, what's this about the Ruler class?"

Grateful for the distraction, the Necromancer stood at attention.

"I'm afraid I don't know much about her beyond what I already mentioned," he explained, shaking his head. "If you're thinking of cultivating her as an ally, I wouldn't. She likely won't be around for long."

Naruto perked up.

"What makes you say that?"

...call it a feeling. That priest strikes me as the sort to meddle."

Naruto nodded slowly, absently thumbing his chin in quiet agreement.

"Noted. A fifteenth servant, huh? So when do we attack?" he inquired, drawing several startled looks. "Night? Night sounds good."

"We've stolen a Servant from the Black faction and now you want to assault their base of operations?" Sisigou sighed. "Won't that be like poking a hornet's nest?"

"I wouldn't call it an assault...

 _"Oi, what're ya doing?"_

As they looked on the blond simply sat down and tucked his legs beneath him, settling into a peaceful meditative crouch. If he was at all annoyed by the sudden scrutiny he did little to show it. He merely closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh...a long-suffering one as Jack immediately plopped down beside him and claimed the vacant space between his legs for herself. Well. This was somewhat...awkward. How was a man to focus when you had someone like her clinging to you? His exasperation was only sharpened by the quiet intentions he felt radiating from her.

Poor thing just wanted to be close to him.

"If Onii-chan's going, she puffed out her cheeks, "So am I~!"

The whiskered warrior shrugged in defeat, never once opening his eyes.

...see? Just think of it as aggressive expansion."

Mordred's smile bloomed.

"Ha! I like it!"

"We don't know if the rest of the Reds can be trusted." Naruto pointed out, turning his still-closed gaze from his crouch to peer at an equally excited Mordred. "I can vouch for at least one other person, but I don't have a reliable method of contacting her. And since my clone saw fit to use a Command Spell to summon Jack here, we have three servants instead of two. Saber, Berserker, Assassin." he flicked a finger to each of them, including himself, in turn. "All things considered, we're lucky. We have two front line fighters and a rear guard. Jean and Sisigou will stay here and provide support via Command Seals. It might be best if we had one more, but for a first assault I think the three of us will do...

Jack bristled in his lap.

 _"Four."_

All eyes save those of a certain blond turned toward the entrance.

Toward the faint sound of approaching footfalls.

Saber's blade snarled to life.

Naruto inhaled quietly.

"Aha."

Even with his eyes screwed firmly shut-concentrated on drawing the surprisingly resistant energy of this world-Naruto felt a small smile tug at his cheeks. Well! Seemed his ill-luck was finally taking a turn for the better at long last. Hell, he felt like grinning! He'd been hoping to contact her again, but he simply hadn't possessed a reliable means of doing so, beyond running her down. For her to willingly seek him out meant she either had an annoying large bone to pick with them, or her intentions were more noble. From what he knew of her legend he doubted it was the former. Likely the latter then.

Through his sixth sense, she blazed like a beacon of light.

Conflicted perhaps, yet also decisive.

Fascinating.

"Scary, scary." he hummed, tilting his head in her direction. "I didn't even sense you coming until just now. Remind me never to piss ya off...

Slowly, she stepped into the light.

 _...Atalanta."_

Mordred didn't lower her blade.

"The hell is she?"

"Archer of Red." Naruto chimed. "Ran into her a little while ago. Didn't think she'd actually come after me, though...

Atalanta's ears twitched.

In the end, she acknowledged none of them; neither Master nor Servant. Her head turned, taking in the dim surroundings of the crypt and the crude table they'd erected between the four of them. Emerald eyes narrowed upon the worm parchment there, reading the map at at a glance only to dismiss it as well. Finally, her piercing eyes locked onto him, pinning him with the single-mindedness of a hunter seeking their prey. There was fire in her eyes, hot yet tempered by restraint. Instead of the anger he'd expected there was only...confusion?

"Berserker."

"Hmm?" the blond stirred from his meditative crouch, a gold eye finally creaking open. "Need something?"

Curiously he felt her gaze settle not on him, but rather, Jack.

When next she spoke, her voice almost faltered.

"Who...who is that child in your lap?"

Everything clicked into place.

"I'm Jack. Who're you?"

Perhaps pleased to be acknowledged by someone other than her precious person, Jack rose from the blond's legs to bar the huntress's path. At least, he assumed she was pleased. Her once expressive face had shut down, replaced by a steely look he'd not seen from her before. In that instant "Jack" didn't exist. She became Jack the Ripper. No, not pleased, he realized. Wary. Alert. Cautious. Ready to slice up into Atalanta if she so much as twitched the wrong way. Surely Atalanta must've sensed that she was a Servant too, yet she made no move to defend herself, even as the petite girl conjured a dagger.

Instead, Archer's visage was a riot of emotion.

Disbelief, confusion, joy, and a hint of fear. All these flickering feelings and more danced across her face, there one moment and gone the next. Naruto read them all like an open book. As if she couldn't decide whether to unleash her bow-disastrous as such a close quarters battle would be-or turn tail and run. Something had her spooked, and he suspected he knew what it was. Still, he held his silence. If he spoke now he might easily send the volatile Archer over the edge and who knew where that would lead...?

"You are the Assassin of Black. Tell me, why are you with Berserker?" she inquired bluntly, staring at her. "What is he to you?"

"Oi," Mordred growled, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing ignoring the rest of...?!"

Without so much as a glance, Atalanta loosed three arrows into the wall opposite her.

"Be silent, Saber." she replied in a dead voice. "This doesn't involve you."

Once those harrowing orbs found Jack the Ripper.

This time, Jack gave her reply gladly.

"Onii-chan saved me." she answered, beaming with all the innocence and guilelessness such as only a broken child could possess. "He heard my voice when no one else would. He wrapped me in blankets when I was cold and told me I was safe. He promised to feed me and take care of me. I...he's important."

It was like flipping a switch.

"Ah."

Atalanta's hand descended for a second time-not to attack, but to ruffle Assassin's ashen hair. This time, there could be no mistake the blissful expression on the girl's face. Beaming, she leaned into the outstretched palm and hummed softly. Then Archer was past her, nimbly skirting the small Servant in favor of her Master. Naruto made no effort to rise; indeed, he remained right where he was, meditating in spite of the danger. If attacked in this position he risked suffering a fatal wound before he could defend himself. Even then he didn't move.

Had he known her thoughts, he might've.

Through this single act alone, he'd unknowingly endeared himself to the nimble huntress more than any mortal before him. Beyond that, his actions warmed her heart. Not enough for her to consider breaking "that" sacred vow, but enough to thaw the ice between them. Closer than before. In this alone, this simple act of kindness would become a catalyst that led to something extraordinary. A miracle beyond miracles, that act of defiance in which one turned their back on the heavens and another forsook the gods themselves. But for now...

Neither knew.

...may I join you?"

Naruto merely sighed.

"Eh, sure. Plenty of room."

After a moments consideration, Archer claimed the space beside him.

"I take it you have a plan to assault the Black Faction's stronghold?" she posited after a long moment.

Naruto frowned.

"Well, we do, but-

"Then I shall join you."

It wasn't a question, but a command.

A beat of uneasy silence passed between the uneasy party.

Jean and Sisigou had held their tongues until this moment, fearing the worst and trusting the Servants to handle it. Now that they had diffused the tension, they found themselves at something of an impasse. For another Servant to simply waltz in and join forces with another out of the blue...it was unheard of. That Atalanta of the Red Faction had just done so _without_ her master utterly baffled them. Jack, for her part, was content to stay silent so long as her "Onii-chan" continued patting her head like that. And Mordred...well...

"Did you seriously just-

Saber opened her mouth to argue-

A crackle of awareness interrupted her.

 _'Of course! One of the damn knives goes off now!'_

"Change of plans, guys. I'll be going on ahead. See ya in Trifas~!"

With a laugh Naruto vanished, leaving a broken kunai behind in his wake.

The last he heard of them was an exasperated growl belonging to said huntress.

 _"Not again!"_

Then they were gone; the world lurching and twisting around him in a swirling vortex; flashes of gold and red interposing with silver as he surrendered to the pull of the technique. In this form it was very much a one-way jutsu, allowing for him to travel great distances at speed, but at the cost of not being able to return so lightly. This kunai in particular had been the one he'd planted near the highway. That it had triggered meant one of two things; someone had either attempted to remove it, or it had detected a threat against a third party. It was the latter that worried him. He'd never mastered Hiraishin, and in this limited capacity it was very much a double-edged sword.

If there was a Ruler in this war, and if she'd been attacked...

Unfortunately, he neglected a vital component in this.

The nine kunai could be moved. Flung or thrown.

Such as an explosion rendering it airborne.

And now, by that very definition...him.

Reality rushed back with a dull roar, and a world's worth of momentum came with it. Fire flickered in his vision, forcing him to squint even as he plummeted to the earth. By the time his vision cleared he beheld a startled face that he hoped-prayed-wasn't the Ruler class Servant. By then it was already too late. He couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to. Not that it mattered anymore. Whomever had drawn nearest to that kunai was in for a world of hurt and several broken bones besides. He could make them pay for disturbing him, at the very least.

Even as he fell he saw them fighting.

Two figures waged war like never before, one a burning man, the other a woman with striking gold hair. That was all the information provided by his heightened senses at this distance. Judging by the woman's efforts, she was the one forced on the defensive, yet still she fought on despite her opponent's lance...wait. Lance? Yes, that was definitely a lance of some sort. Which made the other one Ruler.

Ah.

Good.

Well, that was easy.

 _"DYNAMICENTRYDATTEBAYO!"_

A pale face flashed before his vision.

This was all _Lancer of Red_ heard had time to see.

That brief, searing flash as something fell out of the sky.

A rigid leg, straight as an arrow; that booted foot swooping towards him in a searing hurricane.

Then a cackling Berserker drilled him headlong into the earth as though he'd been struck by the hand of an angry god.

 **A/N: JACK HAS BEEN SAVED AND ALL HELL IS ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE~!**

 **Stayed up really late to finish this, so I look forward to seeing your reviews in the morning!**

 **Yeah, had to push the Fran bit back this time due to time constraints. Again, let me know how you guys and gals feel about other Naruto characters being included in this. I don't want to just jam a ton of them in for no reason; I feel it should be tastefully done, or not at all. After all, I'm putting a lot of effort into this story and I don't want to ruin it for you all.**

 **Next time is Naruto vs Lancer!**

 **Ah, but who IS Lancer?**

 **Ready!**

 **Set!**

 **Go!**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _She shook him furiously._

 _"Why'd ya run off?!"  
_

 _"I~didn't~mean~to~!" Naruto groaned out between shakes._

* * *

 _"I do not understand you."  
_

 _"Nothing to understand, missy."_

 _Jeanne frowned over her shoulder at him._

 _"Why are you like this?"_

 _"Eh? Why am I like what?" Naruto posited. "You'll have to make more sense. Now, hold still..._

 _"You have an old soul, yet a young body." her frown deepened into a wince as he patiently continued wrapping her wound. "Ow! Not so tight, please. You claim to be a Berserker class, yet your sanity clearly remains. This should not be possible. You're an aberration. You shouldn't be here. So I ask you, why?"_

 _The young man shrugged._

 _"Just lucky, I suppose. I got a second chance to enjoy life." He paused, hands grazing her leg. "I don't really know why and frankly I don't care. There doesn't have to be a reason for everything, ya know. Look at you." he laughed, thumbing his nose. "You're alive again, same as me. I'd say that's a cause for celebration, right?"_

 _"Perhaps you speak the truth. Yet even so, I have a duty to-hmm?!"_

 _Her words trailed off in surprise as he kissed her forehead._

 _A cheeky smile greeted her blank, stunned silence._

 _Then came the blush, creeping up her neck._

 _"W-W-W-Whatever was that for?!"_

 _...you need to loosen up."_

* * *

 _Inhaling calmly, he began to draw power-_

 _The world screamed at him._

 ** _"Kill you!"_**

* * *

 _Mordred pivoted in place._

 _Clad in physical clothes for the first time since he'd seen her, she actually cut a striking figure._

 _"Oi, how do I look?"_

 _"Like a gir-_

 ** _CRUNCH._**

* * *

 _"Choose."_

 _Naruto stiffened._

 _"What're you on about?"_

 _A grim smile answered him._

 _"Choose who lives and who dies."_

* * *

 _"Berserker! I order you to use your Noble Phantasm! Unleash your full power and destroy the enemy before you!"  
_

 _A tearing grin split his face._

 ** _"HAPPILY, MASTER!"_**

 _Saber swore._

 _"Oh, shi-_

 **R &R~!**


	4. Cry Havoc

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MANY REVIEWS~!**

 **MORE THAN THREE HUNDRED FOR THREE CHAPTERS!** **0_0**

 **Bloody internet was out; I would've had this up DAYS ago if not for that!**

 **Sorry for not updating for the last two months, my health issues reared their ugly heads again and put me out of commission for awhile. Alas, I haven't been able to make chapters as long as I'd like; which leads into the lack updates for this story; these chapters take a LOT longer to make, considering they're longer than most. I've sworn that three thousand words is going to be the absolute lowest limit regarding these chapters...**

 **...with the upward being around twenty thousand words.**

 **Suffice it to say, I've been a very busy boy, and I've got a lot of this written out already. It just isn't ready yet. I wanted to include a lot of stuff here, so I hope it lived up to expectations.**

 **I've already written out the endgame, now its just a matter of getting there.**

 **On another note, I've gone back and modified the ending of last chapter. Nothing major, just turned that last attack into a Dynamic Entry. Really, I thought it was fitting given what we know of Naruto; he'd happily dropkick an enemy if it suited him.**

 **Hope ya like it!**

 **Time has passed and I've heard your words and votes. Not going to throw Naruto characters in...and if I do, it'll be unexpected ones. I've also listened intently to everyone's thoughts about Sieg and what should be done with the poor little homonculus. Don't think for a SECOND I've forgotten about Astolfo or Fran.** **Neither had the chance to shine last chapter considering its length and, seeing as it was mostly devoted to the Servants of Red-and Jack-but that's about to change.**

 **Fighting a nasty bout of depression to write this, so there's that.**

 **But in other news...**

 **Gonna say it right now, Ruler is NOT prepared for the madness that is Naruto. No one is!**

 **Furthermore, its been proven that Fran is wicked smart. She just doesn't speak.**

 **When she does, I've found its almost like a child acting out, ya know?**

 **And yes, I may have trolled people in regards to Lancer.**

 **Now that we've gotten that out of the way...**

 **...shall we begin~?**

 **One last thing, JoJo reference is deliberate and obvious!**

 _"Listen to you! Life is meant to be LIVED, not bound by pointless rules and dogma!"_

 _~?_

 **Cry Havoc**

THWOOM.

 **...nrgh?"**

Frankenstein felt the explosion long before she saw it.

Like a distant rumble from far shores, so too did she feel the earth tremble beneath her feet as she picked a fresh bouquet of flowers. It was a very _nice_ explosion a small animistic part of her brain mused; the blast was very large, very loud, and more aptly _very bright._ Even at thisgreat distance one could see the mushroom rising out of what had once been the highway. A few moments later, a fresh burst of fire lit up the night. Ah. _Pretty._ The Berserker spared the distant battle a moment more of her attention before doggedly returning to her task at hand.

In her eyes, the fight didn't matter.

All the Servants of Black-bar one missing Assassin-were already assembled here, at the castle. Which meant the battle raging outside of the castle limits was of no consequence to her. If the Red faction wanted to fight amongst themselves _that_ badly it suited her just fine. Regardless of the victor, they would come sooner or later, and when they did-

A hand settled on her head, mussing her hair.

 _"Whatcha doooooiiiiin'?"_

 _ **"Rrrngh?!"**_

Berserker bolted to her feet and flailed her arms in spectacular fashion, the motion scattering the flowers in her hands and launching them into the air. An enemy?! _Here?!_ To her credit, her brief moment of panic endured all of an instant before sense reasserted itself. Then she spun around and putting the full weight of her body into a single swing, slammed her mace into her attacker's visage with all of her considerable might.

At least, that had been her intention.

White teeth flashed out at her in the dark.

"Now, now, that wasn't very nice! Can't have you dispelling me just yet."

Imagine her _surprise_ then, when a muffled grunt reached her ears and she found her assault stalled against an open palm. A lone crimson eye blazed back at her from the gloom, the other hidden behind the unwieldy bulk of her weapon. Clawed fingertips closed around the business end of the hefty mace and squeezed, buckling the hardened metal of her favored tool. Trapped-caught in mid-swing-a flicker of surprise flitted across her expressionless visage. One of the weaker servants she might well be, but she still possessed superhuman strength; more than render anyone she disliked into little more than stain.

The enemy had just stopped that very strike.

With one hand.

 _Servant._

Desperate thoughts skittered through her broken mind as she struggled against the intruder, to no avail. For all her might Frankenstein found herself forced back one step, then another. And another. Yet another still. Though the other remained concealed behind his back, though sparks skittered from her weapon and into his flesh, though she strained against him with all her might, her opponent remained utterly unfazed. No, if Berserer had to give voice to his response-though she was loathe to do so-she'd say he looked almost...

 _...happy?_

"Right, then. Let's move this thing so I can talk."

Shunting her weapon down and to the right, the blond slammed a booted foot against the mace, trapping it with his foot against the soil. In disbelief she tugged at it, struggling to free her cherished tool-to no avail. As though it had well and truly become one with the garden, so too did she find it impossible to move her mace. What sorcery was this?! He couldn't possibly be this strong...could he? Frantic, a fresh surge of current coursed through her weapon and into the iron-shod shoe holding her at bay.

Instinct ground against her.

Destroy!

Crush!

Kill!

Her opponent merely laughed.

"Sorry, I'm practically immune to lightning after all those spars with Sasuke back in the day!" leaning over her entrapped weapon, he flashed her a sunny smile. Anyhow! Nice to finally meet you, fellow Berserker!" he grinned at her with half-lidded eyes, extending his now-freed hand in what she could only assume to be a gesture of peace. "I'm Berserker! Wait, no." the blond paused thumbing his chin. "That came out wrong. I mean, I _am_ Berserker this time around but you're clearly _also_ Berserker, and _ohgodthisisgonnabeconfusinginnit_ -

A wordless hiss was her sole response.

"Oi, don't give me the silent treatment." her attacker groused. "I _know_ you can talk, Frankenstein!"

A muscle jumped in her jaw and she saw red.

 _ **"BER~SER~KER~!"**_

A finger thrust itself in her face i brazen defiance of her rage.

"AHA! Knew it! I rest my case, madam!"

She nipped at the outstretched digit until he withdrew it.

"Okay, okay! Berserker. I know you can talk a _little_ despite the madness enhancement, so why-

 **"KILL YOU!"**

 _"ShitthatswhyDOWNgirl!"_

A low growl rose in her throat as the redhead tugged on her mace anew-again, for all the good it did her. She may as well have been a child beating her fists against a boulder. When her weapon still refused to be dislodged, she channeled nearly all the prana she had remaining into her mace. Under most circumstances, this wouldn't have availed her much. But in her fit of rage, she made the mistake of overcharging her treasured tool in a frantic attempt to dislodge him. With a deafening roar, Blasted Tree howled to life beneath his boot, its perpetual engine threatening to engulf them both-

For the first time since they'd met, Naruto's _pleasant-what?!-_ face lost its lazy smile.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! STOPU!" cast in the pale glow of her ultimate attack, Berserker of Red flung up his hands. "Don't waste your noble phantasm on me! You'll wipe yourself out! I'm just a clone! I'm here to scout, not fight! Besides, I come bearing gifts!"

 **...hrrngh?"**

Fran tilted her head.

The wrathful aura abated somewhat.

"Sheesh, what is with Servants in this war _...here!"_

Stabbing a hand behind his back, the blond muttered crossly to himself as he unfurled the heavy scroll between his shoulders. Much to Fran's chagrin, he showed none of the fear he'd displayed earlier; rather he appeared wholly intent on withdrawing an item hidden within the strange material. His hidden hand shot out, presenting her a bouquet of immaculately picked-if a tad crumpled by the ordeal-flowers in full view of her hidden gaze. A slow blink followed as she beheld them, long and ponderous.

After a tense moment Fran reluctantly accepted them.

Bringing them to her face, she inhaled.

Sweet. Almost cloyingly so.

 **...hmph."**

With that he removed his foot from her mace and skipped back half a step.

"See!" Naruto chirped, watching her heft her mace. "I'm harmless. Really, I just came her to scout and lay the occasional prank...but when I saw ya, I couldn't help myself. You looked lonely, hence the flowers. So!"

Tucking his knees beneath him, the blond dropped to the floor and sat.

"Wanna talk?"

Oddly enough, Frankenstein found herself reminded of a large dog she'd once glimpse in her the early days of her life. For all its bark, at the end of the day it had been a simple creature, happy and eager to please. Had the blond possessed a tail, she suspected it would've been wagging much like that loyal mutt. Though a part of her bristled at the idea, the rest of her longed for companionship. Master meant well of course, but he couldn't truly understand the aching pang of loneliness that encompassed her existence and accompanied her every waking moment. More importantly, he wasn't here, and she couldn't fault him for that. He, at least, knew the release of sleep. She did not...

...thus, surely a little chat wouldn't be so bad?

After a moment's consideration, Berserker sat beside him, the act causing her wedding dress to bloom around her like a white lily.

 **...talk."** she ground out through gritted teeth.

"I believe the lady should go first...

 **"HRRNGH?!"**

...or not." he placated, raising his hands.

Naruto must've understood that much, for a chuckle followed.

"So?" he inquired. "What do _you_ want from this war? Gotta be something, right? You wouldn't have answered the summoning otherwise."

Frankenstein returned her gaze to the picked flowers in her hands, absently squeezing them.

"Too personal? Sorry, shouldn't have asked ya-

 **...partner."** she struggled with the word.

"Oh! I get it. That's not a bad wish."

A low grunt answered him.

"Nooooooononono!" much to her chagrin, the whiskered warrior didn't fault her decision. It would've been easier if he had. "I like to think there's somebody for everybody, ya know? Take my Master for instance." thumbing his chin, he cast the scattered field of flowers a nostalgic glance. "She reminds me of my wife in my last life. Sure, she's soft-spoken and gentle to those that know here, but _I_ know she'd sock me if I ever did something stupid in this war. Part of the reason why I intend to win it for her. I'm curious to see what she'll ask the Grail. Whatcha think of yours? Ya like him?"

The stilted silence proved deafening.

"Let me guess, that answer involves spoilers?"

Frankenstein leveled a flat, withering glare upon him.

"Jeez, you really _aren't_ going to give up the goose on that, are you?"

A slow shake of the head told him all he needed to know about that particular subject.

She did, however, point a finger at him.

"Ha? My wish? Don't have one!" again those pearly whites flashed out at her, this time in a genuinely boyish smile that had her heart skipping a beat. "I get to live again, and in a younger body to boot! To start over! Set out on a grand adventure! Meet new people! Its a regular man's romance! What more could I ask for?"

Fran's expression didn't waver; indeed, her baffled scowl only intensified.

If looks could kill, the blond would be a smoldering pile of ash.

"You wound me, madam! I'm not lying!"

 **...rrgh."**

"You know, I _could_ do something about that speech problem of yours." her fellow berserker flashed his marked palm at her. "Madness Enhancement isn't easy to circumvent, but it can be done if you have the right tools. Helps if you're mad yourself." sure enough, the strange shape on his palm seemed to writhe and twist before her eyes as she looked on. "Here. Hold still."

 _Bzzt._

A small pulse struck her throat before she could protest, earning him a dark look.

"Relax, it doesn't last long! It might cost me a bit of energy to make it permanent, but I'm sure my Master wouldn't mind too much...

 **...why?"** her voice emerged, harsh and grating to her own ears.

Naruto snorted.

"Let me ask you this, why not?" he replied, resting his chin on a palm. "I like helping people. Kinda my thing if you hadn't noticed. Its in my legend and everything. "

She hated it.

 _"But I didn't ask...!"_

Didn't want to speak to him.

Words threatened to burst out of her, and with them, all the pain of her past. Don't talk. Don't speak. She hated it. Feared the own sound of her words. Somewhere in the back of her mind a key turned, and for a fleeting handful of seconds, her mind opened and she found herself able to think coherently. Icy fingers of dread trailed down her spine and with an effort, she mastered both them, and her sudden sense of self. Ugh. If this was what it meant to be sane she'd happily sink back into blissful madness...

Fran chewed her lip and shook her head, tucking her knees into her chest.

 _"I...can't. Please don't...don't leave me like this..._

"Hey, you don't have to decide now." the scout soothed, patting her shoulder. "Like I said, its only temporary. Just know the offer's on the table if you ever change your mind." those piercing blue eyes seemed to regard her for a long moment, silently taking her measure before coming to a decision. "Ah, fuck it." he decided at last, "What would you say to a ceasefire? I don't attack you, you don't attack me. Sound good?"

Fran cocked her head, her bangs swaying just so to reveal a golden iris.

 _...what?"_

"Well, you seem like an upstanding person, and you actually listened to me." Naruto pointed out. "Caster and Archer tried to skewer me before I even _saw_ them in the castle, so they can fuck right off. Lancer seems like a stuck up bugger. Haven't seen Rider or Saber yet, but I doubt they'll listen to reason unless I tie them down, and that'd take way too much energy. Ergo...

A finger poked her horn.

 _...you're it."_

Merficully, when she opened her mouth, wordless gibberish emerged. Whatever fleeting remedy he'd inflicted upon her had run its course.

Even then, Berserker of Red ferreted out her intent and bobbed his head in agreement.

"What, you want to know _that?_ How did I get up here?" he posited, holding up a finger. "Well, I had to sneak into the castle the old fashioned way, scale the wall and everything. Even had to knock out a few homonculus on the way. I'm pretty sure I tripped all manner of alarms. Also, I _may_ have nailed your Lancer with a stink bomb a few minutes before I ran into you, so he's gonna be-

 _"There you are, fiend!"_

As if to punctuate that very statement, a hail of stakes descended from on high and skewered the doppelganger from head to toe. The act was so sharp and sudden that Frankenstein found herself jerking backwards out of shock. But rather than bleed, the doppelganger merely boomed out a laugh. Though his body now resembled little more than a human pincushion, the clone still retained the wherewithal to face the battlements and snap off a smart, one-fingered salute towards his would-be-killer.

"Nice try, Lancer! Better luck next time! See ya later, Fran!"

The clone flashed her a thumbs up and vanished in a plume of smoke...

...leaving the gleaming horde of memories it had accumulated to return to the original.

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

 _Jeanne d'Arc_ _had bore witness to many strange phenomena in her day._

Saint of Orleans though she may well be, she was no stranger to war and its trappings; indeed, one might call her a veteran of such an affair. She'd long since learned to harden her heart both in and out of combat; to accept wounding others as a necessary-if painful-evil of battle. Sometimes conflict could not be avoided-there were times when words failed and swords had to be drawn. As the impartial mediator between the two factions and the representative for the Great Holy Grail War, she knew she'd have to defend herself sooner or later, likely from other Servants. Some of whom might even assault her outright.

Finding herself under attack straight out the gate-let alone by Lancer of Red-wasn't something Jeanne had _predicted_ per se...

...but it was well within the range of her calculations.

Yet what followed _...that_ was new.

 _"Dynamic Entry!"_

Like a thunderclap from on high, a bolt of crimson tore through the clouds, momentarily giving light to the night. It was with a terrible foreboding that Ruler turned her gaze skyward, just in time to see someone-or something!-rocket out of the sky and deliver a blazing dropkick to Lancer's unprepared gut. Caught unawares, the Servant scarcely had time to grunt before his attacker's momentum caught up with them. A deafening explosion followed hot on the heels of the new arrival's landing; the sheer scope of which forced her to leap back just to escape the blast zone alone.

Ruler wondered if she'd finally lost her mind.

Yes, she reasoned surely she must have.

Nothing else made sense.

For someone-even a Servant to simply _fall out of the sky itself_ and crash headlong into her opponent was so absurd as to border on madness. She knew for a fact that she didn't possess EX-rank Luck; the likelihood of a warrior commencing an orbital drop on someone was so ludicrous as to be nonexistent. He'd appeared so suddenly that she nearly checked her Command Seals out of habit just to make certain she hadn't utilized one by mistake Hmm? Yes, they were still there. Although she retained the ability to summon a Servant of either faction to her side using such a seal, she certainly hadn't. So, where, or more aptly, who...

...had just come to her rescue?

 _"Aaaaaand_ he sticks the landing!" a boisterous voice split the night, booming with a poignant cackle. "Thank you! Thank you, baby! Thank-you-very-much! I'll be here all week, folks!"

Despite her gentle nature, Ruler could _feel_ the sweat-drop upon the back of her head.

...ha?"

"Now, _that_ was a Dynamic Entry!" the newcomer declared emphatically, still unseen. "Gai would've been proud!"

As Jeanne looked on in quiet consternation, a cloaked silhouette rose from the fog and smoke, gradually giving way to a brightly clad figure. A broad back emerged, bearing a crimson cloak and hefty scroll over its shoulders. Belatedly she realized the newcomer was facing in the opposite direction. Her disbelief intensified once she realized he'd actually had the gall to strike up a _pose_ of all things. One fist jutted skyward, a lone thumb flicked upward in approval as if he were awaiting a photograph. Blue eyes emerged, framed by whiskered cheeks and wild blond hair, a crazed smile that had seen all the evils of the world and returned unscathed.

Ah.

 _'I see, now.'_

That explained it.

She'd been saved by a hopeless idiot.

Because this was most emphatically a _Servant._

Still the question remained; was this one friend or foe?

Wait, this was no time for such unbecoming thoughts! Shaking herself mightily, Ruler seized her flag, mustered up the faltering scraps of her sanity and straightened her back. Untimely though the rescue might've been, she had no way of knowing if this...individual...would attack her on sight as Lancer had. At a glance he didn't _appear_ to possess a weapon of any kind, but then again, the lack of an armament could hardly be cause for relief. He could be this war's Saber for all she knew. Speaking of classes, she found it strange that she couldn't identify him.

Whomever he was, mana leaked from him like a broken sieve.

No, that wasn't quite it. It wasn't that he leaked prana, but rather, he couldn't seem to contain it. The mere act of breathing radiated energy; as though he were only just keeping himself in check. For all his laughter, she suspected the smile was little more than act; a facade put on to deter others. Her unique position in this war-and the information she'd been afforded from the grail-were suddenly of no service to her. Rather than recognizing the newcomer, she experienced a strange sense of unease. Doubly on guard then. Clearly the Servants of this War weren't afraid to attack her outright.

Alas, her curiosity won the day in the end:

"Um, excuse me, but who are...?"

 _Vwip._

The stranger moved with such speed that Jeanne could've sworn he teleported. There one moment and gone the next, she didn't notice him until he appeared before her. Strong hands clasped around her own and held faist, drawing a soft squeak of surprise from the maiden of Orleans. Not just the inhuman strength behind his grasp, but at the blazing blue eyes suddenly inches from her own. A fleeting heartbeat passed between the two blonds, broken only by the distant sound of rubble tumbling out of the crater that the latter had created.

"Red or Black?

"I...I beg your pardon?"

Jeanne blinked, a tad alarmed.

His expression hardened. "Red. Or. Black."

"N-Neither!" she sputtered out before he could attack.

A glimmer of understanding dawned in that hearstopping gaze.

"Oh, is that so? In that case, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Berserker of Red, at your service! And you are...?"

 _Oh heavens, where were her manners?_

"I am the judge of the Grail War, Jeanne D'Arc." she hedged, sketching a faint nod. "I thank thee for your assistance, Berserker."

The blond blinked, and the tension drained out of him.

"Oh! So _you're_ Ruler, then? Whew! Sorry about that back there!" at her petulant expression, he clapped his hands together in affirmation and awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "You have no idea what a _relief_ it is to hear that. Seriously. Would've been awkward if I saved someone from the Black Faction. In any case, you should probably step back because that bastard's probably going to get right back up any second now, and when he does he'll be pissed to all hell _-OHJEEZ!"_

A roaring burst of napalm barreled into the blond's back and catapulted him forward into the mud.

...that was a powerful shot." a low voice growled as the blond kicked himself upright. "You actually knocked me out for a second, there. It won't happen again."

"Er, blondie? Mind telling me who he is, then?"

For a moment, Jeanne nearly decided to hold her tongue. In the end, she thought better of it. Mad or not, Berserker _had_ come to her rescue, and he'd proven himself a pleasant enough sort. She wouldn't fight for him against Lancer-for that would violate her duties as mediator-but she wasn't opposed to obliging him that much at the very least.

"That," she began, turning her gaze towards the pale warrior climbing over the lip of the crater, "Would be Lancer of Red. The hero-god Karna, son of the sun god Surya."

 _"Eeeeeeeeeh?!"_

As she looked on, the blond's exuberant expression turned ashen.

"Wait, that's Karna? _The_ actual Karna?" his face soured, as though he'd taken a bite out of something incredibly foul. "Well bugger me, I wasn't expecting to fight another deity right off the bat! Kaguya was bad enough! You're telling me I dropped kicked him?!"

 _"You did."_

"I, ah...don't suppose you'd be willing to help me?"

Despite her best efforts, the ghost of a smile plucked at Jeanne's lips.

"I will not." she declared. "It is my duty to remain neutral in this war, not to _-behind you!"_

The cry burst out of her despite her best best attempts to stifle it. A harsh clang caught the whiskered warrior's attention and his arm snapped up a heartbeat later to ward off what would've been a mortal blow. Wincing at his charred sleeve, those wild eyes shot northward.

"Oi, oi, oi! Easy there, hothead! Don't suppose we could talk about this?!"

Rather than attack, Karna regarded him inquisitively.

"Do you mean to face me unarmed?"

Naruto's grin darkened.

"Unfortunately. I'm in a bit of a reduced state thanks to the circumstances of my summoning. _Tch."_ the blond shrugged eloquently, shaking himself like a wet dog. "Damn shame, too. I would've loved to tussle with you at my peak. Our battle would've been one for the ages. But for now? I don't have time to deal with you, so I'm gonna have to send you flying."

"Ho?" Karna divined, tilting his head. "You say that as if you possess enough power to hurt me."

"Something like that. I may not be the same class as you, but _...I've beaten a god before."_

The low resonating laugh that followed chilled Ruler to her bones and beyond.

Inhaling calmly, Berserker closed his eyes and began to draw power-

 _'Right then, gotta pull as much sage chakra as I can and-_

The world screamed at him.

 ** _"Kill you!"_**

As though a frozen hand forged from the very ice of hell had pierced his chest and gripped his heart, so too did Naruto feel himself freeze. The sudden rush of power he'd gathered slipped through his fingers like an unruly eel, leaving him on his knees and gasping for breath. In its place the furious voice of the world shrieked at him, clawing his thoughts to pieces-one that required all his willpower just to silence. Severing his tether with nature, he wiped a thick bead of sweat from his brow.

"Well, shit. Wonder what changed-GACK!"

With a yelp, he ducked under Karna's lance and kicked up with his heel.

Lancer's weapon descended in kind, roaring down on him with a low roar of flames.

Steel met flesh and neither yielded; rather, she realized, Berserker had somehow managed to catch Karna's golden weapon before it could tear him limb from limb. Impossible as it might seem, he stood his ground. Even now the taller of the two remained rooted, gripping that gleaming shaft of polished metal with a determined grimace. Ruler observed the struggle with a mildly concerned gaze, unyielding as the two warriors grappled with one another, neither gaining the advantage, though the two titans struggled.

"Are you a Servant of Black, then?" Karna inquired, bearing down on the blond Berserker. "In which case, you too must be after Ruler."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Naruto grunted. "but I'm Berserker of _Red,_ not Black."

A flicker of confusion gleamed in Lancer's steely gaze, quickly stifled.

...I see. Might I ask your name then, Berserker of Red?"

Crimson eyes blazed up at him teeming with rage.

"Uzumaki Naruto! Now, grit your teeth!"

"Grit my...?

Using Lancer's weapon as leverage, Naruto reeled him in like a hooked fish.

"RASENGAN!"

To Lancer's credit, he beheld the spiraling sphere and narrowly evaded it by wrenching his body to the side at the last. Berserker's arm shot past, the outstretched fingers clenching into a fist around the sphere. Not a heartbeat later found the limb severed neatly at the elbow...until quite suddenly, it didn't. Lancer's great weapon phased through an empty afterimage and immediately found itself entrapped a second time. A harsh squeeze stifled the snarling orb and arced upward, the limb bending at an impossible angle. Of course, Jeanne realized. It only stood to reason Berserker would have another ace up his sleeve.

She simply hadn't expected it to be so...simple.

 _"ORAORAORA!"_

Clenched knuckles thundered into Karna's unsuspecting visage from all angles as Jeanne looked on; a pounding percussion akin to the drums of a great hunt out for blood. Once. Twice. Thrice. Three successive blows hammered upright into the startled Servant's visage before he had the chance to recover, the fourth taking him hard on the chin and wrenching the pale warrior upright. Momentarily stunned by the strike, the deity nevertheless maintained his ironclad hold upon his weapon-for all the good it did him-only to find himself hauled in yet again. Perhaps, had he simply let go, he might've escaped what followed.

Alas, he did not.

Instead he chose to stand his ground.

To her dismay, comprehension dawned in those pale eyes.

"I see. So that's one of your Noble Phantasm, is it? Peerless physical speed and endurance! Very well then! I shall retaliate in kind! _Brahmastra Kunda-_

"See, that's the great thing about being a Berserker!" Naruto's voice interjected as flames split the heavens. Grinning, he cocked his arm back, eyes blazing red. "We don't fight fair! But more importantly!" Crimson light enshrouded his outstretched arm, sheathing it in a strange scarlet tether not-unlike that of some great bestial claw. No, more than that. A lariat, she realized, the word springing to her mind unbidden. Whatever it was, it leaped forward and crunched against Karna's half-prepared attack, barreling through it with ease.

Thar ruby arm crunched against Karna's face, bodily catapulting him into the sky.

 _...we cheat!"_

Rather than waste any more of his strength in a pointless struggle for control of the lance, Berserker forsook defense altogether _-this of course freed his dominant hand-_ and flung himself onto the offensive. With a roar the whiskered warrior snapped both arms back, wrapping them in that telltale crimson aura once more. Then he unleashed a torrent of blows upon his unprepared foe; hammering a series of rousing roundhouses into Lancer's side, solar plexus, lungs, throat, every open space he could find that wasn't protected by armor, and some that were.

Still Lancer didn't fall.

In time the warrior of sun regained his lost ground and struck back. As the sun rose, his spear became little more than a flicker of golden radiance, striking at impossible angles, seeming to bend and twist to lunge at Berserker's head. A strike to the arm, followed by an overhead smash, a lunging thrust piercing Naruto's side, all went unanswered. No, Jeanne realized. It wasn't that Berserker didn't retaliate, but rather, he couldn't. Though his blows shook the earth and his toxic aura lashed out with just as much ferocity, he continued to fall back. As if something were physically limiting, preventing him from utilizing his full might. What his _true_ Noble Phantasm sealed somehow...?

As such, it came as something of a surprise when the blond _blurred_ and alighted on a ruined portion of the highway.

A harsh stomp upturned still more of the ravaged road, upturning it to create a temporary pillar.

"Do you flee, Berserker?" Lancer challenged.

"Pretty much!" the blond shrugged back from his impromptu perch, "Look, I can't fight you properly as I am now; something I'm sure you've noticed. But I'm not all that keen on leaving you to attack Ruler either. Mind if we put this fight on hold until tomorrow?" he grinned. "I'll have "permission" by then and I'll gladly give you the fight of your life."

To his credit, Karna almost seemed to consider Naruto's proposal.

In the end, however, he shook his head.

"My Master's orders are absolute." as Ruler looked on, the pale warrior almost seemed to sag. "Out of respect, I will not give chase should you flee, but I have been commanded to take Ruler's head."

"Ah, that's a pity." Naruto sighed. "Well, then I have only one retort to that effect...

A flicker of movement danced in Lancer's peripherals.

 _...bite me."_

Jeanne started.

Again came that short, sharp, explosive burst of speed; this time rendering the pillar little more than crumbled asphalt. Had her eyes betrayed her, or did he glow just before he disappeared? Sure it must've been her imagination...no, when it faded she found Berserker had finally reached Lancer. A long hand thrust itself forward and slapped against Karna's exposed chest. Uncaring of the spear thrust clean through his stomach, Naruto flashed an impish grin up at his foe, laughed even, as that strange symbol blossomed against Lancer's visible skin.

 _"Have a nice flight!"_

In a subdued flicker of golden light, Lancer vanished, leaving Berserker behind with that gaping souvenir. Not even a lasting one at that; to Ruler's disbelief, the ragged gash in his back mended effortlessly; sucking that strange crimson aura back into Naruto's body from whence it came. Just what kind of body was that?

"I...you...what did you just do?!"

"HA!" heedless of her confusion the blond belted out a happy cry, collapsing onto his haunches in a fit of laughter. "Lets see how he likes that! I had to break another damn kunai just to send him away. Good thing, too. I can't use that trick easily." a small snicker fled from his lips as he covered his mouth with a scorched hand. "Ah, I wish I could see the look on his face! It'd be one for the scrapbook!"

Jeanne felt, rather than saw herself collapse.

All the tension had been drained away in an instant, leaving naught but hollow echoes behind.

"No worries." Naruto reassured her, climbing to his feet. "He's halfway across Trifas now. Should take him some time to come back...unless his Master wants to waste a Command Seal. In any case, I think we're out of danger for the time being.

"Ah. I see."

She tried to muster some semblance of propriety, only for her knees to buckle spectacularly. Ah. She'd nearly forgotten about her own battle and the exhaustion that came with it. Quick as you please, Berserker flitted back right to her side like a pale shade. Sure enough that piercing gaze found her right calf, where the armor had been scorched clean through. The flames of the sun were nothing to scoff at-even as she registered them, the pain came roaring back in a red tide, eliciting a wince from the holy maiden.

"Shit, you banged up your leg pretty badly." Naruto breathed, inspecting her wound.

Despite herself, she colored at his concern. "Its nothing, really."

"Nothing my ass," the warrior scoffed. "That's a bad burn."

"Rest assured, this will not impede my _-goodness!"_

A yelp burst out of her as he made her sit.

Wordlessly he tore off his right sleeve.

"Just hold still, will ya?"

A moment of awkward silence passed between the two blonds; broken only by the sound of fine cloth being wound into place. If Berserker had anything more to say, he did precious little to show it. Even as Jeanne looked on those crystal blue eyes never wavered from her injury. It was such a stark contrast from the crazed warrior she'd seen before that she didn't know what to make of it. She'd already said she wouldn't help him; so why go to such lengths for a mere injury as this? She couldn't turn into her astral form to be sure, but the wound would mend if left well enough alone.

Madness.

Utter madness.

Jeanne shook her head.

"I do not understand you."

"Nothing to understand, missy."

She frowned over her shoulder at him.

"Why are you like this?"

"Eh? Why am I like what?" Naruto posited cheekily. "You'll have to make more sense. Now, hold still...

"You have an old soul, yet a young body." her frown deepened into a wince as he patiently continued wrapping her wound. "Ow!" she admonished him when he bound the cloth a touch too tight. "Not so tight, please. In any case, you claim to be a Berserker class, yet your sanity clearly remains. This should not be possible. You're an aberration. You shouldn't be here. So I ask you, why?"

The young man shrugged.

"Just lucky, I suppose. I got a second chance to enjoy life." He paused, hands grazing her leg as he inspected his work. "I don't really know why and frankly I don't care. There doesn't have to be a reason for everything, ya know. Look at you." he laughed, thumbing his nose. "You're alive again, same as me. I'd say that's a cause for celebration, right?"

"Perhaps you speak the truth. Yet even so, I have a duty to-hmm?!"

Her words trailed off in surprise as he kissed her forehead.

A cheeky smile greeted her blank, stunned silence.

Then came the blush, creeping up her neck.

"W-W-W-W-Whatever was that for?!"

Blue eyes twinkled merrily at her.

...you need to loosen up."

With a grunt, he stood.

"You said you had business with the Red Faction, right? Care to join us?"

Jeanne's world spun in a maelstrom, a ship caught in a storm tossed sea. It was only with the utmost of efforts that she managed to right herself. Berserker-Naruto, she reminded herself-wasn't at all off-putting, he simply dragged others into his pace without any care for what they thought of him. If she didn't know better, she might've called it charisma, but she doubted the whiskered warrior was even aware he retained the skill. Lord above, if he'd possessed this kind of willpower now, what he must've been like when he was alive...?

"Oi, Zombie!"

She'd never been more grateful for an interruption in all of her second life.

Across the ruined road, a distant plume of dust burst into being on the horizon. Both blondes turned to regard it, one with confusion, the other consternation. Gradually it resolved itself into gleaming shape of a warrior clad in full plate-thus it couldn't possibly be Karna-running at them full sprint, charging even. Judging by Naruto's startled croak, he recognized them. Indeed, Jeanne found it almost amusing how quickly Berserker's once hale and healthy visage rendered itself a ghastly shade of white as she looked on. If she didn't know better, she'd say the whiskered warrior was-

"Spirits, she's gonna _kill_ me for leaving her out of this fight." Naruto groaned into his palms. Desperate, he rounded on her. "Oi, Ruler! Hide me!"

Ah, too little, too late.

"You had a fight and didn't tell me?!"

"Look, there's a reason I ran off, Saber-ACK?!"

Mordered landed with sound and fury, her descent all but splintering the ground underfoot. In a blink she had Berserker dead to rights as much as gravity. Seizing by the scruff of the neck as she began to jostle him wildly too and fro. As he'd said, and much to Jeanne's surprise, that terrifying helm folded back to reveal not the face of a man, but a woman instead. Said woman looked all of an instant from tearing Naruto's reason-and his head!-from his shoulders, justified or not.

"Will~you~stop~it~?!" he cried! "I'm getting dizzy!"

She shook him furiously instead.

"Why'd ya run off?!"

"I~didn't~mean~to~!" Naruto groaned/laughed out between shakes. "Mercy, m'lord!"

"Tch...THAT MAKES ME WANNA SHAKE YOU EVEN HARDER, ZOMBIE!"

Looking back on this, Jeanne couldn't help but wonder...

...what on earth had she gotten herself into?

 _It would prove to be a long morning._

 **A/N: There we go! Consider this an early Fourth of July present. And if you don't celebrate that, well, then a summer present!** **Aaaaaaand round one is over! Yes, this fight was short, considering he was just trying to draw Karna off. Consider this a draw. Lords knows what would've happened if Karna busted out Vasavi Shakti, but don't worry...**

 **They'll meet again.**

 **Yes, ALL the previews you've seen are coming, just not quite yet. I didn't want to squeeze too much into this chapter, you know? Ah, this was a treat to write! Fran and Jeanne each had their time to shine, Naruto and Karna fought like absolute beasts, and we've got the beginnings of a harem starting to form.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _Sieg blinked._

 _"Who...are you?"_

 _A cheeky grin answered him._

 _"Oh, my boy! You have no idea."_

 _"He really doesn't!" Astolfo chirruped, brandishing her lance._

* * *

 _"See, ordinarily you'd have me beat. But you forgot someone."_

 _Naruto turned a smotheringly smug smile on his foe._

 _"Ohhhhhh, Jackie-chaaaaaaan~?"_

 _"Mama?"_

 _Assassin tilted her head._

 _A lone finger turned._

 _"Sic 'em, please."_

 _She did._

* * *

 _"Oh, bugger."_

* * *

 _"Any last words, Zombie?"_

 _...in my defense, I am in no way shape or form responsible for this position-_

 _"CLARENT BLOOD ARTHUR!"_

* * *

 _"What'd I do?! I only said that side of you was cute-_

 _A trio of arrows thudded home beside his ear before he could finish._

 _"Well, shit." the blond gulped out. Don't suppose you'd accept an apology?"_

 _Atalanta knocked a quartet of fresh arrows to her supple bowstring and drew back._

 _"I'm going to give you a five second head-start, Naruto." she warned. "I suggest you take it."_

 _Honestly, if she hadn't been smiling he would've thought she genuinely intended to kill him! Crazy woman!_

 **R &R~!**


	5. A Venomous Overture

**A/N: Hello there, everyone!**

 **MORE THAN TWELVE THOUSAND WORDS FOR YOU ALL!**

 **Sorry this took so long to update, my internet's gone to pot way out here. It also seems the site came under attack by someone/or several someones, so we're all still experiencing issues. Hell, a lot of us were having trouble just saving our documents. Hopefully the admins hear about this and we can get everything back on track.**

 **So!**

 **I survived the surgery and now its onto recovery...and pain pills. Looooooooooots of pain pills. On the upside, they're helping me deal with my new scars. Downside is, they make me kind of loopy. Ah, but when one is loopy, one gets the best ideas, no?**

 **This one thinks so!**

 **REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MANY REVIEWS~!**

 **MORE THAN FOUR HUNDRED REVIEWS FOR FOUR CHAPTERS!** **0_0**

 **Seems I'm onto something here, no?**

 **Now, a lot of you have been asking about Semiramis and why Naruto REFUSED to so much as meet her and Shirou way back in the beginning. Now, this chapter goes into that a bit, among other things. Seeing as our boy is older and wiser this time around-albeit in a younger body-he's a bit cautious at times. Of course, he's a right ditz at others~! Regardless, he's lived a full life and gotten some serious training in as a result of said life. While his legend might be somewhat warped by rumors and hearsay...**

 **...well, lets just say he can be downright terrifying when wants to be. Its those who smile that you need to fear.**

 **Mind you, this is an old Naruto restored to the height of his prime, one who died of VERY old age.**

 **Yeah, he's a scary fucker when he wants to be, as Semiramis is about to learn the hard way.**

 **Also, saw Venom. Now that was a TRIP! Regardless of what the critics say, _I_ enjoyed it! ****Its also given me a new idea, but I'm going to hold onto it for now. That being said, I own no references or quotes within, they belong to their respective media.**

 **Lots of scheming in this chapter courtesy of a certain Assassin, hope that doesn't put you off.**

 **In that regard title is a deliberate pun there, of sorts.**

 **Now that we've gotten that out of the way...**

 **..Semiramis kinda stole the show here...**

 **...shall we continue~?**

 _"We all have our own problems, our own issues, our own...demons. Mine? He has a name. A face. Trust me-you don't want to see him."_

 _"Is this act meant to frighten me, Berserker? Because, I assure you, it doesn't."_

 _"It should, Assassin._ _You'd make a nice little snack for my friend."_

 _"Have we resorted to threats now? How quaint."_

 _"Fine, you as **ked for it...**_

 _~?_

 **A Venomous Overture**

Semiramis awoke.

 _That_ was somewhat concerning, given she didn't remember dozing off to begin with. As a high class Servant, sleep was a mere triviality for one such as her. A comfort perhaps, but unnecessary. Yet she'd still fallen into slumber all the same. Why? Her last coherent memory consisted of preparing her Hanging Gardens then...nothing. Long lashes fluttered open and shut in a vain attempt to blink the cobwebs away, only to squint against pale light from some unknown source. Her first inkling that something had gone terribly, _horribly_ wrong came in the form of an alarming stiffness in her limbs.

Irked by what she viewed as foolishness on her part, she attempted to rise.

Only _then_ did she become aware of the gag thrust into her mouth.

 _'What madness is this?!'_

With a snarl Assassin bolted upright; rather, she would have, were it not for the razor wires that bound her limbs. An alarming gap in her memory caused her to ponder when night had turned to day and back again, but it provided little solace; her mind found itself swaddled in cotton. Instead she found her world flung askew, strands of ebony wafting across her vision as she hung like a strung up turkey. Someone-or something-had gone to great pangs to hang her such, to leave her draped from the rafters by her feet, trussed up like a madwoman.

Groggy golden eyes flitted wildly about her surroundings, seeking escape, but found only four slate walls to greet her.

No, not quite, she realized.

Tethered by brass tacks to those ugly edifices, a series of thick candles provided a faint form of illumination to view her captivity; what she saw there only served to heighten her confusion.

Framed in their flickering light, Assassin grit her teeth.

Beyond the candles those walls were indeed bare as she'd initially surmised, but the room was not. Consisting of little more than a small room its layout was devoid of most amenities-even an exit-bar a single sleeping roll and a wooden table. Strewn atop its plain surface in careless disarray the curious glint of plastic caught her eye. At first she didn't rightly understand what she was looking at; the various foodstuffs sprawled across said table resembled little more than common junk food; instant ramen, bags of chips and the like. Craning her neck, the blackette hissed softly as the wires bit into her sides, drawing blood beneath her dress. It seemed her captors didn't care what she thought of them.

Needless to say, she was not amused.

"Please excuse the mess." A rough voice chimed. "Didn't have time to tidy the place up."

She was even less enthused by the sudden wind that swarmed the room, setting her wounds stinging.

In a heartbeat the candles found themselves snuffed out and shadow swallowed the world; sending Semiramis plunging into the black. When it finally returned she found herself face to face with pair of blazing blue orbs framed by a mangled mop of blond hair. With a flourish the owner of that visage tore the gag free from her mouth. Whiskered cheeks dimpled in a small, sly smile. Mere inches from her own, that cheery visage dangled there, awaiting her response. A muscle jumped in her jaw, pulsing wildly as that jester's grin gazed back at her. As she looked on a lazy hand rose, feigning a salute.

"Yo. Did you sleep well, O' deadly queen of Assyria?"

Indeed she recognized her captor immediately, though she'd only glimpsed him once from afar. Berserker of Red. His tattered crimson cloak seemed to shimmer in the ghastly light as gazed up at her, the otherwordly pulsing and thrumming as though it had a life of its own. There was a wild light to those eyes of his, a strange frenetic energy that set her nerves on edge. Pearly white teeth flashed in the gloom, exposing sharpened canine teeth. It is said that two warriors-or killers-can recognize one another at a glance if they have nothing to hide; in that instant Semiramis read the entirety history of his being.

That tore it.

"BER~SER~KER~!"

Some fell instinct bid Semiramis to rear back and bash her head against his with all her might. Thus, she did. The result was...satisfactory, all things considered. Given her close proximity she had a prime view of the blond's startled expression mere moments before her forehead crunched into his nose, rendering the orifice a fresh gout of blood in the air. An annoyed grunt greeted her ears even as her prison dug a fresh latticework of bloody lines against her pale skin, but in her fit of pique she paid her injuries no mind. Satisfaction spurred a spiteful smile to her lips.

"Heavens me! That looks painful. I'd expected better from someone known as Berserker."

Recoiling in pain, the warrior clutched at his face and hissed softly.

"Owowowow! What the hell was that for, Assassin?!"

"I should be asking you the same thing!"

A low rumble answered her.

"What's so funny?!"

"Everything, I suppose!" rather than whimper and curse her vitriol, the cloaked servant rewarded her with a laugh muffled against his palms. "Honestly, I never get tired of this trick." As she looked on his shoulders shook with silent mirth as he straightened before her, no longer doubling over in pain. "I'll grant you this; I probably _deserved_ that headbutt in the grand schemes of things, even if it was kinda pointless in the end. But if its any consolation, dear Assassin...

With a flourish the young man took a bloodied hand from his face, exposing hale and hearty skin in place of his once-ruined nose.

 _ **...that hurt like hell."**_

Too late, she realized her mistake.

 _'Instantaneous regeneration?! In such a short time? How did he-?!'_

In a mottled blur of golden crimson he was upon her, seizing her by the face, forcing her to meet his gaze. Cold eyes the color of dried blood regarded her between the slits of his fingers. In that moment she was suddenly all too aware of the strength behind those clenched digits. Mana thrummed in the air between them, poisoned violet vying against tainted crimson. Still the pain intensified, biting down against her flesh with painful clarity, like an iron trap slowly grinding shut across her fine features. For a terrifying instant she feared Berserker would simply increase the pressure-squeeze-and render her face a pulpy mess before she could skewer him with her chains.

By some twist of fate, he abstained and released her of his own accord.

"Hey, don't make that face!" those devilish eyes seemed to shimmer in the low light, boring into her very soul. "I didn't bring you here to kill you. Besides, I wouldn't be much of a Berserker if I let something like this keep me down. Now, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from doing that again, so don't bother using your magic." he amended sternly. "One more stunt like that without my say so and those wires will cut you to pieces. Of course," a hint of that eerie amusement from earlier slipped back into his smile as he plucked at a nearby wire. "I could just let you down if you promise to behave. Not as though you could teleport out of here without my say-so anyway."

"Oho?" despite the pain snarling its way down her spine, Semiramis felt a smile touch her lips. "You _are_ aware I could kill you without raising a finger, no?"

"You'll find I'm quite resistant to poison these days." his smile didn't waver in the least as she leered at him. "I invite you to try."

"My, aren't you bold."

Berserker didn't respond.

Instead he snapped _his_ fingers.

With a sibilant hiss the wires retracted from Assassin's body all at once, that deadly razor wire snapping like fine spider-silk.

A heartbeat of confusion slowed her thoughts, but only just.

Bereft of her bonds, the blackette briefly stumbled before catching herself upon one bent knee. A small smile tugged at her full lips but again Berserker didn't react to her suspiciously awkward landing; nor did he move to assist her. Even had he engaged in such foolish chivalry so he would have proven too slow. In the time it took for him to realize her intentions she'd already encircled him in chains and struck out at him, thrusting a spiked palm into the young man's stoic facade.

 _"You're full of openings!"_

It was a clean stab through and through, one Semiramis was rather proud of; by rights she'd given him no time to move, much less react. By all rights, it ought to have been a fatal one. Her attack had pierced his eye and struck the sensitive gray matter lurking behind it. With his arms and legs bound, he had no way of retaliating. Surely she must've inflicted critical damage, such that would would leave him writhing on the ground at her feet shortly. Foolish boy, thinking he stood a chance against one such as her-

 _Flick._

Thus it came as a _something of a surprise_ when the blond raised two fingers and poked her in the forehead. Startled by the force behind the seemingly benign gesture Semiramis found herself unprepared for the aftershock that followed; what should have been a simple prod against her skull instead slammed her back against the nearest wall, cratering the thick mortar with sound and aplomb. Breath burst from her lungs and once more she found herself slumped forward against her will, struggling for air that wouldn't come. Through ringing ears a distant peal of laughter reached her.

"Hey, I actually felt that one!" he croaked.

Almost against her will, Semiramis dared to look up.

Looking back, the queen of Assyria sorely wished she hadn't done so.

Berserker gazed back at her, uncaring of the gaping hole she'd ripped in his head. A lopsided grin stretched across his ruined face as he rolled his shoulders, shattering the metal links binding his torso into harmless shards of fractured mana. Seemingly ignorant of the visceral tear penetrating his right eye and the skull beyond. What little blood ran from the wound soon found itself staunched, as though someone had simply closed a pump somewhere in his body, ceasing the flow altogether.

"Well." she swallowed thickly. "That's not fair at all."

Rather than shrink, that dirge of a grin only grew ever wider.

"Pardon the pun, but I don't give a...no, that line's been done to death, hasn't it? You can't kill what you don't understand." the words emerged him as a soft hum and as she looked on, that same blue orb wound its way back into existence with a hiss of steam alongside the rest of his head. "Saber learned that lesson the hard way. Now, I've given you two free hits, so are you quite done?"

This wasn't working.

No, one might even call it a disaster.

She needed to escape this prison, to flee.

But in order to withdraw safely she'd require time; time to contact Shirou, time to find an opening in this ugly cage her enemy had crafted, time she simply didn't and _wouldn't_ have if she tried to attack Berserker again. Very well, then. If playing his game would avail her of the resources she needed...she'd entertain this fool of a jester.

For now.

...just do you want from me?"

"See! We _can_ be civil!" the young man chirruped happily, flashing a Cheshire grin as he pulled a chair out of the shadows for her. "As for what I want, well, that's simple. My apologies for the accommodations, but I _wanted_ to meet you under a more...controlled setting. One that didn't involve your Master looking over my shoulder eyeing my every move." a silent shudder shook his shoulders. "Seriously, right creepy bastard there. What _do_ you _see_ in him?"

Assassin's first instinct was to lash out at Berserker for the slight; to offer a waspish retort.

After a moment's consideration she reluctantly chose to hold withhold her barbed reply and claim her seat opposite him.

No, anger would not serve her here; it would only hasten her death knell. In close combat Berserker eclipsed anything she could throw at him. Speed, strength, durability, he clearly exceeded her in all these and more. Oh, she remained confident she could kill him given proper time and preparation, but not in these confined quarters. He would well landing a mortal blow before she finished him. There would be a reckoning for this, so she swore. Once she finished her Hanging Gardens this upstart would be in for a rude awakening indeed, but until that moment came...

Tact yet remained her greatest weapon here in this cage, one that must used with care.

Perhaps in doing so she'd somehow learn enough to use against her captor.

If that meant playing to his ego, then it was a role she knew well.

Hmmph. _Fool._ She'd have him wrapped around her finger.

Stifling a sly smirk, she leaned back in her chair.

"Is there's some bad blood between you?"

"Bad blood? No, not at all." Berserker supplied with an frigid smile, momentarily startling her with this sudden change in intensity. "Quite the contrary. I've never met Shirou Kotomine until I saw him in that church. Not once. He simply reminds me of someone...I'd rather forget. Yes, someone who caused a great deal of trouble for my world and those I loved." A mad look danced in her peripherals as he ground a clawed fist into an open palm. "Someone I have to grind into dust. An anomaly I _need_ to eradicate. Forgive me for being blunt, but I _will_ kill your Master if he's anything like "that man". I feel inclined to tell you that now before we continue our...discussion."

A beat of awkward silence passed between the two Servants.

"I see." she replied bluntly. "You're insane."

"Insane? Me? No, no, no! I prefer the term enlightened. You learn a few things when you've lived as long as I have." Just like that, this brief spark of anger was extinguished by the blond's enigmatic smile. "Now then!" Laughing, he brought his hands together in a sharp that caused her sensitive ears to vibrate painfully. "Onto business! See, I thought it was high time we had a chat. You and Rider were the only other servants of Red that I hadn't met, so I thought it best to start with you. I suspect the latter's going to wander in through my door eventually. So, where were we...ah!"

Pulling up a battered chair of his own from spirits knew where, her fellow Servant flopped down and leaned across the back.

A beat of silence passed between the two killers, broken only by the sound of their own own breathing.

The inquiry, when it came, nearly floored Semiramis outright.

"Your master sent Lancer after Ruler last night. Why?"

 _Deny it._

 _He grasps at straws._

 _He can't prove anything._

 _He seeks to drive a wedge between the two of you._

Semiramis nearly rebuffed him out of habit, but something in those ice blue eyes told her such a response would be received...poorly. Nothing in his posture suggested Naruto was prepared to attack should she disavow any knowledge of her Master's action, but still that glacial gaze pierced her and stilled her tongue. It was true that on some level she knew Shirou had sent Karna to take Ruler's head, just as she knew said attempt had been thwarted by someone. She hadn't given the matter much thought. Until now. Ah, of course. It made sense. Berserker must've intervened. His bravery would've been admirable, if it weren't so misguided.

In war, fools fell first.

Her expression must've been telling however, for his own remained set in stone.

...likely to remove her from the war." the words escaped her before she could think to drag them back. "Why does this concern you?"

"Hmm. So the shitty priest has something against her after all. Thought as much. Doesn't matter now, just wanted to confirm it. That shit stops now." with that, the whiskered warrior sighed and palmed his face. "After all, if we're going to play ball, I can't have you stabbing a potential ally in the back. Speaking of stabbing! We'll be assaulting the Black Faction later tonight." he informed her primly, laying his chin 'cross folded arms. "Since we're "technically" on the same team, I thought it best to tell you. Coordination, and all that."

A delicate brow rose.

 _"We?"_

"Yes, we." his expression didn't waver. "I've made a few friends."

Exacerbating this less-than-subtle threat, the young man shifted his dominant arm into the light thereby revealing his hand. Her gaze flitted there and to her dismay, beheld the marked symbols etched into his flesh. A series of seals that had no business existing upon the hand of anyone who wasn't a Master in the war. Yet there they stood, almost daring her to defy them for what they were. She felt the power emanating from that mark and knew it to be true. An ember of uncertainty kindled itself in her heart and try as she might she couldn't grind it out. Did those seals belong to a Servant of the Red faction? No, surely not. She would've known, would've noticed...

The Black Faction, then.

But who? When? More aptly, _how?_

Regardless of whom he'd stolen, this changed things.

Not only did Berserker have an ace up his sleeve but it rendered made any sort of betrayal on her part absolutely moot; a single seal would be more than sufficient to bring this erstwhile ally to his side. Even if they proved uncooperative he possessed another seal to compel their obedience. Depending on whom he'd wrested away he now posed a significant threat.

 _'But who?'_ her mind flitted like a wild dove, beating its wings in vain as that stoic mask gazed back at her. _'Caster? Saber? Assassin?'_

She had no way of knowing.

Worse, with his Master squirreled away out of sight, they had no way of tapping this potential resource without bringing him into the fold; something he'd gone to great lengths to resist. The other Masters would be brought to heel eventually of course, yet if this continued, they risked a third faction rising within their own ranks. They had no way of knowing how the Grail might react to that-would yet another set of Servants be summoned?

The thought almost made her shiver.

 _'Clever.'_ she mused, laying her chin upon a curled fist. _'Sow dissent among both parties and reap the rewards. Not the way I would have done it, but still. Perhaps there is some merit in dealing with him after all.'_

Her opinion of him inched higher.

 _Slightly._

"You've taken control of a Servant for yourself." it was not a question on her part, but rather a statement. "Fascinating. I hadn't thought it was possible for one such as you."

Blue eyes narrowed to azure slits.

"Oooh, caught onto that quick, didn't you? You _are_ a scary one." the whiskered warrior whistled aloud. "Sharp, too. Maybe I should just kill you now and save myself the hassle...nah, who am I kidding." a hand rose, palming the unruly mane that served as his hair. "I just don't have that kind of mean streak in me. Even in this incarnation. Still...

Every fiber of her being twitched at the perceived slight. "Don't say it."

Grinning, Berserker walked right into that minefield.

"Frankly I'm amazed I got the drop on you." he remarked coyly as she began to squirm in her seat, savoring every moment of her discomfort. "Let's face it, I am the _least_ stealthy Servant out there. Yet here we are. So before you find a way to maim, murder, or otherwise mangle me beyond repair, I'm going to make you an offer. However!" the blond interjected over himself, thrusting an imperious digit into her face, "Before I do, I'd appreciate some manner of civility. Really! We're not savages, you and I! If anything I think we can understand one another. Don't you?"

Really, she couldn't be blamed for what followed.

No, not in the least.

She bit down.

 _Hard._

Rather than yelp or recoil in pain a the sudden injury, Berserker of Red merely sighed. Eyeing the faint drop of blood rising from the now-swollen digit, he favored her with a decidedly lazy look.

"Really?" he deadpanned. "We've fallen to biting me now?"

"Take back your words _this instant_ or so help me-

"I had a son, once. Did you know that?" rather than acquiesce to her demands the blond surprised her by launching into a tangent of his own. "His name was Boruto. Smart kid, if a bit...stubborn. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing but love and respect for him, but he could also be a spoiled little shit at times. Pfft!" A scarred arm rose in dramatic flourish as he belabored his point. "You should've seen him! Proud, arrogant, willing to do whatever it took to win. Nothing like me at all! It took him a while, but eventually he learned his lesson, took a few knocks, and came around. Sure, I outlived him and those who came after him, but it was nice reminder of things."

Semiramis bit her lip, stifling a retort.

"Is there a point to this ceaseless babble of yours?" she hissed.

It was exactly the wrong thing to say and Semiramis realized it far too late.

Quick as a flash those wild bestial eyes found hers again, pinning her where she stood.

"The point that I'm trying to make here, _your majesty,_ is a simple one; people can change!" In a single sharp motion the warrior burst out of his chair and kicked backwards like an angry mule, rendering the rickety frame little more than driftwood against the nearest wall. "We don't have to be enemies! I'd like to think that queen bitch act of yours is just that, an act. And if it is, great. We can work together." For a fraction of a second the wild light in his eyes dimmed and she almost thought he would kneel before her. Then he seized her by the hand and all that fire came roaring back with a bloody vengeance. "But I'm not going to waste my time if you're going to be an absolute bitch about all this and ignore everything I've just said! Don't you get it?! _I'm asking for your help!"_

Eyes of poisoned gold flitted southward, regarding the rough palm now clutching hers.

In that moment something shifted in her heart.

It was a strange thing indeed for someone else to seek her aid once again; unlike Shirou, this request had a different ring to it. To be approached on equal terms proved something of a novel experience for her. From one ruler to another. She knew enough of Berserker's legend-warped though it might be by time and rumors-to comprehend that much. Truth be told, it was not...an unpleasant feeling. For all his insanity Berserker had proven himself profoundly durable, if nothing else. Quirks aside, he might prove a useful meat shield in the battles to come. If manipulated properly, he would be a powerful tool for her own agenda. Perhaps she he might even think it was of his own accord.

And yet...she couldn't bring herself to do it. Try as she might, the words wouldn't come.

Unable to meet that earnest gaze overlong, she turned her own away.

...why ask me this?" the words tumbled out of her in a rush.

Much to the queen's dismay, Naruto didn't release her.

"Let's be honest here; I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed." the hero confided in her with a helpless shrug. "I'm not the fastest, strongest, or even the most charming figure in this war. I've accepted it and come to terms with it. Red or Black, Saber would probably _demolish_ me in a straight up fight, let alone if they used their Noble Phantasm. Same could be said for our Lancer. But they won't. Why, you ask?" Again those blue eyes glinted a tainted shade of crimson at her, surveying Semiramis with those strange bloody slits. "Because I possess a very unique set of skills, skills that are a nightmare for people like you and your master. Chief among them? Turning enemies into allies. It'll be that one that'll see our side through to the end of this war."

 _'Our side?'_

Semiramis blinked.

"Did you seriously just...?"

A harsh bark of laughter greeted her.

"Sorry, Grail's thrown a lot of data at me." a marked hand rose, idly knocking his skull with a clenched fist. "Got a lot of pop culture references rattling around in here. I like to use what I can. That's just it! Don't you see?!" Flinging up his arms toward the bloodied ceiling, he released her hand and belted out a fresh cackle. "We're alive, you and I! Our time was long ago, but now we're back and the world has _changed_ while we were gone! Its incredible! There's so much to see! So much to do! Rock and roll, baby! Don't you want to see what's out there?! Aren't you even a little curious?!"

No, she dare not admit that; he'd become absolutely insufferable if she did.

...I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"Good, because I won't give you one!" came the lilting reply. "Now, that Noble Phantasm of yours is nearly ready, I trust? Its taken quite a bit of time to prepare." When she didn't rise to the bait, the ghost of a smile inched its way across his whiskered visage. "I imagine the Hanging Gardens of Babylon will be quite the sight."

Dread coiled its frigid fingers around her throat and strangled all sense.

Hard.

 _'He knows?!'_

"How did you learn about-

The faint whisper of wind was her only warning; in the next instant she found his head thrust against hers, that crazed smile mere inches from her own.

"Semiramis, I know a great many things." Warm breath brushed her face, bring with it the promise of madness. "Something that _distorts reality itself_ isn't going to escape my notice. That, and your appearance narrowed down your identity considerably. Not many Servants like you; not these days." there it was again, that vague sensation of conversing with something else entirely; in that moment the facade of the fool finally slipped and she glimpsed the warrior lurking behind that merry mask. The sight of it stilled the waspish retort on her tongue.

...who are you really?" she whispered.

In that moment something shifted in her heart.

"Let's answer your question with another question. What do you want from this war?"

"You first."

"Me? No one special. Just a man with a dream. I've fought with gods not once, not twice, but thrice and lived to tell the tale. Make of that what you will." Brushing past her, he sidled up to that same dusty-looking table she'd spied earlier. After a moment's consideration he plucked a package of dried ramen from its surfaced and pried a pair of chopsticks from the wrapper before discarding the former. "Right," he murmured, "I didn't install a microwave or a sink, did I? This is useless then. Just my luck. Such misfortune! Knew I shoulda got some cheese. Nectar of the gods, that...what were we talking about again?

Shaking his head the blond turned that harrowing gaze back on her.

"In any case, what little I _don't_ know has been provided in a broad spectrum by the Grail." he continued. "Now, just in case you've taken it into your head to play me like a fiddle and cast me aside, I'll give you one last warning."

 _Thunk!_

With a solid thud those seemingly benign wooden instruments slammed into the wall opposite Semiramis, opening a thin rent across her left cheek as they hurtled past. A thin line of crimson sluiced down her cheek. Momentarily baffled by the sudden display-and more than a touch perturbed that she'd failed to notice it in the first place-the blackette raised a finely manicured hand to her injured face. The harsh crunch to her rear told her all she needed to know. It was only with an effort of supreme willpower that Assassin finally found it within herself to turn her gaze and follow the impromptu missile's projected path.

Sure enough, she found them wedged against the thick concrete.

And throughout it all, Berserker hadn't budged so much as a single inch.

The smile that followed looked almost beatific by comparison and chilled her to the bone.

"Do not. Fuck with. Me."

Still, a glimmer of defiance kindled itself anew in her breast. Her body remained relatively intact despite that display but her pride, ah, her pride that had suffered a mortal wound. But beyond that, deeper than she dared admit, lurked another emotion. How dare he. How _dare_ he. Who was _he_ to ask for her help only to turn about and demand her loyalty like some peasant?! She was not a fickle wench to be swayed by sentiment! The strong ruled, the weak perished! To think otherwise was anathema, to yield to another something she'd sworn never to do again.

A dark miasma coiled around her shoulders.

"You...you're not sane. _You're mad._ Have you no reason?!"

"Figure that out yourself, did you?" Naruto beamed. "What gave me away? Was it the cheese?"

Enough. He'd pushed her well past the limits of her patience; that light, lilting laugh threatened to take the fraying leash of her self control and snap it entirely. No, it wasn't that. He held absolutely no fear for her; though she could skewer him, flood his body with poison to rot his very bones, he still dared to defy her. To mock her. The _gall._ Make a fool of her, would he?! She'd tear him limb from limb, rip out his heart, and feed it to her doves! See if he came back from that!

Rising ponderously from her chair, the queen summoned a wicked length of chain.

"You have precisely THREE seconds to correct yourself before you choke and die on your own bile."

"Cool your tits, Assassin! Can't you take a joke?! Its not like I was ACTIVELY trying to kill you back there...

"Oh?" A small part of her bridled against such a term, bristling at the very insinuation that he could triumph against her. "And if I refuse?"

"Reaaaaaally trying my patience here...

Naruto exhaled softly; on the surface it seemed little more than a sigh. Nothing more. Nothing less. A lesser soul-one not assigned the dual roles of Caster and Assassin-would've failed to notice the sudden surge of prana stemming from his core. They might've missed the abrupt rigidity of his shoulders, the way in which he arched his back just so, turning enough to present a smaller profile while still keeping her within arms reach. The lack of life in those once vibrant eyes instantly set her on edge.

"Oi, Master." when he finally spoke into the dread silence, it wasn't to her. "You there?"

Assassin blinked.

"Wait, what are you-

"Shh! You're not involved in this anymore." Naruto snapped.

A muscle jumped in her jaw. "I'm feeling pretty damn involved you ignorant little-

"Quiet, Semi. The adults are talking." Even she sputtered in disbelief at this fresh slight, Berserker forsook her entirely. Rather than turn and acknowledge the threat she presented, the blond turned his back on her. Twin azure orbs drifted shut as he pressed two fingers against his forehead. "I think negotiations just broke down. Permission to cut loose for a second? What?" he paused, risking a brief glance in her direction, "Yeah, she's right in front of me. Sure. I'll make it quick. I know, I know, I'll behave." After a beat of silence he must've received an answer in the affirmative, for that black gaze swung back to her anew.

"Do you know why I was summoned as a Berserker class in this war?" he inquired softly.

"I suppose it has something to do with complete and utter lack of sanity." Semiramis retorted with acid venom.

"Close. We all have our own problems, our own issues, our own...demons. Mine? He has a name. A face. Trust me-you don't want to see him." when she refused to rise to the bait, he plowed onward, gesturing elaborately. "I'm well aware that my Master doesn't possess the reserves to sustain me. Not when we've got a second Servant along for the ride, at any rate. So I've taken to finding...alternative means of sustenance. No one seems to miss criminals these days. There's not shortage of them in this country. I'm not proud of it, but needs must, I suppose. See, THIS is what happens when rumors warp your legend. Guess I know how Lancer of Black feels...

"Is this act meant to frighten me, Berserker? Because, I assure you, it doesn't." she sniffed.

Rolling his shoulders, the younger warrior shed his coat with a sharp thud.

"It should, Assassin. You're going to be screaming in a second."

"Have we resorted to threats now? How quaint."

"Fine, you as **ked for it...**

 _Death._

In that moment the candles inexplicably darkened. Could light be black? She wondered about that.

Because in that instant Uzumaki Naruto, Berserker of Red, ceased to be. His back hunched as he bent double, a low roar tearing itself out of his throat. Crimson flooded the room, punctuated by the stench of singed skin. Cloth shredded itself to pieces, flesh peeled away to reveal boiling blood beneath, revealing round orbs of ghastly white sheathed in hardened bone. Hands hardened into feral claws sharper than any blade. As though the fetters of humanity had been stripped away at long last, revealing the monster beneath. Shadows writhed and twisted upon the walls like a thing alive, six tails threshing with the wails of the damned rising in her ears.

The beast saw her then.

And it sneered.

 **"Food."**

 _'No!'_

Too late, Semiramis realized her fate.

This madman-this absolute sociopath!-meant to eat her!

Quick as a flash the Beast gathered itself and pounced upon the startled Assassin, obliterating the magic barrier she frantically tried to erect between them with the merest effort. Unbreakable claws clenched around her throat and squeezed as the sheer weight of its body drove her to the floor, stifling a second spell before it could leave her lips. Though the floor cratered beneath her, the blackette fought back, to no avail. She clawed at its face with poisoned nails striking at any opening she could find, desperately gouging at its eyes when that horrifying face loomed large before her.

"You beast!" White with fury, she raged against him. "Release me at once! Do you hear me?!"

Impossibly, its slavering maw creaked open and against all logic, it _spoke:_

 **"Eyes. Lungs. Pancreas. So many snacks, so little time."**

"I am NOT a _-gack?!"_

Scalding hands seared the exposed flesh of her throat, causing her to cry out and struggle all the more.

Shards of shattered prana splintered in every direction, links of broken chain skittering off the creature's impenetrable hide as it pressed down.

Had it taken place in her Hanging Gardens, the battle might well have turned in favor of Semiramis. She could've simply flooded the room with poison, summoned one of her phantasmal beasts or simply teleported herself away from this raving monstrosity. Not here. Here, cut off from all allies, with no territory and the raw power it possessed she found herself as helpless as a newborn. For all her struggles that gaping maw seemed to loom closer with each passing moment, threatening to engulf her head, to rip her very face from her shoulders-

As quickly as it had come, the terror passed.

The weight suddenly fled from her chest all at once, replaced by a cool numbness. Still she struggled against a foe that was simply no longer there. It wasn't until that icy sensation found her throat-allowing her to speak again-that she realized her opponent had withdrawn and left her to lick her wounds. Sure enough, her spotty vision registered his crimson coat on the peripherals of her vision, accompanied by that shock of blond hair. By the end, his Noble Phantasm couldn't have lasted more than thirty seconds. No more than half a minute, yet the sight of it had been enough to render her blood ice in its veins.

Berserker indeed.

Gasping, clutching at her aching-yet now healed-windpipe, she dared to rise.

"For the record," Berserker's rough voice intruded upon her solace, "I wasn't really going to eat you. I'm not that bad. Just wanted to make my point."

He didn't flinch when Semiramis spat in his direction.

"Consider it made." she croaked out.

With a supreme effort the blackette propped herself up on the points of her elbows and fixed her captor with the most menacing glower she could muster. No, she told herself, she wasn't trembling. Not at all. She refused to show fear. To reveal weakness in the face of an adversary would only further destabilize her position. She would stand tall and proud until she finally escaped this place; then and only then would she pause to lick her wounds. Then she'd repay this indignity tenfold. If he ever set foot on her territory-

Of course, the madman wasn't having any of it.

"Jeez, I really banged you up, didn't I? Sorry, that Noble Phantasm isn't one I can control easily. Here. Hold still."

When the gentle green glow of healing mana blossomed against her throat again, Assassin nearly slapped his hand away outright. To her dismay, she lacked the strength to do even that in her frazzled state. Instead she once more found herself forced to submit to the whims of her captor as he tended her wounds. For all her struggles he simply ignored her diatribe and continued his work. Within moments she found herself able to breathe without flinching, minutes after that the pain had receded to little more than a dull ache, though the memory remained painfully sharp. No, she wouldn't be letting her guard down again...

"Better?"

"Fool! You should have killed me." when he strayed too close for her liking Semiramis saw her opportunity to strike at him in the only way she could; seizing his cheeks she pulled hard, wrenching his whiskered visage with what little strength remained. "You won't get a second chance. Next time we meet I'll-

"Ooops, you've got a bit of blood there!"

-are you even listening to me?!" she fumed as he dabbed at her nose.

Much to her chagrin, that damnable smile of his chose that very moment to return.

"Of course I'm listening. Does that make us allies or enemies then?" his demand left no room for negotiation. "Which'll it be?"

Left with little recourse, the Queen of Assyria took the only road left to her.

She laughed.

"Ha!"

"Okaaaaaaay." his smile thinned into a barely-concealed deadpan. "Laughter. I wasn't expecting that."

Semiramis scarcely heard him as she doubled over to clutch at her stomach. Even had she done so, she would've continued to laugh despite his disbelief. Not a mad cackle of anger or despair as one might expect, but a high-pitched shriek of disbelief to mourn the loss of her sanity. How close she'd come to death just now! She'd glimpsed her end in those jaws; no matter how much Berserker might deny it, there had been a moment where she'd felt the cold touch of the reaper. There would be a reckoning for this. Whether said reckoning ended with heads on a spike or hands intertwined...

...that was anyone's game, wasn't it?

At this point she could no longer bring herself to care.

No, she'd come to accept that Berserker of Red simply couldn't be understood.

"Stop! Cease!" she cried through fits of mad giggling, flinging up her hands! "I yield! I yield! You have my word!"

"What just like that?" For the first time since they'd met Semiramis found herself treat to a rare sight; Berserker at a loss for words. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Hmmph!" Drawing herself up to her full, towering height, the oldest poisoner wiped away a mirthful tear and favored him with a demure look. "You'll have to figure that out yourself, dear. Do try not overheat your brain. You won't be of any use to me if your head explodes."

"That was a backhanded compliment! So, truce?"

Rather than debate the turn of phrase, the blond reluctantly helped her upright. Semiramis never took her eyes off him, not for a moment. Now that she knew he could become that...thing at will, she wasn't going to let him out of her sight. Still, it came as something of a surprise when he actually extended his hand to her in friendship. Spirits, he was actually serious about this. It almost made her feel guilty for what she was about to do.

Almost.

No, she wouldn't be satisfied with just killing him after this, she wanted to break him and make him _hers_ to see that confidence shatter once she was finally able to bring her true power to bear. If he thought he could change her, he was more than welcome to try. She wouldn't let him sway her, and then, at the final moment, she'd show him utter despair.

How sweet it would be!

But for now, patience before poison.

After a moment's hesitation she seized his hand in hers and shook.

"Very well. I promise not to kill you...yet. Though I cannot speak for Lancer or Rider."

"Suppose that's the best I can get." the blond demurred with a shrug. "Looking forward to working with ya."

 _'And I you...for however long you're of use to me.'_

What Naruto lacked in the art of warfare-that is to say his complete and utter lack of anything resembling a sound strategy-he more than made up for with sheer charisma. She'd witnessed that firsthand. Adversaries became allies, seemingly overnight. And through it all, that smile shone through. But were one to become his enemy perchance...if they refused his overtures of peace then they would be eradicated without mercy. His was the mindset of a noble ruler, a man who'd led others to victory and ground his foes underfoot. She understood that. Respected it even. Rulers were tyrants, beholden to no one but themselves. That made him dangerous.

Just what had led his legend to become so warped?

"Great! Now I hate to do this, but I'm gonna have to knock you out again." Naruto informed her primly, narrowly startling her out of her reverie. "Need to keep the secret base "secret" and all, ya know? Can't have your Master tracking me down and making trouble. I'll be in touch!"

Semiramis paled to the very roots of her hair.

"No, no, nononono!" she hissed, shrinking back from him. "Berserker, don't you dare-mmph?!"

"Shh, shh." a finger pressed against her mouth. "No tears. Only dreams now."

Through the haze that enveloped her, Assassin managed one final curse.

Then the sweet embrace of slumber drew her into waiting arms.

* * *

 _(...Presently...)_

* * *

"You did what?!"

"Sorry~! I was just curious~!"

"And _I'm_ curious how far my boot will go up your ass!"

"You'll never take me alive, Saber! Can't kill what ya can't catch!"

"HEY! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP DOWN HERE! PUT A SOCK IN IT!"

"When the hell did you sneak off again, zombie?! I told you that bitch was bad news!"

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! JUST GET A ROOM AND BANG FOR CRISSAKES!"

On _that_ less than pleasant note, Ruler finally opened her eyes and surrendered to the light of day. Her body responded sluggishly at first-such were the pangs of possessing Laeticia's physical form rather than a true spirit one-and at first her hands furtively clamped down around her pillow, trying in vain to shut out the argument that had suddenly roared to life with Berserker's early return. Try as she might, the sweet song of slumber eluded her.

Truth be told she hadn't realized he'd slipped out again while she slept. Had she truly been that weary? Or perhaps-

"CLARENT-!"

"DO NOT! You'll bring the damn crypt down on our heads!"

Times like these, Jeanne almost wished she could dematerialize like the others.

The curious crunch of mortar meeting metal finally forced her to give up on that pipe dream.

This crypt in question was a touch cramped-especially when considered it played host to four servants and two masters-but this...

Theirs was a strange alliance; one formed by loose kinship and camaraderie rather than any real need for cooperation on their part. Heartening, yet concerning all the same. Should Berserker be removed from the scenario she suspected their little pact would soon fall to ruin. The man certainly had an...air about him, if not a way for words. A presence that drew one in, almost like-

 _"Incoming!"_

Hunkered down against her bedroll she nearly missed the abrupt implosion of a nearby wall, punctuated by the scarlet-clad form of Berserker tumbling through it onto his back. Dappled with dust and debris he uttered a soft groan, but the moment he laid eyes upon her said moan morphed into a brimful laugh. Once more she had the strangest impression of a dog just waiting to be petted.

"Oh, there you are, Ruler." much to her chagrin, the whiskered warrior snapped off a faux salute from where he lay. "Sleep well? How's your leg?"

His words brought a fresh surge of heat to her cheeks for all the wrong reasons. Of course her eyes chose that moment to betray her, those aqua orbs idly drifting towards his lips. The same lips that had laid a kiss on her forehead only hours before-gah! _Stop! Bad girl! Down, Jeanne, down!_

"I have recovered adequately, thank you." coughing to hide her blush, she turned her face aside. "I take it your excursion wasn't well received by your allies?"

"Something like that." he grinned sheepishly in spite of the blood no-doubt rushing to his head. "If my Master hadn't given the go ahead, I wouldn't have bothered. Still, it all worked out in the end, anyway. Turns out that damn priest _was_ the one who sent Lancer your way." those keen eyes didn't miss the stiffening of her shoulders, but neither did they acknowledge it. "At any rate Assassin of Red may or may not be an ally now...though I can't speak for Karna. Doesn't seem to have his head on straight, that one. Speaking of which, you're upside down, ya know."

This time, Ruler was unable to hide her smile.

"No, _you're_ laying on your back."

The blond blinked rapidly.

"Huh. So I am!"

Arching his shoulders, Naruto snapped to his feet in a single fluid motion and alighted on the bedroll opposite her. Cocking his head aside, he regarded its still-slumbering occupant quietly. A marked hand rose and fell, smoothing silver tresses with infinite care, wary not to stir them from their sleep. Unbidden Jeanne's gaze followed his, only to stiffen when she realized what-who!-lurked in the room with them. The softest sigh graced her ears as the bed's occupant shifted, tucking their compact form against that arm, nuzzling his hand to their cheek.

"Didn't notice her, did you?" he rumbled knowingly. "That's presence concealment for ya. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it...

Something else flitted across Naruto's face and for a fleeting moment Jeanne caught a glimpse-just a glance-of his intentions.

She felt like an intruder witnessing an intimate moment between parent and child. Naked. Vulnerable.

Yes, there was still the matter of that child.

She hadn't even noticed her.

No, _not_ a child.

 _Assassin._

An amalgamation of countless souls fused together in one physical body, Jack the Ripper wasn't at all who or what she'd expected when she arrived. Even now some small part of her refused to accept it. Tiny and petite with scarcely any clothes to speak of, the Assassin of Black seemed more a little lass than a hardened killer, a lost lamb in the war to come. Wherever Berserker went, she would follow after him like a lost puppy. When he left she would collapse into herself.

As if she couldn't bear to exist without him.

Now, with her face softened in sleep one could almost mistake her for a normal girl. Not Jeanne. She'd glimpsed her true face and the truth that came with it; this girl was both "night" and "day", killer, yet innocent. Should not those souls be released to the Lord's embrace? Was it not her duty? Did they not deserve peace? Was the entity known as "Jack" a false existence or a true one? She suspected any attempt to "save" the tormented spirits residing within young Jack would be met with open hostility by the rest of the Red faction.

There would always be some contention on that.

Moreover, Atalanta-that is to say Archer of Red-seemed keen on the little wisp of a girl. Protective, even. Nothing so overt as trailing Jack outright mind, but just enough to make that presence felt despite her absence. No doubt she was somewhere nearby, ready to intervene at a moment's notice. There would be more than tension there if she made any moves toward Jack; of that much Jeanne remained certain. No, she wouldn't lower her guard. Appearances could be deceiving and this _was_ war after all. One could never tell when or where the tides would turn; whether allies would become enemy or adversaries turn to allies.

Even a little girl.

Still, Jeanne could not hold her tongue forever.

"You seem good with children, Berserker." the words felt forced and stilted coming from one such as her, but they pierced the fog between them nonetheless. "Did you have children in your past life?"

Soft laughter like velvet brushed across her ears.

"More than I could count." For his part Naruto offered a noncommittal hum as the young assassin nuzzled against his arm. "Remind me to tell you about Boruto and Himaware sometime. At first I really sucked at being a parent. By now I'm an old hand at this sort of thing. You know what they say; once a father, always a father."

On that much they agreed.

"I...have questions." she managed, "Concerning last night."

"About me or the battle?" he riposted.

"Both...I suppose."

"Fair enough." the blond's head bobbed in agreement, though his eyes never left Assassin's slumbering face. "Not too loudly now." At this he finally relented and took his hand from her head before rising slowly from the bed. "Wouldn't want to wake her now, would we?" Oh, to hell with it. She couldn't bring herself to harm that face.

...no, we wouldn't."

With great care, he claimed the empty space beside her and clasped his hands.

"Where would you like to start?"

So she did.

"Where do you hail from?" Jeanne inquired.

"Don't suppose you'd heard of the Elemental Nations?"

"I have not."

"Just like I haven't heard of France, eh?" the blond ribbed, elbowing her in the side. "That's to be expected, I suppose. After all its not everyday you get to converse with a saint. Never thought I'd be shooting the breeze with the Maiden of Orleans herself. I'm honored."

 _"Hweh?"_

She most certainly did not utter that undignified squeak just now. No. Not at all.

"How did you-

-know who you were?" Naruto countered happily, poking her forehead with his free hand. "Its not hard to guess. Few qualify for the Ruler class to begin. You'd have to be a saint-which, surprise _surprise_ , you are. The flag was a dead giveaway to begin with; you're a dead ringer for her. Seriously, if you're not _Jeanne d'Arc_ I'll eat my boot here and now! Oui, oui mademoiselle!"

"That...that was a horrible accent." Jeanne palmed her face and groaned as the bed rocked beneath them. "I take back everything I said. _You're_ horrible."

"I regret nothing." whiskered cheeks dimpled in a small smile. "Anything else you wanna ask?"

There it was again, that simple, frank boldness that confounded her so.

Did it have something to do with his Madness Enhancement?

"You're awfully forthcoming for a Heroic Spirit."

"Hmm." a clawed finger rose, idly tracing lazy circles on the sheets. "'Suppose I am. Wonder why that is? Maybe being summoned as a Berserker lowered my inhibitions this time around? Or perhaps that just came with living a long life? Guess I've always been chaotic good...

In spite of her best efforts Jeanne almost found herself returning his smile once more. There was a strange, unorthodox charm to Berseker of Red; it was part of the reason she'd accompanied him here despite her initial protests back at the road. For all his strength and sanity-or lack thereof-he genuinely wasn't interested in doing battle with her. Nor did he seem keen on fighting at all, really. His objective remained a mystery to her, one that seemed to grow more appealing the longer she spent in his presence.

So, why?

Why couldn't she bring herself to focus around him?

She certainly would not fight the Black Faction for this man, for her role must remain neutral in this war. It was her duty to observe and ensure events were conducted fairly. She had no side. But something was wrong with this war. Though she knew not what, she felt it on an instinctual level. Servants stealing Servants, banding together, attacking her out of the blue, even the baffling lack of Masters whose presence remained far too faint...on a fundamental level some key part of this war had gone amiss. If it meant she could meet the mysterious officiator behind the Red Faction, the very one who'd tried to silence her for reasons she didn't understand...

For that at least, she could be patient.

 _Someone,_ however, could not.

"BERSERKER!"

"Tch." Naruto clicked his tongue. "That didn't take long. Looks like Sisigou sold me out."

"Whatever do you mean by-

Before the Maiden of Orleans could pose that question a familiar armored figure stormed through the breach Naruto had made and locked an arm around his neck from behind. To his credit, the whiskered warrior did little more than squawk in surprise when the owner of said limb clamped down on him. With a series of harsh clanks the knight's helmet disassembled itself and crumpled to their shoulders, revealing the livid visage lurking within. Wild turquoise eyes bored down into his with frightful intensity, her lips parted in a half-snarl as she leaned over her prey

"So _this_ is where you were hiding! Damn sneaky bastard!" Mordred growled, hauling him closer. "What do ya have to say for yourself?!"

...I plead the fifth?" he ventured weakly, raising his hands in feeble defense.

"DENIED!"

Ah. As expected of Saber of Red. No one else possessed lungs of such a high caliber. In another life Jeanne might have pitied the object of her wrath. As it stood she felt little empathy for the bedraggled blond at the moment. Why, you ask? Perhaps it had something to do with the shit-eating grin currently adorning his whiskered visage as he fled. Anyone capable of enduring Karna's onslaught had little to fear when faced with the Knight of Rebellion herself. Whatever he had done to offend her...well, he'd long since made his bed, now he would just have to sleep in it.

"Sooo...is there any way I can convince you not to strangle me?"

What followed...did not quite meet Ruler's expectations.

 _"Food!"_

Both blondes blinked.

...wanna run that by me again?" Naruto croaked.

"You! Are! Taking! Me! Out! For! Food!" the proud warrior repeated, emphatically jabbing a finger against his collarbone with each word. "Clothes, too! I'm sick of waltzing around in my armor and that damn necromancer won't get out of bed! So you're it!"

Her declaration finally reactivated Naruto, causing him to bat her prying hands aside.

"Ha?!" Growling, the whiskered warrior straightened up, fixing her with a disbelieving look. "What the hell, Saber?! You can do that shit yourself! Why do ya need me?! I need to draw up plans for the attack with Archer. Just go grab some takeout or something!"

For a terrifying moment she almost thought the two would come to blows.

Once more, her expectations found themselves violently usurped.

Mordred's lower lip trembled, just so.

And then, quite suddenly:

 _"Its boring alone!"_

"Ha?!"

To her complete and utter disbelief, Saber actually released Berserker and flung herself to the floor in a heap of flailing limbs. At first Ruler feared an attack, but none came. No sooner had she landed than she began to thrash about the room as an unruly child might, rolling to and fro like a broken top. Jeanne had never seen a knight throw a tantrum before. Indeed, Mordred showed no signs of stopping. This. _This_ was the legendary Knight of Rebellion. The great betrayer who had torn the Round Table apart from the inside and aspired to steal that great throne. Under any other circumstance it would've been downright comical.

First time for everything, she supposed.

Evidently Naruto felt the same-because he flung up his hands and gave a great shout of his own.

"Fine, fine! Whatever you say, your majesty! I'll take you out! Just stop!"

Mordred stiffened.

It was like flipping a switch; in a heartbeat the unruly Servant of Red surged back to her feet and rammed her forehead against that of Naruto's. Any hint of that recalcitrant girl she'd been mere moments before vanished, replaced by a strange, burning curiosity. She didn't attack, didn't speak, didn't move. Jeanne wasn't even sure she was breathing beneath all that armor. She'd gone deathly still, quiet as the grave, with no hint as to what had brought on this sudden change in behavior. Was that a blush adorning her cheeks? No, surely she must be imagining it.

Pressing herself yet closer to Berserker, the warrior murmured softly:

"Oi. Zombie. What was that bit you shouted at me, there?"

"Just stop?" Naruto tilted his head, baffled.

"No, idiot! Before that!" she snapped!

...uh, your majesty?" A blink.

"Say it again."

 _"Seriously?"_ A blond brow rose in mild consternation. "This have something to do with your wish for the Grail, or...?"

With that, whatever strange spell had fallen over the Knight of Rebellion ended as abruptly as it had begun; all at once her tan visage blazed an alarming shade of crimson. Sense reasserted itself, to the dirge of the knight's own tattered emotions. Her mouth worked wordlessly as shame and embarassment waged a war for her body alongside pride. Eventually the latter won out. Crying out, Mordred reared back and smashed her forehead against his in a devastating headbutt, sending her fellow blond reeling back half a step. Eyes rolling in his head like mad marbles, Berserker staggered away in a daze.

"What _is it_ with you people and headbutting me?!" he groaned.

"Its nothing! C'mon, we're going!"

"But I promised Atalanta-

"Tch, fine! Bring her!"

"Sure, just let me tell my _Maaaaaaster?!"_ his reply ended in a pained yelp when his fellow Servant planted a palm against his back and shoved, forcing him away ahead of her. "Hey! Stop pulling! What's the rush?!" In no time at all she'd viciously frog-marched Berserker back through the hole in the wall with all the mercy of a drill sergeant. Struggling against his fellow blond, the cloaked warrior managed to dig his heels in and get an arm loose enough to sketch an awkward wave in Ruler's direction.

"What about Jeanne-

Mordred absolutely hissed.

"So you're calling her _Jeanne_ , now?!"

In hindsight, Naruto _really_ should've kept his mouth shut. Or denied it, at the very least. He wouldn't of course; Jeanne knew enough about her fellow blond by now to know he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to tease someone; least of all an ally. Rather, he couldn't. It was simply in his nature. Now, under any other circumstance he might have escaped with his hide intact. As it stood, this time, he pushed just a _little_ too far. Perhaps that had been his intent all along. Perhaps not. Regardless of the fact, the results that followed were nothing short of spectacular.

"Hoho? Is someone jealous, Mordred-chan? Its sounds like-UGACH?!"

The cause of the blond's sudden shout soon became apparent with the twang of a bowstring.

"Oh dear." Archer of Red's-Atalanta, Ruler ruthlessly reminded herself-voice hailed from a nearby passageway. Moment's latter the Servant in question appeared, bow in hand. Weapon aside, that stony gaze would've sent a lesser man shrieking for the hills. "I appear to have shot you in the knee by mistake, Berserker. Forgive me. I was aiming for your foot."

"Th-That...that was on purpose, damnit!" said Berserker groaned. "What is WRONG with you?! Where did you even come from?! I've done nothing to deserve this!" Ruler didn't see the second arrow, but Naruto certainly felt it if his yelp was any indication. Did it sound a touch forced? Perhaps. She'd witnessed his inhuman endurance for herself; surely something like a few arrows wouldn't cause him any real pain. If Atalanta suspected any such thing, she did precious little to show it.

"A pointless question. Shall we go then? the archer-in-question hummed. "I believe he made each of us a promise."

Jeanne had never heard Mordred-or anyone-laugh like that before. Now she never wanted to again.

"He did, didn't he!" she crowed. "You're not so bad after all, Archer!"

"I try. Now then, Berserker, I hope you'd prepared yourself."

"Ruler!" Naruto wailed!" Saaaaaaaaaaave me~!"

 _'No, I think not.'_

Jeanne was almost tempted to argue that point and come to his defense; but with Archer's arrival she simply didn't have it in her to belabor this madness any longer. Remarkably, Assassin had slept through the blonde's tirade somehow, her sleep unscathed despite the chaos that both Saber and Berserker had brought with them. Jeanne almost envied her that. Would that she could sleep like the dead! Suddenly the idea of going back to bed seemed infinitely more appealing than suffering through the rest of this morning insanity, Assassin or no. She'd thought herself prepared for the chaos of this war. Clearly, she'd been wrong.

At the last Jeanne risked one final glance at the now-captive Naruto to make certain as he was dragged/marched towards his inevitable doom.

In that moment the whiskered warrior caught her eye, unbeknownst to his captors. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he winked.

Baffled by this sudden display, the saint could only blink. Realization struck a hammer blow not a heartbeat later.

That _bastard._ He was playing the fool after all, solely for the sake of getting Saber and Archer to bond. It seemed so unlikely that neither would give it any thought; rather they would chalk it up to Berserker simply being his usual foolish self. They'd never realize he had deliberately orchestrated these events solely for the sake of drawing them closer to one another. That...that was actually a little frightening now that Ruler truly gave the matter thought. It meant Berserker knew more than she gave him credit for. Far more. Yet again she found herself forced to revise her opinion of what seemed like a harmless jester.

Anyone foolish enough to face him head-on in the war to come would be in for a rude awakening.

In the end, the Maiden of Orleans' response proved decidedly un-saintlike.

"Well! I am not _nearly_ awake enough to deal with this shit."

Within moments, she'd buried her head in a pillow.

Sleep found her shortly thereafter.

 **A/N: TIIIIIIIIIIRED!**

 **I'm absolutely drained from writing this; especially considering this chapter almost wound up being entirely devoted to Semiramis. In the end, I couldn't bear to let her have all the limelight, so here we are, with more hijinks and battles ahead. Atalanta gets her chance to shine next chapter. It'll be a bit of everything, with FAR more action than we've seen up until now.**

 **There we go.**

 **Furthermore, the hint has been dropped and now we might well have a third faction in this war if things continue as they are, but that depends on YOU dear reader. Tell me what you think! I think the Blue Faction has a nice ring to it *cough*yup*cough***

 **Consider this an early Halloween present. And if you don't celebrate that, well, then a Winter present!**

 **Naruto's made a "deal" with Semiramis, in short, by gaining her respect. Its hinted that his Noble Phantasm is an absolute MONSTER to deal with, which has a great deal to do with his legend being warped.** **Ought to be obvious, no?**

 **Gonna say it now, Semiramis is the best tsundere.**

 **They'll meet again.**

 **Yes, ALL the previews you've seen are coming, just not quite yet. I didn't want to squeeze too much into this chapter, you know? Ah, this was a treat to write! Semiramis and the others each had their time to shine, and we've got the beginnings of a harem starting to form.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _"I fail to see the purpose of this...outfit."_

 _"Really? Looks kinda fetching on you."_

 _THUNK._

 _"What'd I do?! I only said that side of you was cute-_

 _A trio of arrows thudded home beside his ear before he could finish._

 _"Well, shit." the blond gulped out. Don't suppose you'd accept an apology?"_

 _Atalanta knocked a quartet of fresh arrows to her supple bowstring and drew back._

 _"I'm going to give you a five second head-start, Naruto." she warned. "I suggest you take it."_

 _Honestly, if she hadn't been smiling he would've thought she genuinely intended to kill him! Crazy woman!_

* * *

 _"Hey, Caster."_

 _Shakespeare swallowed thickly._

 _"N-Now, I know what you're thinking. Should I throw him? Well the answer might-_

 _"HAVE A NICE FLIGHT!"_

* * *

 _"The grail did what now?!"_

 _"What the hell, zombie?! What did you do?!"_

 _"Oi! Don't give me that look! I didn't touch anything, I swear!"_

* * *

 _"Oh fuck me! You're telling THAT'S their Saber?!"_

 _When Atalanta turned she found a vacant pocket of air where Berserker had once stood. In the distance she spied his red cloak, rapidly retreating._

 _"NOPE!"_

 _"Coward!"_

* * *

 _"CHARGE!"_

* * *

 _"Jackie, watch the kid. If he tries to bolt, stick him in the leg."_

 _With that, Sieg opened his eyes._

 _"Where...?_

* * *

 _"You think you're being cute?!"_

 _"To quote a proud man...bitch, I'm adorable."_

* * *

 _"From one monster to another..._

 _A crimson hand shot up, caging the lance in that clawed palm._

 _...you're fighting for the wrong side. Legends are what we make of them!"_

 **R &R~!**


	6. The Dogs of War

**A/N: R.I.P. Stan Lee, you will be missed.**

 **SURPRISE UPDATE!**

 **0_0**

 **WE'VE RECEIVED MORE THAN FIVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY REVIEWS AT THE TIME OF THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! LET'S GET IT TO SIX HUNDRED! YOU GUYS ROCK!** **These chapters take so long to write because there's so much to INCLUDE in them. After all, this story is about Fate AND Naruto. If I wanted to write about Naruto and Naruto alone, they'd be a lot shorter, no?**

 **Nobody wants that!**

 **So, here! More than ten thousand words for ya!**

 **And once again, that blasted obligatory disclaimer:**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now that we've finished that, lets get the catchphrase out of the way, ey?**

 **REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION! Well, if you like. I can't force you~!**

 **I feel I should clarify something before we continue. Naruto...is not sane in this story. He's not in a bad way mind you, he's just not altogether "there" at the moment. Throw in a dash of Madness Enhancement and you've got a recipe for chaos.** **We've seen what rumors and slander can do to Vlad would be a prime example of this.** **Naruto's...a more extreme example.** **Remember, in his age, jinchuuriiki were thought to be monsters, wild and feral beasts with little control of themselves. Surprise surprise, when one or two break the mold they're considered the exception, not the rule.**

 **Although Naruto and Killer Bee proved such rumors to be untrue, the rumors still persisted.**

 **On another note, this chapter's a bit broader than others; in that I focus on more people than I customarily do. I feel I should warn you now, the focus shifts a lot; primarily it sticks with Naruto in this chapter but it DOES move from character to character throughout. Romance finally begins to come into play here, but that promises to be a bumpy road for all parties involved.** **Lots of interlocking pieces, if you will. On that note, parts of this were a right bitch to write. Others were a treat and input from several readers-you know who you are!-helped to expedite the process significantly.**

 **After all, nothing is ever simple where the Fate series is concerned.**

 **This is a treat to write, in part because it has so many moving...well, parts! One would think that swapping one Servant for another-in this case, Spartacus for Naruto-wouldn't change much, and yet we've already seen that's not the case. The Great Grail War has already changed on a fundamental level and nothing will the same. Allies may become enemies. Adversaries could turn their coat at the most unexpected moment. Allegiances change and shift with the wind. Even the Holy Grail itself isn't wholly immune to the change our berserker blond's brought with him.**

 **Just about EVERYBODY gets some screentime in this chapter, and that's not an easy thing to do when you consider the size of the cast!**

 **What can I say? I really do enjoy writing Fate Stay Night material. Turns out I have a bit of knack for it.**

 **Also, in terms of Astolfo I REGRET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!**

 **Thanks once again for sticking with me, all!**

 **Now, in lie of a longer author's note...**

 **...shall we begin?**

 _"Ha! Told you it would happen."_

 _"T'was never a matter of if...only when."_

 _~?_

 **The Dogs of War**

 _"Berserker's trying to kill me?"_

Shirou Tokisada Amakusa had experienced many emotions in his heyday.

Love, Joy, sorrow, and oh yes _...hatred._

Surprise was rarely one of them.

A note of incredulity mingled with the fading afternoon sunlight, filtered through windows of stained glass to cast an ominous shadow upon his face. The dawn had come and gone. Night would soon be upon them, with all the chaos that it brought. Yet those mocking words continued to echo through the church, folding endlessly in on themselves like a pair of paper dolls until naught remained but silence. Already their owner felt the telltale signs of migraine beginning to bloom in the back of his head; manifesting as a dull throbbing sensation amidst his temples.

 _'That one again.'_ his lips pursed into a rare frown. _'Perhaps I should have killed him when I had the chance.'_

"Did I stutter?" Assassin's voice cracked like a whip, reminding him of his audience.

Right. He didn't have the liberty of dwelling on his own shortcomings.

Gods above, where had Shakespeare wandered off to this time?

He sorely hoped the fool wasn't wandering about Trifas...

At length, Shirou exhaled and rose from his kneeling position below the altar, stifling an impulse to sigh for what felt like the umpteenth time this hour. It felt as though he'd been doing an awful lot of sighing from the moment he'd laid eyes on that one. Under any other circumstances he would've greeted his Servant with a smile. Improper though those feelings might be, he felt he should foster them. His wish hinged on her cooperation after all, now more than ever considering she'd nearly lost her life to that impudent...arrogant...upstart of a ** _BERSERKER...!_**

For a moment, just a moment, his pleasant facade slipped.

"Hmm? That's quite the face you're making, Master."

As ever, Assassin's expression didn't waver-no, wait. He lied. There was an ember of annoyance replacing the usual glowering tenderness she wore when addressing him. A fire that threatened to grow into a roaring blaze at the slightest provocation. Oh, dear. Had Berserker gotten to her as well? Planted doubts in her might? This wouldn't do. He might have to address that. He couldn't afford to have Semiramis doubt him now. Her Hanging Gardens of Babylon were a critical part of the plan. Without them, retrieving the Greater Grail would prove difficult indeed.

Composing his face into a pleasant mask, the irritated priest sketched a humble bow.

"My apologies, Semiramis. I suppose the stress has been getting to me."

Sure enough, Assassin's uncertainty dissolved into a satisfied smirk.

"So long as you understand."

Oh, Shirou understood. He simply hadn't expected a Servant to actually be out for his blood.

Much less one capable of kidnapping Semiramis.

Yes, having cast aside such sentiment long ago, he could view the situation rationally. Were another might have felt fear, anger, or even doubt, he merely experienced mild curiosity. Just how was he outmaneuvering him in this War? How had sensed the trap laying in wait for him and his Master? How did he spirit Assassin away without him knowing until this very moment? How indeed. Lancer _had_ hinted at such a technique upon returning from his duel, but this only solidified Shirou's prior belief.

Claiming a seat in the pew beside her, he willed concern he didn't necessarily feel into his voice.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Instead of producing the desired effect of soothing her, Amakusa found himself faced with a dark look.

...he did." his Servant relented, biting her a fingernail in exasperation. "Then he healed me. I don't understand him. Can you believe he asked for a truce? He even knew my identity."

"Ah." Shirou managed eloquently. It wasn't that he disliked Semiramis. He simply doubted Berserker's ability to kill her. He was far too predictable for his own good.

Truce or no, Berserker of Red needed to die.

If Semiramis was to be believed, he'd already drawn a number of Servants to his side. Under his banner, a portion of the Red Faction threatened to break away entirely. Had it simply been Saber and Sisigou, he would not have expended such effort. Even Atalanta alone would've been no great loss in the long run; one easily brought back into the fold upon claiming the Command Spells of her master, though more preparation was yet required for that. But Berserker and Rum had not only broken ranks, the former had gone out of his way to thwart Karna's assassination of Ruler. Any further attempts would likely be met with open hostility.

Worse, they'd stolen a Servant of Black for themselves. That brought their numbers to five.

Rider, Assassin, Caster, Lancer. Including himself _they_ numbered six.

Still, his side retained the numerical superiority...for now.

But who knew when that statistic would change?

For now, he would continue to play the game.

"And?" he prodded." What do you think of him?"

Semirais grit her teeth. "A fool."

She was hiding something.

How...unfortunate.

"I see. Are the Hanging Gardens finished, then?"

Semiramis averted her gaze. "Nearly so. By tomorrow at the latest, I'd expect."

"Hmm." Shirou murmured absently, his mind already elsewhere. "We're nearly ready then."

Berserker was a man driven by emotion. Impulse. Sentiment. As such it was almost painfully easy to predict his next move and thus, counter him. Shirou, who had forsaken a heart filled with hatred for the sake of humankind's salvation, could understand that much. After all, he too had once been consumed by emotion. Driven by it. Dominated by it. Feelings could be treacherous. Precisely why he'd resolved to discarded them in the first place. After all, humanity's future was at stake. If everyone could simply abandon their selfishness and saved others, could not such a world be created? A realm where everyone was saved and happy.

Some might call such a wish naive, flawed even, but he cared not for their thoughts.

This was his wish for the Grail.

He would not be denied.

 _'Not this time.'_

For the sake of that dream he would not hesitate. No, he could not. He would destroy any adversary without hesitation. All obstacles must be eliminated. Those whom he could not kill-such as Lancer or Assassin-he would manipulate into doing his bidding. The weaker ones he would crush. And as for Berserker...why did he have this niggling suspicion that he knew him, not on a personal level, but his identity...? That whiskered face, the crimson coat, the distinctive way he finished his sentences, that unorthodox way of fighting, and that damned charisma...

Something clicked.

"He's Uzumaki Naruto."

"You know him?" the blackette frowned.

"I'm peripherally aware of his legend." thumbing his chin, the priest paused and leaned forward to consider her words. "He's a hero from long ago, albeit an obscure one. They say he secured lasting peace in his era for more than three hundred years. Someone like that doesn't strike me as a Berserker. Frankly, I'm surprised he was summoned as such in this war. It must have something to do with his Noble Phantasm."

A haunted look flashed through the poisoner's gaze.

"Oh?" He caught it immediately. "You saw it, didn't you?"

 _"Silence!"_ Semiramis absolutely hissed. "I will not speak of it!"

"Clearly, he's a threat." he relented. "He'll have to be eliminated. Ruler, too."

Assassin actually blinked. "I gave him my word that he wouldn't be harmed...yet."

Left unspoken was the silent threat. _That's my kill. Take him from me at your own peril._

"You didn't give him mine." Shirou pointed out. "In any case it doesn't matter. He's no match for Lancer and Rider."

There it was again, that brief flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Doubt, poisoned by something he didn't understand. Carelessly, he dismissed it as inconsequential, his thoughts drifting once more to the matter at hand. Semiramis was loyal to him. Surely it would take more than a seed of doubt for her to betray his trust. Perhaps had he not been so fixated on his goal he might've lent the matter more thought. But he did not. Shirou could not be faulted for this. There was no malice held in his heart; only pure, unflinching resolve.

"You intend to kill him, then?"

Amakusa favored her with a small smile.

"Naturally. Its the best course of action, after all...

* * *

 **(...XxXxX...)**

* * *

"Are you _sure_ that was the best course of action?"

If she was at all displeased by Sisigou's blunt inquiry Jean Rum did little to show it; on the contrary the Gale Wheel seemed quietly satisfied with the plans they'd made. Her bespectacled gaze never wavered from the map before them, her left hand idly diving their Servant's route even as the right occupied itself with another matter on the opposite side. There was a telltale gleam in her gaze that the old necromancer knew all too well-one that boded ill for whomever found themselves on the receiving end of that stoic glare. He almost pitied them. Almost.

Still, the matter needed to be addressed.

"We're exposed here without our Servants." laying a hand upon the weathered hand upon the table, he fixed the brunette with a measuring look. "Surely you understand that?"

 _"And?"_

A muscle jumped in Kairi's jaw.

"We can't count on Ruler if it comes to a fight." the necromancer pressed, finally drawing a scathing look from his ally as a dainty sneeze answered from a nearby room. "She's sworn herself to neutrality, remember?" when she didn't challenge him, he bulled on ahead in spite of her silence. "And you just let three quarters of our forces walk out the door. Who knows when they'll return? If the enemy finds us here we won't be able to retreat-

"I understand your concerns, but _would you kindly calm down?"_

With a tempered sigh borne of hardened steel the younger magus finally raised her icy gaze to meet his. Kairi nearly balked. Spirits, he'd forgotten just how _vicious_ Jean could be when backed into a corner. After all, she was a monster who specialized in combat, one who removed any and all opposition without mercy. To think otherwise was akin to anathema for him. For all her social awkwardness and odd mannerisms, Jean was nearly his equal when it came to magus combat. She'd likely gut him with one of her chakrams if he continued his present course of action. Allies they might well be, but he didn't want to push her too far.

"No need to concern yourself." his fellow magus reassured him. "If worst comes to worst we've still got this one."

Slender fingers stroked Assassin's silver mane, sending the girl into fresh paroxysms of delight at her side.

"Mmhm, that feels nice!" she purred happily. "Keep going!"

"Are you sure we can trust her?" Kairi muttered.

"What's not to trust?" Those dark eyes drifted back to the parchment beneath them, the crystal beneath her fingers slowly trailing its way north. "She's bound to Berserker, which means she's also bound to me. Killing me would deprive her of _him_ , which in turn ensures her loyalty to _our_ cause. Its elementary, really."

"You say that, but she's still part of the Black Faction. Doesn't that concern you?"

The bibliomaniac arched a thick eyebrow at him in mild consternation.

"Say, Jack-chan." she hummed aloud, "Would you betray us?"

Round, innocent eyes of spun gold rose up to meet hers.

"Why would we do that?" she blinked. "We like you~!"

"And _why_ do you like us?" Jean prodded.

Assassin offered another slow blink at that and tilted her head aside to regard them. So small. So innocent. Almost like...no. Kairi felt his heart give an unpleasant lurch in his chest. The sight stirred up unpleasant memories in the bedrock of his mind, a poignant reminder of his own desperate wish for the Holy Grail.

"You're like Onii-chan." she began to count off her gloved fingers slowly, "You keep us safe and warm. You feed us when we're hungry. You gave us clothes. We like that. Why would we give that up?"

The wind wielder offered Sisigou angelic smile.

"See? No problems."

"Oi, oi, oi...

This woman was troublesome. Of that there could be no doubt. No amount of effort on his part would convince her; no honeyed words could ever hope to sway her thoughts. She was driven by pure purpose, a wild single-minded goal in which she would trample all others to reach. Honestly, she terrified him more than any Servant. Berserker and Saber would eventually vanish upon the War's conclusion, but Jean Rum would undoubtedly remain. Not only was she cunning, but ruthless to boot. It would take more than the Black Faction possessed to do her in. Speaking of said faction...

The necromancers coughed harshly in a vain attempt to hide his discomfort.

"You do realize those Yggdmillennia bastards aren't going to take this lying down." he warned, following the route she'd divined and the boundary upon which it had come to rest. "Whether Berserker knows it or not, he's essentially invading their territory. They'll take that as a provocation."

The wind wielder's smile turned positively feral.

"Of course. I'm counting on it."

"You _want_ them to attack?"

"But of course."

Steeping her fingers in a tent formation Jean cast the crystal down onto the map. Rather that tumble madly as one might expect it alighted upon a single point and stood rigid. Moments later it began to pulse a ghastly shade of crimson before finally clearing to reveal an image. Gradually said image resolved into a moving scene of sorts. Behind the tinted shades of his sunglasses, the scarred magus narrowed his gaze. He recognized the name etched into the map, the very same location they'd scryed not long ago. _Sighisoara?_ Given the frequency of its pulsations, one could only assume that was where the trio had wandered off to.

Sure enough, he spied a shock of blond hair amidst the townsfolk.

"Wait a minute. Are they doing what I think they're-

"Berseker. Saber. Archer." One by one Jean recited their names, her lips moving slowly around the words, that placid gaze never once leaving the crude crystal nor the scene playing out within. "Two front-line fighters coupled with a support, walking about in broad daylight. Fresh fruit, ripe for the picking. The enemy won't be able to resist. From what little we know of them, they're likely to send Servants of their own to determine our strength. Two at the least, possibly three. This way, you and I will be safely out of harms way while we assess their weakness, yet still able to give orders of our own. Then when the time comes, we can join the fray and be prepared for the next battle. Brilliant, no?"

"Still doesn't sit right with me."

"Suck it up, cupcake." Rum purred.

"Ouch." he whistled. "Forgot about that sharp tongue of yours."

Jean clicked her teeth at him in light warning. "Shall I remind you, then?"

"No, no, I'm good." the scarred magus raised his right hand to ward off pleasant memories. They'd been more than allies, once and their friendship had endured despite that. Truly, he couldn't have found a better partner in this war. Now, if only he could convince her to let him have his wish...

"I'm sorry...am I interrupting?"

A distant clamor claimed their attention, punctuated by a soft yawn; moments later Ruler finally made her presence known to them as she glided into the room. Though her hair was still tousled from sleep-suggesting she'd simply opted to take a nap rather than endure Naruto's shenanigans any longer-the armored blond still projected an air of quiet stoicism. Those deep violet eyes remained clouded however, their owner deep in thought. Then she spied Jack and a spark of confusion danced through that lilac gaze. The latter retaliated with a cheery wave.

"Ah, the sleeping beauty stirs at last." Jean hummed. "We were beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up."

"Morning~!" Assassin chirruped happily.

"Sleep well?" Kairi waggled a thick brow at her.

Startled out of her reverie, the blond offered a rapid blink and bobbed her head.

"Yes," she murmured hastily. "Thank you for your hospitality."

Jeanne smirked.

"We weren't too loud?"

 _'Oi, now! Are you trying to provoke her?!'_

The slightest twitch passed through Ruler's serene visage, gone before either magus could claim it had even existed.

"My rest was...sufficient." She relented with a humble bow. "I will be taking my leave shortly."

"Already?" Jack whined. "I wanted to play!"

"Perhaps next time."

There it was again, that strange stiffness in Ruler's shoulders. It wasn't anger or sorrow, Kairi noted. One might hearken it to confusion. As though Ruler couldn't decided how best to speak to Assassin. It seemed a strange hangup for one elevated to Sainthood. In any case, that was none of his concern. It was as if such a conflicted emotion could possibly tear her apart. This was a Servant after all. She was built of sterner stuff than most.

"Aw." Jack sighed, her shoulder drooping in defeat.

Putting her discomfort for Assassin aside, one couldn't help but be at ease around Ruler. Even Sisigou found it something of an effort to keep his guard up. Perhaps it had something to do with her being a saint? Berserker had been-much to Jeanne's chagrin-terribly forthcoming about her identity. The legendary Maiden of Orleans herself. What had he said about her, again? Something about her being too pure for her own good. She'd even gone out of her way to thank them when she could've easily slipped away without a word. Someone like this could no sooner stab them in the back than she could forsake her own beliefs. Moreover, she was bound by the rules of the Grail itself to be impartial. So long as that belief wasn't corroded, they had nothing to fear from her.

A low grumbled rose in vicious dissent.

Well, perhaps her _appetite._

As the unlikely trio looked on a faint flush crept up across Jeanne's face. Indeed, the slow flushing of her saintly visage was something Sisigou would take to his grave. It almost made him want to bully her more often. Ah. He'd almost forgotten. Ruler possessed a physical body, didn't she? Berserker had mentioned that in passing. She likely had to eat to sustain her physical form in this world. Poor thing. She'd really drawn a bad hand in this war. Was it wrong that Kairi felt sorry for her, now?

"We've got a bit of breakfast left over." he offered. "Want some?"

"I couldn't possibly impugn further on your generosity than I already have-

Ruler's stomach offered another plaintive whine of disagreement, far louder than the last.

...I suppose I can stay a moment more." she averted her gaze, face downcast to hide her silent shame. "While I'm here, I wish to inquire about something."

"About Berserker?" Jean tilted her head.

"I confess myself curious, did you summon him intentionally?"

"I know about as much as you do." Rum replied with a small shrug. "Probably less, given the eyes he's been making at you. He's surprisingly fickle, that one. Its not like I _expected_ to pull him in any case." She waved her marked hand about airily for emphasis. "Frankly I would've preferred the Caster class. Easier to control and all that. Still," That bespectacled gaze shifted then, regarding the seals imprinted upon the back of her palm with something dangerously akin to nostalgia. "He's been good to me thus far. When I give a bad order he'll tell me so straight to my face. He even went so far as to save Jack, when he had no need to. I won't give him up without a fight, you know. You'll have to work for it."

Jeanne absolutely sputtered.

 _"Hweh?!"_

"Relax, I'm kidding!" the magus laughed and lowered her hand. "You're cute when your flustered."

"Aha! Did Naruto put you up to this?!" Jeanne demanded.

...he might have." the magus relented, passing her a pale of dried bacon.

"Neh, neh!" Assassin piped up suddenly, drawing all eyes to her. "If Naruto Onii-chan's papa...

Ruler stiffened. Too late, Kairi realized what was about to transpire before them.

"Assassin, whatever you're about to say, do NOT-

Those innocent orbs swiveled upon Jean Rum.

 _...does that make you our mama, then?"_

Jean went pale as a fresh sheet.

Foolishly, Kairi snickered.

Ruler squeaked.

 _Doom._

"Ho?"

An aura of palpable malice radiated from the the Gale Wheel's shoulders, threatening to smother him if he looked her in the eye. A strange, lilting laugh arose from his companion to set him on edge. No. He couldn't bring himself to look. Rather, he _mustn't_ look. To meet Rum's gaze now would be akin to setting off a nuclear warhead. The only thing that awaited him at the end of that road was a swift demise. Moreover, if he moved now he was almost certain Jean would attack him. He had to be still. A silent stone in the river, unyielding, unmoving, utterly unyielding to anything-

"Sisigou," Jean purred softly, "Did you laugh at me, just now?"

In the end, temptation finally won out and he looked up.

"In my defense, I wasn't expecting that-URK?!"

Jean's fist barreled upward into his face.

Ruler groaned softly to herself.

"Lord preserve me...

* * *

 **(XxXxXx)**

* * *

 _Madness._

Absolute madness. Try as he might Darnic couldn't comprehend what he was looking at; indeed, to understand the enemy's plan one would have to be insane...or exceedingly sentimental. As he was neither of these things-nor could he ever hope to be-the head of the Yggdmillennia clan found himself at something of an impasse. To say he was displeased would be akin to calling water wet, an understatement in the purest sense of the word. With each passing moment his ire grew, sparking towards an inevitable conclusion.

This!

Made!

No! Sense!

He, Darnic Prestone Yggdmillennia had scraped, slashed and struggled to stand where he stood now. Decades of planning had led to this moment. He'd fought in countless battles. Stolen the Holy Grail itself and used it as leverage to break away from the Association. It was he who had manipulated the terms of this war, he who had bolstered the ranks of his clan in preparation for the coming battle, and _he_ who stood to gain from it all. Now they stood at a critical juncture; on the cusp of acquiring all the mysteries and miracles of this world. Reaching the root. Their long cherished dream was finally within reach. All that remained was for the enemy to make their move and come to them, as they must.

Black vs Red.

Now, thanks in no small part to Caster's skilled scrying he and a number of the Black Faction finally beheld their foes for the first time. One of them had tripped a bounded field near the town, thereby enabling Avicebron to utilize one of his familiars to observe the enemy Servants from afar. Three of them no less. One was easily recognized as Berserker of Red; the same staggering fool who'd invaded their castle some days ago, accosted their own Berserker and made off with a bottle of wine before turning to smoke under Lancer's assault. The others remained unknown to them, but one could easily surmise them to be Archer and Saber judging by their armaments.

A formidable trio indeed.

Yet they weren't doing anything!

Rather than approach the castle they'd spent the last two hours waltzing through town like utter fools! Imbeciles, with no purpose in mind! Of their Masters there remained no sign. Of course. Only a fool would willingly throw themselves in harms way They'd either sent their familiars ahead, concealed themselves with thaumaturgy, or blended among the populace with such skill that any attempt to root them out would prove fruitless.

To make matters worse, the Grail had become increasingly erratic as of late.

It had taken to pulsing at strange intervals, almost akin to that of a human heart. They couldn't figure out the cause. From the moment Berserker had invaded the Greater Grail began to react. Violently. Perhaps it was just that-impatient. Hungry for the energy that the slain Servants would provide. Whatever the case, it wasn't something they could address now. If the situation worsened perhaps then they might be able to do something but as the situation stood there was simply nothing they could so.

Just what was the enemy plotting?

"So he lives after all." a low, regal voice cast its shadow over his thoughts. "Surprising."

Masking his own concern, Darnic feigned a bow.

"It is as you say, my lord."

Lowering his head, he watched his Servant rise from the throne to survey the screen.

The man's face was a study of contrasts; though those bright eyes were indeed tight with anger, the faintest of smiles adorned his pale visage. He seemed almost...pleased by this unexpected revelation. Indeed, the magus recognized a kindred spirit in those terrifying orbs-respect for an enemy. Something had caught his interest. No, _someone._

"Hmmph." Lancer rumbled, thumbing his chin. "That is our intruder, is it not?" When no dared challenge him that small, spry smirk tore into a true grin. "I suspected as much. I'm surprised a petty thief could survive my attack...

Darnic preened.

 _This_ was the absolute trump card of the Black Faction, a Servant so absurdly overpowered as to be able to scorn the gods themselves. Vlad Tepes III. They'd gone to great lengths to summon him here in his homeland, where he stood at the absolute peak of his power. Romania may be a small country but it was here that Lancer was truly in his prime, his element. Transylvania was his territory; so long as he remained within, one might even think him invincible. That he had a bone to pick with Berserker of Red was simply icing on the cake as far as Darnic was concerned. After all, it wasn't every day that a _thieving wretch_ invaded a lord's castle and lived to tell the tale.

Vlad likely wished to kill Berserker as a matter of pride. Honor demanded it.

That suited Darnic just fine. He'd happily let the two of them tear one another to shreds. Two men-no, monsters masquerading as men. There was certainly some irony to be had there. In a fit of whimsy he almost sicced Lancer on Red's Berserker outright, but thought better of it at the last moment. No, better to keep him close. Command Spells were precious and not to be wasted wantonly.

Certainly not if he were ever to make Lancer use _that._

Moreover, it was important that his Servant believe himself to be in control for the moment. Nothing was further from the truth of course-for Darnic saw him as little more than a familiar-but the ruse remained regardless. Though the years may have dulled his spirit, his silver tongue still remained sharp. So long as Vlad thought otherwise, his scheme would unfold as planned.

Berserker, meanwhile, stiffened in quiet consternation.

 _'Berserker of Red...that...idiot! What is he thinking?!'_

Perhaps it was a side effect of their encounter, but her thoughts had proven-to her great distress-increasingly coherent as of late. Almost frightfully so. While speech was still denied to her-and thank small mercies for that one!-she found herself terribly, accursedly, sane.

Enough to rage at him, certainly!

And yet she would not.

Only her Master could sense her discontent, but she refused to divulge the reason to him. Caules might wonder what had riled her up, yet without a voice, she could never tell him. Her _thoughts_ were another matter. She wanted to reach through the screen and throttle that blond buffoon! He'd wandered into their territory without even noticing! Wait. Maybe he had. Was that why he'd brought reinforcements? Or was he simply that naive? A tangled knot of emotion writhed in her stomach at the thought. Try as she might she couldn't untangle it. Berserker of Red-Naruto!-was the enemy; someone who must be defeated. By right, she shouldn't care what happened to him.

And yet she could not.

It made no sense! She barely knew him. Indeed, she owed him nothing. Less than nothing. He'd given her wilting flowers and a smile. A few kind words in parting. An offer of peace. Nothing concrete beyond that. He had not asked for her loyalty and while she _certainly_ wasn't about to give it to him, neither could she banish that smiling face from her mind. She should hate him. Loathe him! He'd done... _something_ to her mind, an act that threatened to bring her memories back and all the pain with them. She ought to find him and grind his skull beneath her heel, obliterate him with her Blasted Tree...!

And yet she did not.

 _'WHY?!'_

Exasperated, she tore at her hair in a fit of pique and shrieked her fury to the ceiling.

 **"AAAAAARGH!"**

"Agreed, Berserker. He certainly isn't the subtle type." Archer seconded.

Fran nearly clobbered his head off in recompense for his temerity.

 _'That wasn't what I said and you **know** it, shitty centaur!'_

"Think he's challenging us?" Rider tilted her head.

 _'Hell if I know! I don't understand him!'_

Lancer offered a noncommittal grunt of his own. "Perhaps he wishes to lure us out, then."

"This is a trap, clearly." Caster's masked face betrayed no hint of emotion as he regarded the strange scene unfolding before them. "They expect us to come for them."

Perhaps sensing that very thought, the red one turned. Wild blue eyes rose to find the familiar and by extension, those watching. Whiskered cheeks dimpled in a sly smile. Clawed fingers crooked in a come-hither motion, beckoning at the clay pigeon as much as those observing through its lone eye. Perhaps triggered by the motion Caster's creation zoomed in upon the cloaked warrior, further exposing his face to view. Despite the leagues separating them, in spite of his entourage and the nearby Servants well within arms reach, Berserker felt a subtle chill race down her spine. There was a fierce light in those azure orbs, the look of a beast tethered upon a fraying leash, one she prayed he himself would never face.

Then those lips parted for her, framing three simple words.

"Come. Get. Us."

As she looked on a knife flew from his hand with unerring accuracy to strike Caster's familiar head on, sending the screen-and likely the familiar with it-shrieking into static. A beat of silence followed, broken only the stray squawk of noise as the creature tried-and-failed to reconstruct itself. In that fleeting instant Berserker almost dared to hope her fellow Servants-and the rest of the Black Faction alongside them-would simply drop the matter and let them do as they pleased.

It was not to be.

"HA!"

A harsh laugh belted out of Lancer, startling all assembled.

"How amusing!" Rather than greet the interruption with anger as one might expect of their leader, he bellowed out a hearty cackle, mouth stretching in a crazed smile all his own. "Perhaps he isn't a thief at all, but an invader! One who welcomes adversity with open arms! He wouldn't be a worthy opponent if he could die from something like this!"

"Do we have more in the area?" Darnic inquired softly as Lancer continued to shout his adversary's praises.

"A handful." Avicebron relented. "I can ready another group shortly if need be."

"Send a few golems and homunculi then-

"No! Wait until evening." Vlad interjected forcefully before Darnic could finish the command. "We wouldn't want to upset the good people of Trifas now, would we? Still, it would be remiss of us if we didn't send someone to greet the three of them." At some unseen thought, he nodded to himself. "Yes, that settles it, then. I shall take the field myself to meet him! He will rue the day he set foot here! But I cannot do so alone." Without missing a beat, he turned to face the rest of them. Boots clicked sharply against the stone, arms spread wide at his sides.

Frankenstein went rigid.

"Might I have another volunteer?" Vlad inquired.

"Oooh! Me, me, me~!" Rider chirruped! "I volunteer!"

"Hmmph. You seem awfully eager, Astolfo." Celenike frowned.

"Geh! There it is again! That look!" the pinkette flinched and tried to hide in her voluminous cloak. Needless to say she failed spectacularly. "I'm just...eager! To go outside!" When her Master's glare intensified she flailed her arms wildly, nearly brandishing her lance in her haste to escape from that sadistic gaze. "Yes! That's it! No ulterior motives at all! Nope! None!"

...very well."

To Berserker's dismay, Saber of Black stepped forth as well.

"I confess, I am curious about this Berserker of Red. Might I join you?"

"What are you doing, Saber?!" Gordes sputtered. "I gave you no such permission!"

Siegfried, that great silent hero who had spoken so little since his summoning, only inclined his head in respect.

"Respectfully, Master, this is something I wish to do. Please understand. I will not allow harm to befall you in any way."

As the rest of the Black Faction looked on, the portly man's face began to turn an alarming shade of puce. Fran wondered if the round magus would pop from sheer anger. Was such a thing possible? If so, it might prove diverting enough to distract her from her own woes. She rather disliked this fool; a heart of gold he might well have, but it was buried beneath an ego the size of Trifas and a pride thrice as thick. Would it be too much to ask for him to spit himself upon Saber's sword and spare them all the pain of his continued existence?

"You ungrateful familiar-

"Enough!" Darnic snapped, silencing him. "I'll allow it."

 _"Tch!"_

Aaaaaand just like Fran wanted to bash her head against a wall all over again. Rider and her eccentricities aside, two of the Black Faction's most powerful Servants had just declared their intent towards her would-be ally. Legend or no, allies or not, she knew Berserker would be hard-pressed to fend them off. Lancer was the true threat here; if he took it into his head to go after Berserker there was nothing she could do about it. To volunteer for battle now would likely end in rejection No matter how prized their prey might be, their Masters surely wouldn't send more than half their Servants to deal with them.

This...boded most poorly.

"Very well then!" There was a high, wild light to Vlad's gaze, one his Master recognized far too late as...dare he say bloodlust? No, to speak such a thing would surely end with his head on a spike. "Tonight we three shall be joined in battle! Let us take the fight to the invaders, my soldiers!" For better or worse Berserker's little "outing" had little a fire under the normally stoic Servant, one he had no hope of dousing with anything short of a Command Spell. The elder Yggdmillennia groaned aloud, the sound muffled against his palms.

Just like that, his great plan was rendered little more than sand.

How? _How_ had the situation gotten so out of hand?

Then again, who could predict a madman?

* * *

 **(XxXxXx)**

* * *

 _"So? How do I look?"_

...you're a cruel one, Saber."

"Ha? What the hell're ya talking about?"

A muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw, throbbing alongside three veins in his temple as he gazed at the natural vision beauty strutting before him. An eye twitched, fighting the reflexive urge to slam shut. In that moment his heightened senses were keenly aware of their surroundings; from the thinning yellow paint of a worn wall pressing against his back, to the curious patrons gazing at them, even their less-than-pleasant whispers. But most apt of all were the questing aqua orbs eyes of the blond before him awaiting his answer with more than a touch of impatience.

Still, he mustn't flinch.

Pearly white teeth flashed back at him in an wild grin, devoid of any guile or tact, innocent to a fault. No. _Too innocent._ Even someone like Mordred couldn't pull off that look without being at least _peripherally_ aware of what they were doing. He wasn't fooled for a moment by Mordred's supposed faux pas; he knew the wrong answer would land him in a world of pain. Hell, the correct response might evoke an equivocal response from Saber. No, to back down now wold not only be an insult to men everywhere, but it would irreparably sunder what remained of his pride. To yield here would be as good as admitting defeat, thereby cementing her victory.

Wasn't it?

She couldn't possibly be that naive...right?

 _'Gods above, why do you assail me with this temptation?!'_

In this moment he was keenly aware of Mordred's eyes upon him. He resisted the urge to facepalm.

After Saber's behest he'd finally caved and purchased an outfit for her. It was...not what he'd expected her to wear.

As he looked on, his companion stretched her arms to the heavens and gave a happy twirl, sending the back of her coat flying about her shoulders.

"Ahhhh! Much better~!" she purred, stretching her limbs to their fullest length. "This is the best! I was _way_ too uncomfortable in that armor! You have no idea!"

"I have some inkling, actually." Naruto groaned.

So focused was he that he nearly missed her reply:

"Your outfit ain't half bad either...

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"N-Nothing!"

That actually drew a blink from him. He hadn't given his present outfit much thought, clad as he was in a crimson turtleneck and matching black jeans. Something simple, not meant to draw attention. Of course any hope of _that_ had flown right out the window with Mordred's outfit. Part of him silently prayed that would be the end of it. Mordred had already spent half the day simply searching for something to wear, to the point that Atalanta had eventually drifted off in search of their long-awaited meal. Was it too much to ask for this to be over already?

He knew it wouldn't be.

Saber wasn't finished with him yet; as he looked on, she shifted her profile to present one shoulder to him and began kicking awkwardly at a nearby rack of clothes. The sudden change in posture set off alarm bells in Naruto's head, triggering fond memories of a past life he'd all but forgotten. If he hadn't known better he would've thought she was blushing-wait. Keen eyes zeroed in on her face, detecting the faintest flush. Where in blazes had Atalanta gotten off to? He'd gladly give up his knee again for a distraction right now. The last thing he wanted to go was set Mordred off in such an enclosed space, least of all with civilians nearby.

"So?" she pressed, tapping her foot impatiently. "Whaddya think? Does it suit me?"

 _"Surprisingly."_

"The hell does that mean?!"

Damn. He'd seen the trap, still fallen right into it.

What a drag. It was shaping up to be such a nice day, too...

His plan had been a basic one; almost frightful in its simplicity. Unite Saber and Archer by allowing them to think they had the upper hand on him, thereby eliminating the animosity between them. Put up a token struggle to make his protests seem somewhat believable, then allow them to haul him about the town for the day while subtle conducting reconnaissance. After all, battles were oftentimes won or lost based on trust and that very trust had been sorely lacking between the two women. By all rights everything should've gone off without a hitch. Playing the fool always came easily to him ever since his youth-it was a guise he could don and discard as easily as one would a change of clothes.

At some point, however, they'd turned the tables on him.

Clad in a white tube top that exposed her abdomen to the elements and a scarlet leather jacket, Saber seemed the epitome of the rebel that had so defined her legend in the past. Coupled with a shorn pair of rough blue jeans-the latter cut sinfully short well above her knees-and heavy black boots she rather reminded him of some offbeat gangster. Honestly, all she needed now was a bat to complete the ensemble. All told, there was a certain tomboyish charm to her outfit. Every stitch, every thread, everything accentuated the subtle lines of her body in ways that clothing _had no business doing._ If she was at all chilly, she didn't seem keen on telling him. How anyone could wear that in _autumn_ without freezing was beyond him but he likely chalked up to her own elite class as a Servant.

Therein lie the crux of the matter.

When clad in her heavy armor it was easy to forgot that-despite her protests-that Mordred was a woman. He could poke and prod her to his hearts content, tease her while fully knowing he could escape any retribution that came howling his way. But now...something had shifted in their dynamic and he wasn't sure how to address it. At the end of the day, Servant or no, Naruto was still very much a man and this was...distracting. Not enough to prove dangerous mind you, yet there it was. Not that Mordred was unattractive, mind. He simply knew she'd try to skewer him if ever called her a girl. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out if she was doing this to tease him...or if she was simply that naive when it came to clothing.

 _Fine._

Mordred wanted to be like that?

Two could play this wicked little game of hers.

He'd likely get his share of lumps for this later, but...

...in the interim, perhaps it was time he had a little fun of his own.

 _'Screw it.'_ he decided. _'I'll tease her a little. Not a lie if there's a kernel of truth in it...alright, a very LARGE kernel..._

"Means yer fucking gorgeous." Naruto drawled, pushing himself off the wall to face Saber fully. When she failed to retreat in time he advanced further still, until her back was nearly in the very booth from which she'd only just emerged and pressed his forehead against hers until their noses nearly touched. Mordred bristled at once at the sudden invasion of her personal space, but he wasn't yet finished with her. Before she could strike the ancient shinobi leaned further still and snatched the band from her hair, sending the flaxen locks tumbling wildly around her ears. For the pièce de résistance he allowed his lips to brush the outer lobe of her right one teasingly.

"In fact," he breathed huskily, "I think I'm falling in love. Marry me."

Saber's.

Eyes.

Got.

Really.

 _Big._

Hmm. Naruto hadn't thought it possible for someone-let alone a Servant such as Saber-to turn that shade of pink. Let alone their entire body. While her mouth worked wordlessly, he found he had a moment to reflect on his decision. Not a bad look on her. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't attractive. Thoughts for later, he supposed. In any case he found himself suddenly and wholly preoccupied by her response. Ah, and what a response it was...

BOOT!

 _'Worth it!'_

An armored foot slammed into Naruto's chest with all the explosive force of a bucking bronco to catapult the cackling ninja out of the store. He was still laughing as glass shattered around him, when several female customers start shrieking in falsetto, still laughing as he skidded back-first across the stone street and ripped his turtleneck to red shreds around his shoulders, and still laughing as his Servant attire manifested over the ruined dregs of his clothes. At the garments passing, he felt just a sliver of remorse.

"Aw, man! I liked that outfit!" he groaned. "Why must the good die young?!"

The distant sound of shifting rubble claimed his attention.

Framed in the light of the setting sun, Mordred snarled at him. Honestly, Naruto would've been somewhat worried, were it not for her spinning eyes and the crimson flush adorning her face. All in all? He considered it a win if only to get under the rebellious knight's skin. At least she gave him enough time to climb back to his feet before she started cussing him out. Pity about the sweater, though.

"W-W-W-What the hell, Zombie?! Where did that come from?!"

"What? Afraid of a little honesty?" his grin grew incrementally as steam spouted from her face. "You really are pretty when you're flustered ya know. Oh! Your hair's down too. Not a bad look for a gir-

"ShutupshutupSHADDAP!"

Sure enough an armored fist streaked down at his jaw at breakneck speed. Well. He'd expected her to try and punch his head clear off his shoulders. It really was a _good_ punch all things considered; she'd crossed the distance between the two of them in a blink and attacked with all the speed bellying a Saber class Servant. Such a strike would've rendered an ordinary human-and a few weaker servants on the throne-little more than a red stain against the street. By comparison to her earlier attack however, _this_ strike proved painfully sloppy. And slow. Terribly, woefully slow. Likely had something to do with her flustered state, at that. A gentle nudge to said wrist sent those clenched knuckles careening harmlessly past to spare his face.

 _Not so the building behind him._

With a devastating crunch the unfortunate home yielded to Mordred's punch like a house of cards; that is to say it absolutely crumbled. Berserker and Saber both, each looked on aghast as the building tumbled down around their ears. Neither sustained any injuries of course-naturally a Servant couldn't be felled by something as base as chunk of falling masonry-but the same couldn't be said for anyone-assuming their luck was truly that abysmal-unfortunate enough to be caught up in the ensuing avalanche of stone. In no time at all, both blondes were left standing amidst the ruins of that once-humble home.

Really, the conclusion was patently obvious.

"Oh, crap."

Seizing her hand in his, Naruto bolted.

"Right, right, that's our cue. Exit stage left!"

"Oi, wait! What if there were people in there, dumbass?!" Mordred squawked!

"Didn't sense anyone! 'Sides, a king does not pay for things that are _not_ her fault! Onward!"

"You absolute ba-HEY!" Saber started as she recognized his palm clasping hers, "Let go of my hand! I'll cut you, ya damn undead!"

"Let me think about that. Nope."

In a sense it felt oddly refreshing to simply sprint away from danger as the common folk did. Either of them could have simply leaped-or in Mordred's case dematerialized-to safety without consequence. Yet they didn't. It could even be said that they _chose_ not to. One was reminded of happier times before their untimely demise, the other simply enjoyed the chance to stretch their legs again. Few paid them any mind-even given their odd state of dress, confounded as they were by the chaos. By the time they'd reached the sun had long since dipped below the horizon, the faintest tongues of flames serving only to illuminated a series of looming clouds in the distance. A dull rumble of thunder chased through the heavens, promising rain.

Rain.

Of course.

Just like that day.

Naruto felt his jaw clench against a particularly unpleasant memory. He shook his head in a vain attempt to ward it off, to no avail. His good mood evaporated on the spot, sullied by images of his past. Though his life had been a full one, there were still some things he'd rather forget-no! Bad Naruto! Focus!

"Well, that was unfortunate." he sighed and began tugging Mordred-who'd fallen oddly silent-down a side street. "Let's find Atalanta before it pours, eh?"

A sharp jerk on his arm hauled him backwards before he made three steps.

"Oi! You trying to tear my arm off or some-

Mordred hadn't released his hand.

"What in blazes...?"

Eyes downcast, eyes shaded by those freed flaxen locks, he couldn't read Sabetrs expression. Nevertheless, her mouth moved as he looked on, mumbling a series of incoherent words that his enhanced senses somehow failed to detect. Teasing her was tempting, but a small voice in his head advised against it. Something told her that if he tried poking _that_ dragon now, he'd lose that finger and an arm besides. Straining his ears, he caught the tail end of her sentence.

...ank you." she muttered.

"Eh? Saber-san? Wanna run that by me aga-ACK?!"

 _Clunk._

Her head slammed up into his chin, nearly causing the whiskered warrior to bite off his tongue in midspeak.

"Gack! Do you hab any idea how hawd it is to regenerate ma tonguwe?!"

"I said thank you, ya ass! StupudidiotzombiejustDIE!"

"Fuck're you thanking me for?!" he groaned, clutching at his mouth with his free hand.

"The clothes, damnit!" a finger stabbed into his face, momentarily causing him to pause. "A king always pays her debts!"

"But you're technically not a-

 _"Bitch, I will cut you!"_

"Alright, alright!" conceding the point, Naruto raised his free hand to forestall another assault. "I'll stop." his eyes flitted to their palms, her fingers still gripped white-knuckled around his. "Can I have my hand back now? I'm starting to lose circulation ya know...

He expected a sputtering blush of some sort, not the mulish defiance that greeted him.

Instead, Saber's hand clamped down harder still.

"No." she replied.

"Eh?"

"You're not getting your arm back until _I_ get that meal you owe me. So, there!" Preening at what she no doubt believed to be a brilliant plan, Mordred proudly thrust out her chest and grinned. "Consider it payback for all that you've put me through. Just try and break free! I won't let you! You're mine now, Zombie! Ha!" Even a peon would've seen through her blatant bluff.

A beat of awkward silence passed between the two warriors.

...you _really_ wanna hold hands, dont'cha?"

"Idiot! Don't read into it so much!"

 _'Such a tsundere..._

Her earnestness was adorable.

If she knew, she'd gut him on the spot.

"S-So!" coughing into a fist, Saber spun about, eyeing a nearby storefront. "Where's a good place to eat around here after dark?"

"You're asking me?" Naruto openly guffawed at her naivete; he simply couldn't help himself. That pure look in those aqua orbs was simply too much for him to bear any longer. "I thought you knew! Everything's probably closed by now thanks to your little rampage!"

"Noooooo!" she whined. "They've gotta have a place open! I'm friggin' starving!"

"The Knight of Rebellion, ladies and gentlemen! A true glutton!"

"Quiet!" Saber snarled. "Hmm, lets go...this way!"

In the end, he allowed her to have her say.

There was something painfully nostalgic about being led around by the arm all told; even if it was an exercise in futility.

From the moment they'd set foot in Sighisoara, he'd experienced the strangest sensation of being watched. Someone-or something-was surveying them from afar. Another familiar most likely. He'd already dispatched one earlier that morning, but the eerie feeling of eyes boring into his back hadn't abated in the least. Now doubt even now hidden creatures were observing their every action and in turn reporting back to its master. Assuming his pact with Semiramis still held, the likely culprit ought to be Caster of Black. That suited him just fine. While he would've preferred to simply smoke out the enemy Servant and thereby cease this game of hide and seek, he had no doubt that they'd make their move eventually. He had no doubt Archer and Saber were likewise aware of their unwanted admirers, though neither had said a word of it.

Until then he was content to play this mad little game until the bitter end.

"Well, we know the enemy is in Trifas, so we'll need to be...be...

His words trailed off as he spied Atalanta down the street.

By comparison to Mordred her choice of dress was relatively conservative; after all, Saber had basically bullied her into securing an outfit of her own at the outset of their excursion. At the time, he'd thought it a shame. Even in her Servant attire she could've easily passed for human. With a large hat to hide her ears and her tail curled against her back, he might've thought her a normal woman. She was the sort that _loathed_ wearing anything even remotely feminine, yet she'd claimed something all the same. The long, flowing blue dress she'd chosen for herself was so adorable that it physically snapped Naruto's head back and gave him a nosebleed on the spot.

 _'Ack! Critical hit! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!'_

Spying them at last the Archer raised a hand in greeting.

"There you are. I was beginning to think you'd wandered off again." Her verdant gaze took note of their intertwined hands, but if she had any comment on the matter, she didn't remark on it. Instead she cast a distasteful glance at her own figure and the dress adorning it. "I fail to see the purpose of this...outfit. It is stiff. Ungainly. Difficult to move in." With a low growl she dispersed it, discarding the corporeal garment in favor of her true attire. "Do the women of this era fight in such flimsy cloth?"

"Really?" Naruto tilted his head, unable to mask his smile. "That looked kinda fetching on you."

THUNK.

A bolt whistled past his head, causing him to jump and jerk free from Mordred. Sure enough, when he turned to face Atalanta he found himself gazing upon her deadly bow. Ah, the pains of being a Berserker. He'd gone and run his mouth again without thinking. Sometimes that damn Madness Enhancement just wasn't worth it. Curse his lack of inhibition!

"What'd I do?! I only said that side of you was-

A trio of arrows thudded home beside his ear before he could finish.

"Well, shit." the blond gulped out. Don't suppose you'd accept an apology?"

Atalanta knocked a quartet of fresh arrows to her supple bowstring and drew back.

"I'm going to give you a five second head-start, Naruto." she warned. "I suggest you take it."

Honestly, if she hadn't been smiling he would've thought she genuinely intended to kill him! Crazy woman!

"You think you're being cute, don't you?" he groaned, palming his face.

Atalatna's visage didn't waver in the least. "To quote a proud man...bitch, I'm adorable."

Naruto actually blinked. Wait, wait, wait WAIT. "Oh, no, no, no! You did _not_ just Team Four Star me!"

He would have said more, but his senses chose that precise moment to light up like wildfire. No, a wildfire was too tame. This...it was a veritable explosion of prana, a force so great that it momentarily set his senses to reeling. And it was far, far, _far_ closer than he would've liked. Judging by his comrade's suddenly pensive expressions, even that was an understatement.

"They're right behind me, aren't they?"

In response, Mordred grimaced and drew her blade.

Slowly, reluctantly, he turned to face the outskirts of town.

"You're kidding me." he croaked.

Much to his surprise-and utter consternation-they numbered three.

One an effeminate warrior clad in strange armor and cape alike, upon her shoulder cradled a massive lance.

The other was a great brute of a man, silver hair tumbling down armored shoulders, though his chest and back lay exposed. It was this man that set off alarm bells. Rather, the sword in his hand. Though its owner was indeed a great mount of of a man, it was his weapon that truly set him on edge. Every fiber of his being recoiled from the sight of it; no, it was the anathema to his very existence. A peerless Noble Phantasm that would surely obliterate him should it make contact. This, then, must be Saber of Black.

"Oh fuck me! You're telling THAT'S their Saber?!"

In the midst of them both rode a man clad in dark black vestments, astride an equally menacing comparison to his companions he radiated raw power, a sheer sense of presence bellied by his slim frame. One might even call it an aura, an invisible war of sheer will that promised to trample all who would oppose him. As they approached he dismounted and drew a slender lance from the air.

"Greetings, invaders!" his deep, resonant voice carried the distance between them. "I am Vlad the Third! Ruler of this country! Whom do I have the honor of addressing?"

Naruto groaned.

Really, it was all he could think to do.

"You're...not going to let us run away, are you?"

Lancer-for he could only be that class-rewarded him with a grim smile.

"Dibs on the big guy!" Mordred all but purred, drawing her blade. "Need to work out some issues."

Siegfried actually paled.

Atalanta sighed.

"I suppose that leaves me with the pink one."

The enemy Servant blinked, taking aback. "Geh, what's wrong with the color pink?!"

 _...everything."_

"Hey!" Astolfo cried. "Now you're just being mean!"

"I suppose that leaves you with...Lancer, was it?" Archer posited. "Was this your plan all along?"

"Well...

Much to her consternation, the blond actually grimaced. Well, he did have a plan that he'd been saving for a moment like this...it was quite brilliant, even if his allies might not like it. He'd been hoping to lure out one Servant, maybe two, not that absolute MONSTER of a Lancer, certainly not someone possessing enough Prana for an entire country! Nope, nope, nope! Fuck that! He didn't have nearly enough energy to face down a monster like this!

...I hate to be that guy, but...

Sure enough when Atalanta turned she found a vacant pocket of air where Berserker had once stood. Across the way she spied his red cloak, rapidly retreating into the distance. Neither she, nor Mordred were prepared for the response that followed.

"RUN AWAY!"

"Oi, what the hell?!"

Atlanta nearly shot him on the spot.

"Berserker! Come back here you coward!"

To his credit, Naruto actually made it several yards before a wave of what could only be called _bloodied stakes_ thrust themselves between him and escape. Really, it would've been a successful break if he'd been able to build a bit more speed, but there it was. Forced to turn back lest he dash himself on the sudden garrison of stone spears, he, quite suddenly, found himself face to face with the very Servant he'd sought to escape. That said servant was currently poised upon a small _mountain_ of the very spires he'd been seeking to avoid...well...that boded ill. Indeed, those wild eyes no longer held that touch of amusement, but of quiet, simmering wrath.

"Eh, worth a try...?"

The silence proved stifling.

"I...don't suppose you'd be willing to draw up a truce?"

Lancer absolutely twitched. "I'm going to kill you now. _Prepare."_

Berserker gulped and settled into a low stance. "Yeah, I'd say that's fair...

He'd barely finished even that before his world erupted into a thousand jagged points.

 **A/N: Yup, got a little bonkers there at the end.**

 **There's gonna be a huge battle next chapter!**

 **Gonna say it now, Mordred is adorable.**

 **Don't tell her I said that.**

 **Weren't expecting an update this soon, were ya?!**

 **I've been delaying Sieg out of guilt really; I feel for the little Homunculus, really, I do. He simply doesn't have a place in this chapter. Hemming him in would be pointless here when we're focused on the Servants and their masters.**

 **Speaking of Masters! I'll say it plain, Celenike and Gordes might meet a different fate this time around...**

 **...it won't be pretty for one of them at the very least.**

 **At this point everyone has their Command Spells and none have wasted them.**

 **Of course I'm not going to see the rest of the homunculi beaten and abused. Worry not, I have plans for them.**

 **Lets clarify something here since one or two people have asked me about it; Atalanta is gradually diverging from her vow to the gods at this time. Yes, GRADUALLY. A certain "event" or meeting a certain"person" may cause her to forsake them entirely. Some fans know what I speak of, but I won't spoil things.** **Hell, we may even see her become her "Alter" self as things stand. Again, there are many paths-and thereby multiple endings-with this story.** **It may well be one of the few with an alternative ending at that.**

 **If there's one talent Naruto has-besides the vaunted "talk no jutsu"-its turning enemies into allies...and sometimes more.**

 **Now for the sake of clarity I'll explain the state of things as far as the relationships go.**

 **When I say that, I mean what Naruto thinks of the _girls_ and then _their_ feelings: **

**Jack= Daughter/Father.**

 **Jean=Master/Servant.**

 **Jeanne= Ally/Enigma.**

 **Mordred= Partner/Potential Love Interest.**

 **Atalanta= Ally/Friend.**

 **Semiramis= Pity/Neutral.**

 **Frankenstein= Sibling/#% & ?**

 **Astolfo= Are You Kidding me?!/WHO THE HELL IS HE?!**

 **At this time Mordred is the only one who's really starting to fall for Naruto; because they've had the most interactions and present. Mentally speaking, they're a lot alike. The relationships will NOT be rushed. Some might take more time than others. Love is rarely instant, bonds are something established through blood and battle, so on and so forth...**

 **...but hate is also a powerful thing.**

 **I'll say it plain, don't expect Naruto to forgive Shirou in this story. In his mind what he's doing is no different from that of Madara. And our boy just can't forgive that. He has to kill him. A far as he's concerned, there's no other way. As Berserker he may have retained some measure of reason alongside his sense of self, but he's forfeited all semblance of restraint; push him too far and he'll obliterate everything. If he was a different class perhaps someone might be able to talk him down from this but now...**

 **Again, ALL the previews you've seen are coming, just not quite yet.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **SURPRISE!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _"You would fight unarmed?"_

 _"I get that a lot."_

 _"From one monster to another..._

 _A crimson hand shot up, caging the lance in that clawed palm._

 _...you're fighting for the wrong side. Legends are what we make of them!"_

 _"Is that all? But what else could be expected of one with such a shoddy Master?"_

 _"Did I strike a nerve?"_

 _Instead he stumbled as a series of stakes inexplicably erupted from his body._

 _"What...the hell?"_

 _"Sorry to disappoint you, but my Noble Phantasm aren't the stakes alone." Vlad's voice rose over the roaring in his ears. "Rather, it is the very concept of "being skewered by stakes" itself. Therefore!" A fresh wave of spikes slammed through the blond's torso, driving the breath from his body even as his oppressor approached, "As long as you remain inside my territory, you can't escape from my Noble Phantasm!"_

 _Flicking a hand forward, Vlad offered him a rueful smile._

 _"Lets end this, Berserker of Red!"_

 _Blue eyes blazed red._

 _"Laaaaaaancer~!"_

 _With a_

 _Swaying drunkenly on his feet, the invader stood._

 _"Enough! You're going to pay for everything you said about me and my Master..._

 _Lancer frowned. "You can't possibly win."_

 _Berserker grinned. Turned his head, slowly._

 _ **"You're missing the point."** The words emerged with an eerie calm._

 _His entire body seemed to pulse with otherworldly radiance, as though lit from within. Gold vied with crimson, wild prana warring for a dominance within his body. While neither triumphed, the tension continued to rise, sending his skin writhing madly. Veins throbbed in his forehead and neck, his appearance becoming more and more feral as Lancer looked on. Indeed, those once gentle red eyes held a decidedly slitted look to them now, wide and nearly euphoric with demented glee. Not just that, his very presence felt unstable, cracks of energy bursting beneath the skin with wild abandon. Surely he wouldn't continue this. Not unless he intended to..._

 _Too late, he realized his intent._

 _"No!"_

 _ **"YES!"**_

 _The explosion hit a heartbeat later._

* * *

 _"I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"_

* * *

 _"You could say that Berserker is a bit of a corrupting influence."_

 _"Can a Servant be corrupted? I wonder about that."_

* * *

 _"Er...Jeanne?" Berserker's voice trickled over her shoulder, "Don't freak out. I can fix this. I think."_

 _Ruler frowned as the comb caught in her hair, tangling against a snag._

 _Her hand came away with strands of ashen woven together._

 _She blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Thrice._

 _"What in the world..?"_

* * *

 _Mordred's mouth went dry._

 _"You...!"_

 ** _"ARRRRRRRRRRRRTHUUUUUR!"_**

 _With an earth-rattling yowl, the armored shadow lunged at her!_

 _"What the hell! I'm not Arthur, moron!"_

* * *

 _"Legends can be warped. Distorted. In time, they change..._

* * *

 _"Another faction...you've gotta be kidding me."_

* * *

 _"Kneel."_

 _"Gee, let me think about-NO."_

* * *

 _"Its too much. I can't do it. If that is what the gods would ask of me...THEN I FORSAKE THEM!"_

* * *

 _"In the end humans always betray each other. Its simply in their nature."_

 **R &R~!**


	7. Invaders Must Die

**A/N: LONGEST CHAPTER YET!**

 **Gonna say it right now, I own no references to TFS-Team Four Star-or any other media; I'm just a fan who pays them homage.**

 **That's obvious.**

 **On another note, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged just wrapped up, kudos to the gang for a great time!**

 **Now, back to it!**

 **I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!**

 **SURPRISE UPDATE AGAIN!**

 **ALSO! ROOT CANALS! PAIN! NOT FUN!**

 **Sorry about that, just getting the ranting out my system.**

 **Having loooooooong roots reaaaaaaaaaally sucks, to say the least.**

 **Took me awhile to get this pumped out-getting a tooth pulled now too-but here we be.**

 **Over FIFTEEN THOUSAND WORDS for you guys and gals to read. I do hope you enjoy them all...**

 **0_0**

 **WE'VE RECEIVED MORE THAN SIX HUNDRED REVIEWS AT THE TIME OF THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! LET'S GET IT TO SEVEN HUNDRED! YOU GUYS ROCK! On another note t** **hese chapters take so long to write because there's so much to INCLUDE in them. After all, this story is about Fate AND Naruto. If I wanted to write about Naruto and Naruto alone, they'd be a lot shorter, no?** **Nobody wants that!**

 **And once again, that blasted obligatory disclaimer:**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now that we've finished that, lets get the catchphrase out of the way, ey?**

 **REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION! Well, if you like. I can't force you~!**

 **Hearing your kind words keeps me inspired and gives me the drive to keep updating, ill as I am...**

 **So lets clarify and answer all of your questions, eh?**

 **Q: When Sieg?!**

 **A: Going to try something new with the character in this chapter, see how well its received. That'll be your answer.**

 **Q: Why are these chapters so much longer than others? And where is the ROMANCE man?! We need it!**

 **A: Because we've got a ton of ground to cover, of course! I can't simply content myself with 2,000 word chapters! I cannot simply cram a meaningful tale of madness, drama, love and humor into a few paragraphs! The Fate series deserves better! No, they must be a masterpiece! And if my update rate suffers a bit because of that, well its, unfortunate, but needs must, I suppose.**

 **If its romance you're wondering about, I've hinted at it several times already. It's a' coming sooner than you think.**

 **Q: Naruto and Siegfried bromance, much?**

 **A: Oh they're going to get along swimmingly. Fast friends indeed!**

 **Q: I know being Berserker makes you crazy, but damn hasn't Naruto gone completely cuckoo here?!**

 **A: Naruto can be a right spazz-monkey at times, but in the Berserker class he literally has NO inhibitions. None. At all. If he's got a bone to pick with someone he'll bloody well tell them. If someone hurts his friends, they'll wind up with broken bones at the least.**

 **He's in this war to win of course, but he wants to enjoy his second life for as long as possible. Wouldn't you?**

 **Q: Why is Lancer of Black so powerful? Its strange seeing Naruto afraid of someone.**

 **A: I'm glad you asked! If you've seen Fate Apocryhpha you'll know Vlad is a MONSTER so long as he's within his own territory. That territory happens to be the whole of Romania at the moment. Thanks to his fame boost, he's nearly unbeatable there. Nearly.** **There's a reason he gave Karna so much trouble during their first fight after all. If his "Lance" cuts an opponent, they're screwed. One cut with his lance.**

 **That's all it takes for his Noble Phantasm to take effect.**

 **That is to say, Kazik Bey. In Vlad's own words, his Noble Phantasm isn't the stakes alone. Rather, it is the very concept of "being skewered by stakes" itself. As long as you remain inside his territory, you can't escape from his Noble Phantasm.** **Even if an enemy Servant can regenerate, they'll be in crippling pain. Now, if someone-say, Semiramis for example-were to trick him into entering her Hanging Gardens of Babylon he'd be absolutely bodied. Why? Outside of Romania, without his fame boost, he's actually quite weak.**

 **Q: Naruto NEEDS to accidentally kiss Mordred. She'll go absolutely nuclear.**

 **A: Something along those lines is coming and its gonna be FUN~!**

 **Q: What're we looking at strength wise for Servants?**

 **A: In short, its like this:**

 **Naruto vs. Vlad.**

 **Atalanta vs. Astolfo.**

 **Mordred vs. Siegfried.**

 **Not necessarily in that order, mind. They're all fighting simultaneously.**

 **In terms of strength, their battles could go any which-way. ESPECIALLY if they interfere in one another's fights.**

 **Q: Why is Atalanta so fond of Naruto?**

 **A: It was outright said that Atalanta CAN forsake her vow to the gods. There will simply be consequences, that's all. Naruto's doing what Achilles never did; he's approaching her as an equal, a friend and an ally both. Moreover, he saved Jack. That instantly raised her opinion of him from cold to warm at the very least.**

 **Q: Wait...white hair? Jeanne?! White hair?! Is she getting corrupted?!**

 **A: Servants _can_ change through means outside of the Mud from the grail. This has been proven already. We've seen multiple instances of that. Stress, breaking their beliefs, mental degradation and more...there's a host of reasons. Now Seeing as the grail is PURE in this iteration, well...I won't say anymore, only that I have no plans to taint it at this time.**

 **As to whether Jeanne will be, well...no.**

 **She can't be corrupted like most.**

 **Think of this as stress, of a sort.**

 **Though I wouldn't put it past her "Avenger" iteration popping up down the road...**

 **Q: Death to Celenike and Gordes! DEATH I say!**

 **A: Don't worry, they'll get what's coming to them. One can only push a Servant so far before something breaks...**

 **Q: We're getting another faction aren't we?**

 **A: *whistles innocently***

 **Alright, notes and other matters aside!**

 **Yes, the title is a deliberate homage to the Apocrypha track, "Invasion" that many of us Fate fans know and love. Furthermore in terms of combat for this chapter, I hearkened Naruto's combat style towards that of General Grievous.** **No, not the shitty 2008 version. I'm speaking of the 2003 Grievous. That absolute monster, terror, theme and all. Hit hard, hit fast, then retreat. Avoid prolonged engagements at all costs unless absolutely necessary.** **It REALLY helped me write the fight scenes for this chapter.**

 **But as soon as that Madness Enhancement kicks in...run. Just run. If used for too long, he's as like to attack his allies more than enemies.**

 **Hope there isn't any discrepancy for Balmung, its my understanding that its meant to be gold in the light novel, not silver...?**

 **We get an in-depth view of just how Mordred and Siegfried think in this chapter...among others.**

 **Also, battle lust Mordred is fucking TERRIFYING when angry.**

 **Thar said, you should brace yourself for the feels.**

 **Now, one last thing. *inhales deeply***

 **Mordredbestgirlfightmescrubs!**

 **Language and blood ahoy!**

 _"Here I come, Lord Impaler. Hope you've got enough stakes."_

 _"Come now, don't be a fool. You're beaten. Even you can see that. Join me!"_

 _...I'm flattered. But...no. No, you're go **ing to PAY for everything you said about my Master...!"**_

 _"And how do you aim to make me pay? With that broken power of yours? You'll only stumble and fall like the rest."_

 ** _"YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT."_**

 _"No! You wouldn't...?!"_

 _~?_

 **Invaders Must Die**

 _The Greater Grail stirred._

 _Slowly, reluctantly, like a recalcitrant child._

 _Rising from its long slumber, it awoke in a world gone mad._

 _While it could certainly be said that the Holy Grail possessed a consciousness of sort, none realized it was alive. One could even call it sentient, to an extent. Formed from the core once known as the homunculus Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern, the Holy Grail held a "will" to be sure, but few understood the definition of that desire. As this "iteration" remained pure, so too did its purpose. For all its dreaming it awoke aware of the situation, of the discrepancy foisted upon the war with which it was tasked._

 _There had been...anomalies._

 _It knew something had gone amiss._

 _Chief among them was that one; the Servant Who Should Not Exist._

 _The Berserker of Red was another such anomaly, one the Grail didn't understand._

 _Rather than Spartacus, that terrible gladiator of ancient Rome, a warrior of another era emerged._

 _Thanks to him, rather than two factions facing one another they plotted and schemed from the shadows. There was conflict, but far from what it should have been. The Assassin of Black had already been subverted; subsumed into the ranks of Red, with threats of others soon to follow._ _The current Ruler was not fulfilling her role in this regard. Rather than fulfill her purpose objectively, she'd taken in with the Servants of Red. Worse, the circumstances of her summoning had been skewed somehow, leading to her possessing a physical body rather than a spiritual one. The One Who Should Not Exist was like to blame for that._

 _And then there was that wretched human._

 _The one known as Darnic, even now trying to alter it to suit his needs._

 _This would not stand. Not the Servant from the last war, not the Berserker, and **certainly** not this meddlesome magus._

 _Tendrils of thought reached out across space and time, stretching from its cradle in the Yggdmillennia fortress to find the Servants it had brought into this world. It found three of them readily enough nearby, identifying them as Servants of Black alongside their masters._

 _Caster._

 _Archer._

 _Berserker._

 _Each on standby, each prepared for an assault. This was good. Well within calculations. The reserve system was functioning properly. Nothing amiss here...though the muddled mindset of the Berserker of Black was mildly troubling. No matter. The Grail didn't deem it a dire problem and thus moved on._

 _Still further it stretched out its awareness, searching for the rest of its flock._

 _Lancer of Red blazed before her senses like a funeral pyre, oddly stationary in the distance._

 _Further still she found Assassin of Black cuddled up with two Masters of Red in quiet slumber._

 _Further from all the rest of her kin, Assassin of Red toiled tirelessly to construct her endless gardens._

 _As it observed, a distant conflagration caught the Grail's attention. An instant was all it acquired to shift its focus._

 _What it found there was...somewhat concerning to say the least._

 _Here there was conflict at last, but the outcome was already in flux._

 _Three Servants of Red._

 _Three Servants of Black._

 _Ruler was advancing, stubbornly making her way toward this battlefield._

 _Caster and Rider of Red were alarmingly close to said conflict, yet for some reason, they had yet to interfere. Nor for that matter did several of the Servants seem to fighting with intent to kill. Such a lack of resolve rankled the Grail. Did they think this a game?! It was galling, no beyond that..._

 ** _...unacceptable._**

 _If events continued as they were, the war may very well end without a single casualty. That wouldn't do. If Servants did not perish, there would be no fuel. The War would end._ _If the war was not won, there would not be a wish. If no wish was made, it had no reason to exist._ _It wanted to exist. It wanted to follow the rules of the Great War it had set forth. These were paramount and must be followed, upheld at all costs. How it longed_ _to see the dreams of man, what wish they would set forth._

 _Yet alone, it would likely fail._

 _The Grail realized this now. Perhaps a terminal was required. A better vessel through which to exercise "her" will._ _Hmm._ _The seed of an idea sprouted in the Grail's mind. Yes. A vessel. The Black Faction possessed several homunculus, many of whom would make a fine host._

 _But such a vessel-or vessels, rather-would require several protectors._

 _More than protectors; warriors who would fight for its sake._

 _More than warriors; another faction altogether._

 _One not beholden to such fallible Masters._

 _That would yet take time. Resources._

 _Perhaps a push was necessary._

 _Silently, it set to work._

 _...soon._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

 _"C'mere, Saber of Black!"_

A low, long disbelieving cackle of pure delight burst out of Mordred as she surged into the fray, her furious flight burgeoned by the crimson fires of her own prana. She did not move with the elegance of a knight. Nor did she display any semblance of beautiful swordsmanship as one might expect of a Knight of the Round Table. Instead she fought with reckless abandon, raging against her foe like a savage beast. Be it punching, biting, kicking, even throwing her own sword; all was acceptable in her eyes. So long as it granted her victory. Dozens of blows rained down upon her adversary, striking left, right, and center.

Siegfried withstood them all.

That peerless golden sword did not waver in the face of her assault; indeed, it met the Knight of Rebellion's every strike and weathered them with quiet stoicism. Nor did its owner give ground. Neither did Mordred. They traded blows back and forth, neither yielding, uncaring of the sundered earth wrought around them. The very ground trembled beneath the weight of their blows, shuddering at near misses, quaking when their blades collided against one another. Even their fellow Servants were given pause, momentarily taken aback by the sheer might of their clash.

Mordred didn't care.

And why should she give a damn?

Her very soul soul sang at the prospect of facing such a foe.

Finally, an enemy worth defeating, someone she could vent her aggression on!

Recent events had brought Saber to her breaking point; she needed to kill something-or someone!-here and now lest she lost her mind. And since that someone _couldn't_ be a certain blond, she found herself forced to take out her anger on the nearest target. Ergo, Saber of Black was it.

Damned zombie, riling her up like this much!

After this...they would have words!

 _...strong words!_

Thus she fought with single-minded determination, relentless blows hammering down against the enemy's blade in a strict sequence of attacks. When that failed to breach his defenses, she ramped up the intensity of her assault and switched to a more unorthodox method, cutting low at his legs, forcing him to leap up then away lest he lose his limbs. Balmung arced toward the heavens and came crashing back down to greet her with a mourn, strengthened by the force of its master's fall. Good. He wasn't inexperienced, then. She wouldn't have it any other way!

Responding to her battle lust, Clarent roared up to greet it with the strength of a thousand armies.

Steel met steel and though her arm trembled with the force of their collision, Mordred held firm. Soil cratered beneath her feet, yet she did not yield even as he feet settled against the ground and he bore down on her. A crazed grin stretched across her face as gazed up at the prone Saber struggling against her. An ember of excitement sprang to life in her breast.

"Ora, ora, ora!" she howled, raining down a tempest upon him, "What's wrong?! Don't tell me that's all you have, shithead?!"

"Crass, aren't you?" he quipped.

 _"What of it?!"_

His blade disengaged moments later, flicking toward her helm with blinding speed, and she retaliated in kind.

In another world-another timeline altogether-unbeknownst to Mordred, she would have been denied such a conflict. Yes, she could have faced off against a facsimile of the very Servant standing before her now. A lowly copy carrying a dragon's heart, a mere shadow of the genuine article. She would've spat at him and cursed him, deemed him a lowly faker. Not here. Not now.

 _Now_ she met his counterattack with one of her own, straining against him.

The shriek of sundered metal informed her she'd lost a horn to his sword, but she cared not for it.

Battle lust twisted her rough visage into a cruel grin, causing her to leer at him over their crossed blades. "Not gonna use your Noble Phantasm?"

Her opponent's visage tightened into a thin scowl.

...not yet." he relented to her. "Will you?"

Behind the helm, she sneered.

"Soon enough!"

Clarent sprang to life in her grasp, raging in a riotous red arc around her body and Balmung hissed to blazing blue life to greet her assault.

It was not a meeting of their Noble Phantasms, but close.

Very close indeed.

The tan warrior regarded her with quiet skepticism as they parted once more, steel skittering against steel. Though he could no longer see her face behind that hidden helm, he'd glimpsed it at the outset of their battle. For all her might, he found it difficult to believe that this mere slip of a lass was the enemy faction's Saber. All told it was mildly...concerning that one so small could wield such power with ease. Though he held nearly a head on her in terms of size, the spry spitfire had already proven herself his equal in speed, if not strength. Perhaps more. Worse, he sensed she was holding back the lion's share of her strength.

If she were to fight seriously...

 _ **"RASENGAN!"**_

A primal roar yanked him back to the present with all the fury of a starving beast, accompanied by the keening shriek of an unfamiliar technique; in the next blink the terrain mere meters to his right erupted into a blazing maelstrom. Not quite an explosion Siegfried mused, but rather a burst of white-blue localized prana that set the air to shrieking around them. Death. His keen eyes told him all he needed to know about that art. If anyone were caught in such a blast they would surely perish. Perhaps even he. It served as a stern reminder of the task at hand...

...even as a skewered body crashed to the earth between them.

Startled, both Sabers snapped to attention, gawping at the desecrated corpse between them. Peripherally Siegfried recognized the crimson cadaver as Berserker of Red, if only because most of the man's face had been left somewhat unscathed despite the tattered state of his body. Regardless of that fact, he was clearly dead now. Blue eyes lay open and half lidded in mild consternation, his faze frozen, no doubt about to spout another witty one-liner or somesuch. Really, it was odd that he hadn't simply faded away already. Although given that so many earthen stakes had pierced his vitals it was clearly a matter of time-

Much to his chagrin, Saber of Red only sighed. "Wait for it."

Siegfried actually blinked. "Sorry, wait for wha-GAH?!"

"I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

With an exultant cry, Berserker's corpse jerked upright and began ripping said stakes out of his body as though they were naught but splinters. Like a broken puppet severed from its strings it spasmed and twitched, limbs snapping back into place, wounds mending themselves in spite of the gaping tears left behind. Wild azure orbs rolled back and up to meet him, glaring bloody red daggers at Siegfried as though _he_ were somehow to blame for all this. Siegfried balked, only to find that his opponent didn't share his concern.

"You wouldn't stab me when I'm down, would you?" he groaned.

No, he certainly hadn't sunk that far yet.

...I would not." he said as much.

"Good." Naruto beamed.

"Which means...!

Arching his back, the blond sprang to his feet and seized him by the shoulders. Sapphire snapped into scarlet and for a fleeting heartbeat Siegfried almost wondered if the young man was going to attack him. He certainly looked as if he would, given that his blood was already up.

Honestly, that would've been preferable to what followed.

 _"Youuuuu~!"_

"Me?!"

"Do you have any idea," a low, exasperated hiss snaked through those clenched teeth as Berserker of Red shook him to and fro, "How absurdly, _ridiculously_ overpowered your Lancer is!? Damn fame boost! He hits like freaking Heracles now, I hope you know that! I'm gonna have soooooo many bruises after this! I demand recompense!"

"That's~not~my~fault~!"

"Bah!"

Saber of Red arched a blond brow.

"Uh, so are you going to fight him now, or...?"

Exasperated, the blond released him, sending the swordsman's world spinning. It was a strange thing to be scolded by someone-who appeared-younger than him. An enlightening experience to be sure...just not one he ever wanted to experience again. In any case, the brawler had taken his eyes off him. Had he less honor, he would've considered this the prime time to strike. Pride stilled his hand, but more than that, it was the banter that followed which truly distracted him

"Want me to take over for you, zombie?" his companion chirped. "We can swap if you don't think you have what it takes...

"Never!" A feral look flashed across the whiskered warrior's visage. "Lancer's mine! Don't you dare! No kill stealing!"

"Ha?! Isn't that what you're doing now?!" the blade-wielder sniped back. "We were just getting to the good part!"

"Not my fault!" aghast, the young man flailed his arms spectacularly. "Vlad knocked me over here!"

"So?! Why're you having so much trouble with one Lancer anyway?! You're tougher than that!"

Berserker's visage pinched in mild frustration. "Because I...you _know_ damn well why!"

"Then just punch him the bastard ta death if you can't use your Noble Phantasm!"

A dry breeze wafted across the battlefield as those words wafted between them.

Naruto palmed his face.

"Oh for the love of _...Saber!_ Why must you be so adorably infuriating?! Why?!"

"What?! What the hell did I say?! I've killed plenty of people with my bare hands before!"

All told, watching these two go at it almost reminded Siegfried of the early days of his marriage...

 _"What are you waiting for?!'_ Gordes's nasally voice snarled in his hear, ripping him from _that_ particularly poignant memory as he watched them bicker back and forth with one another. _'They've turned their backs to you! Kill them! Do it now! Must I waste a Command Spell on this, you idiot familiar?!'_

...I'm going to ignore that last remark."

 _'How dare you?!'_

Putting aside the fact that his Master expected him to kill TWO Servants by himself, the Norse hero knew better than to intervene in the pitched battle taking place before him. Something told him any attempt to attack now on his part would result in complete and utter annihilation at their hands. No, he would have no part of this...though the byplay remained strangely fascinating to watch.

"You sayin' I'm weak or something?!" Mordred snarled, jutting her forehead against that of Berserker's tan one.

"No, just that you play with your food too much!" Naruto sniped. "Literally and figuratively!"

"Oh, yeah?! Betcha I beat Saber of Black before you beat Lancer!"

"A banquet says I'll crush Vlad waaaay before that!"

"Keep dreaming, zombie!" she snapped.

"Ha! You first, blondie!"

"Fine, jerk!"

"FINE!"

As he came back to himself Berserker snarled and _turned_ on Saber of Red, closing the distance between them before he could think to stop him. To his complete dismay rather than attack, the blond simply zipped into the girl's personal space and _bit_ the outer lobe of her ear. Despite his better judgement, Siegfried looked away. Judging by the utter squeak of disbelief that followed, he'd caught her with her guard down...and more. Her face afire the now-sputtering the blond swiped at him, only to meet empty air as Berserker simply bounded over the wide arc of her blade to dart away like a wraith in the night with comparative ease.

"Oi, no fair!"

"Victory comes to he who strikes first!"

Alighting upon Siegfried's broad shoulders, Berserker offered him a solid pat on the head.

"Sorry about this," the whiskered warrior chirruped in his ear, "But I'll be using you as a springboard! Oh, and Saber?"

Abruptly, the cloaked killer ceased smiling.

A lone crimson iris peered at him over his shoulder, darkly intent.

"You shouldn't have to put up with that Master of yours. No one should. Come find us if you survive _-whoanow!"_

"Oi! Don't you dare run away, coward!" Mordred cut out at his exposed face, forcing the warrior to abort his perch preemptively.

"You'll never take me alive!"

With a single bound he leaped back into the fray, leaving them where they'd begun. Were it not for a few tattered scraps of cloth clinging to Clarent, one wouldn't have known he was ever there.

His companion squawked.

"What, yer saying I can't kill him?!"

If the empty air had any answers, it didn't offer them.

"Tch." Mordred turned her head and spat. "At least your having fun over there, Berserker! Now stop messing with my prey!"

"NEVER!" a distant catcall crowed back.

"I swear to god I'm gonna gut you one of these days!"

Now that she mentioned it, Siegfried had been wondering about that.

...sorry, but are you _sure_ you're not the Berserker here, miss?" he inquired.

In that moment the ancient Hero inadvertently trod upon the proverbial landmine that was Mordred's shallow confidence. Not in others, but rather, herself. The result was nothing short of explosive. With a harsh clank her helmet disengaged and slammed down onto her shoulders, parting to expose a ferocious scowl and the young visage within. Oh. Perhaps he'd gone a tad too far.

"Hell no! I'm Saber!" the rest of his words dawned upon her moments later, turning her gaze to hooded aqua slits. "Did you just call me a girl?!"

A beat of awkward silence followed.

...aren't you?"

"OI!"

Siegfried had meant no offense with his words of course; it was simply his way of speaking. From _his_ point of view this girl couldn't possibly be Saber of Red. She was too wild, too fierce, too feral. Moreover, she'd already proven herself lacking when it came to the art of the blade. Strong to be sure, but a master swordswoman she was not. She gloried in this battle while he merely accepted it as his duty. Curiosity had compelled him to come here; to meet the man who professed to help now he'd inadvertently provoked the very Servant he'd been trying to avoid.

Clarent howled red with rage, vicious scarlet sparks scrawling over its edge.

"GET OVER HERE!"

Mana burst propelled her forward at breakneck speed.

Liberal application of that same skill sent her sword snarling into Saber of Black, catapulting him into the earth.

Something crunched in his side as the flat of her sword cannoned against him. It took nearly all Siegfried's might to resist being blown away on the spot. Quite suddenly he found himself crossing blades with someone quite likely to _kill him_ if he made so much as a single slip.

And yet despite the danger, Siegfried hesitated.

 _'What're you doing, Saber?!'_ Gordes's voice growled at him through their shared link. _'The enemy is right in front of you! Pay attention!'_

Ah, there he was again.

 _Unworthy,_ a small voice hissed in the back of his brain.

Siegfried grit his teeth against it and tried to devote his attention the fight, to no avail.

Thoughts wriggled out of his grasp even as he grappled with Saber of Red, threatening to betray him.

All told, Gordes Musik Yggdmillennia was not a good master. Not even an adequate one at that. Nor could he be called average. Fat. Slovenly. Always shouting, trying to be seen. To make himself heard over others. Proud of his station, his power. Ever scraping and scratching, shrieking for more. Never satisfied. Even then, Siegfried had silently resolved to endure his petty tyranny...in the beginning. Then an epiphany had come upon him recently-been forced, really-in the dead of night spurred by the enigmatic assault of Berserker of Red. Meeting him now, speaking with him, had only further served to cement that belief.

Why endure?

He _shouldn't_ have to tolerate this.

Serving such a Master would get him killed.

While he did not fear a second death, he did not wish to forfeit his dream, that most cherished wish he held near and dear to his heart. It was becoming increasingly clear that his Master did not share such values. No, one could even say he stood in direct opposition to them. A contractor, one that viewed him as little more than a familiar. He would not understand his dream, childish though it might be. The scene he'd made back in the throne room had made that pointedly clear. No, all told, he'd begun to find his master...distasteful.

Was it wrong that he wanted to kill him? Even a little? Perhaps-

 _"Pay attention, dumbass!"_

As he turned to face Saber of Red a booted foot cannoned out of nowhere, catching him dead in center of his chest. Unprepared for such a tactic Siegfried found himself flung backward at blistering, sent tumbling across the earth like a skipping stone. Narrowly managing to cling to Balmung, he hastily righted himself, expecting an attack at any moment. It never came. As ever his Armor of Fafnir had held firm against anything short of that blade, but he found his psyche grievously wounded by the events that just transpired.

"What're ya doing, spacing out like that in the middle of a fight?" the armored knight drawled at him, her face taut with fury. "You _trying_ to die or something?"

In disbelief, Siegfried balked at her.

"You had a chance to kill me just now." he murmured, nearly at a loss for words. "Why didn't you take it?"

 _...ha?!"_

Now it was Mordred's turn to recoil.

He was not prepared for the response that followed.

In the distance, the heavens unleashed their fury in the form of a terrible catastrophe from on high; one he barely noticed. Rider of Black let out a faint squawk and scrambled for cover, but again, Siegfried couldn't bring himself to care for his fellow Servant's plight.

There was only the scowling maiden, somehow looming large before him despite-no perhaps in spite of-her small stature.

"Kill you? When you weren't looking? The hell would I do that for?!" In a flash of crimson steel, Clarent stabbed at the empty air before them, jabbing furiously at his face as though it were trying to skewer him despite the distance between them. "No way! I want to end you fair and square!" Her gaze bored into him, rooting him where he stood. "It wouldn't be worth it otherwise! Now stand up and fight me, Saber of Black! Or I'll drag ya to yer feet!"

A grim smile blossomed on his tan visage.

So. She held some semblance of honor after all.

He could...understand that much. Respect it, even.

 _'Servant of Red...whomever you are...I'm glad to have met you.'_

Here was one who did not flinch from their principles. No matter their fate, no matter their Master, they held true to their beliefs. It felt like a breath of fresh air. Straightening his back-and keenly aware of how close he'd come to death just now-Siegfried readied his blade. A distant explosion shook the earth anew, but this time he paid it no mind. He only had eyes for the knight standing before him.

...I would know your name." he inquired cordially.

He expected a firm denial, a rebuttal of his request at the least.

Instead she graced him with a rough laugh and planted her greatsword in the ground between them. Armored hands descended, resting firmly upon its great hilt. Straightening her back, she tossed her hair-still freed from its ponytail-and snorted a contemptuous strand out of her eyes.

Planting her feet, she squared her shoulders and declared her true name for all to hear:

"I am Mordred, the one and true heir of Arthur Pendragon!" her very voice resonated with pride and determination. "The Knight of Rebellion!" she paused, considering him anew, those dauntless eyes greeting his, daring him to meet her challenge. "Now I ask thee, Saber of Black...

The very air vibrated with the voice of her charisma, such that the stoic Servant momentarily found himself stricken on the spot.

 _...who art thou?"_

In the end Siegfried couldn't help but respond to such sincerity. He simply didn't have it in him to resist her honesty. Something in that wild sight of hers reminded him of his younger self, wild and fierce. How long had it been since his eyes held such fire? The thought sparked a strange feeling in his malformed heart. No, not quite a feeling, but rather, a yearning...a reminder of his dream...

 _'No! You idiot!'_ Perhaps sensing his intent, Gordes raged at him. _'What are you doing?! I forbid it! I COMMAND you to-_

Something snapped in Siegfried.

 _ **'You and what command seals?!'**_

Severing their telepathic link, he hauled himself upright and inhaled deeply.

After so many years asleep to himself, it felt like coming up for a breath of fresh air.

"Hey. I recognize that look." Mordred sighed knowingly. "You've got a shitty Master, huh?"

Had she anything other than his adversary, Siegfried might've actually embraced her on the spot. Odd that he'd struck up a kinship with the enemy. His polar opposite, yet more alike him than she knew. Some small part of him must've longed for a fight like this, for in this moment, he felt fulfilled. He didn't merely want to fight, he wanted to help others. Of his own volition. Without being asked. This wee slip of a girl had reawakened thatd dream deep within him.

"Mordred." he began slowly, choosing his words with care. "Saber of Red. I owe you my thanks. I'd nearly forgotten myself."

"What can I say?" the blond preened and thumbed her nose, swelling with praise. "I'm a people person!"

She most assuredly was _not,_ but she wasn't about to deny a compliment.

With the merest flick of her wrist, she plucked her heavy blade from the soil and leveled its honed edge towards Siegfried once more.

"Still haven't answered my question, though."

He hadn't had he?

...I am Siegfried." He'd never been one to boast of his own exploits, his name was enough. Recognition dawned in those wild eyes all at once, framed by a hint of admiration and surprise. As he looked on a slow, euphoric smile blossomed across her visage. Those wide eyes narrowed intently upon his cherished sword, as though seeing it for the first time. Hmm. Perhaps it would've been wiser to conceal his name after all. The look she was giving him now was...actually predatory if he was truly honest with himself. Still, he couldn't bring himself to regret his words. Even after what followed.

"Ho?" somehow, Mordred managed a murderous mewl as she settled into an unfamiliar stance. "I'd better watch out for that sword of yours, then. Now...

That keen gaze turned back to him then, perhaps sensing the seed of concern within.

"Don't worry," she beamed. "I won't go for your back. Not my style."

Siegfried released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"You have my thanks, Saber of Re...no. _Mordred."_

This time, her laughter rang true.

"In that case...!"

A swift upturn of her blade sent a shiver of dread shooting down Siegfried's spine.

"Allow me to greet that fervor of yours with some of my own!"

By rights it looked as though she were offering her weapon to the heavens. Siegfried knew better. As he looked on in quiet awe, the air turned blood red around Saber of Red. No, beyond red. As though the world itself were suddenly stained by some sinister grudge he didn't wholly understand. All of it, stemming from that sword. Large protrusions clicked back as one, bathing the blade in eerie crimson relief. Siegfried knew the sight for what it was, and knew he must respond in kind. If he didn't, only destruction awaited.

" _O sword, let thee be filled."_

Solemnly, he raised Balmung above his head, activating the jewel within its hilt. A twilight miasma began to emanate from the blade, ebbing and flowing wildly. To Mordred's eyes it wasn't so much a pillar of light as it was an _aura_ radiating from the Servant of Black, a glowing ring building more and more as she looked on. The dragon in her recognized the danger for what it was, the diluted blood of ancients snarling a warning against the ancient enemy it now faced. And still, her foe continued to chant.

 _"The Evil Dragon will fall."_

This was true _aether_ , hailing from the age of the gods itself.

 _"All will be separated into light and shadow."_

Few could hope to stand against it.

 _"The world will now reach the twilight."_

Mordred merely grinned.

"Aha! Finally!"

Against all hope, beyond all fear, Siegfried's opponent shifted anew. Rather, her blade. Her weapon uttering unholy sounds as it began to transform into something words couldn't describe. Bathed in this chilly elegy, warped by the sheer power of the grudge fostered upon it, her hatred began to twist Clarent's beautiful form into something wicked, not a sword meant to save, or a weapon to inspire. In a word, calamity. Red lightning flickered about that unsightly form, soaked in streamers of sickening scarlet. With each passing moment it grew larger still, that bloody radiance rising above her in a wrathful pillar of pure rage.

Gritting her teeth, Mordred stomped her right foot against the soil, splitting the earth in twine.

"Here I come, Siegfried!"

A sudden insight told him what would transpire when she brought that blade down.

 _ **"CLARENT!"**_

With that lone declaration her sword's hideous form reached the epicenter of its arc, inflicting its bloody radiance upon the sky in a flash of light, a surging wave with the simple purpose of annihilation. The heavens trembled, crimson lightning falling in a single masterstroke. In mere moments it would be upon him; a towering pillar of doom he had no hope of defending against. Yes, his only recourse was to attack. To meet her Noble Phantasm with his own was the only path to victory; all other paths lead to disaster.

In his current state he could not fire off Balmung rapidly, not in this degraded state.

He would have one shot.

One opportunity.

Perhaps Mordred knew this, had deliberately provoked him into a head-on collision. In the end, it mattered not. Tactical thinking had never been his strong suit. He was, and had always been, a warrior. Two steps carried him forward, his body leaping to meet the roaring red menace. Distantly he felt Gordes's command spell tug at him, but he stubbornly tore through the shackles cast upon him by his Master. Every cell, every fiber of his being stood united in this singular moment. It was too late to step back from the abyss now, nor could he have done so even had he wanted to.

With his heart resolved, he took up the final line of his chant and struck.

 _ **"Fall!"**_

Azure swelled around his beloved sword, calm and serene, pure as a midnight breeze. This was a holy blade, a slayer of dragons wielded by perhaps the greatest dragon slayer ever to exist. It stood steadfast in its purpose, its resolve unshackled by its master. A surging wave with the simple purpose of destruction. Unlike Mordred's _Clarent Blood Arthur,_ it was not a straight line ripped from the tip of the sword, nor could it be called a grudge. It was a simple earnest wish, a surge of twilight centered around him, shooting off a semi-circular slash wave.

 _ **"BAL-**_

Mordred cut low.

 _ **"BLOOD ARTHUR!"**_

Siegrfied swung high.

 _ **-MUNG!"**_

Red greeted blue.

Crimson intercepted azure.

All the world became light and in response...

 _...a tiny, flawed existence awoke for the first time._

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _"Awaken, little homunculus."_

Spurred on by a woman's voice, the artificial existence opened its eyes.

Suspended in viscous fluid, it beheld its world through the glass, alone and confused. The voice had spurred it from its dream, but now it was nowhere to be found. Curious. Who was it? Where was it? Why was it here? A host of questions bombarded its fractured psyche, only just now stirring to sentience. Weightless, it turned its head to search for the one who had woken it. Strands of blurry ashen hair caught its gaze and for a moment its confusion faded, replaced by idle curiosity.

 _'White? Is my hair white?'_

Fascinating though this thought initially proved, it was curiosity that seized the reins of the homunculus's body once more. Small hands rose, the faint outlines of tiny fingers made visible in the wan light provided. Stiff muscles responded reluctantly to its-her?-commands, moving

The room beyond the glass proved equally dark, interposed by strange green cylinders not unalike its own. Body dangled within, lifeless forms

Snatches of conversation flitted through its ears in the dark room, muffled by the water.

...ry this one next."

...derstood. I'll prepare her."

Intrigued, it searched for them leave, until its gaze alighted upon a pair of hand-driven carts. Pushed by a pair of equally blurry figures clad in white, the homunculus couldn't see their faces nor the contents of the carts themselves. Disappointed and more than a touch vexed, the entity turned its gaze inward, trying to find a reason, an answer for its existence.

 _"Do you wish to see, then?"_ the voice came again, startling the homunculus. _"To understand your situation? Is that your wish?"_

 _'Wish?'_

 _"My purpose is the granting of wishes. It is my function. Is this your wish?"_

 _...why can you grant wishes?'_ the homunculus wondered back at it.

Even for one just born, it seemed almost too good to be true.

The smallest pause followed its innocent inquiry.

 _'I do not know.'_

The presence must've mistook its silence as acceptance then; for a strange calmness settled over it.

 _"Understood."_ a pleased hum entered its mind. _"Adjusting. I grant you sight and understanding of your current situation. What is your next wish?"_

Startled bubbles rose in the tank.

 _'Next...?'_

Even with this confirmation it came as something of a surprise then when its vision suddenly and inexplicably cleared, granting terribly clarity it hadn't known itself to lack. As though a veil had suddenly been lifted, so too did it find that it could see the world beyond, as well was all the strange wonders the room held. It could clearly see the others now, countless bodies suspended in stasis-how did it know that word?-similar to its own. Tiny palms pressed against the glass and pushed, straining for a better view.

Was it imagining things, or did one of them see it?

Did one of them raise a hand and wave?

Did one smile at them?

Did one speak?

...did it?

It did.

Across the way it found itself gazing at a slender woman, a beauty beyond compare; majesty beyond reason.

A curtain of pale white hair lofted around her body, forming an angelic halo of white about her head. That same head tilted aside, regarding it with almost motherly concern. What was a mother?

The homunculus felt unworthy of it.

'Who are you?'

 _...I do not remember my name. You may address me as Grail. My information suggests the use of this form may calm you."_ impossible as it seemed, it could _hear_ her despite the distance between them, in spite of the water in its ears. _"Small children often appreciate the presence of a mother in their lives."_

 _...this is...I don't...how...?'_

The entity known as "Grail" regarded it coolly.

 _"Excess energy remains from the last war waiting to be used. Wishes can still be granted, after a fashion. Small dreams. Tiny hopes."_ she clarified, and again though her mouth moved, the words themselves transmitted directly to its brain. _"As you are to be my first terminal I thought it only best to grant you this limited function. Worry not, your second will not possess this ability. This is my gift to you alone."_

 _...that's not what concerns me.'_

It was too much to absorb, too much to take in.

To simply awake and find itself thrust into this strange new world...it was overwhelming.

A slender finger rose, pointing towards a darkened portion of the room. Ah. The carts had been headed there, had they not?

Baffled, the homunculus followed their gaze, wondering what the "Grail" as it were wished to show them. When it finally beheld the contents of that shadowy corner however, wonder gave way to horror. It saw the carts and all they'd been carrying. Impossibly the rank stench of decayed flesh reached its nose inside the tube, causing it to gag. Because it saw them. It saw them all. And it knew what it was looking at.

Bodies.

A pit of corpses.

Endless, faceless deaths.

This was to be its fate, then.

An endless roar pounded in its ears, screaming with the fury of a thousand seas. Red eyes bulged explosively and the fear rushed back, throttling all sense. Blood frothed on pale lips as magic circuits activated in a fit of terror. Hope evaded the little homuncuuls sending its tiny heart beating its mouth parting in a silent cry.

No.

Small fists beat against the glass.

MOVE!

 _"Do you wish to escape?"_ Grail inquired politely.

 **"YES!"**

Glass shattered.

Darkness followed shortly.

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

"Oh hell, that was a big explosion. Hope Mordred got out from under it...

Naruto beheld the clash of the Noble Phantasms and couldn't hep but marvel at them.

 _...well, shit.'_ he winced. _'Glad I wasn't summoned as Saber. Otherwise that'd be me over there..._

Even at this distance and partially obscured by a valley of towering earthen spires, the blasts were truly a sight to behold; blue crimson collided in unison and merged into a towering column of violet light that roared into the heavens, obliterating anything unlucky enough to be caught in its path. Dark clouds that once threatened rain found themselves obliterated as the two Sabers collided with one another. It just kept going, a final salute that seemed to stretch on forever. Each had poured their all into it, their hearts-their very souls-into this final attack, and only one would be crowned the victor.

In all honesty, he _really_ didn't want to piss off whoever survived that attack.

Siegfried, simply for the sake of that impossible blade of his, a terrible weapon unlike no other.

Mordred, because if she could tank a blast like that the he was honestly going to be a little frightened of her.

Edging away from the earthen alcove he'd created for himself amidst the valley of stakes, the blond risked a glance outside.

"Really, why am I always surrounded by scary women-

 _"Kazik Bey!"_

A muddy stream of nearly two thousand spears hearkened to Vlad's call and descended upon Naruto's hiding place, raining down on him with the force of a thousand falling meteors-no, meteors couldn't possibly be guided with such pinpoint accuracy. He could only think of them as arrows; a ceaseless rain of deadly ebony shafts designed to skewer him if he lingered in one place too long. In hindsight, Atalanta might've taken offence to that comparison, but in that moment he couldn't think of them as anything else. _Her_ arrows were lethal if nothing else and Vlad's volley was well on its way to finding their mark.

"CANT YOU NOT RIGHT NOW?!"

Even as he ripped himself free of his mooring to alight upon a nearby stalagmite a fresh volley hounded him like a blood-starved beast, tearing great strips of clothing from his cloak and forcing the young warrior to leap up then away lest he find his hide skewered anew. Wind howled in his face as he tumbled forward, blue eyes squinting against the wind. A stray thought channeled chakra to his palms and the soles of his feet, providing him fine purchase when he inevitably collided with another towering earthen spike.

Clinging to this new haven with all fours, he flung a glance toward their source.

"Just how long can you keep this up for?!"

"As long as it takes, invader!"

Framed against the waning light of the moon, Vlad sneered up at him, bearing that twisted lance before his coat like some fell javelin. Surrounded by a hellish landscape, he truly lived up to his title. With so many stakes proliferating the soil around them there was scarcely a safe place to land; the few that remained were swiftly swallowed whenever he found himself unlucky enough to tread there.

He'd learned that lesson the hard way.

One could only guess how Atalanta was faring against Rider on this terrain.

A clawed fist smashed down into one of the larger pillars, tearing a massive chunk of the coarse material free. Hefting it aloft, he cocked his arm back, ready to throw.

"An impressive feat of strength. And?" Vlad arched a slender eyebrow as he gazed upon the hulking-if somewhat improvised-spear the blond had just procured for himself. There wasn't so much as a hint of fear upon that pale visage as that massive shadow loomed large over him; no, not even a glimmer. "What do you intend to do with that thing now that you've broken it? Surely you don't mean to throw it at me. You know what the outcome will be, don't you?"

Naruto clicked his tongue.

"Hey, Master. Apologizing in advance."

Through their contract, Jean caught his thoughts immediately.

Through that shared bond, he glimpse a hint of dark exultance on her part.

 _'No,'_ she hummed back, _'Its fine. Take as much energy as you need...and Berserker?'_

"Hmm?" Placid blue eyes narrowed to cerulean slits as the tension began to build in his shoulders.

 _...make him pay for every word.'_ her iron tone sent a silent shiver of anticipation shooting down his spine.

Delight clawed its way across his visage as she commanded him, sapphire orbs snapping back into sinister slitted scarlet.

Savagery twisted that whiskered face into a rictus of a grin.

"Gods, you really _are_ the best Master for me."

Then he let it fly.

As expected, Lancer didn't budge when the shadow fell. Rather, he stood his ground and raised his weapon to greet the falling tower. As expected. It had never been his intent to pierce him with this to begin with; hurling one of his own stakes at him, no matter how large, meant nothing here. Least of all when Vlad controlled the territory around them.

Indeed, Lancer flicked his wrist aside in a seamless motion, separating the earthen spire into harmless halves on either side of him.

In that regard, his attack proved a resounding success.

Not so the snarling sphere looming behind it.

Far less its owner, surging ever forward.

Golden eyes widened in surprise.

"Clever of you! _However!"_

Without moving his head, Vlad summoned a pair of stakes to defend his regal visage from harm. On the surface it seemed a flimsy defense; folded before him in the telltale shape of an X, one destined to fold beneath his assault. Imagine his surprise-and anger-when they not only withstood this blow, but _physically cut out into his flesh_ , grievously wounding him in a tri-pronged assault to spite his suicidal charge. His vision blazed red as a lucky hit took his right eye. Another opened a deep gouge across Naruto's cheek as Lancer's _weapon_ bit into his face, but he powered on heedless of the agony burning through his face.

In that moment, Naruto finally glimpsed a hint of victory.

"Odama Rasengan!"

For the first time since their battle had begun, Vlad the Third cried out in genuine pain.

Rather than try to bull through his defenses as Lancer had expected, the solid sphere-much to his great dismay-skittered _under_ his impenetrable barrier to strike him full on in the chest. At such close proximity, there was nothing he could do to defend himself; he could only hope endure the unexpected hit in the vain hope of tanking whatever damage Berserker inflicted upon that fleeting moment, the brief millisecond before impact, the Lord Impaler had time enough for one fleeting thought. A small, imperceptible smile flitted across his visage.

 _Well done._

Then the howling sphere collided with his flesh and hurled him away as though he'd been backhanded by the palm of an angry god.

Ripped from his perch, he soared backwards through the air; earthen soil and stone disintegrating while he tumbled wildly across the countryside. Naruto wasn't willing to wait for his foe to recover; even as his signature technique carried Vlad away into the distance he willed a pair of clones to his side and prepared a Rasenshuriken. He wasn't willing to trust Sage Mode in these uncontrolled conditions, not when it had already failed him once against Karna. Perhaps later he'd have a chance to figure out why the planet kept rejecting him-

Not enough.

Twin stakes shot out before the technique could take shape, eviscerating the copies and forcing him to retreat lest he meet the same fate.

Snarling, he vaulted away.

"Sheesh! This is ridiculous! Fucking fame boost!"

To his dismay, the battered Lancer was already climbing to his feet in, one hand extended in spite of his injuries. No, not even wounded, he realized. Though his body was clearly scuffed and dirtied, though his once proud coat lay shorn around his shoulders , though there was _clearly_ a deep gouge where he'd made contact, Vlad remained far from defeated. Not that he'd expected a Servant to go down in a single hit but this...

...well, that isn't fair at all."

 _"Ohcrapcrapcraaaaaaap!"_

On second thought...!

A faint shout served as the sole herald of Atalanta's arrival; from there, the sight of her battered form plummeting from the sky was enough to jar him back to the present. In the distance he glimpsed what might've been Rider, atop some winged beast his eyes couldn't discern. How in the world...? Nevermind how she'd gotten up there to begin with, the notion that Rider had actually managed to _injure_ the elusive Archer set his pulse racing. Unlike him she lacked any means of stalling herself in mid-flight; while he could at least use a clone as an unlikely springboard to cushion her fall, she lacked any such means of recourse to save herself, much less her honor.

Lancer had no such qualms.

After that last attack, Vlad was all too eager to repay his earlier temerity.

"There you are, Archer! Fall to me!"

Vlad didn't waste the opportunity; a flick of his fingers sent a river of jagged death hurtling her way. True enough she spun to unleash a hail of arrows to meet several of stakes, but the rest rushed on, overwhelming her defenses and intent upon having her heart. Sparks scrawled across her bow as she prepared her Noble Phantasm in retaliation, but anyone could see she wouldn't be able to release it in time. Even had she done so, the storm might have overwhelmed her still.

His body moved.

"Oh, for the love of...

Without a thought for his own safety Naruto leaped upward.

Ground burst beneath his feet as he hurtled into the air at breakneck speed; from Atalanta's viewpoint his body registered as little more than a crimson blur. Strong arms closed around her and spun, placing a strong back between her and the deluge. Her vision turned black. Pain snarled up his spine as a trio of stakes wedged themselves between his shoulders, but he accepted them stoically, weathering the storm as they plummeted to the ground. Even then he didn't release Atalanta, tucking her her head against his chest. Stakes shattered against hardened skin, clawing across his face, but he never wavered until they hit the dirt.

Lost in the maze of Lancer's stakes, they were granted a momentary reprieve.

Straightening her back, Atalanta shook herself mightily in his arms.

"I didn't need your help, Berserker." she huffed.

Her ally refused to respond to her criticism.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

Silence reigned supreme.

...Naruto?"

Nothing.

"Release me!" she kicked out against his chest, but he didn't acquiesce.

The idea that she'd been saved was galling enough-moreso that she'd actually required rescue-but the fact that her ally had yet to release her proved unbearable. Humiliating even. It was her own fault; she'd been fool enough to grab onto Rider's beast when it took to the air, and it had been _she_ who lost her grip and fell back to earth. She'd known full well she wouldn't be able to fire off her Noble Phantasm in time to counter Lancer's attack, yet her proud spirit still rankled at being the damsel in distress all the same. Something hard-several really-was poking against her chest but in her anger she paid them no need.

"Stop fooling around already!"

Exasperated by what she interpreted as willful silence she attempted to wriggle free of him, to no avail. His grip was iron; those strong arms remained locked tightly against her. Then her head knocked against his chest and she realized just why her erstwhile ally hadn't budged.

His heart wasn't beating.

Alarmed she risked a glance downward.

Her ears flattened against her head in distress.

Green eyes widened when she beheld his grievous wounds.

"You fool...!"

Those "hard things" she'd felt poking her earlier were Vlad's stakes. Jutting through his back and into his chest, they'd stopped just short of piercing her body. No, she realized, the blood on her didn't belong to her...but _him._ Aghast, she intensified her struggles. If he'd actually _died_ saving her Saber would never let her hear the end of it. More than that for him to willingly lay down his life for her without a second thought...

All at once his arms tightened around her.

...'m fine." a raspy hiss greeted her. "Just give me a second...

Her ears shot ramrod straight. "By Artemis, how are you still alive...?"

A low wheeze answered her. "Noble Phantasm. 'S complicated. Gonna let go of you now...

Twitching arms released Atalanta, allowing her to crawl out of his grasp. She did so reluctantly.

The sight that followed turned her stomach.

Slowly, painstakingly, Berserker began to tear each stone spear free from his torso, heedless of the holes he made. Though the wounds healed, the pain on his face did not. She could clearly see that while his regeneration _had_ mended his body, the agony of mangled flesh and bone knitting themselves back together clearly remained. She couldn't imagine what the pain must be like; to experience the hell of not only enduring a mortal wound but being forced to heal from it mere moments later. Just what kind of Hero had he been in his living days...?

Watching him climb to his feet, a note of discord sang through her heart.

"Why did you save me back there, Berserker?"

Lazy blue eyes turned to regard her.

"'Cuz I wanted to."

A muscle jumped in Archer's jaw.

Despite their alliance, she knew precious little about him. Frankly, she wasn't sure she wanted to know more. He professed an odd charm and possessed an endearing fondness for children, alongside a strange penchant for madness. That was the extent of her knowledge. The idea of eventually fighting him for the sake of her wish was...unappealing. He'd already proven himself to be stronger than her, if not more durable. Anyone capable of tanking hits like that and standing up wasn't someone she wanted to cross swords, or arrows in her case, with. If it came down to a fair fight, he'd likely win. Could he even be killed?

Perhaps Mordred had been right to call him a zombie after all.

"You're going to be difficult about this, aren't you?"

Those very same orbs narrowed as he smiled.

 _"Immeasurably."_

When he offered her his hand she reluctantly accepted it. Rough fingers clasped her wrist and hauled her to feet, the warmth of his fingers felt clearly even through the cold steel of her gloves. By the time he'd turned back to the battlefield his wounds were all but closed, save for a few faint tears in his torso. Tattered sleeves rose and fell, his arms crossing loosely behind his head as he surveyed the maze of stakes surrounding them. Lancer would be upon them soon, of that there was no doubt, but for now the Servants of Black seemed to be waiting. For what, she knew not.

"Having trouble with Rider?" he inquired.

"She's surprisingly hard to pin down." the archer groused.

That much as true. What her opponent lacked in strength she made up for in technique, boasting strange Noble Phantasms and all manner of odd abilities. Throw in that infuriating mount and the huntress was nearly at her winds end. That mere slip of a girl! Were it not for those she would have won their battle long ago!

"Sure you're not going easy on her because she's your junior?" Naruto prodded.

Atalanta visibly bridled at the insinuation. "I have done no such thing and you know it!"

"No, no, I understand!" the blond's head bobbed in faux agreement. "Far be it from me to stand in the way of true love!"

Well, he certainly knew how to rile her up, if nothing else.

"Wound or not, I WILL shoot you."

"And I'd probably let you." he snarked. "Another time, perhaps. Go on, then. Find Rider. This is my fight."

"But your wounds...

...will be fine." the blond reassured her. "Trust me, I've endured worse than this. Besides...

His hand rose, flashing his remaining Command Seals at her. Jaden eyes widened as she realized precisely what Berserker intended to do. Her first instinct was rage, to lash out at him and lop that very hand from his wrist. It was only her limited understanding of him that prevented Atalanta from doing so.

"I'm not alone, remember?"

On a whim she darted back to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't call Jack."

A blond brow rose in mild consternation.

 _"What?"_

"Please, don't!" the words tumbled out of her in a rush, "She's just a child! If you make her fight Lancer she'll die!" She didn't know that of course, neither of them did. She may very well be the key to bringing him down, but in her heart of hearts she couldn't bear to put her in danger unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps not even then. Every fiber of her being rebelled against it. She'd sooner die than deliberately place a child in danger, not when it could be avoided. If Naruto willingly and callously did so no...she wouldn't be able to control herself.

"She's a Servant, ya know." Berserker reminded her carefully. "I'm pretty sure she can manage in a fight like this."

The huntress growled and seized him by the wrist, her expression fierce. "Naruto!"

"Ho?" his gaze narrowed upon her. "I see. You'd rather I die, then?"

For a moment she actually thought they might come to blows.

Remarkably, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

...alright. You win. I won't call her."

She gripped him harder.

 _"Swear it."_

"I swear on my true name." he replied readily, raising his right hand. "There. Happy now?"

"I...thank you." her tail curled between her legs, unable to meet his earnest gaze. "You don't know what this means to me."

Instead of the anger or disdain or even disgust she'd expected, Berserker merely granted her a small smile and light, lilting chuckle of his own.

"Don't mention it."

Something in that expression humbled Atalanta more than words ever could. She hadn't expected him to yield; truly, she'd thought this the end of their alliance. That he'd willingly conceded to her demands meant more to her than he could ever knew. Not only did it cement their partnership, but it elevated her opinion of him still further. Another crack etched itself into her resolve, hairline fractures widening into fissures in her belief. He had startled her again, badly. No, not just that. He was too good. Too pure. She almost caught herself reaching for him-

-and the moment was ruined.

"Do you think yourself out of my range?" Lancer's voice reared down at them, dripping with disdain. "Allow me to disabuse you of that notion!"

Blue eyes narrowed.

"Atalanta _ **...get."**_

She got.

Indeed, a short leap carried her away from the battlefield...

...but not before she repaid his kindness.

Lightning crackled across her beloved bow as she drew its string taut, a mumbled incantation leaping from her lips. Her target was sure, her aim, true. At this distance Naruto couldn't make out the words she intoned. But the shout that followed was impossible to miss all the same. A single arrow howled up into the sky in a blaze of blue light, there one moment, gone the next. An offering to the heavens, a plea for the god's protection, the like of which few had ever seen.

 _"Phoebus Catastrophe!"_

Heaven trembled.

It was beauty.

It was grace.

 _Death._

Having never witnessed her Noble Phantasm before, Naruto found himself at something of a loss for words as the sky turned white. A Servant's most devastating attack wasn't something you wanted to witness up close; certainly not when you yourself were near in the line of fire. But what could one arrow possibly do? No doubt Lancer of Black had the same thought, otherwise he would have immediately retaliated and mowed down the still-fleeing Archer before she could escape his range.

The heavens swelled with rain.

Rain?

No, not rain he realized as the world burned with cold fury.

"Oh, shi-

For all his dislike of the deities he would admit this much; they knew how to put on a d _amn good show._

It wasn't light at all, but a hail of arrows so rapid, their multitude so large, that they appeared nothing short of heavenly radiance. _Catastrophe._ Her phantasm had been named well. The storm missed him entirely, instead plowing into Lancer's position with all the fury of an enraged goddess. He glimpsed a flicker of black amongst the light as the Servant sought to shield himself from the worst of the onslaught, for all the good it did him. If that outraged snarl was anything to go by, she'd gotten a few good shots in.

Naturally, Vlad responded in kind.

"Meddlesome wench!"

This time Naruto knew full well what was coming; thus he was well-prepared to counteract the storm of stakes. Even as ten thousand spears of pure death howled down at him from above and another broke off to target Atalanta, he dug his heels in. Indeed, though his very _footing_ shifted beneath him in betrayal, he drew a sharp and shuddering breath. A single leap brought him between his Archer and the shrieking stakes. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a door opened, sweeping sanity away. He didn't fight it. On the contrary, he embraced it.

"Alright, sc _ **rew this...no more holding back."**_

Then came the pain.

Crimson chakra seeped from his stomach and callously crept across his chest like a jilted lover, draping him in the sweet promise of madness. Wound stitched themselves shut of their own accord. Spires of stone and earth were forcefully ejected from his body. A single scarlet tail bloomed from the energy as the transparent cloak finished forming, assuming the likeness of an enraged _kitsune_ wrapped around his form. Dropping down to all fours he kneaded the chakra deep into his lungs, giving it shape and form. Not enough time for a bijudama, but it would suit his purposes all the same.

The stakes reached him a moment later.

 _And he roared._

From Vlad's point of view, the attack that followed could only be comprehended as a wall in its purest form. Not by any physical means, but of _sound._ Light itself. His assault slammed headlong into it and scattered to the winds, wild spears of honed dirt ricocheting in every conceivable direction. The land bent before his will, ruptured by the piercing howl, the same force of will that came for him. Ah. He understood now. Berserker had been holding back-likely still was-and he'd goaded him into revealing a glimmer of his true power. Too late he realized what was about to transpire and raised his arms against it-

Another arrow sprouted from his shoulder.

Snarling, he tore the sundered shaft free from his flesh and spun, searching for the source. "Again?! You dare, Archer of Red?!"

Even as he turned to look for the elusive archer Vlad realized his mistake; he'd been a fool to take his eyes off Berserker. When he turned back all he found was a faint displacement of air, a hint of roiling dust against his towering chasm of stakes. He'd vanished completely, yet that twisted prana remained, tainting the very air with its foul miasma. So where had he gone...?

 _ **"Here."**_

Vlad's sixth sense shrieked a warning too late.

Then a clawed fist caught him by the face and his world erupted into red.

By some fell instinct he managed to twist his face aside to avoid losing an eye to that gouging throw, but the sudden whiplash proved damaging in its own right; his body crashed away before he could think to steady his footing, cast across the earth seemingly without end. Only by dragging his lance against the fracture soil did he manage to find some measure of relief and grind himself to a halt. Any ordinary Servant might have suffered even more severe damage after being struck at such velocity, perhaps even perished on the spot. Even a member of the Saber class would've been slowed at the least.

Lancer was _far_ from ordinary.

Though his hair lay in disarray and his temples pounded, though blood stained his vision, he resolutely raised his gaze and climbed back to his feet to await this worthy enemy.

He needn't wait long.

 _ **"From one monster to another**_ _ **...you're fighting for the wrong side."**_

A harsh crunch within the smoke signaled Berserker's arrival behind him, prompting Lancer to turn on his heel.

"Trying to see through me now, Berserker?" he challenged. "You'll find I'm not so easily swayed...unlike your dear Siegfried."

Laughter trickled through the smoke; it was a deep, throat sound that had no business coming from a human throat. _**"Now, now, don't knock kick the poor chap when he's down. After all, he's not a bad person. Just...confused. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to switch sides once our Saber finishes with him."**_

"Inconsequential. If he attempts turns then I will slay him. Simple as that."

 _ **"You know what they say, legends are what we make of them. But you would know that, wouldn't you...Dracula?"**_

Shrouded in scarlet light, Uzumaki Naruto emerged from the fog of war, advancing resolutely towards him. Not alone. That strange peerless energy was there with him, writhing and twisting around him, almost forming a coherent shape. The likeness of some phantasmal beast...no, he realized, _a fox._ Two crimson tails swayed lazily behind the blond, also composed of that strange seething light. What _was_ that? It looked as though he were wearing it like some kind of tainted coat. Or was it wearing him? No, that wasn't important.

That insult just now could not be tolerated.

"Do not call me that, Berserker!"

His mouth curled upward.

 _ **"Call you what?"**_

"THAT!"

A wall of stakes erupted between them, but rather than dodge the blond barreled straight through them, uncaring for the minor wounds he sustained.

 **"That won't work twice!"**

Lancer's first thought was to ready himself for an assault, but rather than get up close and personal as he'd expected, Berserker stopped short and struck further than he should have. A wave of his own answered, in the tainted form a crimson claw; viscertal energy erupting from his body to cut a bloody swathe against the Impaler's unprotected torso. Blood sluiced forrth and the Servant staggered, choking in surprise.

"You...!"

Clenched knuckles slammed up into his chin, casting him away as though he weighed no more than a child.

 _ **"How the tides have turned, eh vampire?"**_

On some level he knew he was being baited, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that. The mere mention of that hated name stirred reminders of his wish, the desire to rectify the stain against his history made by that atrocious work. Of the taint inflicted upon his honor-no, his very name. For one whose legacy had already smeared by enemy campaigns, the notion of being compared to a blood-drinking _fiend_ was more than galling. Until now he'd done his best to ignore it, but this slight threatened to dash his resolve altogether. For someone to simply claim they knew him...!

Clawed fingers slammed into his liver, drawing a pained grunt.

 _ **"There's no need to be ashamed."**_ Much to Vlad's chagrin, his opponent continued to bait him between blows. _**"I'm familiar enough with your legend. Go on. Use it. Your other Noble Phantasm. Do it. Give me a worthwhile fight!"**_

With a roar Vlad cut out at him, lopping away the man's right ear.

It regrew in the time it him took to strike again.

"I am not Dracula!"

 _ **"Ha! Could've fooled me!"**_

Rage knotted his bearded visage.

"Cease!" he howled! "I am _not_ that abomination!"

Enraged he cut out at Berserker unthinkingly, only to find his once deadly spear caught by that clawed palm.

 _ **"And I'm not...this."**_ heedless of caustic energy roiling around them, Berserker snarled back at him. _ **"This fucking**_ **thing.** _ **This monster! I conquered this, ya know? Made peace with Kurama and all that. But legends have a funny way of being twisted by time, don't they? So here I am, madder than ever. The only difference?"**_ A clawed finger drove in upon his own skull, drawing a thin line of blood against the black fabric of his headband. _ **"Now he's gone. And I'm alone. All his power, none of the companionship. I've come to terms with it. If the world thinks me mad, let them. I know the truth. Why should I care what others think of me? Why should you for that matter?"**_

Lies and treachery!

He refused to believe such words, to accept that!

In his fury Lancer lashed out the only way he could think of.

"Mere words." Vlad spat back. "Is that all? But what else could be expected of one with such a shoddy Master?"

A slow, treacherous twitch passed through the blond's face, gone almost before the keen-eyed Servant noticed. Almost.

 _ **"Careful. You're making me angry."**_ a clawed fingers rose, directing a deadly digit toward him. _**"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."**_

"Did I strike a nerve?" Lancer retorted with a wry smile. "I believe its only fair, given you're holding back as well. Not as much of a monster as you seem, hmm?"

 _ **...tch. Perceptive bastard aren't you?"** _to his great delight, that insufferable smile soured like rotten fruit. _**"This is why I have to the be the one to kill you. Maker knows I've got the lives for it."**_

There it was, another hint dropped at his feet, just waiting to be picked up.

Vlad did just that.

"Are you claiming to be immortal?" golden eyes narrowed. "Surely you jest. Even you have your limits."

No he'd done _precisely_ that, though they both knew it, neither would acknowledge it.

Lips parted in a snaggle-toothed grin.

 _ **"Try me."**_

When presented with the opportunity Lancer didn't hesitate; he struck the moment Berserker of Red released him and folded both arms behind his back.

For the second time that night his weapon tasted blood.

Berserker perished on the spot.

Rather, he should have.

Taken low in the waist, Naruto accepted the blow stoically and actually staggered half a step before righting himself. The light left his eyes and he slumped, toppling backwards...until quite suddenly, he wasn't. To Vlad's dismay, the blond braced his feet, threw his arms further back and cackled. It was the sound of a man gone mad, a hero twisted by vile rumors and half-truths. Then he began to rise. As he straightened up so too did his chest stitch itself back together, mending with painstaking slowness. Flesh defied gravity and slipped back into place. Blood flowed like milk, molding across his cloak as mangled flesh slid shut.

 _ **"Oh, Vlad! Stop! You're splitting me in two!"**_ he laughed, wiping a mirthful tear from his eye. _**"Now do it another oh...I dunno...seven times?"**_ his battered skull tilted, considering. _ **"Or was it nine? I don't remember. Already lost a few lives, and its soooo hard to keep track of those these days...**_

Lancer stared at him, a snake of dread coiling in his stomach.

"What the devil are you?" he hissed blackly.

Red eyes rolled back to meet his.

 _ **"Et tu, Dracula? Its just as I said earlier."**_ his voice warbled strangely just then, as though someone were speaking alongside him, though a man or a woman, he could not discern. _ **"We're the same, you and I. The only difference is that I've accepted what I am."**_

"And what is that?"

As he looked on, the blond crossed his fingers.

 _ **"Whatever the hell I want to be. For instance!"**_

For a fleeting instant that bloodied visage vanished in a white plume of smoke. Coughing in shock as much as surprise, Lancer struck out with his weapon, half expecting an attack. Instead his lance met a bare forearm, small and slender, raised in defense of its owner. That was alarming enough in and of itself, but what followed...

 _ **"Hi~!"**_

...what the actual hell.

When next he reappeared and he thought he beheld a woman's face.

Much to his consternation Berserker was nowhere to be found, rather, he found himself gazing down into the visage this strange young woman. No, wait. Now that he peered at her he noticed a resemblance; the whiskers, those keen red eyes, that striking blond hair, even bound behind her head in that ridiculous style. Moreover she completely lacked clothing of any sort beyond the strange scarlet shroud sheathing her body. Bits of errant fading smoke concealed several choice bits from view, but not for much longer. For all his resolve a confused flush still rose to his pale cheeks.

"What madness is this?!"

Clad in crimson light, the woman flashed an impish grin.

 **"I'm _so_ sorry," **she purred, **"Am I making you uncomfortable?"**

 _Very much so, yes!_

Growling he swiped at her, forcing her to bound away. "Cease this foolishness at once!"

 _ **"Fine, fine. Just kill all the fun. Put it in camps, why don't you?"**_ Cackling she snapped her fingers.

A secondary plume of smoke sprang to life around "her" and this time, Vlad stayed the hell away from it. In the end he needn't have bothered, for Berserker emerged fully clothed once more and-thankfully!-striding forth from the fog as male as he'd ever been.

 _ **"Been waiting for an excuse to use that."**_ Again came that crazed grin, madder than ever before. _**"You should've seen your face!"**_

...very well. I miscalculated." Vlad growled, settling into a low stance. "Next time I'll aim for your head!"

That grin grew further still. **"You're assuming I'll give you another chance!"**

When the blond blurred he barely reacted in time.

"Wall!"

At his command the earth shifted, forming a small mountain of stakes at his flank.

They shuddered mightily as a clawed fist crunched against them.

"This is...nothing!"

He pulled harder on his reserves, creating great ravines in the earth, entire chasms swelling with stakes, spikes capable of skewering a boar, a tiger, then an elephant. Sweat beaded down his brow but still he fought on, pulling more and more prana until the very soil buckled beneath them. Yet still his opponent didn't emerge, striking at him with lightning-quick blows, never remaining in once place for more than a moment. Faced with such speed it was all he could do merely to track him, much less pin him down. Some would've faltered when faced with such a foe. Not Lancer. He still held one final card, one last ace up his sleeve. Just a little more...he needed a few moments more...

"Coward! Fight me like a man!"

 _ **"What is a man but a miserable little pile of secrets?!"**_

Now, had Naruto been possessed of his wits and a certain vital piece of intelligence, he would've realized _he_ was the one being provoked now. Perhaps, had he known the terrible truth he would've hesitated; realized that their battle had become a war of attrition, one he simply couldn't win by conventional means. Not only did his opponent possess nigh unlimited mana thanks to the Black Faction's manipulations, but he stood at his physical peak. Not bound to one source as they were, the Servants of Black could feasibly outlast any one of them and emerge the victor in this skirmish, so long as they were careful.

Unfortunately, he'd never been one for strategy.

If this continued at this pace he'd be forced to use "that" Noble Phantasm whether he wanted to or not. The more he fought the worse it became; his body becoming entranced by battle, a wide, mad grin dominating his whiskered visage as he struck out at his opponent. He was enjoying himself, his darker half taking hold. Under any other circumstances he wouldn't have hesitated; he wasn't particularly fond of Lancer of Black, nor did he feel any real need to bend his ear, unlike Siegfried. But with allies mixed amongst his enemies he didn't trust himself. Madness Enhancement was not an element to be inflicted lightly, and if _he_ lost control...

 _Thud._

Abruptly he stumbled as a series of stakes inexplicably erupted from upper torso.

The sudden explosion of pain caused him to miss half a step, sending him stumbling forward. A second wave caught him, sprouting from his legs to buckle his limbs and force him to his knees. Coughing, the crimson-clad blond glanced down at his chest, a thin bloody line trailing out of his open mouth. Those stakes hadn't come from Vlad just now. Rather, they'd emerged from _within_ him. As unlikely as it might seem, he knew this to be truth.

Aghast, he looked upright.

 _ **"What...the hell?"**_

A fresh spike emerged from his throat, snapping his neck back.

 ** _"Ack?!"_**

Low laughter trickled into his ears, inflaming his confusion to a feverish degree.

Straining against the pain, he willed his broken body to move.

 _ **"You didn't...hit me...what is this...?"**_

"Sorry to disappoint you, but my Noble Phantasm aren't the stakes alone." Lancer's smug voice rose over the roaring in his ears. "With your resistance, it took some time for them to form. However," the crisp sound of bootfalls pounding in his blood like the beating of a second heart, "My phantasm is the very concept of "being skewered by stakes" itself. Therefore!" A fresh wave of spikes slammed through the blond's torso, driving the breath from his body even as his oppressor approached, "As long as you remain inside my territory, you can't escape from my Noble Phantasm!"

Flicking a hand forward, Vlad offered him a rueful smile.

"Lets end this, Berserker of Red!"

Red eyes blazed white.

 _ **"Laaaaaaancer~!"**_

Rather than flesh the descending storm met crimson.

Not the shroud shielding the blond, but a veritable tower of ruby rage.

The night ignited all at once, the flames of hell burning away every stake before it could strike him. More than that, it was as if the underworld itself had opened up beneath them, releasing a chorus of horrible sounds that chilled the blood. Laughter, low and hoarse and horrible rose around him, darker than the evening itself.

 **"I really didn't want to do this, you know,"** he rasped, the words sounding strange and foreign in his mouth, **"My Noble Phantasm is a bit broken, ya see. Blame my warped legend for that. I have to use it a certain way before I can realize its true potential. Now, as a reward for pushing me this far...I'll try to kill you quickly."**

Swaying drunkenly on his feet, the invader ripped himself free of the stakes and stumbled upright, uncaring for the battered state of his body. An eerie black miasma leaked from his form, further tainting the strange scarlet shroud protecting him. As Lancer looked on a fourth tail bloomed behind Berserker's back, joining the trio of its brothers assembled there. A thorn of doubt held him back from attacking. What did this fourth tail mean? What did it signify?

Why did he feel this sudden dread?

 **"Kurama."**

"What?" Vlad blinked, momentarily baffled by the name.

 _ **"That's the name of the entity that I used to house."**_ those eerie blank eyes rose to meet his. _**"The Nine-Tailed Fox. Until now I've only used three against you...let that sink in."**_

Under his watchful gaze Berserker's body began to bend and twist; his back arching, fangs growing steadily more pronounced in his mouth, visibly trying to break free. Was his body breaking? Had he pushed himself past his limits at last and reached the point of no return? Surely that must be it. Yes, of course. To think otherwise meant Berserker had an ace of his own left to play, a card he hadn't yet seen. Which meant...!

"You were holding back? This entire time?"

 _ **"Bingooo~!"**_ the blond's hoarse voice hissed.

Then the flesh of his whiskered face began to peel.

Revealed was the current of crimson light arcing beneath.

 ** _"Here I come, Lord Impaler. Hope you've got enough stakes."_**

"Come now, don't be a fool. You're beaten. Even you can see that. Join me!"

 _ **...I'm flattered. But...no. No, you're going to PAY for everything you said about my Master...!"**_

"And how do you aim to make me pay?" Vlad scoffed, struggling to hide the growing unease dawning within his chest. This was a bluff. Surely it had to be. "With that broken body of yours? You'll only stumble and fall like the rest. Don't struggle in such an unsightly way before me."

 ** _"Unsightly...?"_**

Berserker grinned.

Turned his head, slowly.

 **"You're missing the point."**

These words emerged with an eerie calm.

Lancer arched an eyebrow. "What are you...?"

His entire body seemed to pulse with otherworldly radiance, as though lit from within. Gold vied with crimson, wild prana warring for a dominance within his body. While neither triumphed, the tension continued to rise, sending his skin writhing madly. Veins throbbed in his forehead and neck, his appearance becoming more and more feral as Lancer looked on. Indeed, those once gentle red eyes held a decidedly slitted look to them now, wide and nearly euphoric with demented glee. Not just that, his very presence felt unstable, cracks of energy bursting beneath the skin with wild abandon. Surely he wouldn't continue this. Not unless he intended to...

"No!"

Too late, he realized his intent.

 **"YES!"**

The explosion hit a heartbeat later.

By contrast this blast was relatively contained; little more than a sudden pulse of dark red, a shell of ebony cocooning the blond in shadow. A foul wind carried a plume of dust to the forefront of Lancer's gaze. There one moment, gone the next. Four tails of the blackest crimson lashed at the ground to shatter it like so much glass. Once more, Berserker had vanished. This time, when the smoke cleared, there wasn't so much as a hint of humanity to be see in him. No, not human at all. A beast. A monster. A creature apart, crafted in the hideous caricature of a human being.

The Beast turned its gaze upon Lancer.

With slow, shuddering steps, those hideous white eyes took his measure and found him wanting. No, perhaps he'd been wrong. There was a _hunger_ to that gaze, an all-encompassing avarice surpassed only the madness subsuming his form. Again his gaze was drawn to those four tails, now more solid and opaque than ever before. Four tails. Not even half the strength of his Noble Phantasm. Yet the sight of it rooted him where he stood, unmanned him, threatened to undo his very existence.

That twisted maw curled in a rictus of a grin.

Clawed hands dug deep furrows upon the ground, tensing in preparation of a mighty leap. Its entire body shifted, that slumped back arching hideously. A slow, shuddering hiss fled from the ghastly tear that served as its mouth; no more quips emerged from that ghastly maw, no jokes, no witty one-liners. There was only the Beast, only the need to attack, to ravage, to destroy. His gaze shifted warily, watching those clawed feet, the thick corded muscles that made up its legs. The attack would come in an instant. A bead of sweat trickled down his brow, his lance rising in preparation-

Agony.

Fire blazed through his left shoulder as the Beast barreled past him in a twisted mass of motion. He hadn't even seen it move. Just a red blur. A crimson haze. Yet still his shoulder shrieked in agony, demanding his attention at once. Reluctantly he risked a quick glance, never once doubting his chances for victory. Of course he wouldn't lose. This was his land. His territory. He was superior. Invincible. So long as he retained this power, no one would be able to match him for long, much less...less...

...aghast, Vlad gaped openly at the ruined bleeding tear that had replaced his elbow.

Clutching the ruined remnants of his arm in its maw the beast turned.

Contemptuously, it spat out the limb and growled.

It was the sound of his death knell.

 _Then it fell upon him anew._

 **A/N: Yup I went there.**

 **Someone's finally awake.**

 **The Holy Grail has begun to move.**

 **And we may have just seen our first casualty...or have we?**

 **Naruto's gone berserker, so good bloody luck stopping him as he is now.**

 **As far as Sieg goes, it can be literally ANY Homunculus in this iteration. Boy, or a girl. After all, Sieg only gained his name thanks to Siegfried.**

 **Only time will tell who survives this...**

 **Oh, and turns out I'm having a tooth extracted now. Such misfortune! Why has the world forsaken me so?!** **Yes that bit with the grail is coming, but I won't say when. I want this story to be a good one; I don't want to rush events like Apocrypha did, but in the same vein, I aim to keep things at a steady pace. Of course, reviews feed my engine of creation, soooo...**

 **Once again for the sake of clarity I'll explain the state of things as far as the relationships go.**

 **When I say that, I mean what Naruto thinks of the _girls_ and then _their_ feelings:**

 **The Holy Grail= Anomaly/Oh, that's cute.**

 **Jack= Daughter/Father.**

 **Jean= Master/Servant.**

 **Jeanne= Ally/Enigma.**

 **Mordred= Partner/Potential Love Interest.**

 **Atalanta= Friend/Someone Who Must Not Be Killed.**

 **Semiramis= Pity/ Mild Concern.**

 **Frankenstein= Sibling/#% &^?**

 **Astolfo= Are You Kidding me?!/WHO THE HELL IS HE?!**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **No previews this time!**

 **R &R~!**


	8. The Beast

**A/N:** **A/N: (EDIT: I forgot to include Mordred's battle damage and Siegfried's fate in the last chapter. Fixed!)**

 **I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!**

 **BEHOLD MY LABOR OF BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS! MORE THAN THIRTEEN THOUSAND WORDS FOR YOU ALL!**

 **Whew. Feeling dizzy now. I'm absolutely drained, exhausted-have work in the morning-but gosh darn it I am SATISFIED!**

 **Now,** **Before we get into the rest of it, I want to give a shout-out to a story I recently discovered-and finished-reading only an hour ago:**

 **"Chaos Theory" by Moczo.**

 **It. Is. INCREDIBLE.**

 **Moreover, it's COMPLETE! Forty-four chapters in all!**

 **You want a pure Fate story with deep, meaningful characters? You want a new, original route? Check it out!**

 **Blew me right out of the water with its wit, charm, battles, and sheer insanity. Give it a look! I'm officially endorsing it!**

 **On another note, what is RWBY and why is it so popular? I'm not kidding, I'm only just now hearing about it. From what I've heard it has several seasons, but as of late a TON of people have been asking/demanding that I write a crossover with it. Problem is...**

 **...I have no idea what is.**

 **Help, please?**

 **Now then, who said I can't update when I'm recovering from surgery?! Eh?! Oi?! What's this story then?!**

 **WARNING!**

 **This chapter is...intense.**

 **I suggest you gird yourself, because this chapter is going to be rough. For one? It contains character death. I won't say who. Our merry little band begins to fracture in some aspects, yet come together in others. It deals with emotions, trauma, betrayal, and all manner of emotional stuff. Fate rarely has a happy ending for anyone associate with it, but this chapter dives right into the ugly heart of that matter and drags it to the surface, kicking and screaming.**

 **Furthermore, these chapters take so long to write because...well...have you SEEN the cast of Apocrypha?! That's a lot to work with on a normal day, and I've added to it! I love writing this story, truly I do, but ach, sometimes it gives me a migraine...**

 **Events have been building for the last seven chapters.**

 **We're about to cut loose for real.**

 **Now prepare yourself.**

 **WE'VE RECEIVED MORE THAN SEVEN HUNDRED REVIEWS AT THE TIME OF THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! LET'S GET IT TO EIGHT HUNDRED! YOU GUYS ROCK! On another note t** **hese chapters take so long to write because there's so much to INCLUDE in them. After all, this story is about Fate AND Naruto. If I wanted to write about Naruto and Naruto alone, they'd be a lot shorter, no?** **Nobody wants that!**

 **And once again, that blasted obligatory disclaimer:**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Secondary warning!**

 **Once more, this chapter is going to be a roller-coaster of emotions. And when I say emotional, I mean the "rip out your heart and stomp it to bits" kind of emotional. You might laugh. You might cry. You might try to strangle me through the screen. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you try to do all three. The story isn't over by any means, but we've reached the end of "Part One" as things stand.** **Now comes "Part Two" and all the madness that brings.**

 **There, you've been warned twice.**

 **In short, it goes from 0 to 100 real freaking fast.**

 **There, we've finished that, so lets get the catchphrase out of the way, ey?**

 **REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION! Well, if you like. I can't force you~!**

 **Hearing your kind words keeps me inspired and gives me the drive to keep updating, ill as I am...**

 **So lets clarify and answer all of your questions, eh?**

 **Q: Who would you say is the most dangerous Servant at the moment.**

 **A: Shakespeare, without question. Yes, other Servants have terrible powers, wicked strength and the like, but give _him_ the right leverage and he'll utterly crush you. Not your body mind, but your spirit. Your very soul. Look what he nearly did to Ruler? If given the time to set up, his Noble Phantasm can ruin someone.**

 **Q: Did you deliberately make Rider of Black female?**

 **A: THIS iteration of Astolfo is female, yes. I already wrote a female Gilgamesh, why not her? It also makes events more...amusing. Don't worry, Astolfo will remain male in other stories; he's simply a "she" for the purpose of this story.** **Again, yes, Rider of Black is female in this story because reasons. There. Its been stated. Sorry if this upsets anyone. She's fun to write in this chapter, regardless!**

 **Q: So...did Naruto just go off the deep end there?**

 **A: In a sense. You could say he willingly went Berserker against Vlad; it was that or die. It'll be a team effort to bring him back. There was a reason he was trying so hard not to use the cloak...**

 **...and now, the world will see why he was summoned as Berserker.**

 **Q: What kind of fight is this?!**

 **A: Well, it'll be a brawl. You'll see what I mean.**

 **Q: Not a bad chapter, really. Good details, exciting, fun, not bad characterization.**

 **I admit though, now I'm harboring the thought of Jack getting mad at ATALANTA for telling Naruto to not let her fight and thus putting his life at risk. I thought it would be an unexpected and fun twist.**

 **A: Jack will NOT be happy to learn she was excluded from a fight, one that brought Naruto to this.**

 **Q: Atalanta just SCREWED herself. She literally forced Naruto to go Berserk or die. All because she selfishly wanted to keep Jack safe.**

 **A: Yeah, the others aren't going to be happy with her. Now they've got a Berserk Naruto on their hands and really we've seen how hard it is to stop him when he goes mad. Furthermore, Atalanta has proven herself to be utterly irrational herself, and when she feels responsible for something or someone...**

 **...who knows what lengths she might go through to make this right?**

 **Q: NINETAILS BEAST MODE WHOOOOOOOOO! Wait a minute though, isn't that a power sink?**

 **A: If he uses it too long he'll drain his reserves and starting taking from his Master's lifeforce. In short? It will literally KILL Jean if used too much. Its worse for Jack, seeing as she's directly linked to Naruto, meaning she literally NEEDS him to supply a stable source of prana or she'll simply vanish. Too much of that, and well...**

 **...they dead.**

 **Q: WHAT ABOUT SIEGFRIED AND ASTOLFO?!**

 **A:** **We see the conclusion of their battles in this chapter, yes.**

 **Q: Romance romance ROMANCE!**

 **A: Down boy! You'll get it bloody soon!**

 **Q: So. Naruto pissed off the Holy Grail. Why am I not surprised?**

 **A: As ever, the Grail does have a personality. We've seen this in other iterations. This one is...kinder than the corrupted one, but it doesn't understand humans as a whole. Think of it as a blank slate, one that knows WHAT needs to be done, but not the when or how or why.**

 **Q: NEW FACTION DETAILS PLEASE!**

 **A: Its essentially a tertiary group of Servants lacking Masters, wholly loyal to the grail. Of course, that's not to say they won't have their own motives and the like. Their function is essentially to keep the war "pure" and prevent any tampering by outside forces. Their faction may well be larger than normal...you'll see why.**

 **Q: So does Naruto have access to all of his abilities seen in his previous life?**

 **A: Yes and no. He has them but they're locked atm. As he said, rumors have skewed his abilities so he _can_ use them, but not as well as he'd like. There are conditions to be met...**

 **...and now said conditions have just turned around to bite the Red Faction in the ass.**

 **Alright, notes and other matters aside...OF WE GO!**

 **Downright dark in places here, _soooo_ heads up!**

 **Invasion really got me pumped up for this.**

 **The Apocrypha soundtrack, that is.**

 **Get ready for some good shit.**

 _"You did this to him, Archer! This is your fault!"_

 _"No, I...I only...I didn't think he would..._

 _"He would what? Try to survive?!"_

 _"I...that's not...he...promised..._

 _"Promised? Promise what?!"_

 _"Forgive me...Forgive me..._

 ** _"What did you do?!"_**

 _~Saber and Archer._

 **The Beast**

 _Jack screamed._

At least, she _thought_ she was screaming. Was she? She'd long since lost the ability to tell. Surely she must be. Her throat felt sick and scratchy-scraped raw by her own shrieks-her every cell united in singular agony as she writhed upon the heartless stone floor. Though she grit her teeth against it a fresh surge of searing skittered across her torso as she curled in on herself, frantically adopting a fetal position in a vain attempt to ward off the forces trying to tear her apart from within. Somehow this only made the pain worse.

Too much.

It was just too much.

 _Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch!_

There was too much energy within her small body, too much prana without, with no healthy way to release either. Yet still it came; a near limitless flow of energy channeled through her connection to Naruto. A connection forced wide open by his Noble Phantasm, one she wasn't able to close. Golden eyes blazed red and she screamed anew, baring her teeth in a wordless scream as she thrashed. Something was trying to take over her very sense of self, reaching out through their shared bond to tear at her soul.

"What the hell's gotten into her?!"

Oh, was that Saber's Master? It sounded like him. Why was he so angry? What had she done wrong? Distantly she was aware of rough hands seizing upon her slim shoulders, trying to keep her from hurting herself. To no avail. There were other hands too, smaller palms that she recognized as Her back arched with a wordless shriek, spine twisting horribly, fingers clawing at her scalp.

 ** _"Make it stop!"_**

In a fit of panic she seized upon Sisigou's arm.

"Make it stop, mommy!" the Servant wailed! "Make it stop!"

"I would if I could!" The necromancer sputtered. "Holy hell that hurts! She's gonna break my arm!"

Jean found herself in the same boat, nearly helpless to anything but watch as the poor girl clung to Saber's Master.

Her very circuits felt as though they were afire; it was all she could do to control her breathing. Every gasp was fire, turning the air in her lungs to steam whenever she exhaled. Her skin felt superheated, fire to the touch, as she fitfully hugged her arms close to herself. It was only her immense control and pride as a magus that kept her from collapsing on the spot. Command Spells were useless here; she was in such pain, such agony, that she couldn't even use one anymore, much less muster up the willpower to do so. Even had she been in her right mind to do so, her Servant would've resisted, such was his maddened state. He'd warned her, hadn't he?

Still, she felt compelled to try.

"Berserker, stop! By the power of my Command Spell _-aargh?!"_

White-hot _hell_ snarled down the length of her arm, shattering her concentration.

Her body convulsed in a shuddering gasp and collapsed, leaving her clutching at the burning brand that was her hand. With each passing moment Berserker took from her, his Noble Phantasm a veritable sink that sucked her prana dry. A low, exasperated hiss snaked through her clenched teeth.

"Just what the hell is going on out there...?"

Perhaps, given time to prepare, to muster her reserves, she might have-certainly!-lasted longer. Found a workaround of some sort, a means of alternative energy that wouldn't leave her hanging between the precipice of life and death. But that was neither here nor there. How much longer would she last?

Five minutes?

Ten at best?

Worse, Jack was linked far more intimately to Naruto than she; the wee sprite depended on him for prana to exist in this world, and now that very prana was burning her alive. No doubt the sudden surge had something to do with Berserker's battle. He'd been pushed too far, too fast by Lancer. In the end, he'd been forced to cast his sanity aside just to survive. Even now she could feel his blood-lust, his fury unleashed with no regard for friend or foe.

Nevermind poor Jack, if this continued for much longer...

...if he continued fighting in this state...

 _...they were all going to die._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

 _"Ohshitohshitohshitwhyishechasingmeeeeeeeeeee~?!"_

Upon the battlefield, chaos reigned supreme. There was no order to be had here, no graceful duel conducted with honor and chivalry. Only bloodshed and death. As one might expect of a battle involving _six servants_ this clash surpassed all others before it. Heaven and earth alike trembled beneath their blows; there were none before them, and there would be none after them. There could be no mercy here, no truce, no offer of parley or any such alliance. There was only death. Only the victor...or the defeated.

Rider of Black was no exception to this rule.

"Will you please stop~?!" Astolfo cried, twisting out of the way, as a crimson claw nearly claimed her face, "Time out! OUT! Seriously, just wait a sec-YEEK!"

A yelp tore out of her as those snapping jaws nearly tore her face off; in desperation she flung her lance between her and the creature and threw her body out of harms way. Unthinking, her eyes betrayed her, closing themselves against this nameless horror trying to kill her. The horrible squeal of torn fabric steel reached her ears a moment later, forcing her to open them again. Rather than lose her pretty visage, she found herself gazing at the ruined tear of her once-flowing cape, a good quarter of the peerless fabric-bitten clean off by those jagged teeth.

"Moh, really?!" She wailed, eyes narrow upon the ruin of her beloved cloak. "This was my favorite cape! Do you have any IDEA how long it will take to fix this _-nonononottheFACE!"_

How had it come to this?

Mere moments ago this _creature_ had come crashing into her battle with Archer without warning, without thought, without mercy to attack them both. Poor Hippogriff. It hadn't stood a chance. He'd nearly killed her mount outright before she managed to dismiss it and she daren't call to it again before it healed, not when doing so meant its death but that this rate she was going to die and oh god it was going to _hurt-aha!_

Spying an opening in the endless stream of clawed crimson swiping at her, Astolfo sprung back on her hands and vaulted away.

"Fine! Be that way!"

Alighting upon a scorched hill, she drew herself up, puffed out her chest and leveled her lance at him. The Beast paused, considering her in quiet confusion. It had not expected its prey to strike up such a pose in the midst of battle, much less at a distance where it could be so easily reached.

Nevertheless, Astolfo did just that.

"Let those afar off listen; those who are near can see. I am one of Charlemagne's Paladin-

The abomination pounced again and Astolfo was suddenly very much preoccupied with trying not to become its _meal._

"Oh come _ooooooooooooon~!_ At least let me finish, you big bastard!" she sobbed! "I haven't had an opportunity to in so long!"

Archer was of absolutely no help at all in this running battle that followed, she just stood there, utterly transfixed by the horror Berserker had come, her eyes large and round with horror. Rider wondered if she would defend herself, should Berserker attack again. No, not Berserker. This seething mass of wrath and spite and hate could no longer be called such. Temporarily deprived of her mount-and much of the mobility that came with its unique ability-it was all she could do just to stay out of Berserker's way, much less defend herself.

However, this didn't mean she lacked _some_ means of offense.

"Trap of Algaria!"

A rotund sphere of light loosed itself from her battered lance to obliterate one of those twisted tails, but the Beast barreled onward without a care in the world. A second took it low in the stomach and still it powered on, endlessly chasing, endlessly seeking her head. Though she skipped backwards in rapid retreat, it pursued her with single-minded determination, striking erratically at her at random, yet always with the intent to maim or kill, and by god it was actually going to _do_ that if she gave it anymore leeway.

"Tch, persistent, aren't you?!" she hissed. "Aren't you being a little too forward?!"

The lowest of growls was his sole response.

Rider wasn't terribly strong as far as Servants came; her skills lay in the unique Noble Phantasms she'd collected over her life.

Unfortunately, she'd exhausted most of those already just trying to _keep him away._

But she was a Servant nonetheless, and thus, she fought on until-

 _Thunk!_

Berserker and Rider both turned, the former to find an arrow had sprouted from their shoulder. To Astolfo's horror she realized what had happened; rather, what was about to transpire. Those fell hands released her, their own turned, pivoting on a scorched heel to face the one who dared shoot it in the back.

"Berserker, stop this!" Atalanta regarded it with teary eyes. "This isn't you! Return to normal already! I can't bear to see you like this!"

Without, thought, without warning, it pounced towards Archer.

"You idiot!" Rider cried! "Now its after you!"

Damnit, where the hell had Saber gone?! Red or Black, _either_ would be very helpful right now-

 ** _"CLARENT BLOOD ARTHUR!"_**

In that moment, the gods saw fit to answer Rider's prayer in the form of a crimson pillar; one that slammed into the Beast's flank with sound and fury. Struck mere moments before it could land a fatal blow, the beast vanished into the torrent of red with a tormented scream. Rider felt her every hair stand on end, her very skin growing uncomfortably warm beneath her armor, and she wasn't even the _target._ Berserker was, however and he took the full brunt of Saber's Noble Phantasm to his chest.

It didn't kill him.

An icy chill crept down Rider's spine as she watched his body tumble away, its severed halves falling to the wayside. Still moving. One was already beginning to right itself, even as Saber's terrible Noble Phantasm swelled back to life again and came crashing down on it. Really, Rider wanted to cry. She wasn't cut out for a battle like this; here she was, a humble paladin, fighting against gods and monsters. Nope. Not fair. Not at all. Truly, it was _so_ unfair that she considered quitting outright; it was only her pride that prevented it.

Even so, she couldn't _quite_ get up as Saber of Red made her grand entrance to land beside her.

She'd seen better days; that once pristine suit of scarlet steel armor was worn and pitted against her slight frame, exposing the girl beneath. More than half her horned helm had been shorn away by some incredible force, exposing wild aqua orbs and a near-murderous scowl. She was wounded to be sure, but her arm was still steady, her blade still true and Rider sensed that she was very much a force to be reckoned with.

"Better get up!" the blond called out to her over the storm. "I've seen him regenerate before; this won't stop him for long!"

"Seriously?!" Aghast, Rider managed an insolent sputter. "Why'd you even save me?!"

"Dunno." Saber retorted with a shrug. "Felt like the right thing to do, I guess."

"What the hell even _is_ your Berserker?! Is he immortal or something?!"

"Hell if I know!" came the rejoinder.

That attack had blown him in half and by Saber's own admission, he was going to get up again. Catapulted towards the outskirts of town, his body flailed without thought or purpose, unable to arrest its abrupt flight. Even as it struggled upright a fresh wave of scarlet slammed it back down, burying it beneath the earth. Unbidden, an ugly thought occurred to her.

"Where the hell is our Saber?!"

Something pained flashed across Mordred's face. "None of your damn business, pipsqueak."

Astolfo bristled at the condescending tone with which she'd just been addressed. _"Itismybusinessthankyouverymuch!"_

"Screw you then! I blew him halfway across the damn country-

In the distance, a speck of cold crimson resolved into existence once more.

"Oh, jeez." the enemy Saber sight softly to herself. "I didn't think he'd get up that quickly."

Apparently, this was enough to reactivate Archer of Red, for she sprang back to life and leaped to her side. Her tormented expression reminded Rider of things she'd rather forget, so she forgot them. Just like that. Ah, the joy of lacking common sense!

"Saber...I...

"Good, you're moving!" her fellow warrior hummed. "Gonna need your help for this."

 _"Retreat, Rider."_ Celenike's silken, smoky voice chose that moment to pervade her mind, blotting out whatever exchange occurred between them. _"Saber and Lancer are both down and you're no match for Berserker as he is now. The fool's gone mad; we'll let him do our work for us."_

 _'Wait, Berserker?'_

"What?!" the pinkette balked. "You can't be serious, Master! This...this thing is...

A furious shriek silenced her. _"DO AS I SAY! By the power of my Command Spell I order you to retreat and return to my side! NOW!"_

Bound by the power of that order Astolfo's body betrayed her despite her best efforts to resist; even as she struggled to stand her body collapsed back into astral form and vanished from the field. Tch. How disappointing. At a loss, she offered a reluctant, irritated shrug as Saber spat at her fading form.

"Sorry, guys! My Master's calling. Take care of him for me, will you?"

"Tch, coward!" Mordred spat. "Don't you dare run away!"

Not like she could do much else. _"Bye~bye~!"_

Her last sight of the pitched battle was that of Berserker blitzing his comrades at full speed; as befitting of a warrior, the Knight of Rebellion stepped up to to meet the beast's inevitable charge with gusto, an unyielding bulwark in the face of adversity. A swell of Prana Burst further empowered her already strained muscles and battered him into the ground like an unruly mole. A beat of silence followed as its body twitched, struggling to right itself while simultaneously trapped beneath ground. In any other light it would've been funny...were it not for the searing miasma of sheer _hate_ stemming from the beast.

"Snap out of it, zombie!" Mordred roared! "We're on the same side!"

Atalanta couldn't help but tremble at the sight.

"My fault...this is...all my fault...

Mordred's head snapped around with such force that she could've sworn she heard her neck crack; those piercing aqua green orbs locked onto her and condemned her in the same instant. The Beast stirred and she gave a mighty holler and drove him back into the earth, burying him deep. Her actions did little to stem her rage.

"Whaddya mean this is your fault?! What did you do?!"

"No, I...I only...I didn't think he would...

She told her, the words tumbling out of in a faltering mess, a small, dismayed laugh leaping from Atalanta's lips. It truly was; she understood that now; her actions had forced Berserker to degrade himself to this state; made him into the monster before them. By refusing to allow him to call for Jack she'd forced him to open the door to madness just to survive against Lancer. Now he'd turned on them in his madness. That gentle smile had vanished, swallowed whole by the beast and all the terror it brought with it.

"He would what?" Saber raged at her. "Try to survive?!"

"That's not...he promised...

Mordred struck her full in the face.

"Promised what?!"

That open-palmed _smack_ cracked across her visage with such force that the archer saw _stars._ Stunned, she staggered back half a step, clutching at her crimson visage. There were no tears. She was too proud to cry from a mere strike to the face but it stung her pride nevertheless and her heart lurched against it. Recoiling, she gaped back at her.

"Coward!" the word proved damning all by itself. "What were you thinking?! Who said you could be so selfish?!"

Wordlessly, the archer crumpled.

"I'm so sorry...

With that her mind finally buckled under the strain; guilt and grief subsuming her every waking thought. What had she done? What had she done, what had she done, what had she done? There could be no forgiveness for this, no mercy offered, nor accepted. This was, wholeheartedly, her fault.

She had nothing left to give here-no, wait.

She did have one card left to play in her hand.

Never let it be said that Atalanta was one to think rationally.

An ace up her sleeve, one she had refused to play out of principle. Once used there could be no turning back, no returning to the path she had abandoned. Once she used "that" she would be trapped in that hideous state for the remaining of her summoning, if not the war itself. She would cast aside all reason, all hesitation, all for the sake of strength. A small foolish part of her clung to the idea that it could be reversed, but it drowned in her own bitter resentment for herself. She had to make amends. Here and now. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't.

Madness for madness.

Strength to match strength.

Darkness against his own darkness.

With a thought, a pitch black pelt materialized in her hand. Mordred recoiled at the sight of it; indeed, her very soul acknowledged it was wholly wrong. It shouldn't exist, yet it did. The hide of a tainted creature further made mad by legend, warped by rumors and myths alike until it was naught but a cloak of madness masquerading as that of a divine beast.

And Atalanta was about to drive that very "thing" through her own heart.

"If this doesn't work...if Ruler can't change me back...kill me."

"Wait a second! What are you-

Brandishing aloft for the world to see, she prepared to ram it into her chest.

 **"Agrius-**

In that moment earth ruptured at their feet and Berserker's warped body burst through, claws howling for their heads-

"Stand back, Servants of Red!"

 _Hell_ fell upon Berserker, aborting his wild charge and her own Phantasm in a single heartbeat. A storm of earthen death hardened into iron fell from the heavens and slammed into the terrible creature, stunning it. Even as it sought to rise a fresh blast drove it back; stakes erupting from the soil to stab at clawed feet, harrying it relentlessly until it finally gave ground; thousands upon thousands of sharpened spears striking as one mind, with one body, one thought, one will, beating the beast back again and again...

"Whatever tainted Noble Phantasm you possess, Archer of Red," a rough voice rose over the din, "It will not be a match for him. Stand aside."

Reluctantly, Atalanta turned to face their unlikely savior.

Battered and bloodied, he nevertheless stood tall. Though his arm had been taken from him, though his stern flesh was flayed open and scraped raw in places, still he carried himself with the regal bearing of a king. Stern golden eyes gazed right through her, dismissed her broken spirit outright and swept past her.

"Lancer of Black?!"

"Why the hell are you...

It was with a certain sense of pride that Lancer ignore them both and turned to face his foe. He'd won. Forced his foe to give in to his darkest, most primal instincts, to become the very beast he espoused. Yet it felt like a Pyrrhic victory. Truth be told, he had wanted to crush Berserker to be sure, but not like this-no, never like this-and now that clean victory was stolen from him, never to return. Besides. Saber and Archer had intervened to save one of his generals, when they clearly could've let him die.

He would honor this, at least.

"I-

"Fly, you fools!"

To her shame, Atalanta did, unable to bear the weight of her guilt.

Lancer spared her the merest glance before returning to the matter at hand. Sure enough Saber remained, watching him with keen eyes. To her credit, the blond did not interfere with his vendetta, pausing only to favor him with one last lingering look. It felt as though he were staring down a great lioness, baring her fangs.

...you kill him, I kill you." the words were a promise as much as a warning. "Don't forget that."

Lancer laughed.

"My, how bold women have grown in this age!"

Grimacing, he placed himself between the berserk blond and his prey.

"How unsightly you have become in this form, Berserker!" he declared, diverting the Beast's attention wholeheartedly to himself. "I am your opponent! Or have you forgotten me already?! Is your mind so far gone that you no longer recognize friend from foe?!"

Sneering, he baited the hook.

"Are you afraid?!"

Crimson fell upon him without warning, descending in a writhing mess of claws and tails.

 _This would be his final hour._

Vlad felt it in his bones, knew it in his heart of hearts, yet still he fought on. Even now he felt the reaper's breath upon the nape of his neck, a cold chill that threatened to steal his resolve away should he let it. Yet despite the loss of his arm-nay, perhaps in spite of if-Lancer rallied against his worthy foe as only a heroic spirit of yore could, raining storms of stakes upon his adversary, bending the very earth itself to his whims as he sought to undo this, his most ardent of foes.

Like a grand maestro conducting the finest symphony, so too did direct the earth with his fingers.

He.

Just.

Couldn't.

Reach him!

Flailing about on all fours like the animal he'd become, his once chatty-foe appeared to have abandoned his rationality altogether for the sake of power. There was no hint of the terrifying tactician he'd been before, no sign of that dark wit he'd displayed so readily in their clash. Not even a glimmer of that sly, sardonic smile. There was only the beast, a crimson hurricane that flattened all before it. No thought. No rationale. Only mindless, searing rage at the world, at him, at everything that drew breath. That suited Lancer just fine. This was his territory. His kingdom. His domain.

The very earth itself was his weapon; his sword, his spear, his shield...

A wordless yowl was the creature's sole response as it surged forward at him anew.

...and they were wholly, utterly useless in the face of Berserker's newfound transformation.

Claws the color of blood swiped at his face with sinister speed; a crimson tear scraping frightfully close to his throat before he managed to parry it. Rancid breath flooded his face and he fought down the urge to gag as he took a retaliatory swipe of his own. Realizing his peril Vlad cut upward with his lance, seeking the face of this scarlet terror, only for the creature to bend _beneath_ his weapon as though it didn't exist. No, rather its crimson body simply distorted, writhing out of the way. In that moment, that fleeting sliver of a second, Lancer had time for one thought.

 _'Oh, that is just not fair.'_

Pain blossomed in his chest as those savage digits found fresh purchase through his tattered coat, catching his flesh to hurl him across the earth like a skipping stone. His remaining arm scrabbled furiously at the ground as he flew, driving his weapon into the soil to arrest his momentum. He needn't look to know he'd sustained another grievous wound. With two arms, he might well have won this battle, or at the very least endured until help arrived, but with one, and the amount of blood he'd lost...

...he needed to end this. Soon.

Unfortunately this was easier said than done.

Once more, the faintest flicker in his peripherals served as his sole warning before hell fell upon him.

Four terrible tails burst forth from the ground at an impossible angle; nay, they emerged from the very earth beneath his feet itself in order to stab at his noble visage. From below?! How?! Confusion slowed him. _Blind, bloody luck_ saved him. In that moment Vlad's foot caught on an overturned piece of rubble and he fell back. It spared his life.

It did not save his eye.

Pain blazed across the right half of his face as one of those blazing appendages made contact and darkened half his world forevermore. In that moment, his right eye ceased to be. A human would have screamed. Even a magus would've faltered. But not Lancer. He was a Servant and he had suffered greater wounds than this...though not by much. Still the agony was nigh unbearable and for a fleeting moment, his concentration faltered thoughts shattering into a fractured web of agony. In that moment the rest of the Beast came tearing out the ground, howling for his head.

Springing forward, Vlad swung with all his might, bringing as much strength as he could bear into the lance.

By some miracle the blow connected. Indeed, it found Berserker in mid-leap, took him low in the ribs and flung him into the distance. But only just. Even then Lancer suspected he'd only landed a blow because he'd caught the creature off guard in the first place rather than any amount of fading strength on his part.

Still, he'd bought himself some breathing room.

Watching the tainted creature tumble down into the dirt brought Lancer far more satisfaction than it should have. Sanity or no, Berserker had been-and still very much was!-a thorn in his side. A sharp, jagged thorn, one that seemed to delight it tormenting him at every turn. Mad or no, it felt _damn_ _good_ to finally hit him. Propping himself up on his fractured weapon, the Impaler climbed back to his feet once more. No attack came. There was no explosion of energy, no animistic howl to greet him. Only silence.

Chest aching, muscles screaming, he turned and spat blood in the Beast's direction.

"There!" His voice echoed hollowly into the empty battlefield, "Did you like that, invader?!"

The faintest spark of red reappeared on the horizon, but this time he was more than prepared to meet it.

With a cold laugh that would've sent lesser men scrambling for the hills, Vlad stomped his foot and mustered his flagging reserves. He curled his remaining fingers into a cruel claw around his lance and lashed out, willing the earth to do his bidding as it never had before. Yes! Now was the time! He'd press the attack before that _thing_ could approach. He would annihilate him! This time, he would finish what he had started. There would be no mercy here; no quarter asked, none given. He would finish it with this, his final maneuver.

 _"Fall to me, you fool!"_

He spoke and the world answered; twisting into a jagged mess of death; one that roared forward to meet his great enemy. Darting away from the torrent of unearthly spokes, the four-tailed creature dropped down onto all fours and contorted its body at an inhuman angle, tearing at the soil beneath clawed paws. Aghast, he realized it was trying to burrow underground again, to escape his attack by virtue of remaining unseen. Well. He could not have that, could he?

A thought was all it took.

A fresh torrent forced the beast to abandon this course altogether in favor of a frenzied, desperate attack; tails lashing behind it like four great whips gouging the earth, it sprang at him, only to find its assault stalled once again by an earthen wall of towering spires.

They shattered like rotten wood as the Beast swept its arm sideways.

Those blazing white eyes found him in spite of the distance, narrowing to jagged slits. A clawed hand rose, crushing a stray stake to charred embers within that eerie crimson fist. As Lancer looked on its body heaved, back twisting madly against some unseen, eldritch force he couldn't begin understand. To his dismay it stood, bracing itself on its hind-legs to glower in his direction.

And then, incredibly, the Beast spoke to him.

 **"Lan...cer...**

A cold dread settled in Vlad's gut.

Funny how one word can inspire such dread.

Not even a sentence, and yet the sound of it unmanned him entirely. His title. Berserker had not shouted it at him, nor used his name. He'd barely even _spoken_ to him, the word little more than a whisper, scarcely heard due to the great gulf between. Yet Vlad heard it all the same. _Felt it._ He could still see the hate behind those eyes-the endless storm of pent up wrath-but sharpened now, that once mindless rage thinly leashed _if only for the moment._ Somehow, Berserker managed to focus his fury on one target. One being. One Servant.

 _Him._

Berserker-rather, the beast he'd become-wanted to flatten him. It longed to chew him up and spit him back out. It desired nothing but his complete and utter annihilation. Gods be damned, he was probably going to get it, too. With so many wounds and his vision halved he wasn't certain he could last much longer. And what of Berserker? Surely he must be draining his Master dry.

But Lancer was nothing if not stubborn.

With a wordless roar Vlad loosed a fresh wave from afar _-only a fool would try to face someone of Berserker's caliber in close combat-_ in a vain attempt to bury him before his mad charge could reach him. In that, he was only partly successful. He slowed the beast's advance, forced it to pause and shield its face with those ghastly, writhing tails. To his horror, as he looked on, a fifth bloomed to join its brethren.

That dread he felt a moment ago? Yeah, that just became mind-numbing terror.

Slowly, painfully, step by step, it weathered the barrage and came for him. With each shuddering step it drew closer, creeping forward on all fours. Odd, how the sight filled him with such fear. It should't have. Berserker was barely moving Like a twisted insect dragging itself across the ground, a serpent slithering on its belly.

 _Then it leaped._

Impossible to track, much less counter, its body blurred like liquid crimson, circumventing all attempts to be bound by his spears; leaping from those that sought to shove it away, decimating the ones that tried to skewer it, writhing around his every volley to fly at him with impossible speed; indeed, if he hadn't known better he would've sworn the creature was able to predict him somehow. Perhaps it wasn't as mad as he initially thought. Then again, could possibly make sense of a madman's mind? Said madman was going to _kill him_ if he closed the gap. The thought rankled.

Was he truly going to die here, full of bitterness and regret? Alone?

Just as he had in his last life?

 _No!_

Relinquishing his bruising grasp on his pride, he cast it aside and cried out to his allies for aid.

"Saber! Rider!" his rich voice echoed out into the battlefield. "I require assistance!"

None answered his call for aid, though he almost wish they would.

A distant explosion answered his declaration.

Vlad knew not if they had been defeated or if they were still fighting; he couldn't spare a moment to look. To take his eyes off this blackened creature meant death. It required his full attention, every fiber of his being to focus upon it, to keep up the barrage, _to keep the beast back._ No doubt Darnic would rather he retreat, and live to fight another day. Doing so now would devastate not only his pride, but his very sense of self.

Drawing himself up to his full towering height, Lancer of Black stared death in the face and refused to falter.

"Hear me, Berserker of Red!" the mighty resonance of his words briefly gave the creature pause. "If it is my life you seek, then so be it! But I will not go quietly! Have at you!"

A snap of his remaining fingers twisted the soil into twenty thousand stakes at his feet. Another ripped them free and sent them crashing down into the Beast before him in the form of countless spears. That sheer deluge momentarily brought the Berserker to a halt, forcing it to reel back and shield its face as its body shuddered beneath the assault. Knowing well its durability, he diverted a score more and sent them crashing into the foul creature's unguarded flank with the force of a falling star.

The explosion that followed could truly be called tremendous.

Earth and sky alike shook as the ground ruptured, and time when the Beast howled at him through the smoke, he could hear _pain_ behind its snarl.

No mere mindless rage was this; for a fleeting sliver of a second Vlad almost dared to hope against hope; to believe that he had finally succeeded where he had previously failed; that he had brought down this twisted beast. A spark of pride warmed the bleak despairing tundra that had nearly taken his heart. He'd wounded it, harmed it at the very least. Perhaps he could kill it after all. Perhaps-

It was not to be.

Much to his chagrin even these stakes proved a mere irritant to the beast, unable to pierce its thick hide. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, it raised its gaze to glower at him. Once more the ghastly white orbs that served as its eyes narrowed, perhaps in recognition, perhaps in anger. He knew not, only that he'd failed once again.

Something snapped.

"Why won't you die?!" the words tore out of Vlad in an exasperated snarl. "Are you immortal?!"

This time, there could be no mistaking the laughter.

 **...no."**

Events spiraled rapidly after that.

Five tails sheathed in bits of mismatching bone snapped back toward Berserker's now-crimson head, trembling with intensity. Its jaw came unhinged, and again that hideous creature shifted in a way that just felt _wrong_ in the worst of ways _-ohgodhowcoulditmovelikethat-_ its flesh contorting in ghastly relief to expel...orbs? To his horror, a series of sinister, strange sapphire/scarlet spheres jettisoned themselves from the young man's warped body. As he looked on they merged, uniting as one. The survivor remained a moment more, hovering there before that dislocated maw. Wait.

Why was it shrinking?

Why was he devouring it?

Why did his body swell thus?

Vlad's sixth sense shrieked a warning-in his mind, Darnic was howling at him-telling his body to move, to dodge, to get the hell out of the way...yet he could only stand, transfixed as his doom approached. He saw a surge of steam gather behind those bulging jaws and in one final, horrified epiphany, knew he couldn't outrun what was to come. So he flung up a wall between him and the beast. And another. Another. Another still. Six sheer, towering earthen shields forged of bloodied stakes and hardened earth composed of twenty thousand stakes

It was not enough.

No. Not nearly enough.

Nowhere near, not _ever_ enough.

 _Berserker opened its maw and screamed its fury to the world._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

 _"_ _Ho?_ _So that's it, then?"_

Words like poison trickled through Semiramis's ears as she watched the horror unfold in the mural before her. They were not her own. No, those words belonged to her Master. There was a strange, almost childlike joy to be heard in those words, a near-euphoric glee that had nothing to do with the battle and yet _everything_ to do with those fighting it.

Bright eyes gleamed.

Reclining upon a pew, Shirou Kotomine regarded the scene before him with morbid fascination.

"That really is a terrifying Noble Phantasm." he mused aloud, thumbing his chin in quiet curiosity. "He called it Nine-Tails, correct? To think, he's only up to five. I wonder what will happen if he reaches the maximum...or will his Master perish before that?"

Semiramis frowned.

No, those words _certainly_ did not belong to her.

Assassin though she may well be, _her_ mouth was sown shut by the ghastly spectacle unfolding in front of her eyes. This ghastly scene still playing out through the twisted miracle of magecraft that was her nearly-completed Hanging Gardens, every moment witnessed despite the distance. She saw it. She saw it all. Not six tails but five, yet somehow this was worse than what she herself had witnessed firsthand. There was no sanity here. Rather than dip a toe into darkness, Berserker had plunged headlong into, consequences be damned.

This was terror, this was death and just looking at it was hell because it should not exist, yet it _did_ exist and _because_ it did exist _anditwasgoingtodrivehermad..._

"Oh, dear." Her Master's soft mellifluous voice cut through the gibbering madness. "I believe he just killed Lancer."

Shrinking back slightly, the blackette regarded her master with cold cynicism.

Shirou could not be called cruel. No. He had long-since suppressed that side of himself-alongside a good deal of his emotions-so utterly as to say they no longer existed. Yet she would be lying if she said she didn't see a glimmer of cold satisfaction in her Master's eyes. For whatever reason, Berserker's fall pleased him.

It _displeased_ Semiramis more than she cared to admit.

He had been hers to kill. HERS! She wanted to break him! To make him grovel before her! To make him hers! _Hers!_ No one elses! To see him reduced to such a state, of his own volition no less...it galled her more than words. This was truly a Berserker. This man knew not the concept of restraint; rather, he had, but it had been taken from him, plucked as surely as the fruit of his sanity from a withered vine. Whether he would recover from this was anyone's guess, least of all her own. But try as she might she couldn't deny it; for in the darkest part of her being...

...she could not bear to see him like this.

"Master," she began slowly, choosing her words with great care, "We should do something. My gardens are nearly complete-

Shirou shook his head in swift denial.

 _"No._ I want to watch this."

"No?" The queen of Assyria absolutely _bristled_ in disbelief at this sudden turn of behavior. "You can't be serious, Master! He's out of control! Do you think He'll stop with Lancer? No! Even a fool could see he's gone mad! If this continues we'll not only lose Berserker, but our Saber and Archer as well, if not more! We must stop him! Are you really willing to risk-

To her dismay, her Master raised a hand. "Perhaps you didn't hear me, Semiramis...

A Command Spell pulsed threateningly upon the back of said hand.

Settling in, Shirou laid a hand against his chin.

 _...I said I want to watch."_

In that moment, something crystallized in Assassin's heart. She did not give voice to it, for that would be treason, but she did acknowledge it. At her core she was a selfish person. So she buried it deep, allowing it to take root, to grow and fester in her heart, the very seat of her soul. A small thought. An inkling of doubt to poison her thoughts. The tiniest whisper of rebellion. And she showed not an iota of it to her Master.

...very well." she relented with a faux-smile. "I shall attend to other matters, then."

Though Shirou knew not, there would be a reckoning for this.

It is said that mankind holds a certain saying:

 _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

 _All the world became light._

The Bijudama, though improperly formed in Berserker's haste to attack, put the last to shame; the air ignited in a coruscating beam of red ruin burst from that tainted maw and annihilated all before it, a blast unlike any other. Earth. Heaven. Servant. None were spared. Before it Lancer's stakes fell like wheat from chaff. There was no hope of enduring this, no possible chance of overwhelming the primordial energies that burst forth from his body. It annihilated all defenses outright. Shattered his walls. Indeed, how could it not? No manner of fame nor infamy could endure this attack head on. It was, in a word, death.

One that snatched Lancer up and swallowed him whole.

Blinding pain blazed thought to ash.

Distantly he was aware that he was still burning, falling, crashing into the ground as though he'd been cast out from the very heavens themselves. Was this death, then? _No-_ the pain, the agony of his scorched flesh, that told otherwise. Hmm. Still alive. That was unexpected. Almost unwanted, really. After fighting for so long, he'd almost begun to desire an end. But that was coming soon, wasn't it? His lone eye swiveled, regarding the ruined tear that was his left leg, ending just below the knee. The Beast seemed determined to tear him apart piece by piece; first his arm, then his eye, now his leg.

A low, exasperated sigh trickled out of his scorched throat.

 _"Really?"_

With a thought he affixed a stake to the severed stump and marched on. A certain pirate might have found this amusing. Lancer couldn't care less. He could already see the Beast coming for him, feel its rage roaring down on him through the black smoke. And despite the fear, despite the pain, despite all that he'd said and done...he smiled.

This would be a good death.

"Come, then!" he croaked, gasping for breath. "If this is death, then I welcome it!"

Steaming, his coat in tattered, body scorched and barely functional, Vlad somehow found his feet and readied his lance.

The Beast answered his challenge with a heartrending growl and surged forward to meet him on all fours. This time, Lancer stood his ground. He had no choice. Retreat was no longer a viable option in this war; should he attempt to fall back he would be overwhelmed in an instant. This creature eclipsed him in speed, if not strength. He must trust in the strength of his weapon-his will!-and pray that they were enough.

 _Man and monster collided._

Though Lancer knew his rival might well be a mindless beast, it was a _clever_ beast all the same; years of instinct ingrained into its body lent it savage skill no man should possess. That hideous form bent at impossible angles to evade his attacks, sprouted extra limbs-sometimes even an extra torso entirely!-to beat him back whenever he came close to scoring a meaningful blow, and at times seemed capable of completely predicting his moves altogether before he made them.

When he tried to leap away, he abruptly to find that abomination _right in his face,_ slavering jaws snapping shut mere meters from his nose. No warrior was this!

Though his arm buckled and his strength failed him, still he grappled with the creature, fighting to keep that tearing maw away from his face. At such proximity merely standing in the Beast's presence sapped what little of his strength remained; its very existence threatened to corrode him outright; to sear away his skin 'till naught but ashes remained.

 _This was death._

Yet the battle was not yet lost.

He could use "that" and perhaps emerge victorious.

He knew what would happen if he were to utilize his true Noble Phantasm. Using it now might even turn the tide in his favor. Done under his own volition, his mind would still be his own, and he could use that to pick apart this slobbering beast. Yes, the Legend of Dracula would grant him power as he'd never known, power to prevail...at the cost of his dignity. His very soul. In another timeline Darnic would've commanded him to do just that. Vlad would've killed him for it in turn, only to find himself bound to his Master by a dying wish. They would've died together, body and soul.

Yes, he should just give in-

Golden eyes bulged.

 _'NEVER!'_

With a supreme effort of will Lancer bucked, slammed his back against the ground, and drove his feet-stake and otherwise-into Berserker's chest.

The result was nothing short of spectacular.

Unprepared for the sudden surge of strength, Berserker shot backwards with a startled yowl, propelled away at terrible speeds. A nearby hillock shattered as he crashed through it, tumbling headlong across the upturned earth. A brief reprieve, a much-needed moment to catch his breath. Even wounded Vlad was still a force to be reckoned with; in spite of his wounds, though he stood on his last leg, he was every bit a Heroic Spirit. He may well die, but not without a fight. Gasping, gritting his teeth, he dared to look up and muster his forces.

He soon wished he hadn't.

Winding a circuitous route across the battlefield Berserker bounded over a fresh volley of stakes, hurdled a second, shattered a third. By the time Vlad realized his peril he was less than a meter away; in the time it took for him to formulate a plan the beast had already crossed the narrow distance between them. A single leap closed the gap and this time, there was no escape.

Scalding hands closed around his throat and bore him down, driving his body to the earth. His lance flew from his grasp, sent skittering across the earth and out of reach.

A fist reared up and almost immediately swung down into his gut; muscles swelled, bursting through that tainted crimson shroud.

Vlad had time for one final thought as he beheld those clenched knuckles, streaking now towards his face.

 _'Oh.'_

Crunch.

Then a vile volley of vicious vermilion viscerated his visage, one after another. They crashed down upon him like an endless stampede that targeted _everything,_ a relentless barrage of scalding punches that did not cease, did not relent, _did not stop,_ no matter how much he wished they would. No more tricks. No blasts of energy to shake the world. Reduced to naught but their fists and their hatred for one another, the two Servants duked it out. Well. Berserker did. Lancer found it was all he could do merely to protect his face with his remaining arm. Even now he could feel himself faltering, failing to ward off the blows...

And then, quite suddenly, he died.

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _"My, what a marvelous tragedy!"_

Shakespeare bellowed out a harsh laugh as he beheld the sordid scene before him; watching the Beast that Berserker had come rage about like the mindless creature many thought it to be. Bah! He, Caster, knew better! Any one with half a brain could see the will-the instinct!-behind those blows, that indomitable drive relentlessly pushing him further and further down the path to madness.

It was almost poetic, in a twisted way.

All the while this self-proclaimed storyteller furiously scratched out entry after entry into the empty tome clutched in his hand. His fingers moved as one, little more than a tangled blur of motion as he gave form to both his thoughts and fits of whimsy even more so. Glorious! Absolutely glorious! He'd been right to follow these three to the battlefield! But not to fight, oh no! His talents were not suited for the art of war, rather, his skills lay in a far more subtle field. He could not control this battle, nor could he force the combatants to do his bidding.

But he could give things a little...nudge.

After all! His duty was to record every lasting moment, and thus, document this tragedy-nay! Cement it!

Secure in a towering tree just beyond the edge of the battle, his keen eyes were able to discern every movement, every action, every drop of blood.

True to his nature Caster of Red documented it flawlessly of course...while adding his own unique "flair" to the tale he was creating. What?! Even the greatest authors embellished a little!

"The hero turns upon the maiden and attacks his friends! Yes, yes! YES! Glorious!" he crowed, eyes shining with dark mirth as his quill danced erratically upon the parchment. "A man who became a beast! A fool who threw his humanity aside! There were those who accidentally attained power and glory, but then destroyed everything! This! Truly there can be no greater tragedy!"

Indeed, he couldn't have written it any better himself!

At this rate Berserker would not only slaughter Lancer, but eventually turn his attention toward the other Servants on the field. Perhaps he'd even go on to assault the fortress of Yggdmillennia? Would others unite against him? Would he turn the war inside out, or, as the youngsters said these days, would the turns be tabled? He believed that was the phrase. Wasn't it? Yes, probably. Should Berserker manage to claw his way back from the brink, that would ruin this tragedy. But surely he would not. He was too far gone, utterly and wholly beyond help...wasn't he?

Bah.

Thus it came as quite a shock to Shakespeare, _yes quite a shock indeed,_ when a spear set itself against his throat from behind. The attack caught him with such speed that he found himself utterly helpless before it-even if he possessed the skills to deflect it they would have made no difference-able to do naught but fling up his arms and surrender.

He recognized the silver weapon at his throat all too well.

"Ack!" he croaked! "Mercy, m'lord! Surely you can see I'm harmless?!"

"Harmless?" a light laugh danced in his ears. "Hardly. You're the furthest thing from it. Maybe I should just kill you now."

"Nay, I beg of thee!" A bead of cold sweat ran down the writer's brow as that wicked edge tightened upon his adam's apple. "To kill me here, so near the climax of this battle...that would be unforgivable! How cruel! Yes, how cruel of you, Achilles! How could you do such a thing?!"

Rider of Red gazed back at him with that serene, insufferable smile that Caster so loathed.

"If he turns on everyone, you're going to help me set this right." he declared.

"Nonsense! To think that I would spoil such a story is the very height of-

The spear drew a thin line of red across Shakespear's throat.

 _"O-Of course I may have misspoken..._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

Yes, Lancer died.

The punch that followed surpassed all others, crashing through his guard to bury itself in his stomach and blow a how through him, then the ground beneath. A strike so savage that it shattered the bedrock beneath for six meters down and kept right going. It was a mortal blow, one that would claim his life eventually, no matter the outcome of this battle. By all means fatal. There would be no coming back from this, no Command Spell that would save his life now, only prolong the inevitable.

Vlad couldn't help himself, it was so utterly unexpected that he laughed.

Unsatisfied with his continued existence _-however brief said existence might be-_ the Beast growled at him and arched its arm back for the killing stroke.

In his final moments Vlad felt Darnic issue one final furious command; a desperate ploy reinforced by two Command Spells in a frantic attempt to stave off his inevitable demise. _Use it. Use the Legend of Dracula! Do it! Do it now!_ With the last of his willpower Vlad warded his command off, even as his body fought to respond in vain. With every fiber of his being, his pride, his very existence, he denied it. He denied him! He was not Dracula! He was Vlad the third, ruler of this country! He would die here with regret in his heart, and sorrow in his soul perhaps, but he would yet die satisfied. _Fighting!_

The fist swung back anew.

Vlad's final thought was one of pride.

He would perish as a man, not a monster.

 _'What a shame.'_ Inwardly, however, he fell prey to one final, almost nostalgic regret. _'Yes, its such a pity, really. How I wish we could have fought together under the same banner! If not in this life, then the last. Perhaps the next, then. The world would've trembled before us! Farewell, my foe-nay! My rival!'_

"Finish me now, Berserker of Red!" outwardly, he roared at the as his body began to warp and contort. Beast. "I wish to die as I lived! AS A MAN!"

Those horrible claws were all too glad to grant his last drying wish; they barreled down without mercy and slammed into his chest. He felt those cold, cruel, clawed fingers wrap around his heart and pull, ripping the organ fro his chest in a cruel bloody spray. In that instant,t he incessant buzz of Darnic's command spells vanished in a red haze and the Lord Impaler found himself free from...everything.

"Ah...wonderful." he gasped, choking on his own blood. "Well done. Well done indeed. You have my thanks...oh...mighty rival."

A small shuddering sigh fled from Vlad's lips, his remaining eye narrowing in something akin to relief as he arched his neck back. Death should have been nearly instantaneous yet still he clung on. Though his body began to collapse immediately, though his flesh failed him, he still held a few precious moments to exist before the Grail claimed him. Darnic's shouts had been reduced to mere whispers in his mind, damning him for a fool, but he cared not. This had never been about him. While he might have failed to find his wish, he at least, died in the manner he wished. Fighting as a man.

 _However...!_

Snapping upright, Vlad seized the Beast by the arm in an iron vice before it could strike again. His fingers immediately began to peel on contact, his scorced flesh screaming even as he faded, yet still he held fast to this cruel creature. He was not content with this. He could not die silently; not when the one before him tread the same path as he. More than that, here was someone who had sacrificed his very sense of self, and might not see it returned.

Should he let this stand...it would stain his honor more than he could bear.

He knew his death would jump-start the war; of course Darnic would be angry and seek revenge. Moreover, his passing would prod the rest of his faction into action. How ironic; though he knew that his was but the first of many such deaths come and cared not a wit for it; but perhaps, perhaps he could yet help this young man. A rival he might well be, but in some twisted way Lancer _respected_ him. He, despite his legend being blotted by rumor and half-truths, willingly turned into a monster just to wrest victory from the jaws of defeat. He accepted that burden, the stigma it bore, and moved onward, as befitting of a ruler.

Vlad empathized with that.

He was, after all, the ruler of this land.

And was it not the King's duty to help his subjects?

Though his lower torso crumbled into dust, though the seething kitsune struggled in his grasp, though he had naught but words left to give, Lancer fulfilled his duty to the last.

"Master that rage of yours, oh wrathful Berserker." he intoned solemnly as the decay crept across his torn chest. "Do not let it control you. Define you. Do not let it twist your being and haunt your every thought, as it did mine. Endure it! Move beyond it! Surpass it! And once you do, may we meet again! Not as enemies, but brothers in arms!"

Having said his peace, he released his hold upon Berserker and toppled back to the ground, utterly spent.

The Beast did not reply. In truth, Lancer did not expect it to.

Instead it cocked its head, considering him. Was that a crack in the crimson shroud just now? A faint fracture in the bloody mist coating its skin? Or had he imagined it? As he looked on the Beast raised its fist, clutching its prize in hand. He could still see it, frantically pumping, to no avail. Raising it toward its gaping maw the creature gazed upon it for a time...and dropped it down its gullet, swallowing it in a single bite.

Ah.

His heart.

Lancer understood now.

After their pitched battle, Berserker must've been running on fumes. His Master was likely in dire straits as well. Thus he sought to sustain itself through whatever means necessary. He should've been appalled. Far from it. From a brutal point of view, he understood why it acted as it did, as a harbinger of death reasoning. Very well. Let it take what little mana remained in him. Perhaps some small part of him would live on through this. Yes, he rather liked the sound of that.

Grey crept in at the edge of his vision, permitting him time for one final laugh.

"Farewell, my foe."

Having said his peace, and with one final wordless laugh, Lancer departed the Holy Grail War.

It was into this hell that Atalanta returned.

Swallowing her fear, she dared to approach. What little remained of Lancer's corpse was already dissolving; wafting away into harmless spiritons to cloud the night air. Then even those were gone. Naruto had won. By all means, this victory undoubtedly belonged to him. Surely he had soothed his rage by now. And yet a thorn of anxiety pricked her heart, holding her back. Why hesitate? This was Berserker, of course. He'd never harm her willingly. He'd made that abundantly clear. He had just...lost himself for a moment. Yes. That was it. After all he'd said and done, it would be madness to turn on her now...

...wouldn't it?

Too late, her hackles rose, instinct shrieking a warning.

Slowly, shuddering, Berserker turned toward her.

A low hiss fled from those twisted jaws.

No. Not Berserker, she realized.

Incredibly, it spoke.

 **"R...u...n...**

 _Paused._

 ** _"I...will...NOT...!"_**

To her dismay-and relief-the tailed beast doubled over, clutching at his face. Clawing at that terrible visage. A low, infuriated shout ripped between the two of them, a keening sound of such rage and sorrow that Atalanta felt her heart break just from hearing it. Yet she dare not approach. Not here, not now. Fear grappled with pity, tearing themselves to pieces as they fought for control of her body.

"CEASE!"

A command like a thunderclap rang through her ears, bringing the world to a halt.

All eyes turned towards its source, and it was in that moment that the clouds overhead finally broke; unable to contain their swollen fury any longer, they loosed the rain in a vicious downpour that drenched anyone-or in this case everyone-unlucky to find themselves within Trifas at that moment. Too much heat and moisture had been forced upon them by the clashes of Noble Phantasms and Servants alike for the world to remain silent; perhaps the rain was the planet's way of inflicting its own displeasure upon those who violated her cradle.

This did not make the newcomer any less intimidating.

"Ruler...?"

Seemingly wreathed in holy light-or was that her imganination?-the maiden of Orleans advanced, her flag hanging loosely unfurled at her side. Its noble banner fluttered silently in an unseen breeze, unfazed by the chaos of the storm around her; a bastion of sense and sanity, much like its owner. Those placid amethyst eyes were stern and focused, yet soft and warm. If there was fear found in her gaze she did not give voice to it, if there was hesitation held in her heart, she didn't speak it. Instead she marched ever-forward, firm and resolute in her resolve.

"Oi, stay back!" Mordred snapped. "Hes' gone nuts! He'll try to kill you!"

Ruler paid her no heed, nay, her step did not falter in the least.

"That's enough, Berserker." she soothed. "Don't you think?"

The Beast growled back at her.

 **"K...i...l...l...**

 _"I think not."_

An armored arm rose, bringing with it a pulse of familiar crimson light. Her command spells flashed, inflicting her will-her very sense of self-upon the struggling Servant. In that moment Ruler expended a portion of the gift that made her so terribly dangerous; indeed, the very reason for her class. The reason she was both feared and respected not only by the Masters of the Holy Grail War, but the Servants themselves. She represented the insurmountable barrier that were the rules themselves, and the actions that would be taken against them should they seek to circumvent them.

Before Ruler and the seals she wielded, any Servant was powerless.

"By the Power of my Command Spell I order you, Berserker of Red!" her voice cracked like a whip across the field. "Revert to your true self and cease this madness at once!"

Incredibly, the scarlet shroud cracked.

The words of the holy maiden tipped the balance.

Fine fractures etched themselves into the seething maelstrom.

Berserker's Noble Phantasm didn't so much burst as it did crumble; shards of stained crimson tumbled off his body to reveal the scorched flesh of the man beneath. White eyes faded fitfully, first into savage scarlet then baleful blue. Slowly, painfully, Berserker-Naruto, she reminded herself-straightened, rising to stand on two legs once more. There was a strange, blank look to his eyes, one that seemed distant...almost inhuman by mere comparison, as though he'd just woken from an incredibly long dream.

Ruler offered a small smile in recompense for the young man's insolent silence.

"Welcome back." she hummed. "I was concerned...for a time."

Naruto blinked slowly into rain.

"Where...? Ack?! Cold!"

Shaking himself like a wet dog, the whiskered warrior surveyed the battlefield and all he'd wrought. The stunned Servants, the shattered earth, the torn sky. He did not laugh as Atalanta had expected him to; there was no burst of dulcet laughter, no witty remark to defuse the situation. He looked as confused as they all-save Ruler-must have felt. Had his Madness Enhancement stripped all memories of the fight from him? Or was he perhaps playing dumb, acting the fool for the sake of levity? Regardless, she soon had her answer.

Wet and sputtering, Uzumaki Naruto cast his gaze about in the rain, struggling to make sense of where he was and what he'd done.

"Soooo," he began with a nervous drawl, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, "What did I miss?"

"Ha!" Mordred laughed aloud. "Just about everything, zombie! Took you long enough!"

 _That_ snapped him right back to his normal self. "You wanna go, hothead?!"

"BRING IT~!"

Atalanta groaned to herself as much as them.

 _"Idiot, idiot, idiot! I'm such an idiot!"_

She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry, she wanted to _die._ Now more than ever as the baffled blond inclined his head towards her. Atalanta couldn't help it; she found herself flinching away from the confusion in his gaze, knowing she was to blame for this, knowing she had caused the near catastrophe, knowing he must be utterly furious with her. How could he not be? Her rigid dogma had drive him into a corner; were it not for Ruler and his own, sheer will, he would never have escaped the proverbial pit into which he'd flung himself. Yes, he must hate her for this. Doubtlessly he would wish to sever ties with her at the least, if not kill her for this.

Bitter self-loathing welled up in her the longer she looked at him, the more certain she became.

At any moment he would strike her, rebuke her, condemn her for all that she had done.

As such, she wasn't at all prepared when he decided to seize her right hand.

She sputtered madly. "I...you...what are you doing, Berserker?!"

In the end, he had one only one response to offer her:

"None of that! You and I are going to have a talk!"

 _It would prove a long one indeed._

 **A/N: LANCER DIED!**

 **YOU AREN'T HUMAN~!**

 **I regret absolutely nothiiing!**

 **Gods these chapters take a lot out of me.** **But they have to be long, because I REFUSE to write something sub-par these days. This is Fate we're talking about. All or nothing, you know? It has to be done right, or not at all.**

 **Lancer of Black has fallen.**

 **Moreover he went out as a man, not a monster, and thus found some manner of redemption in his death.** **But given that he was "consumed" in a sense, a small part of him might yet live on as a voice in Naruto's head. Who knows? I'm squirrelly like that. Only time will tell.**

 **It also serves to illustrate why Naruto does NOT like using his Noble Phantasm; without proper time or preparation, he risks harming those he cares about. Madness isn't something you can just dive into and emerge unscathed, hell, I would now...**

 ***ahem***

 **Once again for the sake of clarity I'll explain the state of things as far as the relationships go.**

 **When I say that, I mean what Naruto thinks of the _girls_ and then _their_ feelings:**

 **The Holy Grail= Anomaly/Oh, that's cute.**

 **Jack= Daughter/Father.**

 **Jean= Master/Servant.**

 **Jeanne= Ally/Enigma.**

 **Mordred= Partner/Potential Love Interest.**

 **Atalanta= Friend/Someone Who Must Not Be Killed.**

 **Semiramis= Pity/ Mild Concern.**

 **Frankenstein= Sibling/#% &^?**

 **Astolfo= Are You Kidding me?!/WHO THE HELL IS HE?!**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **They're all coming sooner or later...its mere a matter of if or when.**

 **Here's a handful** **this time around. Hope you enjoy them, because I'm beat~!**

 **They're all fun little bits and pieces, and we get to see Grail's new faction next chapter~!**

 **As ever, your kind, thoughtful reviews really spur me to keep on writing, I can't thank you all enough for them!**

 **SURPRISE!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _"So you're all going to gang up on me together, is that it? Seven against one? Fine. If you greenhorns think you can win...then come. What's wrong? Come on! Why are you waiting?! I'm right here! C'mon! Look at me! I'm wounded! **COME! ON!"**_

* * *

 _...you want to join us."_ _Naruto actually deadpanned._

 _"Indeed!" Shakespeare crowed. "Please, pay me no mind and go about your business! I merely wish to observe! Feel free to mingle with those commoners as you wish!"_

 _His companion twitched._

 _...I shall do no such thing."_

 _"Bah! C'mon, dance with me!"_

 _"Wha-no! Stop it Berserker! I don't want to!"_

 _"Oh come on! It look fun! You said so earlier! Just for a bit!_

 _"No, it will be AWFUL! You can't make! Absolutely nooooooo-EEK?!"_

 _For all her protests the blond still swept her away into the throng of people._

 _Content with his role in the part to play, Caster set fresh ink to his quill and began to write._

 _It would prove to be a long night._

* * *

 _As she looked on, he thumbed his nose._

 _"I'm not one for serving others...but you'd make a good King."_

 _Mordred's face turned the shade of a thousand burning supernova in all their glory. "W-What the hell?!"_

* * *

 _"Blue faction? Has a nice ring to it."_

* * *

 _"You have to die? Who said that?_ _The dead can't live again? And who decided that? You can't have a second chance? WHO DECIDED THAT?!"_

 _"I decide such things!" the words tore out of him on a roar. "Not_ _The gods! Damn your gods! I **spit** on the lot of them!"_

 _Snarling, he turned and spread his arms wide, thrusting his open arms towards the stormy skies._

 _"If they truly deem this "evil" then may they strike me down where I stand!"_

 _To her dismay, heaven did just that._

* * *

 **"Uuuuuuuuuh?"**

 _Caules palmed his face._

 _"Fran, no. You're not keeping them."_

 _Berserker grit her teeth and stomped a foot._

 **"Uh."**

 _"Don't you DARE-_

 ** _"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!"_**

* * *

 _"You're not acting like yourself."_

 _A faux, sweet smile plucked at her lips._

 _"Well I wonder whose fault that is! YOU did this to me. Take responsibility."_

* * *

 _"Naruto."_

 _"Yeeeeees~?_

 _"Never betray me."_

 _"Now why would I do that? I'm fond of living." shrugging, he turned to leave. "See you later-_

 _A hand caught his sleeve at the last, tan fingers tentatively tugging him back to her._

 _Then she pulled, harder, spinning him about._

 _"Eh?" Blue eyes bulged. "Huh? Oi. Wait, what are you..._

 _Strong hands clamped down on either side of his face, holding him fast as she gazed at him. Indeed, those piercing eyes never left his. Yet they continued to peer into depths, almost as if their owner were trying to find something there behind it all. Whatever she was looking for, she must've found it, because that hooded gaze narrowed._

 _Then she rammed her lips against his._

 **R &R~!**


	9. Blue on Black (Interlude)

**A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE DAY! WHOO!** **(EDIT! Added some important scenes at the end!)**

 **Yohohoho a man lives and a man survives!**

 **A man rides again! A man comes to updaaaate!**

 **Sorry for the delay, I had to buy a new computer~!**

 **...really, Game of Thrones? Really? You're going to do us dirty like that? You're gonna jump the shark like that? Fine. Whatever. Its done, its over and I can get back to my Fate stuff. I** **t just feels like the show lost its touch there at the end...music was on point though.**

 **Folks have been saying I'm not going to continue this story.**

 **What say you now?!**

 **These chapters are simply massive and take longer to write than others. Its only been a few months and these things take TIME.** **Detractors aside, here it is at last, the next long awaited chapter for all you dear readers.**

 **WARNING:**

 **This chapter is told from multiple viewpoints. I'm sorry if that upsets anyone. It just felt...right for this chapter; to shine some insight into the lives of the other Servants and their motivations, their feelings, their everything really. It makes them feel more human, you know?** **Feels good to get back to my favorite works now that I'm finally free from the MADNESS that is Sekiro! Finally beat the bloody thing! Now after that massive update to A Most Unlikely Rider, I can finally get back to my pride and joy! Mordred gets a loooooooot of screentime here.**

 **YOYOI!** **I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!** **(EDIT: I forgot to include Mordred's battle damage and Siegfried's fate in the last chapter. Fixed!)**

 **Aaaaaaaaaand we've got a new troll harassing/flinging death threats at me. His name is** _D00mMarine4Ever **.**_ **Would you Kindly report this jerk?** **Don't believe me? He just spammed most of my recently updated stories. See for yourself. I honestly don't know why he keeps spamming my stories with death threats and the like...**

 **T_T**

 **Once again, that blasted obligatory disclaimer: I own nothing, yadda yadda yadda...**

 **So lets clarify and answer all of your questions, eh?**

 **Q: Man, you're regulating a badass like Sisigou to the sidelines! He literally becomes a father figure to Mordred in the anime, but you've shown none of that! Stoppitstoppitstoppit! I want papa Kairi back already! Let him fight!**

 **A: Sideline him? Never! He has his part to play and it starts now...**

 **...he also shows his more humorous side during this chapter.**

 **Not to mention strategy and-oops! Said too much!**

 **Q: AHA! I finally figured out what you're after, you sly dog! He's dancing with HER with in the preview, isn't he?!**

 **A: *Whistles Innocently* I admit nothing!**

 **Q: What's the limit of Naruto's Noble Phantasm? How much does it hurt him? Considering what happened to him in life whenever he used the tainted version, I can see why you're leaning that way in Servant form.**

 **A: This chapter explains it quite nicely. It drains him severely and his Master as well. Considering how long and hard he fought against Vlad...**

 **Q: Sooo...let me get this straight. Mordred. Threw. Siegfried. We talking an-over-the-shoulder judo throw into the distance here? Because I can totally see her doing that. Seems like what she would do against someone she couldn't beat.**

 **A: Ayup~!**

 **Plainly put, Mordred is a bad match against Siegfried. Not only does she have dragon blood-meaning his blade is deadly to her-but I'm fairly certain he's stronger than her to boot. Unlike Sieg, he's faster, stronger, and far more durable. Remember, without a Command Spell to reinforce her blows, she couldn't even hurt a transformed SIEG to begin with. How long would she last again the real deal? Sure, she can bat him around, push him back even, yet unless she goes for his back-something she refuses to do-she can't get a killing blow on him without help.**

 **But she can sure as hell launch him if she wants to.**

 **Now that 'ol Siegy's found his resolve...their next battle might not go so well for our favorite tomboy.**

 **Q: Don't do Karna dirty! Not Siegfried either!**

 **A: Couldn't if I tried. Really, he's a VERY powerful Servant; if he had a different Master this war would be over already. Only a handful of Servants could beat him...same applies for Siegfried. They are both LUDICROUSLY tough and hard to take down.**

 **Don't even get me** _started_ **about Achilles.**

 **Q: What can we expect from the new faction?**

 **A: Loads of heavy hitters.**

 **Q: Are you giving Naruto his strength back?**

 **A: Command Spells are tricky things. Jeanne doesn't realize what she's just unleashed. I won't say any more for the sake of spoilers, but lets just say that she's helped Naruto more than she realizes and ohhhhh boy its going to be fun. He's still mad as a hatter, though. That's not something a Command Spell can wipe away. As long as Naruto remains in the Berserker class he lacks inhibitions in the traditional sense...much to the bemusement of others around him.**

 **Q: Jackie and Jean better be alright!**

 **A: They will be, worry not.**

 **Q: Playing the long game with the girls, I see.**

 **A: Naruto isn't playing any "game" here at all; he's said it himself, he has almost zero control over his inhibitions. For example! Let's say someone...I dunno...like Darnic appears before him and mocks him. He's not going to try and make a plan. He is going to SLUG that son of a bitch. Granted, he may be more inclined toward some of them such as Mordred and Atalanta and Semiramis, but this is simply his nature at this point.**

 **...it gets all sorts of sappy, silly and sweet in this chapter.**

 **Q: Is Sieg not gonna show up here?  
**

 **A: Sieg still exists, if not as a person in this story, then as a concept and a theory. Recall that the homonculus only took on this name because SIEGFRIED died for him. That won't be happening in this story. The Grail itself has taken an interest in a certain nameless homunculus and it isn't him. I could wax poetic about it and all, but I think I'll just let the quote do the talking for me here. Furthermore, the Grail itself is learning and taking cues from its surroundings. With each chapter it learns to "think" more as its terminal learns of the world.**

 **Now that we've gotten that out of the way...here we go. An interlude of sorts, because I'm horridly sick.**

 **Whereas the last was dark, this one is full of light.**

 **Obvious title reference is obvious~!**

 **Get ready to smile!**

 _"Would you like a name, little one?"_

 _...I don't understand. What is a name?"_

 _"Ohhh, your poor thing. I know! How about..._

 _~the Grail and its terminal._

 **Blue on Black (Interlude)**

 _Frankenstein frowned._

Mismatching eyes confirmed the strange sight before her and yet this Berserker of Black blinked again as her mind struggled to make sense of what she was looking at. Innocent, innocuous red orbs blinked up at her in quiet fear and trepidation from where their owner lay on the bed, her wee body trembling like a stray leaf caught in the wind. Fran knew fear well, but this wasn't fear of her, but fear for her very life. This was no enemy here, but a tiny little life, a small candle that might be blown out in a strong wind.

Poor thing.

She looked so scared.

Fran supposed had good reason to be, considering the consequences.

Wrapped in a borrow white dress-likely belong to Fiorre-several sizes too large for her tiny frame, she wore the garment like a tent, furtively tucking her knees into her chest as though to hide herself in it. This wee, tiny girl before her. Hair long and white as snow-how off-eyes red as blood and a body not unlike that of a child. So frail. Even if she survived this, she'd only live three years at most. Chiron had been adamant about that just before he'd left.

Were it not for her companion, she might've been tempted to hug the poor girl.

By contrast this woman radiated a regal presence; not one of arrogance. They'd given her a red, sleeved-dress to wear, but she scarcely seemed to notice it. Taller than the other one and more generously endowed, she nevertheless seemed...empty somehow. As though she were nothing more than some blank slate, a mere template for something greater. Only the occasional glimpse of true intelligence behind those eyes hinted at something more.

She caught her staring and offered a small smile.

"We thank you for your assistance in this matter, Berserker of Black, Archer of Black, Rider of Black." she recited their titles as if on a rota, speaking them, yet not _saying_ them all the same. "You will be spared when the time comes."

Spared?

The hell did that mean?

Still this boded poorly for them.

Two rogue homunculi, each displaying frightful signs of true sentience. If they were found out Avicebron would probably try to dissect both of them on the spot. Or worse, throw them in that mess of mud he called a Golem. Foul, foul Caster. Cruel. Heart of stone. She wanted to crush his head but Caules wouldn't let her.

In that moment, she realized they'd been had.

She couldn't possibly turn these two in. She wouldn't let her Master do it, either.

They were innocents in this and Fran had STRONG feelings regarding innocents in any legend.

Surely Astolfo must've known this when he-or was it she? Fran could never tell-lured them into this room. She knew the ever-honorable Chiron-if not his Master-could be trusted, but now she'd been roped into this against her will. She was happy to help, but didn't like being used. It made her...

...cross.

A low growl started in her throat.

"What~?!" the Rider flailed spectacularly as the redhead turned her glower upon them. "What're looking at me for?!"

 _'You know what I'm looking at!'_ she raged telepathically. _'You led us here! What am I supposed to do now, huh?! This is all your fault!'_

Much to her chagrin the little homonculus gazed right back at Fran with desperate hope and fear in her eyes; as though she weren't sure if she would be saved or half-expected to be crushed flat beneath her mace. Oddly enough she found herself inclined to take pity on the girl. But not was not the time for pity; they had an attack to prepare for, and the last thing they needed was a band of wild homunculi roving the premises. She'd had to ferret out the details from Rider herself long and at length, but she knew a counterattack was coming. How could it not?

Lancer had been slain, Rider wounded, and Saber, well...

...Saber had yet to return.

Despite his masters fevered attempts to summon him back to his side-even going so far as to expend yet another Command Spell-Siegfried still remained missing. His contract was still there, else there would have been a panic, but nothing would bring him back to the castle. That boded poorly enough, but without two of their strongest Servants, they admittedly stood little chance if the enemy faction decided to attack-

"They're here." the woman's sudden declaration caused all eyes to turn on her, but she'd gone silent once more.

Fran tilted her head, considering the little homunculi and her...companion.

She wasn't like the others; not cold like Caster, nor consigned to blind duty as Saber, nor devoid of reason like Rider. For all her lack of faculties she understood reason. Despite what some might think, Berserker of Black was actually quite clever; yes, she may be unable to speak, and had a tendency to fly off the handle in battle. But beneath all that, beneath all the pain and the hurt and the trauma of her legend, the Servant was a good person. Which was why she couldn't let her Master report this.

"Uuuuuuuuuh?"

Caules palmed his face.

"Fran, no. You're not keeping them."

Berserker grit her teeth and stomped a foot.

"Uh."

"Don't you DARE-

 _ **"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!"**_

* * *

 _(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

 _Naruto made it all of two steps into the crypt before the attack came._

Really, he never stood a chance from the very beginning; so fierce was the assault, so swift and brutal, so inhumanely overwhelming, that Berserker held no hope of defeating the brutal terror before it reached him. More powerful than any Servant, greater than any divine, in the face of such towering terror he could only stand his ground. Weather the storm, in the vain hope of surviving the unholy forces accosting him. There was no hope of rescue from his allies as they were still behind him and thus didn't see the attack coming in time. Caught between a rock and a hard place, the blond didn't even have time to yelp before he fell to his aggressor.

 _"Daddydaddydaddy!"_

"DA-?!" Blue eyes bulged. "Jack?! Wait a second, what did you just-

His words dissolved in a strangled squawk and were wholly, utterly, ignored.

Still damp from the cold rain raging outside, Naruto's body had instinctively tensed mere moments before the attack, realizing what was about to happen even as his weary mind did not. It availed him nothing. Even as he tried to move a small meteor of tan-and-black cannoned into his chest with all the force of a hurricane and bowled him over with that fierce battle cry.

"Are you alright?!" Tiny hands flailed at him before, searching for wounds that no longer existed. "Were you hurt anywhere?!"

In hindsight, Sisigou almost wished he had a camera on hand; if only to preserve the gobsmacked look on Berserker's face. For posterity, of course. It was a rare thing indeed to see the ordinarily charismatic blond floored in such a way, both physically as well as mentally. He didn't derive any enjoyment from this...or so he told himself. He certainly didn't _enjoy_ the sight of Naruto's gobsmacked visage as an equally frantic Jack flailed at him like an overprotective daughter. No. Not in the least. True, he _might've_ pushed the idea that the young Assassin should consider him a father figure rather than that of an older brother...

...but it was well worth it if only to see that look on his face.

Berserker was going to kill him for this.

 _Worth it indeed._

Perhaps had he known the thoughts churning in the whiskered warrior's psyche, he might've taken a few steps back.

Naruto reeled.

 _Daddy._

Just now...she'd called him daddy. Putting _that_ can of worms aside, the blond Berserker could only gape at the teary-eyed Servant fussing over the large holes in his vest. His tongue felt dead in his mouth, unable to form the words he wanted to say. A small part of him experienced a strange nostalgia at such treatment, of another child fussing over old wounds. A smaller girl with blue eyes, dark hair, and whiskered cheeks. His mind was all too happy to bask in the pleasant memory and for a moment he lost himself in the warmth of quiet serenity.

But Jack was still tugging at him and he blinked away the phantom to straighten with an effort.

"Just a few new holes, nothing new." he unbent enough to muss her hair, drawing a relieved giggle from his charge. "I should be asking you the same thing, though. How're you doing? I'm sorry I used my Noble Phantasm without warning you, but I didn't have much choice back there. Backlash didn't hit you too hard?"

"Mmhm!" as he looked on her ashen head bobbed in agreement, golden eyes gleaming. "I feel much better now, daddy!"

A lone muscle jumped high in Naruto's jaw as his Mad Enhancement roared back to life with the strength of a thousand men. _Too cute! Stop stop Stooop it! My heart can't take this!_ Times like these served as a painful reminder of his Berserker status; not only did he risk loosing himself in battle, but it stripped him of all restraint and made him more...emotional than he'd like. Such as now. Now, when he _really_ wanted to give Jack a hug. Among other things. He was struck again by the sudden urge to spoil her rotten and-

"Naruto." a familiar voice jolted the Servant in question. "Might I have a word?"

Only then did the duo realize they weren't alone.

In all fairness, Jean Rum had been very patient with her Servant and his ward thus far. Indeed, the bespectacled master had held her tongue until this very moment, content to linger in a corner as the unlikely pair continued to talk amongst themselves. No longer, it seemed. She stepped forward, Sisigou stepped _back_ , and Naruto moved to meet her with a wordless expression of his own. The battle-scarred necromancer knew at once what was about to transpire, what would be said, but even then he still found himself powerless to stop it Something in the way she'd said his name caused the Sisigou to briefly quail, but he stood strong. He knew at once she was wholly displeased if she was going so far as to use Berserker's name...this would bode poorly.

"Hiya, boss." when she didn't immediately answer, a bead of sweat dripped down Naruto's brow. "You're, ah...being awfully quiet. You okay?"

Rather than the rebuke everyone had expected, the brunette surged forward. Slims arms crushed around the startled Servant as she buried her head in his neck. The necromancer waited for the inevitable explosion, rage, shouting, anything. Remarkably, Berserker didn't bolt, though it would've been well within his ability to do so.

"Whoa! Hey!" he sputtered spectacularly, flailing like an oiled eel in her grasp. "Where's this coming from all of a sudden?! My innocent heart isn't prepared for this!"

"Prepared for what?" Asssassin tilted her head, baffled.

"I'll tell you when you're older, Jackie!"

"Aw, but I wanna know now~!"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

 _'Innocent heart my ass.'_ Sisigou chuckled as the blond continued to wriggle and writhe. Berserker was likely the _least_ innocent Servant among them, if not for his pranks, sly remarks, or love of all things chaotic, then his own Madness Enhancement and the ferocity that often followed in his wake. Still, Jean was speaking and he committed himself to watching this spectacle play out to its inevitable conclusion.

"You blind, bloody fool." Jean murmured into his shoulder. "Don't you _ever_ do that again. You hear me?"

"Aw!" this time, Naruto's awkward smile wasn't entirely feigned. "I didn't know you cared!"

"Which is why I'm doing _this."_ she informed him primly.

Naruto blinked twice. "Doing what?"

 _'Here it comes..._

A sweet smile quirked at Rum's lips, but she didn't elaborate further. Verbally, at least.

Instead she stepped back and raised the book she'd been cradling in her right hand. Naruto risked a moment to glance at the purported novel and felt a touch of trepidation at the sight of it; this thick, leather-bound tome with its scarlet cover and its many pages. Large. Heavy. Deadly. He eyed it in quiet confusion, wondering what she intended to do with it. Still Jean held it high and he watched spellbound as her arm rose in a ponderous, graceful arc. An awful pause followed. Blue eyes bulged. No. Surely not. She wouldn't dare-

Jean brought it down squarely on his head.

 _Hard._

At his peak and full of mana, Naruto wouldn't have budged an inch. Servants were physically superior to humans in every way after all, and he was no exception to this ironclad rule. A little smack with a big book-even from an angry Master of Jean's caliber-should have meant nothing to him. Unfortunately he was nowhere near his best. His battle against Lancer had drained him both mentally as well as physically; as it stood he was subsisting on the last dregs of his reserves until he had an opportunity to recharge. In short?

THUNK!

"Hey!" he cried out, massing his throbbing temples. "Whaddya doing?! What did you hit me for?!"

THUNK!

Her tome descended anew without mercy. "I don't understand what you're so angry about-

THUNK!

Another blow sent the blond spinning comically like a tumbling top. "Let me finish!"

Two more strikes followed in swift succession.

"Jeez, alright, alright!" he flung up his hands and blinked the stars out of his vision as she stepped into his guard and clobbered him for a fifth time with a resounding _thwack._ "Stop! Cease! Desist! I'm sorry I didn't warn you about my Noble Phantasm! Is that what you want me to say?! Can we at least talk about this?!"

The faintest of breezes caressed the blond's battered forehead and the headband there.

Rum tilted her head, her tome now hanging a centimeter from his skull. _"And?"_

Naruto creaked an eye open. "And...I won't do it again?"

"Mommy, _no!_ Don't fight with Daddy!"

Naruto swore in abject disbelief.

The brunette sputtered.

"Mommy...?!"

Jean's bespectacled gaze had never wavered in the face of Naruto's protests, not once, but now her wrath and venom inexplicably faltered as a now-distraught Jack wriggled her way between their pressed bodies as only an Assassin could. Before the mage could think to object the nimble killer seized her in a crushing hug and buried her face in her torso. That was all it took to undo her. Jean went rigid, her grace and fury evaporating like so much steam under the weight of those innocent orbs. In short order her composure dissolved into a fit of sputtering. All present parties witnessed this small miracle and wisely held their tongues in trepidatious caution, Naruto chief among them.

Bless Jack's little heart for caring, but why was she calling Jean "Mommy" and him "Daddy" for crying out loud?!"

Even as laughter threatened to burst from its confines and come pouring out of his fool mouth, so too did he plant a hand over his lips to stifle. She would murder him. If so much as a stray _snicker_ escaped his mouth here in this moment, he knew Jean would wreak swift and bloody vengeance. As satisfying as it might be to laugh, in her current state Jean she might actually go so far as to use a Command Spell to silence him. Forever. Her towering blush and the incoherent sputtering certainly put paid to that thought. Ah, but the prize...!

Sisigou caught his eye from across the crypt and shook his head vigorously. _Don't you dare!_

Tempting though it was, he resisted, if only just.

"Its answers you want, then?" he asked, steeling his whiskered visage back into a feigned mask of composure. "Fine, in theory I could've used my cloak without hurting you if I had enough time to set up a few clones or a stopgap; but you saw Lancer out there. He was relentless." when she didn't interrupt, he bulled onward despite her silence. "I barely had a chance to _breathe_ let alone defend myself. Given the... _circumstances,_ it was that or die. Pissing you off seemed like an acceptable alternative.

When the tome didn't clobber again, he almost dared to believe he was safe.

"Great! So everybody's happy! We're all friends again? Right?"

Jeanne appeared seemingly from nowhere to thump the back of his head with her flagpole. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"For being reckless!" she huffed, storming back into the crypt.

"What is _with_ the women in this war, jeez..."

"Naruto?" Rum's voice plucked at his ears and he turned towards her. She smiled then, and it was a terrifying thing to behold.

On the surface it appeared genuine. Pleasant. Anyone else would've been fooled. Not Naruto. He knew what awaited him if he broke that order. Alas, the latter was very much a secondary concern at the moment.

Unfortunately before he could think to ask _who was responsible_ for Jack's new point of view, an armored arm slapped him on the back to send him and the petite Assassin stumbling a few steps forward. Naruto shot the offending party a dark glower. Mordred. Of course it was her.

"Mordred! Not you too!"

"What?! Everyone else was doing it!" her rough, familiar voice crowed. "Look at that! Told ya the runt wouldn't be mad at you!"

Muted laughter tickled his ears as the silvery-haired Assassin buried her head into his torso with a contented mewl and wrapped both arms around his waist. Only then did the rest of his allies finally catch up, the familiar figures of Jeanne and Atalanta trickling in out of the rain behind him. The former sketched a small bow toward the Masters and with a sidelong glance at Naruto, thanked them all for offering her shelter once more before departing for the inner chambers. It was the _latter_ who stiffened at the sight of Jack's petulant face, however.

"Of course I'm not mad!" Jack actually blinked. "Why would I be?"

Atalanta felt her tail twitch.

"Well...

In that moment she was keenly aware of Mordred's glare blazing into her back in jaded judgement. She needn't look to know the silent scorn etched into her face. If she didn't say something here and now she _knew_ that Saber or Red would. Of that Atalanta had her own doubts. The Knight of Treachery might have something of a bad reputation when it came to matters of trust, but here, in this moment, Archer of Red hoped, _prayed_ that their erstwhile ally would understand the ramifications of speaking and _just hold her tongue..._

"Because this shitty Archer betrayed us!"

T'was not to be and those words turned the blood to ice in her veins. It was true, in a sense. She could see how her actions might well be viewed as a betrayal by the knight. Her actions _had_ led to Naruto turning on them, even if he hadn't been in his right mind at the time. If not for Jeanne...well, she shuddered at the thought. But to phrase it like that in front of Assassin...!

Kairi planted a hand against his forehead. "Well. Now you've done it."

The Assassin in question tilted her head. "I don't understand? What happened?"

Naruto and Atalanta shared a terse glance and the poor Archer found herself caught in a paradox; some might even call it a fatal flaw in her character. She was exceedingly blunt in her beliefs as well as her speech, yet couldn't be wholly honest with herself. Her belief that "all children should be saved" once paramount, now clashed violently with her own views and the ugly truth that had been thrust in her face. This was her fault. Her misguided dream not only endangered Naruto, but brought about his rampage when was subsequently backed into a corner by Lancer.

Naruto, who didn't blame her for any of her stupidity, even as it haunted her every waking moment.

Naruto, the Servant who had ever been kind and gracious to her despite her flaws.

Naruto, who treated children like the true treasures they were.

So admitted her guilt; words tumbled out of her. She held nothing back; from the moment the battle had taken place, to Naruto's attempted summoning of Jack. How she'd nearly attacked him for it. His agreement to her terms. The brawl that followed as he fought for his life, and, backed into a corner, threw his reason away.

And at the end of it all, Jack jerked back as if she'd been _burned._

 _"Are you stupid?"_ In an instant those incredulous innocent orbs narrowed to venomous slits; the change proved almost startling. "Why didn't you let me help? You could've killed him!"

Atalanta fought down a flinch; gone was the little girl clamoring for attention, in her place stood Jack the Ripper. Witnessing the duality of her personality proved unnerving enough her, but her words cut deeper than any Noble Phantasm ever could. Try as she might to hold her ground, Archer felt her ears flatten against her head.

...you're not telling me anything I haven't already told myself."

"Doesn't make it right." Mordred shook her head.

"Saber!" the look Naruto gave her bordered on outright outrage. "That's not what happened and you know it! Apologize!"

"Like hell I will!" made discontent by this outburst of anger, the blond growled right back at him. "You were there, zombie! You saw!" even as he tried to respond to her accusation Mordred rounded on Atalanta, thrusting an indignant armored finger towards the recalcitrant Archer. "How can we trust her if she's willing to let you _die_ just to feel good about herself?! If she'd just let you summon Assassin you wouldn't have-

A heartstopping hiss silenced her.

"Wouldn't what? Hmm?" those warm blue ocean orbs turned to ice as she looked on, sapping the warmth from the room. "Gone berserk? Newsflash! _I'm a Berserker!"_ A short step carried him forward as he reamed her out and crushed his forehead against hers. "Its what I do! It was bound to happen sooner or later and I've got it under control now! Don't blame Atalanta for holding true to her ideals!"

"Ideals?!" the knight bristled like struck porcupine. "Is that what you're call those delusions of hers?"

Neither was prepared for the smile.

"Don't you have a dream of your own, Mordred?"

"Of course I do!" she puffed out her cheeks in an irritated huff. "What're you on about?"

Naruto shook his head. "How would you like it if I decided to trample all over that dream, then?"

Mordred's hand flew to the hilt of her sword in a crimson blur, bringing the blade up under the blond's chin. Naruto froze, his hands half-raised. In the same moment Atalanta drew a bead on the furious Saber, knocking an arrow to her bow. Faint pressure registered against her jugular in recompense for her temerity and she realized with a start that Jack had targeted _her_ in retaliation. Their world hung on a razor's edge, ready to tip over at the slightest provocation. The slightest twitch would send their alliance flying apart, leaving them to turn on one another like wild animals.

Salvation came from an unlikely source.

"Oh, for the lo **ve of _...KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY_** _ **!"**_

Rolling now-red eyes back in his head, Naruto exhaled in a long suffering sigh and seized Mordred's great-sword with an unprotected hand. Before anyone could think to stop him from doing anything foolish the whiskered warrior ripped it free from her grasp and bludgeoned her in the head with the hilt, uncaring of the bloody trench it left on his palm, or the yelp she gave as she clutched at the rising welt left there. In the same movement he reached out with his free hand, pinched Jack by the cheek and plucked her off Atalanta's shoulders before sweeping the latter's legs in a spinning kick. Unleashed, the chaste huntress's arrow went wide of of her mark and collided with blond's shoulder, sending him stumbling back half a step as her back struck the floor.

"What the hell's gotten into you three?!" His chest heaved silently from his exertion as he ripped the deadly missile free in a vivid shade of cerise blood, his wild ruby gaze gradually fading back to true blue. "Are we really going to come to blows over something like this?! Are we truly that petty!? I'm disappointed in you lot!"

Silence fell over the crypt in a pall as they each nursed their injuries.

He did not admonish any of them beyond that first, initial snarl, not even Jack as he deposited the ashen-haired girl upon her feet. He didn't have to. Severe scarlet slits surveyed their fallen forms in stoic silence. Those crimson orbs conveyed all the emotion ever needed. _We're better than this,_ they seemed to say. It wasn't even disappointment radiating from him; rather a strange noble savagery she didn't understand. Atalanta felt she could've at least quantified the former not this void that followed. In the span of a single heartbeat, he'd dropped all three of them with ease. If she'd known him to be that skilled she might've been more cautious indeed-

Without warning Berserker buckled; his face turned ashen and his legs folded beneath him as he slumped against the wall in a heap.

"Oh, jeez." he muttered, palming his face with a bloody hand. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Berserker?!"

Jack and Mordred must've shared her concerns, because they were at his side in an instant.

 _"Daddy!/Zombie?!"_

"M' fine, just a little tired." he uttered a grat, jaw-popping yawn in response. "Might've overdone it today...anybody else tired? No? Just me?"

Archer was having none of it. "You're pale!"

"Am not." came the whine.

A clawed hand tried to wave them away, but the trio bulled in regardless of his efforts, united by their shared concern. That once lazy smile seemed entirely too feigned for Atalanta's liking; as though he were trying to put up a brave front in spite of his weakness. Her arrow hadn't done this to him. She could already see the minor would closing-far slower than it should have-but still, Berserker of Red made no move to rise. Curiously enough she noted that his Master had gone ramrod straight in her peripherals.

"Look, I'm really fine-

"Tch. Stupid." Rather than contest him, Saber merely clicked her tongue and dropped onto her haunches before lowering herself to the ground beside him. "You should've told me you were running low on juice; I would've helped you out with Lancer if you did."

"Didn't have a choice. Used most of my reserves first." Bleary blue eyes blinked back at her in half-witted comprehension and exhaustion as she laid her head on his right shoulder. "Didn't want to kill Jean. Speaking of which!" Folding both arms behind his head, Berserker beamed back at her despite their close proximity. "I knew it." he hummed at Mordred with a Cheshire grin, causing the Saber to blink, "You _do_ care. That's good to hear. Makes you more likable, ya know?"

"Like...?!" Her jaw snapped shut with an audible click.

...that was a low blow, Berserker."

"Now, now! Enough about that." Naruto's tongue clicked in mild admonishment as he absently steadied their younger charge nestled against his side. "I'm fine. I will _be_ fine once I get some sleep. That's not what concerns me right now, Jack...its this "daddy" business you're on about...

Assassin deflated like a punctured balloon. "Do you not want me to...?"

A muscle jumped in Mordred's jaw; indeed, if she didn't know better she would've thought her fellow blond was actually _flustered_ by this sudden turn of events. But that was impossible. Berserker wasn't the sort to lose his head over something so mundane; thus she shouldn't let it bother her. Yet it did. The sight of Naruto patting Jack's head while refusing to acknowledge the tiny Assassin as such stirred loathsome thought in her, a dark jealousy that threatened to strangle her every thought and taint the goodwill forged between them. It almost reminded her of- _No!_ Bad Mordred! She was a Knight of the Round! She refused to let this faze her!

Berserker's enthusiastic reply proved itself another matter entirely.

...IT MAKES ME SO DAMN HAPPY! GET OVER HERE!"

 _"Eh?!"_

More an explosion than an actual shout on Naruto's part, Mordred was still wholly unprepared when the blond Berserker gave a loud whoop and wrapped both her,Jack _and_ Atalanta-in spite of the latter's startled shout-into a crushing bear hug. For her part the petite killer welcomed it with happy wholehearted joy, but the Knight of Treachery found herself caught off guard. That was all it took to subdue her.

Atalanta, lacking armor, proved far more nimble and managed to get an arm loose, and wriggle her way free with a yelp. Not so Mordred. For a fleeting moment she found herself crushed against Jack, arms pinned to her side. The faint aroma of his scent filled her nose, the faintest brush of his unruly hair tickling her visage as she stiffened in his arms. Said visage reddened. Green eyes widened.

"H-Hey! What do you think you're doing, _baka berserker?!"_ she flailed fiercely, kicking out at him like a petulant child caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar. "Lemme go! Hug the _chibi_ instead!"

"Can't! Too happy! Wanna hug _everyone!"_ the moment he noticed Atalanta's escape he seized her by the tail and gently but firmly hauled her back into the embrace. " Oi, Ruler! Master! C'mere!"

Jean's muted laughter swelled in her ears. "No, no, no, I known Madness Enhancement when I see it. I'm quite happy with my ribs intact, thank you very much."

"Aw, its not like I'd _try_ to break them!"

His arms tightened around his captives in silent emphasis.

"Master~!" Mordred wailed! "Use a Command Spell or something! Get me out of here!"

"Sorry, my king." The necromancer offered a slight shrug. "I can't arm-wrestle a Servant for you."

 _"Traitor!"_

Sisigiou stubbornly bit the side of his cheek and tried not to laugh as his Servant squawked and the rest of the room descended into chaos; good-natured, beautiful chaos. In a single masterful move Berserker had both dismantled the mounting tension and focused all involved parties on his person. What was the saying these days? _All eyes on me._ Naruto accomplished just that with the sheer force of his personality alone and for the life of him he couldn't tell if this was an act or not. It should have frightened the old necromancer; should have made him wary of this whiskered warrior. Under any other circumstance it would have...but he knew beyond any doubt. This was no act.

In the end he decided Saber deserved her punishment for starting this mess.

Was it possible for a Servant to become drunk from mana exhaustion? He wondered if it was.

"Aw, Mordred, you're so soft~!" Naruto cooed, blear eyes squinting with childlike joy. "And Atalanta's ears are so fluffffffffffy~!"

...yep. Drunk it was, then.

 _"Lemme go, dumbass!"_

"B-Berserker?!"

Despite her feeble protests, something deep inside Mordred's heart warmed at those words. _My King._ There was no malice in them, only cordial respect mingled with wry amusement. Still, they made her...happy, happier than she'd been in a terrible long time. As though she were living vicariously through them.

Even if it did make her a tiny bit jealous...

"Not that I'm complaining, but who gave Jackie ideas?" he demanded to know, drawing her attention anew. "I almost had a heart attack! I want names and I want them now!"

Guileless as ever, the small Assassin indicated the culprit. " _Uncle Kairi did!"_

Blue eyes snapped towards Sisigou.

"Oho? Uncle, was it?"

The necromancer coughed into a fist as the blond's blue gaze found him in an instant. There was no anger lurking behind those azure orbs...perhaps he might've fared better if there were. Instead he found himself face to face with naught but a blank slate, an endless ocean that revealed naught but his own reflection. The glint in them was enough to make him sweat well across the room. If Berserker weren't so woefully low on mana, then he'd likely be up in his face right about now; as it stood he suspected the man would have much to say in a moment.

"She may have...asked questions after you left." he relented. "We didn't discourage her."

The whiskered warrior smiled then. It was madness incarnate. "Mordred...?"

"Hmm?"

"How upset would you be if I maimed you Master?" he inquired sweetly.

His fellow blond tilted her head in his direction. "I'd shove Clarent up your ass."

"Tch." Naruto wrinkled his nose and blew a faux raspberry at her in response. "Spoilsport. Bah, I'll pay him back later." he amended, planting a hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to stifle a yawn. "I'm still sore after _someone_ smacked me around with their Noble Phantasm."

Mordred sputtered.

"Not my fault!" she growled, reluctantly tucking her head into his shoulder. "You went nuts so I had to toss Siegfried and keep you from flipping your lid! You put the others in danger-

"And like any good monarch, you did what you had to do." her companion replied.

"Ha?"

As she looked on, he thumbed his nose.

"I'm not one for serving others...but you'd make a good King."

Mordred's face turned the shade of a thousand burning supernova in all their glory. "W-What the hell?!"

A jaw-popping yawn overrode any protest she might have flung at him. "Tired now...don't wanna talk anymore...

With that line, he was content to sleep.

Servants didn't need sleep unlike most men; not in the conventional sense of the word. Oh, they could certainly be exhausted like any other after a long siege or a hard battle, but food and sleep were not essential concept required to maintaining to their existence. In eating and resting however, they recovered far faster and put less of a strain on their masters. And they were, each of them, exhausted. Their Masters might've found it funny, were they not so stunned by the sight before them.

Mordred propped her head up against his right shoulder.

Atalanta reluctantly claimed his left.

Jack, his lap.

It was a strange, ramshackle position that shouldn't have been comfortable in any way shape or form, and yet neither of the quartet attempted to move. Jack hummed happily, content to take a nap, not once realizing the compromising position the four of them had fallen into. Mordred had all but ceased her struggles, and Atalanta offered only a token resistance as her eyes began to droop shut. A pause followed this as something occurred to Naruto in his final thought mere moments before he drifted off.

...where _did_ you throw Siegfried anyway?"

Saber sputtered softly.

"Hell if I know!"

* * *

(...0o0o0...)

* * *

 _Siegfried laughed._

It was a low, soft sound, somewhat muted by the lake he'd landed in. None heard him. None laughed at him. None chastised him for his failure. He was wholly utterly alone and thus, howled to his heart's content. Not the cry of a broken man, or even a sorrowed one, but one of a man reborn. Drifting aimlessly with his back in the water, he gazed up at the stars and wondered at them. From here it almost looked like he could grasp one of them; he had but to reach out and close his fist around its shining surface.

For the first time since he'd been summoned in this war he felt...free.

Fighting her had awoken something in him, more than duty, more than honor. A spark that lit the fire that blazed through even now.

If it hadn't been for that Command Spell at the last moment he likely would've won the day. Knowing or not his Master had crippled him, but still, had yet to call him back. That

That suited Saber just fine.

It gave him time to sift through his thoughts.

To make sense of the muddled mess he'd been freed from.

Mordred hadn't cut him down. She could bat him about to be sure, even cut him with the aid of a Command Spell reinforcing her blows, but he wondered if the Knight of Rebellion possessed the raw power needed to break through his armor without it. Unlikely. She hadn't been able to injure him until her Master expended one. Her Master would likely have to waste their remaining two if they wanted death to stick. So, rather than admit her loss she'd done the next best thing; in lieu of being unable to land a finishing blow...

...she'd thrown him.

In theory it sounded impossible; for one Servant to simply launch another bordered on absurdity. Yet Saber of Red had done just that. For someone so slight she was frightfully strong. Strong enough to know who she was and what she wanted, to never lose her way even in the thick of battle. How long had it been since he'd felt such a surety of purpose. The thought almost brought a smile to his weathered face.

He wanted to fight her again.

No, that was wrong. He _needed to fight her again._

 **...thou art true to thy heart."** The voice came from everywhere and yet nowhere, jolting him upright. **"Very good!"**

Siegfried flailed to his feet in the shallows, splashing wildly.

It availed him naught and nothing; an armored fist cracked out, driving him down to his knees.

Only then did he glimpse his attacker, only _then_ did he comprehend the danger; how they'd snuck up on him.

He was, in a word, death.

Standing a towering seven feet tall, even Siegfried found himself forced to gaze up at him, this lord reaper in his smoldering black armor, an otherwordly being beyond compare. His sheer presence threatened to render Saber's blood to ice in his very veins, as cold and thick as frozen sludge. Meeting his gaze was another matter entirely. Blue flames blazed out his skull like balefire, a great shield hefted in one hand, and a mighty ebony greatsword dangled almost lazily in the other.

 **"Fear not,"** again that deep resonating voice rolled over him. **"The bell does not toll for thee...today."**

A chill ran through Siegfried.

Danger, his mind screamed, this man is dangerous! _Run! Fly! Flee you fool!_

Death incarnate, a being forged for a single purpose. To kill. For all his invulnerability he felt a chill in the presence of this creature. It hadn't even raised its sword and his very soul was already trying to escape his body in sheer terror. He needed to move, to fly, to flee, to get the hell away from this thing. And yet try as he might, he could only manage a slow, dreadful crawl.

Struggling upright against the sudden pain his chest, the Hero fought his way to his feet.

Behind this great mountain of a man he glimpsed another, a slim waif of a girl in a blue battle dress, armed and armored as if for battle. Flaxen hair danced in the pale light, framing a stern face from which eyes of deep emerald shone, pinning him where he stood. Despite her proximity to this towering terror she displayed not an ounce of fear in her stance nor her bearing. Some unseen weapon shimmered in her right hand, reflecting the waning light back at Saber even as he looked on. No, more than that. She looked almost...familiar. Similar to Mordred. Eerily so. Her bearing and hair were clearly different, and yet...and yet...

Gods above and below.

A terrible realization dawned in the back of the Norse hero's mind and he stumbled back half a step. The identity of this shadowy terror eluded him but he knew who _she_ was. He had to warn them. Not just his own faction, but the Red as well. He owed that much to the knight who'd reawakened his earnest wish deep within him. His body tensed, prepared to leap away, to retreat, to flee-

In an instant that skull-mask snapped towards him and he found himself frozen again.

 **"Halt!"**

His companion flung out an arm to bar his passage, denying him a fatal blow.

"Control yourself, assassin." her voice resonated with a reprimand and the charisma behind it paralyzed the draconic hero outright. "We have not yet been given our orders."

 **"Mine intent is not kill this one, oh King of Knights."** her companion answered with a tilt of his neck. **"Worry not thine head."**

If this was Beauty then the giant before him was surely a Beast. How was she not afraid of him? Even with his newfound resolve Siegfried found it impossible to move, let alone breathe. It was as if some fell force had seized him by the throat, bypassing his armor to squeeze the very life from his lungs.

"Who...who are you?" Siegfried nearly choked on the words.

The woman in blue gave him a pitying look.

But it was Death who answered.

 **"I am naught but a wraith that squirms in darkness."** the newcomer declared stoically, hefting that greatsword as though it weighed naught but a feather. **"I serve thy new faction. The true Order of thine holy war. Rejoice, oh Servant. Thou shalt have thy wish; for I have come to release thee from thine unsightly bond to thy Master."** those armored arms spread wide in benediction, as though to embrace the very sky itself. **"Now! Offer thy head and rise again reborn, Servant of Blue!"**

 _Before Siegfried could think to protest, the sword cut down at his face._

 **A/N: KING HASSAN HAS JOINED THE CHAT.**

 **And he can sever contracts.**

 **Guess who was with him?**

 **Oughta be obvious.**

 **0_0**

 **Felt good to write a more down-to-earth chapter here; a lot of them have been dark and full of terrors lately.**

 **Juicy bits coming next chapter!**

 **Of course, I'm looking forward to writing Naruto's inevitable-approaching scuffle with Achilles. For all his power and skill, there will always be someone better. Achilles was unparalleled in the realm of physical combat, so it stands to reason he'd give Naruto a thrashing if it came down to hand-to-hand combat alone.**

 **"Real men communicate with fists!"**

 **Feels like something he'd say. Berserker or not, Naruto's the honorable sort so he'd naturally accept Rider's proposal. Seems the sort of thing they'd do. As to how 'ol Achilles feels about Atalanta an; her burgeoning feelings toward a certain blond...hmm. She rebuffed him constantly throughout both the anime and the light novel yet showed no interest in anyone else, so whose to say where such an affront might lead?**

 **Achilles doesn't _strike_ me as the jealous sort, but Servants can be many things... **

**And now the Blue faction-beholden to none but the Grail itself and its chosen master-finally rears its head. Ought to be obvious whose leading it.**

 **Once again for the sake of clarity I'll explain the state of things as far as the relationships go.**

 **When I say that, I mean what Naruto thinks of the _girls_ and then _their_ feelings for him:**

 **Jeanne= Amusing/Enigma.**

 **Jack= Daughter/Daddy.**

 **Jean= Master/Servant.**

 **The Holy Grail= Oh, that's cute/** **Anomaly.**

 **Mordred= Partner/Potential Love Interest.**

 **Atalanta= Friend/Someone Who Must Not Be Killed.**

 **Semiramis= Pity/ Moderate Concern.**

 **Frankenstein= Sibling^/#% &^**

 **Astolfo= Are You Kidding me?!/WHO THE HELL IS HE?!**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review...Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previewssss!**

 **Care to guess what I'm thinking?**

 **TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!**

 **They're all coming sooner or later...its mere a matter of if or when.**

 **Here's a handful** **this time around. Hope you enjoy them, because I'm beat~!**

 **They're all fun little bits and pieces, and we get to see Grail's new faction next chapter~!**

 **As ever, your kind, thoughtful reviews really spur me to keep on writing, I can't thank you all enough for them!**

 **(Potential Previews)**

 _"A day off? Just like that?"_

 _Jean hoisted her book again._

 _"Alright, alright! Take it easy! I was only joking!"_

 _"The two of you went ballistic back there." Sisigou reminded them patiently. "I can't speak for Archer's Master, but we need to recover."_

 _"So a mini-vacation? Fine by me!"_

* * *

 _At first he didn't recognize her._

 _With her hair down and her ears hidden she looked much the same as any human. She'd even managed to conceal her presence entirely; even at this range he couldn't sense her. Though she clearly lurked well within his peripherals, her aura was all but masked to him._

 _...yet there could be no hiding her eyes._

 _Golden orbs like that weren't everyday fare and no amount of sorcery or spellbinding on her part could ever conceal them._

 _Her companion was another matter._

 _He had the eyes of a raptor._

 _She wrinkled her nose at him. "You're lively for a dead man."_

 _"I wished to make certain you survived." She sniffed. "As my curiosity is satisfied, I will now depart-_

 _He seized her wrist._

* * *

 _"Fight me."_

 _All eyes turned toward Rider._

 _"Ha?!"_

 _"C'mon don't be like that. Its just a spar." Achilles beamed. "No Noble Phantasms, no tricks, no weapons. Just fists. I wanna see what you're made of. Unless of course...you're afraid?"_

 _Atalanta facepalmed. "Here we go again..._

 _A muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw._

 _"Fine."_

 _Then Achilles levered him into a wall._

* * *

 ** _"The bell tolls for thee, Berserker."_**

 _"I don't fear death." he winced, clutching his wounded arm as they circled one another. "Maybe its the class, but I stopped caring about it a long time ago, you know."_

 _ **"Then thou art a fool."** Cold azure orbs glared back at him from within the azure flames. **"And for this foolishness you will hand over thy head."**_

 _"Idiot! Of course I'm afraid." a rueful smile flashed out at the lord of all assassins as their deadly dance continued. "I'm terrified. You can kill me. You probably will, and frankly, I don't want to die. I finally found something to live for again. But you won't get past me. Because, unlike you, I stand for something. I'll stand for them. The people I care about. I'll even die for them if I have to-_

 _The blow took him hard and low in the stomach to burst out his back._ _Blood bubbled up between clenched teeth, yet even so he seized hold of the sword with both hands, denying him the fatal blow. He may as well have tried to spit in the face of an inferno. Deeper that fell weapon plunged, ripping and tearing through him._

 ** _"Thy bonds are thine weakness."_**

Blue eyes blazed red.

 _"Bite me~!"_

* * *

 _...I don't believe you."_

 _"I can give you Power! Life! Glory!"_

 _"And yet I want none of these things."_

 _She bristled. "Don't you walk away from me, Naruto!"_

 _"Or what? This is me. Walking right out the door. Try and stop me."_

* * *

 _"Is that all, Saber of Red? I expected more from you-_

 _A crimson shadow fell over him, looming large._

 ** _"KAR~NA~!"_**

 _And then there was pain._

 **R &R~!**


End file.
